Wish Corruption thread

[Wyldjim]

Granted. It is saturday but you went blind from poorly made counter-top whiskey.

I wish the Suns didn't get slaughtered tonight

Ganted, but now they are going to play for MLB. You don't get to watch them till after spring training, and they will still really svck

I wish I had never heard of HBT

 

[Hang Glider]

I wish I had never heard of HBT

Granted. Of course you never learned anything valuable about brewing, either. So your homebrew is god-awful. And you cannot read this reply nor any other amusing prattle as you never had a membership.

I wish the time-change worked correctly on ALL computers.

 

[gak27]

Granted. Your alarm clock, however, is not a computer and somehow manages to randomly reset itself to flashing "12:00" on the worst possible days.

I wish both Calvin and Hobbes AND The Far Side were still being published.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. Your alarm clock, however, is not a computer and somehow manages to randomly reset itself to flashing "12:00" on the worst possible days.

I wish both Calvin and Hobbes AND The Far Side were still being published.

Granted, they are both being published, but they are no longer being written or drawn by the original authors. Now, not only do they suck, but they ruin even the old comics for you.


I wish I had more motivation to get to the gym every other day.

 

[bernerbrau]

Granted, they are both being published, but they are no longer being written or drawn by the original authors. Now, not only do they suck, but they ruin even the old comics for you.


I wish I had more motivation to get to the gym every other day.

Granted. You're dying of a terminal illness, and the doctor says you can probably get a few more months if you get more exercise.

I wish my job didn't work us so damn hard before the holidays just to keep up with self-imposed deadlines.

 

[captianoats]

Granted. You are now unemployed and have to make your family macaroni art presents.

I wish I liked a football team that's better than the St Louis Rams

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted. You are now unemployed and have to make your family macaroni art presents.

I wish I liked a football team that's better than the St Louis Rams

Granted... you're now rooting for France. Sacre Bleu, j'aime bien la foot!

I wish I had a large pizza....buffalo chicken. Easy on the grease. No Fromage Bleu for dipping, I'm no fatty....

 

[android]

granted. but they used a genetically modified animal called a 'buffalo chicken' and those taste like ass.

i wish i had 'the force'

 

[scrambledegg81]

i wish i had 'the force'

Granted. The SF Giants unofficial mascot (aka The Machine) is at your doorstep waiting to administer some hardcore, leather-clad S&M-style Skywalker action upon thee.



I wish my damn hiccups would go away.

 

[Meisterlowin]

Granted. But the hiccup treatment gave you chronic flatulence and was tainted with hepatitis C.

I wish I had a day off.

 

[Hang Glider]

Sorry you had to wait for it - but Granted. You have tomorrow off. Back to work Sunday!

I wish my research paper was done.

 

[Newbeerguy]

Sorry you had to wait for it - but Granted. You have tomorrow off. Back to work Sunday!

I wish my research paper was done.

Granted. A day late....you fail



I wish I'd get a raise at work

 

[Jim Karr]

Granted. You get a raise, but now you're expected to work at least 65 hours for the new pay scale.

I wish all orders were free shipping.

 

[bernerbrau]

All orders now come free shipping, but they had to hire "special needs" workers to be able to afford it. All your yeast arrives in smashed vials, your hops opened and pre-skunked, and don't get me started on the crush of your grains.

I wish I didn't have to watch my gas grill so closely to properly smoke this skirt steak.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Granted. You don't have to bother watching it at all. It is going to get screwed up no matter what, so don't bother watching it.

I wish my son would get a deer this year.

 

[Sean]

You know were this one is going: You look out the back window and your son is "getting/doing" a deer...

I wish I had more time for my Hobbies!!

 

[captianoats]

Granted: You got laid off, so you have plenty of time for your hobbies but can't afford any of them.

I wish I could win my fantasy football league this week.

 

[avidhomebrewer]

Your fantasy league is made up entirely of the Minnesota Vikqueens.

I wish I could drink more beer tonight.

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish I could drink more beer tonight.

Granted. A truck carrying not but Colt 45 has just wrecked in front of your house.




I wish the world had more waffles.

 

[TMet]

Granted. Due to new FDA regulations the only food fit for human consumption are plain Eggo waffles. Syrup and butter are banned as well.

I wish my apfelwein was finished.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. Due to new FDA regulations the only food fit for human consumption are plain Eggo waffles. Syrup and butter are banned as well.

I wish my apfelwein was finished.

Granted... your apfelwein is finished... meaning: there is no more of it.

I wish I had more than one day off of work this week without getting fired.

 

[bernerbrau]

Granted... your apfelwein is finished... meaning: there is no more of it.

I wish I had more than one day off of work this week without getting fired.

Granted. You quit instead.

I wish 2:30 would get here sooner.

 

[captianoats]

Granted. It's 2:30 and you can go home now. Too bad you missed out on your boss giving you that big promotion and raise.

I wish I didn't have to go eat my grandmas turkey tomorrow instead of my in laws. My grandma does a much better job.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. It's 2:30 and you can go home now. Too bad you missed out on your boss giving you that big promotion and raise.

I wish I didn't have to go eat my grandmas turkey tomorrow instead of my in laws. My grandma does a much better job.

Granted... But this year, they accidentally burned all of the food.

I wish I wasn't so hung over...

 

[Nurmey]

Granted... But this year, they accidentally burned all of the food.

I wish I wasn't so hung over...

Granted. You don't feel any effects of drinking. Unfortunately, you are sick as a dog from bad turkey.

I wish I was brewing beer right now.

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish I was brewing beer right now.

Granted. The best King Cobra clone ever made is now simmering in your kettle.



I wish I didn't have to mow the lawn. Again.

 

[captianoats]

Granted- Your lawn is so brown and barren it will never have to be mowed again. Too bad Mr. Jones next door has a beautiful green lawn that looks like a golf course.

I wish I wasn't allergic to pine trees so SWMBO could have a real christmas tree.

 

[Joemama474]

Granted- Your lawn is so brown and barren it will never have to be mowed again. Too bad Mr. Jones next door has a beautiful green lawn that looks like a golf course.

I wish I wasn't allergic to pine trees so SWMBO could have a real christmas tree.

Granted, but the real tree catches fire and severely damages the house.

I wish Heidi Klum was my personal sex kitten.

 

[snowveil]

I wish Heidi Klum was my personal sex kitten.

Granted. You now own a cat named Heidi Klum. Wait...what are you DOING?


I wish I wasn't sick.

 

[Joemama474]

Granted. You now own a cat named Heidi Klum. Wait...what are you DOING?


I wish I wasn't sick.

Groovy. Not sick anymore, just dead.

I wish I didn't have to take the ridiculous Communications Class I'm avoiding the homework for right now.

 

[captianoats]

Granted, you dropped out of school, too bad you still have to pay the student loans

I wish my dog knew how to pour a beer out of my kegerator for me.

 

[TANSTAAFB]

Granted, your dog now pours perfect pints and promptly drinks them in your absence. You are out of beer and have a very drunk dog.

I wish it was December 17th, I was graduated and happily drunk on homebrew marking the official end to my undergrad experience!!!

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish it was December 17th, I was graduated and happily drunk on homebrew marking the official end to my undergrad experience!!!

Granted. You wake up on Dec. 18th with a horrid hangover, realizing you still have grad school to take care of. And your brew was so popular, your "friends" drank your place dry.



I wish Xmas shopping wasn't so damn expensive.

 

[hereforbeer]

Granted. You wake up on Dec. 18th with a horrid hangover, realizing you still have grad school to take care of. And your brew was so popular, your "friends" drank your place dry.



I wish Xmas shopping wasn't so damn expensive.

Granted.You get nothing but lentils for Xmas.

I wish I could work on my own terms,and get paid as much as I want even if unemployed.

 

[SPR-GRN]

Granted, but your good fortune sparks jealousy from your neighbor and he kills you, burys your body under the floor, and assume your identity to collect your paychecks.

I wish I owned and operated a craft brewery that made great beer, and managed to stay in the black!

 

[tallybrewer]

I wish I owned and operated a craft brewery that made great beer, and managed to stay in the black!

Granted; you setup shop on the gulf coast immediately before the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill - you're in the black, alright.

I wish we had one unified world government without conflict.

 

[bernerbrau]

I wish we had one unified world government without conflict.

Granted. It's a fascist government and there's no conflict because everyone has cerebral implants that release cyanide into their bloodstream whenever they think unpatriotic thoughts.

I wish the cafeteria was serving better food today.

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted...Your food contains all the essential vitamins and nutrients for a healthy meal making it much better. Unfortunately it tastes like a hot, steamy, fresh from the source horse turd.

I wish our CIO supported using virtualization to P2V physical servers that were out of date and support, regardless of whether or not they were prod, qa, uat, or dev.

 

[tallybrewer]

I wish our CIO supported using virtualization to P2V physical servers that were out of date and support, regardless of whether or not they were prod, qa, uat, or dev.

Granted; but then your CIO decide to move all of your data to the cloud & outsourced your job to Mumbai.

I wish I could bowl a perfect game.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, you are now allowed to bowl a perfect game. To bad you still don't have the skill

I wish somebody would buy me a lifetime membership to this site.