You're no longer a n00b when...

[the_bird]

I don't think so. Catfish was/is in Japan, I don't remember him ever saying anything about it being illegal. I think he might have had some difficulties procuring ingredients.

 

[BlueSunshine]

429. You have an entire full service kitchen that's bigger than your cooking kitchen, who's only purpose is to brew beer.

Also, I've started calling my cat Fuggles.

 

[bohdan987]

309. You start judging females at the bar by what they drink instead of how they look.

i have done that many times, after i started brewing.

 

[bohdan987]

365: You quit smoking cause you cant afford to brew and smoke!

thats why you start rolling your own cigarets.

 

[bohdan987]

#430. when you pulled out all of your wood working tools and set up the shop in the garage so you can make a grain mill.

 

[DanPoch]

#430. when you pulled out all of your wood working tools and set up the shop in the garage so you can make a grain mill.

#431 When you begin moving your 'wood working shop' to the garage from the basement so you can use the basement for conditioning and storing your kegs and bottles.

 

[Spyd3r]

#432 When you immediately agree to do whatever SWMBO wants anytime she mentions how much "beer stuff" you have.

 

[MilwaukeeBrewGuy]

#433 - When you've told the wife you were too tired so you could read the chapter on saccharification by Palmer.

 

[mordantly]

434, You finally wake up to malt on your sack.

 

[DRoyLenz]

434, You finally wake up to malt on your sack.

HAHA... you should probably wash your hands after brewing and before pleasuring yourself....

 

[mordantly]

well when i gotta go, it's time to go.

 

[PHBalanced]

You are no longer a n00b when:
You buy your smack pack at lunch, as well as some DME for starters. Get back in your car, smack it likes it's SWMBO's ass,

LMAO! Great way to describe it next time when SWMBO wants to smack it. hehehe

 

[atromic]

[64]when you realize that no matter how much you know and have brewed, you'll never know it all.

This one says it all... Noob is a state of mind!

 

[PHBalanced]

#435 - You know what EAC stands for and where it came from. And if anyone asks, your response is, "use the search and figure it out. It's a right of passage."

It took me something like 4 hours to find the answer...

 

[phatuna]

#435 - You know what EAC stands for and where it came from. And if anyone asks, your response is, "use the search and figure it out. It's a right of passage."

East Asia Crossing or Equivalent Annual Cost

 

[Seabee John]

.....Your wife tells family and friends to purchase You a BYO subscription for Christmas through the BN - hell, your no longer a noob when your wife is aware that the BN exists and what it is for...

 

[mordantly]

#435 - You know what EAC stands for and where it came from. And if anyone asks, your response is, "use the search and figure it out. It's a right of passage."

It took me something like 4 hours to find the answer...

exactingly anal cleanliness?

 

[HomelessWook]

#436 still a newb and finding this thread hilarious to the point of calling your SWMBO into the room to read numbers 106-112 only to find her more amused by doing her hair

 

[impatient]

You know your not a noob when you get 90+ efficiency every rip.

5 lbs. American 2-row info
4 lbs. Pilsner Malt info
1 lbs. White Wheat info
1 lbs. Vienna Malt info
1 oz. Magnum (Whole, 14.50 %AA) boiled 60 min. info
1 oz. Cascade (Whole, 5.50 %AA) boiled 20 min. info
1 oz. Cascade (Whole, 5.50 %AA) boiled 5 min. info
Yeast : Danstar 3767 Nottingham info

Pulled 6.5 gallons off the mash for a pre-boil SG of 1.055. From now on I think I'll change the default mash efficiency in the calculator to 90 at least. I have never got under 90, even my first time. And I never change a thing.

I have always ran a continuous sparge. (Fly sparge)

I always mash in @ 153.
Stir every 15 minutes, let the bed settle for the last 15.
Clear my runnings.
Start my sparge arm when the water is 1" above the grain bed.
Every few minutes, I stir down 3 to 4" into the grain bed(this is with 10-12lbs of grain in a 10 gallon round igloo cooler, never disturb the last six inches and you will never have to clear your runnings again). I push the grain out towards the side of the cooler to keep the water from running around the grain. You know you have done it right when you have little bitty holes everywhere on the top the grain bed when the water level drops below.

Thats it. 90% or better every time.

 

[lady_brewer]

#436 - at least half your plans for renovating are brewing related in some way...
#437 - Even though the hubby is usually in charge of how to make what you (t)ask him to make, you start to have really strong opinions on how the wort chiller and pasta grain mill will be made...
#438 - Although you can't access HBT at work you have made up a metric/ US ingredient conversion chart at work so that you can play with the brewing there too

 

[mordantly]

#439. you crash your cnc lathe daydreaming about RIS. whoops, sorry boss!

 

[ReverendTap]

Still a n00b, but it has to be said...

You know your life is awesome when you read most of the SWMBO-related posts on this thread aloud, and in response your wife says, "those poor bastards" and starts planning out how you can brew more often. :rockin:

 

[DanPoch]

Still a n00b, but it has to be said...

You know your life is awesome when you read most of the SWMBO-related posts on this thread aloud, and in response your wife says, "those poor bastards" and starts planning out how you can brew more often. :rockin:

You are a fortunate man

 

[Seabee John]

#440 You volunteer for a deployment to Afghanistan cause you know you'll save up a ton of cash and will be able to afford serious rig upgrades and that new keezer

 

[DanWadeOKC]

#441: Your GIRLFRIEND can't decide what type of ingredients to buy you for valentines day because you've already brewed 3/4 of the brewers best kits and she doesn't like stouts.

 

[webnmar]

#442 - Maybe close to being redundant, but SWMBO decides that we need a new(second) refrigerator because you are taking up too much space and she can't fit the groceries. You heartily agree, and soon this becomes a project to rennovate the kitchen for the new fridge, new floor, remove wallpaper and paint, changes in the basement for the old fridge, new wiring for old fridge..... but you gladly toil away and turn the new fridge into a $4K project, just to get the old fridge all to yourself!! Yes, I am living this right now. I love my wife!!

 

[wawawrx]

i got a good laugh out of #1-100, and i'm printing that list out to guide my first brew

 

[Nowuries]

The local Jehovah Witnesses by-pass your house when you've got the brew pot going in the garage.

Well, being a JW and knowing at least 6 others around OKC who brew too.... I could tell you that it might be drawing us to you! lol .... don't be surprised if we ask if you need any help! ..... then try to slip you a tract HAHAHA:rockin:

 

[brad26]

#443 Your wife, who hates beer, wants to try your pumpkin ale because it smelled so good during the boil. I think I'm finally going to see my wife drink a whole beer.

 

[LowerMillHillBackyardBrew]

I am a n00b, but had a great moment which made me feel less n00by while brewing my 2nd batch yesterday (1st non-kit batch, also a great feeling!):

444. Your brewday has been going great, until you make a big screw up during the last phases (in my case cooling), so you panic, start thinking of solutions to your screw up, but suddenly the letters RDWHAHB flash before your eyes, and you decide to do just that!

(long story short I accidentally added over a pint of cold water to my already veery small batch - but didn't screw up OG too bad, and now it's happily fermenting! And I'll get about a pint more of a hopefully good stout!)

Also guys dancing around beer is perfectly fine. Ever heard of a rain dance? A hop dance is the same concept, dancing for good utilization and superior aroma.

This reminds me of a fun fact: in traditional Norwegian brewing, the brewers used to yell and shout a lot during/after pitching the yeast (or "magic brewing stick" as it was called back then) - as this was believed to be good for the yeast/brew and scare away evil spirits and other spooky supernatural creatures which could ruin the brew! :rockin:

 

[Plastered_Marble]

Hey there fellow noob.

#454 you come home from the LHBS and SWMBO greets you with "HELL NO!" You explain that it's a mash paddle, she gets jealous of your MLT and berates you for never buying anything for her.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

#455 - you haven't posted in this thread in 3 years.

 

[brew2enjoy]

Lol I'm a noob and this is great. Thanks for the laugh!

 

[eljefe]

You lose your Gromet in the wort

 

[dfc]

You lose your Gromet in the wort

Wait, wouldn't that be a noob thing to do?

 

[Beer_Guy]

It would be a Noob thing if you start a thread on it. If you KNOW to just leave it and RDWHAHB, then you are no NOOB.

 

[dfc]

It would be a Noob thing if you start a thread on it. If you KNOW to just leave it and RDWHAHB, then you are no NOOB.

I always put my airlock in the grommet before putting the lid on.

 

[Beer_Guy]

I have not gotten all the way through yet but had to mention this…

…
209) you actually clean the kitchen, like she asked you to - just not for the same reasons anymore.
…

#456 You clean the kitchen BEFORE you brew.

 

[Mongrel]

Very much a n00b, but..

#457 you laugh uncontrollably every time some a-hole reporter claims that Four Loko has the alcohol equivalent of four beers

 

[ale_mongrel]

#458 While youre brewing, you are explaining the process, sanitation, ingredients what they do, why you are adding what when, in great almost clandestine profetic detail to your dogs.

#459 All you have to read in the head is Papizian and Palmer