The stupidest comment on your beer

[The_Dog_42]

That ones pretty tame. Mine look like the surface of the moon. My pellicle would kick your pellicles a**

I bow to your superior pellicle forming abilities. Especially because I stole the first random picture I saw from the pellicle thread. I gagged too much trying to find a "good" one.

Back on topic, we were at a party and I made an AHS scottish ale. 5 gallons gone on 4 hours, almost everyone raving about the beer for the next week. First thing SWMBO says when we get home: "Did you think that beer was as good as everyone says?"
"Not really"
"Yeah, me either. I guess if you start a brewery you could use that beer as a BMC substitute." (We both picked up a slight astringency)

Compliment or complaint, I'm still trying to decide...either way I actually think she may be right...

 

[bottlebomber]

Maybe a Lambic?

 

[Obliviousbrew]

This happend to me yesterday: I invited a buddy for a brew day, we had and lunch and went trough a lot of different brews that I have, he was excited and he did like my brews but when whe chilled the wort and pitch the yeast I said: "Well now he just have to wait" and he says to me: "What is that not ready yet?! Whe been working for 5 hours!!" He tought that making beer was a one day thing. My fault really for explaining things step by step, (never mentioned nothing about fermentation until that time). Anyway I think that was pretty funny. The beer is named "The one day wonder" in his honour.

 

[gcdowd]

This happend to me yesterday: I invited a buddy for a brew day, we had and lunch and went trough a lot of different brews that I have, he was excited and he did like my brews but when whe chilled the wort and pitch the yeast I said: "Well now he just have to wait" and he says to me: "What is that not ready yet?! Whe been working for 5 hours!!" He tought that making beer was a one day thing. My fault really for explaining things step by step, (never mentioned nothing about fermentation until that time). Anyway I think that was pretty funny. The beer is named "The one day wonder" in his honour.

Haha, that's awesome.

How does the alcohol get into the beer? I thought you just put vodka in it

 

[Tiber_Brew]

It's a natural progression of questions that leads to their fear. I've heard a conversation go something like this:

"What kind of beer is this? I really like it."
"Its a "insert type" sour."
"What makes it "sour"?
"Well, I kinda ferment it like a typical beer and then intentionally infect it with something called brettonmyces and also with some lactobaccilis. It's hard to explain. Here, let me show you a couple of pics of what it looked like while it was fermenting and I'll explain what was going on at that time."
"AAAAAHHHH! You let me drink that?!"

My bold.

You really think that's the best way to describe the process to a newbie? "Infect" isn't wrong here of course, but there are better, less scary, terms that you can use to describe the fermentation process of a sour. That's probably why, in part, that you get reactions like you do.

 

[Obliviousbrew]

Yup when you decide what goes in your wort you are not infecting you are inoculating.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Could you accurately replace the word "infect" with "inocculate"?

Edit: Oblivious beat me to it.

 

[Whattawort]

You all know how excited we can get when people want to actually talk to us about brewing. Common vernacular tends to preside when the conversations take place. Besides, "infect" is a lot easier to say when inebriated. Sometimes it's fun when to scare the uninitiated too.

 

[Tiber_Brew]

You all know how excited we can get when people want to actually talk to us about brewing. Common vernacular tends to preside when the conversations take place. Besides, "infect" is a lot easier to say when inebriated. Sometimes it's fun when to scare the uninitiated too.

Fair enough, but logging their reaction to your mention of the word "infect" in the "stupidest comment" thread isn't fair to that person if you're intentionally pulling for such a reaction.

 

[Obliviousbrew]

Fair enough, but logging their reaction to your mention of the word "infect" in the "stupidest comment" thread isn't fair to that person if you're intentionally pulling for such a reaction.

Agreed same thing if you tell people that the yeast will eat sugar and crap alcohol and fart co2, doesn´t sound very appelling to me to try a beverage that is mostly crap and farts.

 

[Whattawort]

Fair enough, but logging their reaction to your mention of the word "infect" in the "stupidest comment" thread isn't fair to that person if you're intentionally pulling for such a reaction.

Well, there goes the fun. I'll go look for a "funny reaction to your beer" thread.

 

[Tiber_Brew]

Well, there goes the fun. I'll go look for a "funny reaction to your beer" thread.

Or just keep it to yourself if it's not actually a stupid comment. Just a thought. Otherwise, expect criticism.

 

[Wirk]

I gave one of my beers to my cousin, a saison(IBU 28, 6.8% ABV). He told me that it was too bitter and it didn't taste like a supermarket beer then he asked me for the ABV. When I replied that 6.8% he concluded that "Oh that's why it was so bitter, normal beers have like 5%".

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I gave one of my beers to my cousin, a saison(IBU 28, 6.8% ABV). He told me that it was too bitter and it didn't taste like a supermarket beer then he asked me for the ABV. When I replied that 6.8% he concluded that "Oh that's why it was so bitter, normal beers have like 5%".

By that logic White Lightening would be the most bitter beverage known to man.

Edit... well AMONGST the most bitter.

 

[MeatyPortion]

My BiL constantly dogs my beer so yesterday I beat the crap out of him with my wort chiller while screaming LACES OUT, DAN (he's a football coach). true story.

 

[H-ost]

My BiL constantly dogs my beer so yesterday I beat the crap out of him with my wort chiller

Comedy right there :cross:

 

[gcdowd]

My BiL constantly dogs my beer so yesterday I beat the crap out of him with my wort chiller while screaming LACES OUT, DAN (he's a football coach). true story.

I'm looking for Ray Finkle....and a clean pair of shorts.

 

[bottlebomber]

My BiL constantly dogs my beer so yesterday I beat the crap out of him with my wort chiller while screaming LACES OUT, DAN (he's a football coach). true story.

IC or plate?

 

[Sshamash]

Girl: "Oh my god! You brew beer? Can I try one?"
Me: "Sure, I have a few wits left, you like that?"
Girl "Is that like a Corona or a Guinness? I like Guinness"
Me:"Ummm, Hogarden? But a little lighter and dryer"
Girl:"o, I dont know, I'll try it."
*Give her a beer
Girl:"This tastes like copper, and makes me want to hock a louggie"
*Until this point she was cute
Me:"Wow, never got that one before...I've actually got only good reviews on this one".
Girl:"I'm a Guinness girl".
Me:"Try this brown ale...its more like a Guinness."
Girl:"This one is good. It tastes like steel."
Me:"Why do you taste different types of metal?"

 

[paulster2626]

The Jehovas stopped by on Saturday as I was cleaning out the mash tun. "is that rice?" nope, it's spent grain from making beer. "you make beer?!!" yup. "does it taste like actual beer?" better!

I was wondering why they cared - can't they not drink any booze or coffee? Or is that mormons? I dunno...

We then had a long healthy talk about judgement day and what will become of my heathen arse. Actually never did get a straight answer, but they were a pretty friendly couple o' gals. A lady and her daughter. They're coming back to talk another day. I'm going to bang the daughter.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

The little I know of JW is that when we die that is it for good long while. Blank, nothing. Then Judgement Day comes and the believers reanimate along with the righteous who were still living at the time to live forever in a Utopian earth.

I dont believe there are any dietary restrictions, but I could be wrong.

 

[duckredbeard]

The Jehovas stopped by on Saturday...A lady and her daughter. They're coming back to talk another day. I'm going to bang the daughter.

We expect a follow-up on the "what I did for beer today" thread.

 

[paulster2626]

The little I know of JW is that when we die that is it for good long while. Blank, nothing. Then Judgement Day comes and the believers reanimate along with the righteous who were still living at the time to live forever in a Utopian earth.

I dont believe there are any dietary restrictions, but I could be wrong.

Well they did give me some reading material that I promised to peruse while on the ****ter, but the latest BYO mag arrived and that supersedes any religious documents.

 

[bottlebomber]

They're coming back to talk another day. I'm going to bang the daughter.

Notice how we gave you the one on respecting woman as well?

 

[Wirk]

JWs can drink alcohol, but they only can do it in moderation.

 

[emjay]

JWs can drink alcohol, but they only can do it in moderation.

Who defines moderation? Other than Buddha, of course.

 

[Wirk]

Who defines moderation? Other than Buddha, of course.

I have no clue, I only know that because I know a JW.

 

[bottlebomber]

Who defines moderation? Other than Buddha, of course.

Usually you do, if your facilities are working properly. If someone else needs to moderate your habits for you you probably shouldn't be doing (it) at all.

 

[emjay]

Usually you do, if your facilities are working properly. If someone else needs to moderate your habits for you you probably shouldn't be doing (it) at all.

Odd... I have similar feelings about morality.

 

[bottlebomber]

Odd... I have similar feelings about morality.

As do I. A healthy conscience naturally dictates a proper course of morality.

 

[cfonnes]

Me:"Try this brown ale...its more like a Guinness."
Girl:"This one is good. It tastes like steel."
Me:"Why do you taste different types of metal?"

Piercings?

 

[mattd2]

...but the latest BYO mag arrived and that supersedes any religious documents.

Wait... I thought BYO was a religious document

 

[specialkaye]

We then had a long healthy talk about judgement day and what will become of my heathen arse. Actually never did get a straight answer, but they were a pretty friendly couple o' gals. A lady and her daughter. They're coming back to talk another day. I'm going to bang the daughter.

That's awesome. Only pictures prove it happened. Okay, so I just want pictures....

 

[barnhs]

I read this thread, and had SO many flashback moments. The funny thing is, i don't think most people are stupid, they're just uneducated. When I talk to them, I'm speaking at a much higher level than they can understand. And so the say things to try and show that they know what I'm talking about. Even though the don't.

I like to picture them as Homer Simpson. All the words I use come our like gibberish, until he hears me say "hoppy". From that point they stop listening, and the conversation in their head is "hoppy. That's a funny word. Kinda fun to say. Hoppy! Rabbits hop. Hoppy! I'll remember this one".

From that point forward, it's their fail safe word. how do you like my IPA? "I like my beers hoppy". Etc.

 

[kkramer56]

One of SWMBO's friends said "Hey, this tastes like real beer"

To a single homebrewer, this is second date material.

 

[JohnnyO]

Girl: "Oh my god! You brew beer? Can I try one?"
Me: "Sure, I have a few wits left, you like that?"
Girl "Is that like a Corona or a Guinness? I like Guinness"
Me:"Ummm, Hogarden? But a little lighter and dryer"
Girl:"o, I dont know, I'll try it."
*Give her a beer
Girl:"This tastes like copper, and makes me want to hock a louggie"
*Until this point she was cute
Me:"Wow, never got that one before...I've actually got only good reviews on this one".
Girl:"I'm a Guinness girl".
Me:"Try this brown ale...its more like a Guinness."
Girl:"This one is good. It tastes like steel."
Me:"Why do you taste different types of metal?"

Maybe she makes herself busy sucking off trailer hitches.

Who defines moderation? Other than Buddha, of course.

I thought that would be Tx, Yooper and Shecky?

 

[barnhs]

New beer idea. Manganese Ale. It's a transitional metal beer...

 

[gdwolfe273]

I brought an American IPA that I brewed to a friends house. He tried it and thought it was pretty good. He then had another friend try it (I didn't know this other guy very well). When this other guy tried it (remember this is an American IPA) he stated, "Mmmm this is pretty good. Tastes kind of like a blue moon. You can really taste the oats in it."

It was an excellent, hoppy smelling/tasting IPA that tasted NOTHING like a wheat beer. It took a lot for me to not say WTF?!??

 

[DisturbdChemist]

I have one I just remembered. This is before I started brewing and in college. Me and a few friends were at a bar and grill drinking a few pints before off to the next class. During, one of the guys looks at his glass and says "How can the glass let in air but not let the liquid out?". I was dumbfounded because he was talking about the carbonation. I had to explain to him that it was the carbon dioxide in the beer coming out of solution. This isnt just ignorance on beer itself just retarded.

 

[gcdowd]

I have one I just remembered. This is before I started brewing and in college. Me and a few friends were at a bar and grill drinking a few pints before off to the next class. During, one of the guys looks at his glass and says "How can the glass let in air but not let the liquid out?". I was dumbfounded because he was talking about the carbonation. I had to explain to him that it was the carbon dioxide in the beer coming out of solution. This isnt just ignorance on beer itself just retarded.

Wow...just wow.