Beer not carbing. First time cold crashing.

[ebaynote]

Hello all-
So I brewed JZ's Evil Twin on 7/24. On 8/3 I added hops for dry hopping into the primary. First time dry hopping in primary. I had gotten two days of the same gravity reading before I did this. On 8/8 I cold crashed at 38 degrees for three days. First time cold crashing as well. Racked to bottling bucket and let sit for one day at room temperature, then bottled. I used Copper bottling drops. To date this beer has still not carbed. I split this three ways with buddies at bottling time and none of us have had a carbed beer. What could be the problem here? Cold crashing and dry hopping in primary are both new to me but from what I read on the forum I seem to have followed what you all are doing. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
OG 1.076-over shot, I know.
FG 1.015
AG batch
fermented in a chest freezer.

 

[Revvy]

Neither of those issues affect carbonation. We do that all the time and our beers still carb, so you have to look at something else...Which usually is simply impatience, or too cool a carbing environment.

The 3 weeks at 70 degrees, that that we recommend is the minimum time it takes for average gravity beers to carbonate and condition. Higher grav beers take longer.

Stouts and porters have taken me between 6 and 8 weeks to carb up..I have a 1.090 Belgian strong that took three months to carb up.

Temp and gravity are the two factors that contribute to the time it takes to carb beer. But if a beer's not ready yet, or seems low carbed, and you added the right amount of sugar to it, then it's not stalled, it's just not time yet.

Everything you need to know about carbing and conditioning, can be found here Of Patience and Bottle Conditioning. With emphasis on the word, "patience."

If a beer isn't carbed by "x number of weeks" you just have to give them ore time. If you added your sugar, then the beer will carb up eventually, it's really a foolroof process. All beers will carb up eventually. A lot of new brewers think they have to "troubleshoot" a bottling issue, when there really is none, the beer knows how to carb itself. In fact if you run beersmiths carbing calculator, some lower grav beers don't even require additional sugar to reach their minimum level of carbonation. Just time.

 

[ebaynote]

Thank you sir!