Is my beer infected?

Did I say beer? Sorry, I meant to say penis....Is my penis infected?

Oh, gosh darn, there I go again, I was so busy looking at Russia from my bedroom window that I forgot I don't have a penis. I was just talking about the penis I am holding in my hand.

What's your name? Shagger? Shegger?.....Ah, ok, Sheckey....This thing I'm holding, is it infected? Please be honest Joe....er, I mean Sheckey. You can tell me. I won't post your answer on HBT.

It seems to have some furry patches around the base, should I dip that in some starsan?

*pulls up a seat and watches where this one leads.*

So Gnome, have you gotten a new dealer of something? I think the acid you've been doing lately must be some wild a$$ed ****.

Gnome, boil it for about 15 minutes...should be okay at that point.

MMMMM...Acid.... those were the days. LGI I think you need to go out and get some fresh air or something

I skipped over this thread 3 or 4 times in the "New Posts" before I realized where it was posted and who posted it. I have high hopes for this thread.

Pictures???

Following threads on here is like heading down the rabbitt hole... and the colors are so pretty too!

Where the hell do I figure into this thing?

And I'd say, no, it's not infected. All that sagging and puss is simply from lack of use. What happened, did you have your hands amputated?

carbon111 said:

Gnome, boil it for about 15 minutes...should be okay at that point.

Click to expand...

Nurse!!! I said prick his boil!! Not boil his prick!!

Here's a thought: take some of the stuff you're putting up your nose, and apply it to said penis. That will be fun for the whole family!

[youtube]6AM6vMIudVs[/youtube]

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

Nurse!!! I said prick his boil!! Not boil his prick!!

Click to expand...

<------ trying to get a seat early and avoid the crowd



If you are not sure who's it is just measure it. More than 4" and its not shecky's

Oh god...I just realised that this is going to show up in the similar threads box and on search...I can just see some nervous noob in 6 months or so searching for infected beer info, and stumbling into this freakshow.

Bwhahaha!

dataz722 said:

<------ trying to get a seat early and avoid the crowd



If you are not sure who's it is just measure it. More than 4" and its not shecky's

Click to expand...

I knew you'd remember that intimate night we shared. You are such a tease.
Wink, wink.

Did you taste it?

Revvy said:

Oh god...I just realised that this is going to show up in the similar threads box and on search...I can just see some nervous noob in 6 months or so searching for infected beer info, and stumbling into this freakshow.

Bwhahaha!

Click to expand...

I can't wait for that.

shecky said:

I knew you'd remember that intimate night we shared. You are such a tease.
Wink, wink.

Click to expand...

Who would have guessed you were that flexible!

If you can describe the flavor, we may be able to trouble shoot it for you.

dataz722 said:

<------ trying to get a seat early and avoid the crowd



If you are not sure who's it is just measure it. More than 4" and its not shecky's

Click to expand...

SHHHHHH!! I'm listening to Ween!! I loves me some ween!


I'm just a little Weeny at heart

dataz722 said:

Who would have guessed you were that flexible!

Click to expand...

Pilates, my friend, pilates. I took classes from Yooper. She showed me how to put my legs behind my ears.

Revvy, says that his never shows any activity half the time and is OK.

shecky said:

Pilates, my friend, pilates. I took classes from Yooper. She showed me how to put my legs behind my ears.

Click to expand...

At first I read that as Pirates. That was slightly disturbing. Even more so than everything else in here.

beerkrump said:

Revvy, says that his has never shows any activity half the time and is OK.

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LOL!

My coworkers are wondering why I'm howling. Damn...

Spray some Windex on it...it cures everything.



(or maybe starsan.)

If you know which movie this is from you win a kiss from LGI!

I love pirates. If I get green on my inner thighs, then I know them pirate ear rings are not real gold.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

I love pirates. If I get green on my inner thighs, then I know them pirate ear rings are not real gold.

Click to expand...

But were the earrings actually in their ears?

Revvy said:

Spray some Windex on it...it cures everything.

(or maybe starsan.)

If you know which movie this is from you win a kiss from LGI!

Click to expand...

You big fat Greek bastard, you!

beerkrump said:

Revvy, says that his never shows any activity half the time and is OK.

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Uh yeah....don't remind me....I haven't had a "blowoff tube" that wasn't my own doing in a long time.

Revvy said:

Spray some Windex on it...it cures everything.

(or maybe starsan.)

If you know which movie this is from you win a kiss from LGI!

Click to expand...

No, you don't win a kiss, you get your dignity card revoked (myself included, because my wife watches that stupidass movie sometimes when it comes on teevee).

They stole that from Chris Rock anyway...not the same product, but the same idea.

[youtube]wd-EBG3a7jU[/youtube]

Maury approves of this thread.
-Me

I didn't even need to hit play on that youtube clip. That is one of my favorite jokes of his.

Evan! said:

No, you don't win a kiss, you get your dignity card revoked (myself included, because my wife watches that stupidass movie sometimes when it comes on teevee).

Click to expand...

Actually it is sort of a "guilty pleasure" movie of mine...it really isn't too different from my Spanish ethnic/second generation upbringing.
Elderly Greek women in babushkas and Elderly Spanish women in babushkas are pretty interchangable...They're both scary.

now its an endless wormhole

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/my-beer-infected-71110/index2.html#post1473838

dataz722 said:

now its an endless wormhole

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You bastard! Do you realise how horny that makes someone with a worm shaped penis!?


mmmmmm........endless wormhole

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

You bastard! Do you realise how horny that makes someone with a worm shaped penis!?

Click to expand...

Actually no, I did not. But thank you for informing me of that.

Disclaimer: My penis does not actually resemble a worm.

In actual fact, it resembles anything that the nearest lady wants it to look like. I have a shape-shifting penis.

I remember that one time I was standing near Rosie O'Donnel, wham! Jodie Foster shaped penis. That one was hard to explain in the men's room!

I met Clinton one time, and yeah, a fooking cigar! Great for dating Castro, but frankly, you don't want a penis like mine. I mean, I met Anjelina once, NOBODY needs a penis shaped like an undernourished African child.

You just gotta trust me on this one.

Be very careful, this thread is a landmine field of sexual innuendo. *BOOM*

Innuendo would imply that it was hidden.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

I met Clinton one time, and yeah, Bill's head on a stake!

Click to expand...

Fixed it for you.

But what is happening over here?

chefmike said:

But what is happening over here?

Click to expand...

Darn that infernal wormhole!! That thread is only suitable for people with normal penises!