Your name must be Willis. Cause I dunno whatchu talkin' bout.
Ah, but young Webster, you fail to see the totality of your undertaking. Let me break down the facts and compare the totals so you may be enlightened.
Bottling
First, I wrestle the fermenter to the kitchen, gently stir in priming sugar and hump it up on the counter. OK, that was work. Good excuse to open a brew. Effort level: heavy. Time: 2 min. This step is also required for kegging.
Whenever I pour a brew, I rinse the bottle with hot water and store it upside down in a Fast Rack. All I have to do before bottling is put about a cup of Star San in the Vinrator and give each bottle a few squirts. Count out caps and dump them in the basin. Effort level: slim to none. Time: 10 min
Remove and clean collection ball, sanitize and attach bottling attachment. Effort level: slim to none. Time: 5 min
Fill bottles, place cap on top, stage bottles on counter top. Effort level: slim to none. Time: 15 min
Crimp caps, put bottles in empty beer case, store in closet. Effort level: easy. Time 10 min
There are only 2 possible mishaps that are inherent to bottle conditioning, over carbonation resulting in a gusher or bottle bomb, or under carbonation. The latter is remedied by re-capping and waiting (possible addition of sugar and/or yeast) or just using that bottle for cooking. I usually open over or near a sink, so gushers are not a problem. Bottle bombs occur in the case, so rinsing the remaining bottles and putting them in a fresh case is in order. Both of these are rare occurrences, and only a minor inconvenience.
Kegging
First you have to clean out a keg. Because of their size, this is best done outside with a hose. Usual procedure is to give it a good spray, dump, then fill partially, add detergent, roll up sleeve and reach in with preferred dishwashing media and scrub yeast and beer sediment, paying close attention to seams, dip tube, posts and poppets. Then you have to fetch your CO2 tank and regulator set up to pump detergent through the lines and connectors to clean. Dump dirty detergent, rinse, partially fill with rinse water, and hook back to CO2 to rinse lines. To sanitize partially fill with Star San, shake, swirl, and invert to get entire interior surface in contact, or if you dont mind the extra sanitizer, fill to the top. Connect to CO2 once again to sanitize lines and poppets. This whole process involves bending, reaching, lifting, shaking, swirling and dumping. Effort level: medium to hard. Time: 15 min. If this process has to be performed indoors using a laundry or bath tub, tack on an additional 5 min or so and up the effort level a notch.
If the keg has not been use for a while, you will have to disassemble the poppets, remove the dip tubes and deep clean them. This is regular maintenance that should be performed every 6 months or 3-4 batches. Anal brewers do it every fill. Dont forget to get a supply of O- rings and seals because they will need to be replaced. Effort level: moderate. Time: Better set aside a half hour the first time, 20 min each thereafter.
Then you can siphon your beer in, purge, and put in your kegerator. If you have the patients, you can hook up your CO2 to the prescribed PSI and wait a few days to carbonate, or you can cool, and then force carb. Force carbing effort level: easy to moderate. Time: 15 min.
The real fun is factoring in all the possible mishaps that can AND WILL happen at any time. First up-
Running out of CO2. Nothing is worse than looking forward to drawing the first pint of a new recipe that had shown so much promise of excellence during the brewing stages only to find that nothing will come out of the keg. I dont care how carefully you check for leaks, as things cool seals and O rings will fail, connections will loosen, gauges will give false readings. This will prompt a trip to the welding supply shop for a fresh fill, and investing in a spare CO2 tank so it wont happen again. 5# tank- $55 Fill- $15-$20. Time: could be hours depending on where you live.
Whats worse than running out of CO2? Having an equipment failure spew copious amounts of you hard earned labor all over your kegerator, walls, floor, ceiling, or face. This usually happens with thick syrupy oatmeal stouts. Effort level can range from wiping your face and a good laugh to a catastrophic ordeal.
Add beer guns and counter flow fillers into the equation and your cleaning/ sanitation time increases, as well as multiplying the chance of a mishap. The fact that user of such devices are consuming alcohol puts fuel to the fire.
So, bottling takes about 40 min of minimal effort. I leisurely perform the task during the mash/boil while listening to music or watching a game. Its not like I have to devote more time to brewing because I bottle. Results are consistent and predictable and any mishap can be easily rectified. Bottles are free, a fraction of cleaning and sanitizing chemicals are used and priming sugar costs me less than $.50 a batch.
Kegging can be done in 15-30 min, but is much more labor intensive. Count on spending 30- 45 min every 3-4 brews to deep clean. Count on trips to the shop to fill CO2 at $20 a pop. Count on unexpected equipment failures that could range from a relatively minor inconvenience to a catastrophic loss. Add up all the time and effort that you put forth over a year because you read that kegging is easier than bottling and saves time and you will see it just is not true. Im not even going to mention that you will end up dropping $300-500 just to get you going. Well, I guess I just did.
Dont feel bad, I fell for it too. I also believed the guy that told me that I should tie my own flies because its a lot cheaper 