The stupidest comment on your beer

[justineaton]

I had a similar experience with my MIL. She is a junk collector. Does a lot of garage sale-ing, and picks up odds and ends and stores the stuff in a two car garage. The garage is packed w/ junk. I was asked to move a dresser out of there and low & behold I see a glass 5 gal Alpine Water Bottle!!

I asked her what she was going to do with it, she says,

"Nothing, why do you want it?"

I'm like, "Yes!!"

She says "Tell me what you want it for first."

I say,"Beer making."

She goes on to tell tell me she doesn't know what was in it before and that I might get poisioned. I tell he that I will clean it first. That was OK with her. Now this bottle is on a decanting craddle hinged and all. It has a screw on cap to boot. Its pretty nice score for $0.00

2 hours later.....

She comes in to the house and tells me, "I don't think you really need it."

I'm like, "What???"

She goes, "Once you open it you'll have to drink all of that beer or it will go flat!!!! You know I don't think you need to drink that much!!"

I'm busting up on the floor laughing. I explain that it will be a fermentation vessel and that I promised not to drink out of it." Come to think of it that would a 645oz beer!

This total redefines the meaning, "I'm only gonna have one!!"

That's hilarious!

 

[unionrdr]

I can't believe she said that. That's friggin hilarious!

 

[troy2000]

I had dinner with some business partners at the Granite City Brewery when the waitress came by for drink orders.

Larry: I'll have a Coors Light.
Waitress: We don't sell commercial beers. We only sell what we make.
Larry: What do you have that tastes like Coors Light?
Waitress: Water.

I think she brought him a Pale Ale or something. Then Larry asked for a glass of ice and poured the beer over ice. Larry's a pig. I cant take him anywhere.

I've been known to pour BMC over ice on a hot summer day; it beats drinking ice water or bad lemonade. It's a habit I picked up In Olongapo City forty+ years ago - when many of the sailor bars had no A/C, and a beer could hit body temp in a few minutes.

Dang.... I'm dating myself.

 

[troy2000]

I gave my mom one of Edwort's Apfelweins... needless to say she didn't like it all too much.

"This tastes too much like beer!!! ? WTF?


I thinking, OK- No big deal. About 20 seconds later...(still in my head, when is the last time you tasted beer?) She doesn't really drink, wine during the holidays. That's about it.

My wife likes alcopops (and anything with Bailey's in it). A few months ago I made her a mint julep, and spared nothing: fresh spearmint leaves muddled in sugar instead of mint syrup; Maker's Mark bourbon (probably the 'smoothest' bourbon around, which is why I don't drink it); a tall old-fashioned glass straight from the freezer; ice crushed almost to Slushy consistency; Fiji Natural Artesian Water.

Her response? "It's not bad, but I can still taste the whiskey. :smack:

 

[NateLTB]

2nd time he has called me making beer in my front yard. He also dumped my peace offering beers in front of me. As well as calling "code enforcement" because my boat and trailer were on my driveway and not on the side of the house(trailer tongue has to be behind forward most facing wall of house) Only enforced "IF" someone complains. So I may be a bit jaded. He has since tried to petition my other neighbors to make it illegal to make alcohol in our area(lucky were not in a HOA) I heard that he only got 2 signatures out of the 36 homes in our subdivision

Your neighbor is just an a-hole. Dumping your peace offering beers is about the most a-hole thing I can think of anybody doing. F that guy.

 

[Goofynewfie]

Your neighbor is just an a-hole. Dumping your peace offering beers is about the most a-hole thing I can think of anybody doing. F that guy.

+1
He can decline the beer without being an asshol e

 

[troy2000]

I've been sitting on this one for a week. My friend George is a heavy drinker - of light beer. Ever since he found out I was planning to make beer, he's been asking questions like, 'do you make it in a bath tub?' 'Won't that **** kill you if you screw it up?' 'Is it going to taste like real beer?' And inevitably back to, 'is homemade beer safe to drink? Won't it make you sick?'

So I made something resembling a saison (I hope) last weekend: two gallons from a Mr. Beer seasonal saison HME, two gallons AG, combined them and pitched Belle Saison yeast. George dropped by while I was in the middle of boiling the AG wort. 'So you're actually doing it, huh?' I said I had just finished mashing the AG portion and tried to explain what that meant, and he nodded at the pot... 'so what's that? You cooking up a batch of beans, too?'

He looked a little dubious when I told him it's the stuff that'll turn into beer.

 

[mattd2]

Not stupid but funny.
Had a work homebrew party last night, 5 brewers. One of my work mates was talking to another mate about one of my beers, as a joke he was telling him he was going tell me my beer tasted like crap and the one he was drinking tastes 100X better... until the other mate told him the one he was drinking was mine too!

 

[brewmcq]

I growlered up a gallon of my Blonde Ale for my dad this past weekend while we were at camp. I'm not sure what I did to it.. I think I underpitched it because my ferment temps are awesome, and it tastes like eating banana bread to me.

Regardless, I poured him a small glass of it. He took a sip and his whole face lit up. "This is the same beer you brewed before, right?" "The blonde.. yup. You liked it last time, so I figured you might enjoy it again." He took a big swig of it and said...

"This tastes like regular beer!"

I looked at him, feigning a hurt look on my face.. and that's when he started backtracking.. "No, I meant it's not too dark, and it has a lot of flavor... and... it's really sweet.. and.. and..."

I gave him quarter at that point and told him he was fine, and I'm glad he liked it because I brought a gallon of it.

Which was gone Saturday night.

 

[grainbill]

Did you make this?

 

[Grimster]

Did you make this?

I usually take this as more of a compliment than anything. Implying that it's as good as "bought" beer.

 

[EdMerican]

Gave a guy at a friends house a glass of my octoberfest (22 ibu). He holds it up to the light,looks intently at it and says "oh that looks really nice." He then smells deeply and says "oh, that smells hoppy" Sips. Swishes. Another sip. "Wow. VERY hoppy. I like it" I didn't feel like taking the time to explain it to him and didn't feel like making him feel stupid considering he just gave me a glass of Johnny Walker double black. I do wish I had an imperial ipa or barley wine to show him what hoppy really is.

 

[day_trippr]

Sadly, considering the american light lager he likely prefers runs between 5 to 10 IBU, that probably was pretty hoppy to him...

Cheers!

 

[cwyeary]

I sometimes think people are confusing the malt flavor with hops. Often people will say someone had a porter/stout and said it was "hoppy".

 

[emjay]

I sometimes think people are confusing the malt flavor with hops. Often people will say someone had a porter/stout and said it was "hoppy".

I think in that particular instance it's more often that they know/have heard that hops make beer bitter, and are confusing the acridity (ie "burnt-ness") and/or astringency imparted by roasted malts and grains for hop bitterness.

Even people on HBT who otherwise know a great deal about beer frequently seem to label burnt/acrid and especially (and more peculiarly) astringent as simply "bitter" tastes - even though astringency in particular isn't even a taste/flavor at all (let alone a bitter one!) but rather a mouthfeel; while the burnt/roasted quality that is often labeled "acrid" definitely conveys a certain bitterness, albeit one that is noticeably and significantly different from that of iso-hop bitterness).

 

[Grannyknot]

Not long ago, I had a bunch of random leftover grain and hops. Was bored one Saturday morning and threw it all in the mash-tun at 152*. Did a 90 minute boil, added hops like crazy, probably close to 200 calculated IBUs. Dry hopped with 5 oz of random hops. My starter wasn't big enough. Wildly underpitched.

Anyway, it had all the makings of a terrible beer. Massive Diacetyl taste. Mouth puckering bitterness. So boozy is tasted like there was a shot of vodka in it. Barely carbonated to ~1 volumes CO2 due to the yeast that had been beaten down. It wasn't undrinkable, but it was definitely one of the worst beers I'd made.

So I have this friend who regularly keeps his fridge stocked with the most expensive IPAs. Considers himself an IPA expert. Always has the newest seasonal & small batch IPA releases. So I gave him a couple of bombers of this beer. He loved it. Said it was one of the best beers I had made. Not sure it was a "stupid" comment, but definitely made me re-consider his self proclaimed status as an ipa expert.

 

[jro238]

Not long ago, I had a bunch of random leftover grain and hops. Was bored one Saturday morning and threw it all in the mash-tun at 152*. Did a 90 minute boil, added hops like crazy, probably close to 200 calculated IBUs. Dry hopped with 5 oz of random hops. My starter wasn't big enough. Wildly underpitched.

Anyway, it had all the makings of a terrible beer. Massive Diacetyl taste. Mouth puckering bitterness. So boozy is tasted like there was a shot of vodka in it. Barely carbonated to ~1 volumes CO2 due to the yeast that had been beaten down. It wasn't undrinkable, but it was definitely one of the worst beers I'd made.

So I have this friend who regularly keeps his fridge stocked with the most expensive IPAs. Considers himself an IPA expert. Always has the newest seasonal & small batch IPA releases. So I gave him a couple of bombers of this beer. He loved it. Said it was one of the best beers I had made. Not sure it was a "stupid" comment, but definitely made me re-consider his self proclaimed status as an ipa expert.

I think in this case 'ipa expert' just means someone who likes having their face melt off whenever they sip their beer

 

[BeastMaster]

My neighbor came over and had a few samples the other night when we were brewing. He was pretty clueless about the whole process and hobby, but interested. He asked a lot of reasonable questions and wants to come over the next time from start to finish to see it all. The funny thing was he tried all the beers I have on tap; an imperial [email protected]%, a farmhouse ale at 8%, and a spiced apple cider at 4.5%. He really liked the cider but he was afraid it would get him too drunk and his wife would be upset, so he just had 3 pints of the stout instead... lol.

 

[BeastMaster]

A few guys at work automatically assume that because I brew beer and have a kegerator I'm a raging alcoholic. I tried to explain that my bourbon habit was to blame for that, but they wouldnt listen.

 

[BeastMaster]

The MIL still doesnt get it, she knows I like beer and asks the wife why I dont just buy beer and that it cant be worth the money I save to brew it myself, if she only knew how much money I dont save...

 

[Hello]

Person who drank it: "it's too bitter." IBU was 20. No lie.
Person who saw me brewing and was offered my last beer: "all homebrew I've tried was terrible. I can't imagine this would be different."

 

[n240sxguy]

Person who drank it: "it's too bitter." IBU was 20. No lie. Person who saw me brewing and was offered my last beer: "all homebrew I've tried was terrible. I can't imagine this would be different."

Well F off then buddy. You're not trying mine you ungrateful POS!

 

[Hello]

Well F off then buddy. You're not trying mine you ungrateful POS!

Funny his sister in law came by while I was brewing the next time and asked about the beer. I offered her the same amber I was offering him and said loved it. In fact, her husband said she drank one of the two I gave her and was feeling drunk. It was 5.25% ABV but of course, I don't expect everyone to have my irish tolerance. She enjoyed it and I feel like since she made a point to come over and thank me, give me a candle as a token of her appreciation, and tell me twice that she enjoyed it, that she genuinely liked it. That guy just seems oddly difficult and doomsday. I told him, I have a single bottle of amber waiting for him when he feels like he is ready to try some "crappy" beer.


The bitterness thing I took to heart just enough to brew another amber but cut the bitterness from 20 to 15. I did that because I really would like to brew something someone likes even if it is not what I totally want.

 

[troy2000]

Every time someone at work asks how my brewing is coming along, one of my coworkers pops up with the same thing: 'Man, I don't have the patience for that. When I want a beer, I want one now - not a month from now.'

I keep telling him I'm allowed to buy all the beer I want while mine's making, but it does no good. We've repeated the exchange so many times I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck in a sequel to Groundhog Day...

 

[roger617]

The most common response I get is 'it tastes like beer!'

Still not sure why that is a surprise to everyone...

 

[Grimster]

The most common response I get is 'it tastes like beer!'

Still not sure why that is a surprise to everyone...

Well my first exposure to homebrew were my parents' failed attempts at making beer when I was a kid, looking back they made so many mistakes, open fermentation, stirring the wort during the fermentation process, bottling by basically pouring the beer into the bottle with a funnel. It's no wonder their homebrew tasted like crap.

So when my brother in law got into brewing and brought a 6 pack of various beers over for me to try I was a bit worried, so when he popped open that first nut brown ale and poured me a glass, I think my first response was along the lines of "hey this tastes pretty good" meaning "hey this tastes like beer is supposed to".

Now, several years later, I can say that some of the best beer I've had has been homebrewed beer. Heck the tripel I'm drinking right now is hands down one of the best beers I've ever had.

 

[h-bar]

When I told my neighbor I that I home brew, she asked if I brewed it in the bathtub.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

"Can I have another?"
hells no, suckaduck! this is my beer! brew your own, Capt. Gristle Shorts!

 

[brewski09]

"Can I have another?"
hells no, suckaduck! this is my beer! brew your own, Capt. Gristle Shorts!

I just call that stingy. It's usually a compliment when people ask for another one. Just sayin'

 

[beaksnbeer]

"Can I have another?"
hells no, suckaduck! this is my beer! brew your own, Capt. Gristle Shorts!

Thats cuz Billy don't drink well wit others(maybe udders)

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I just call that stingy. It's usually a compliment when people ask for another one. Just sayin'

my sarcasm runs super deep, yo. it's like Dr. Venkman's dirty laundry: there are many subtle levels. just sayin'

Thats cuz Billy don't drink well wit others(maybe udders)

I drink well with others until they try to drink my beer, talk near me, or look in any general direction.:rockin:

 

[beaksnbeer]

my sarcasm runs super deep, yo. it's like Dr. Venkman's dirty laundry: there are many subtle levels. just sayin' I drink well with others until they try to drink my beer, talk near me, or look in any general direction.:rockin:

If you ever get down this way you can drink till your attitude gets better

 

[Billy-Klubb]

If you ever get down this way you can drink till your attitude gets better

View attachment 162629

it's already much better!:rockin:

 

[day_trippr]

If you ever get down this way you can drink till your attitude gets better
View attachment 162629

Can never get enough of that pic...

Cheers!

 

[SupervisingChildren]

If you ever get down this way you can drink till your attitude gets better

Soooooo jealous, but too many options for me hahaha. I'd just stare and drool haha

 

[thadius856]

Handed a Texan a Two-Hearted clone:

Tex: "Eh... it's good, but I wish it had more... flavor."
Me: "Such as...?"
Tex: "Shiner Bock."
Me: *blank stare*


Wife had a going-away with like 8 people over from work. Freshly 21 y/o lightweight girl grabs a glass, pulls a full pint of Skeeter Pee off the tap. Takes a first sip, mouth puckers, eyes squint... proclaims "wow, is this 80 proof?" Finishes the rest of the pint in under 5 minutes. Had to watch her like a hawk the rest of the night to keep the drunk boys at bay and guard the sanctity of my guest bedroom.

 

[splattsmier]

Handed a Texan a Two-Hearted clone:

Tex: "Eh... it's good, but I wish it had more... flavor."
Me: "Such as...?"
Tex: "Shiner Bock."
Me: *blank stare*

Wife had a going-away with like 8 people over from work. Freshly 21 y/o lightweight girl grabs a glass, pulls a full pint of Skeeter Pee off the tap. Takes a first sip, mouth puckers, eyes squint... proclaims "wow, is this 80 proof?" Finishes the rest of the pint in under 5 minutes. Had to watch her like a hawk the rest of the night to keep the drunk boys at bay and guard the sanctity of my guest bedroom.

Hey now, Texas is far from the only state with ignorant beer "aficionados". That's a nationwide problem.

 

[thadius856]

Hey now, Texas is far from the only state with ignorant beer "aficionados". That's a nationwide problem.

Pointing out Texans wasn't my purpose.

The reason it was funny to be is because Two-Hearted tastes like you just brushed your teeth with a pound of hops, then gargled with a shot of vodka and a handful of fresh flowers. It's one of the furthest beers from "tasteless" that I can imagine.

Ruination is pretty high up there, though.

 

[m3n00b]

Today, my buddy taking a sip of my iipa:


"Eww I can taste the hops."


Wahhhhh! Cry more sissy boy.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Today, my buddy taking a sip of my iipa:


"Eww I can taste the hops."


Wahhhhh! Cry more sissy boy.

did you tell him, "Harden the flocc up!" then punch him in the berries?