Wish Corruption thread

[JewBrew]

I wish my dog would stop being sick.

Your dog is dead. (sorry, its only method the guarantees that your dog will never be sick again.)

I wish I had a dog.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Your dog is dead. (sorry, its only method the guarantees that your dog will never be sick again.)

I wish I had a dog.

Granted... You now own strat_thru_marshall's (now deceased) dog.


I wish I weren't so damn tired.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Your dog is dead. (sorry, its only method the guarantees that your dog will never be sick again.)

IS NOT. Marshall has his eye on you now. He's very territorial.

 

[TMet]

I wish I weren't so damn tired.

Granted! You are wide awake and have to get up in 4 hours for a 12 hour shift.

I wish the above did not apply to me.

 

[vast_reaction]

Granted. You are unable to get any shut-eye during the 4 hours you have available, and your shift is extended to 72 hours.

I wish it was Thursday, so I could get my paycheck and buy a case of 22oz bottles.

 

[Frankfurtvr4]

It is Thursday but you arrive at work to find they have gone bankrupt and can't afford to pay anyone.

I wish Mel Gibson was still in the next hangover movie.

 

[TMet]

Granted, but so are Carrot Top, Fran Drescher, and Justing Bieber. Zach Galifinakis(sp?) backs out. The movie also plays out like a giant Bud Light ad.

I wish the radio station would quit playing the same songs over and over.

 

[bernerbrau]

I wish the radio station would quit playing the same songs over and over.

Granted. Now you live in North Korea, where they play nothing but propaganda on the radio.

I wish my coworkers had told me last night's production deployment had been canceled so I didn't have to stay up until 10 and wait around 2 hours like an *******.

 

[Frankfurtvr4]

Granted, They tried to tell you but really had no idea what a production deployment really was.

I wish my boss would cancel tonight's brief.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted, They tried to tell you but really had no idea what a production deployment really was.

I wish my boss would cancel tonight's brief.

Granted tonight's brief has been cancelled to allow you enough time to pack for your month long urinal cake seminar in scenic Uganda.

I wish people would stop asking me to give my sh*t away...

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted tonight's brief has been cancelled to allow you enough time to pack for your month long urinal cake seminar in scenic Uganda.

I wish people would stop asking me to give my sh*t away...

Granted... People just assume you are giving it away and take it without asking.


I wish these advertisers would wait until at least after Thanksgiving to shove Christmas down our throats.

 

[AwesomeSquad]

Granted... People just assume you are giving it away and take it without asking.


I wish these advertisers would wait until at least after Thanksgiving to shove Christmas down our throats.

Granted, but Christmas is the name of a 6'5" 400lb guy that works at the car wash down the street.

I wish that my boner was some sort of an antidote that could only be taken orally.

 

[TXCrash]

Granted. Have fun in san fransisco.

I wish I wasn't such an *******.

Granted, but Christmas is the name of a 6'5" 400lb guy that works at the car wash down the street.

I wish that my boner was some sort of an antidote that could only be taken orally.

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted. Have fun in san fransisco.

I wish I wasn't such an *******.

Granted! You are now the stuff that comes out of the a$$h0le.

I wish my stout was done carbonating.

 

[TXCrash]

Granted. Too bad it tastes like the stuff that comes out of the a$$hole.

I wish I had a fully functional teleportation machine which flawlessly delivered me to the place I wished to go at the time I wished to be there with no ill effects for me or others.

Granted! You are now the stuff that comes out of the a$$h0le.

I wish my stout was done carbonating.

 

[Newbeerguy]

Granted. Too bad it tastes like the stuff that comes out of the a$$hole.

I wish I had a fully functional teleportation machine which flawlessly delivered me to the place I wished to go at the time I wished to be there with no ill effects for me or others.

Granted. But since you told everyone about this fantastic machine, people think your nuts. Your now locked in an asylum for the rest of your life, unable to use the teleportation machine ever again.

I wish I could afford Charlie Sheen's escort.

 

[TMet]

Granted. But since you told everyone about this fantastic machine, people think your nuts. Your now locked in an asylum for the rest of your life, unable to use the teleportation machine ever again.

I wish I could afford Charlie Sheen's escort.

Granted, but now you're gay.

I wish my cat would stop biting me.

 

[gestyr]

Granted, but now you're gay.

I wish my cat would stop biting me.

Granted. Your cat is now a doberman.

I wish I knew what this was.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted... but the reality of what it is is too much for your brain to handle and you go insane.

I wish I were a little bit taller

 

[Newbeerguy]

Granted... but the reality of what it is is too much for your brain to handle and you go insane.

I wish I were a little bit taller

Granted. You now wish you were a baller.

I wish I had a girl who looked good.

 

[TMet]

Granted, she looks amazing through your beer goggles.

I wish there weren't so many commercials getting in the way of my show.

 

[gestyr]

Granted, she looks amazing through your beer goggles.

I wish there weren't so many commercials getting in the way of my show.

Granted. You are watching PBS

I wish I knew where Waldo is

 

[AwesomeSquad]

Granted, but you found that is Waldo in bed with your wife, just drilling her.

I wish that I could do sign language with my penis.

 

[hereforbeer]

Granted, but you found that is Waldo in bed with your wife, just drilling her.

I wish that I could do sign language with my penis.

Granted.It just happens to be too small for anyone to see.Including you.

I wish there was no computer viruses,trojans,malware,adware,blah blah blah.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted.It just happens to be too small for anyone to see.Including you.

I wish there was no computer viruses,trojans,malware,adware,blah blah blah.

Granted, welcome to the year of our lord 1543.

I wish I knew enough about electrical engineering to build a badass e-brew rig.

 

[Hang Glider]

I wish I knew enough about electrical engineering to build a badass e-brew rig.

Granted. Your ebrew rig performs circumcisions and seders.

I wish the weather could stay like today.

 

[VApatriot]

I wish the weather could stay like today.

Granted. The weather remains exactly the same. Consequently, without the change of seasons, no crops including hops and barley never grow again. Brilliant!

I wish I had a big bag of cheese popcorn to go with my cold glass of SWMBO Slayer

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted... Enjoy your Feta Cheese popcorn.


I wish Happy Hour would last longer

 

[AwesomeSquad]

Granted... Enjoy your Feta Cheese popcorn.


I wish Happy Hour would last longer

Done, but Happy Hour is the name of your cell mate.

I wish that blind people sprinted everywhere.

 

[JohnnyO]

Not sure why you want blind people to sprint everywhere, but wish granted. Blind people are sprinting all over the place. Now seeing eye dogs are confused, and have started chasing them down and tearing them apart. Job security, you know.

I wish I could brew before 2011.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, you can brew all you want but you are unable to properly sanitize...


I wish I could shoot lasers from my eyes on demand.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted, you can brew all you want but you are unable to properly sanitize...


I wish I could shoot lasers from my eyes on demand.

Granted, you can now shoot lasers from your brown eye on demand.

I wish SWMBO wouldnt ***** constantly.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Granted. She stops bitching just long enough drag you to the store right before the football game.

I wish all the Christmas commercials would just go away. Especially the jewelry ones.

 

[gestyr]

Granted. She stops bitching just long enough drag you to the store right before the football game.

I wish all the Christmas commercials would just go away. Especially the jewelry ones.

Granted. Now there is nothing on your tv but Hoverround commercials... 24x7

I wish this rash would go away

 

[Clifton]

Your rash is gone...but it took your liver with it.

I wish I could drink my homebrew right now (I'm at work).

 

[djinn88]

Granted, you may drink your homebrew right now. However, all of your beer is infected and you boss caught you. You're FIRED!

=================

I wish I was done with college and could start a great job!

 

[sacrifice]

Granted - you have graduated from college and can start a new job. However, it is the 21st of December 2012 and the world has just ended. There are no jobs, and no you.

I wish that I had two wishes.

 

[captianoats]

Granted. Too bad you wasted your first one (asking for 2 wishes) and you forgot to post your other wish. Too late now

I wish my dog could talk to me.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Granted. Now he will tell you just what a stupid fcku he thinks you are.

I wish it was Saturday.

 

[Limited Visibility]

Granted. It is saturday but you went blind from poorly made counter-top whiskey.

I wish the Suns didn't get slaughtered tonight