Wish Corruption thread

[viking73]

Granted. Every day for you is now a Friday. That's right, no Saturday, no Sunday. Just the endless desire for the workweek to end, but it never does. And worse, it's casual Friday, real casual friday, think Will Farrel in a red white and blue speedo Friday.

I wish that it was Saturday!

 

[rustbucket]

wish granted, but sadly your you have to work every Saturday from here to the day you die. with no coffee breaks.

I wish i had had a new sports car!

 

[superjunior]

wish granted, but sadly your you have to work every Saturday from here to the day you die. with no coffee breaks.

I wish i had had a new sports car!

no problemo, you now have a new Ferrari. sorry to say your license is suspended indefinitely.

I wish the Cleveland Browns didn't suck

 

[pablo1337]

Granted, however the Browns promptly move to Baltimore, and alienate all previous browns fans(including you), and become good.(oh wait that did happen...)

I wish I had a plane ticket home for spring break.

 

[hereforbeer]

I wish I had a plane ticket home for spring break.

Granted.your home is in a extremely technologically advanced dry county full of people who hate your race.

I wish I was toasty

 

[onthekeg]

Granted. But you are so toasty that you are now in Hell.
I wish my kids would cooperate and clean up after themselves.

 

[Vuarra]

Granted... but no one believes you and you find yourself in a mental institution.

I wish I never had any more sinus headaches.

 

[Seabee John]

Granted... Yooper used her roto-rooter to clear your sinus' but now you can't enjoy the aroma of hops or malt...

I wish could stop plucking my ear hair

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

Granted. You lose both your hands in an accident.

Wish I had a supercar...

 

[scrambledegg81]

Granted. You lose both your hands in an accident.

Wish I had a supercar...

Granted. You lose both your hands in an accident. p)



Wish I was more of a happy-go-lucky drunk than a klutzy drunk.

 

[jjayzzone]

Granted, but now you're pregnant with Satan's baby, and you're giving birth out of your urethra.

I wish I had an endless supply of beef jerky.

 

[TXCrash]

Granted, but now you're pregnant with Satan's baby, and you're giving birth out of your urethra.

I wish I had an endless supply of beef jerky.

Granted. A store of beef jerky from the 60's has been found. It's all yours.


I wish I had another reliable, presentable car which I could afford.

 

[mcwilcr]

Wish granted, you have an amazing new car that you can just afford. The kecker is you can no longer afford your house so you now must live out of your car.

I wish I had unlimited time and money so I could brew beer all the time

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

Granted, you get gastric cancer.

I wish I lived long enough to learn everything I want to learn.

 

[Jim Karr]

Wish granted. Problem is, you've developed Alzheimer's, and everything you've learned, you've forgotten.

I wish I alway had $15 extra in my wallet.

 

[iparks81]

Granted, you now have 15$ whenever you need it, except a bum pickpocketed you and now your wallet is giving him 15 bux every time he needs it

I wish I could afford to move to Australia.

 

[Seabee John]

Granted, you now have 15$ whenever you need it, except a bum pickpocketed you and now your wallet is giving him 15 bux every time he needs it

I wish I could afford to move to Australia.

Granted, you are sent to Australia for free as a prisoner sentenced to a life of hard labor during the day and a playground for the boys at night.

I wish I has all my homework done for school tomorrow.

 

[superjunior]

granted. unfortunately your teacher has a gay crush on you and wants to keep you after class to go over your homework.

I wish I was twenty years younger and had my house paid off

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

Granted, you're a kid again. Unfortunately, you won't ave to make another house payment in your life, because you have an incurable disease, and you die tomorrow.

I wish I won 10 million bucks in the Lotto, alone.

 

[viking73]

Granted. You won the ten million dollar lotto. Too bad the rest of the world contracted a killer disease and is now dead.

I wish the week was over already.

 

[Beer604]

Granted. Unfortunately it was the last week of your life.

I wish a clean, cheap, unlimited source of energy is invented, and distributed.

 

[Homercidal]

Granted. Unfortunately it was the last week of your life.

I wish a clean, cheap, unlimited source of energy is invented, and distributed.

Granted, unfortunately, it cannot be confined and wipes out the entire planet's population (except for roaches, who evolve into the universe's greatest conquering species).

I wish Weird Al would put out a new album every year!

 

[DirtBagRob]

I wish Weird Al would put out a new album every year!

Granted! But you contract a terrible disease that make you blind and deaf and you can no longer hear his music or see his videos. Congratulations Helen Keller.

I wish I could eat and drink whatever I want and stay fit, without having to do cardio, like I could 10 years ago.

 

[Snyder]

Granted! But during a freak brewing accident, you mouth has been permanently wire shut.

I wish a hot babe in a bikini would come and mow my lawn every week, so I don't have to.

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

Granted! Unfortunately, the hot babe is a transexual man rapist, and he'll only have you as a payment, at gunpoint.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Coca Cola.

 

[Wyldjim]

Granted! Unfortunately, the hot babe is a transexual man rapist, and he'll only have you as a payment, at gunpoint.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Coca Cola.

Hmmm, well we can't let this thread die...the obvious answer would be you die today?;(
But, let's be different:

Granted, but "New" "New Coke" is made with **** to get the coloring. Enjoy that coke with a smile and enjoy your long life

I wish my wife would stop bringing home new pets

 

[rycov]

granted, she no longer brings home pets, because she no longer comes home! now she lives with paco in san juan. from what i hear he has more money and is better endowed than you.

i wish i had a job that i liked.

 

[scrambledegg81]

i wish i had a job that i liked.

Granted, you now work at a highly reputable microbrewery. Your co-workers are rabid chimpanzees who fling their poo at you while screaming their lungs out.


I wish finals were over with and I aced them all.

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

I wish finals were over with and I aced them all.

Granted! You graduate top of your class. Unfortunately, the day after, you hit your head, and you spend the rest of your life with the I.Q. of a mosquito.

I wish I could get out of Miami.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted! You graduate top of your class. Unfortunately, the day after, you hit your head, and you spend the rest of your life with the I.Q. of a mosquito.

I wish I could get out of Miami.

Granted. Straight to Detroit.

I wish I got a big, big pay raise.

 

[mc_eric]

Granted. Straight to Detroit.

I wish I got a big, big pay raise.

Granted. Your new job is in Detroit.

I wish I had a perfectly cooked steak with mashed potatoes in front of me right now.

 

[dunnright00]

Here is your steak and potatoes...

..served in a dirty ashtray!


I wish my wife loved me again...

 

[Vuarra]

I wish my wife loved me again...

Wish granted! But you're pushing up daisies.

I wish people would leave me alone at work so I can do my job.

 

[dunnright00]

Granted. You've just been transfered to our Antarctica branch. We'll be back to pick you up in 6 months.

I wish I had a shiny new brew rig.

 

[jaycount]

Granted. You have a shiny new brew rig that is so shiny it blinds you when you get within 5 miles of it.

I wish I was the world's most interesting man.

 

[mc_eric]

Granted. The only beer you ever drink is Dos Equis.

I wish I had something better to do right now.

 

[sudsmcgee]

Granted, but beastiality is illegal in MI.

I wish I could go from grain to glass in 4 hours.

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

Granted! From now on, you will only be able to eat your grain, and drink your pee.

I wish all my wishes came true.

 

[jaycount]

Granted, you are stuck in a recursive loop of wish granting/receiving and have no time to brew, use the restroom, drink beer, or make sex since you are constantly traveling from one dimension to another.

I wish finals were over.

 

[TXCrash]

Granted. Finals are over. You fail. Enjoy McDonalds management class.

I wish I had a beautiful girl with big beautiful breasts here willing to do whatever I ask....