The God#%!$ Cops Thread

[buffalobrewer]

I swear most of the police blotter items start with "officer so and so noticed an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror and pulled the suspect over." Haven't used one of them in years.

 

[jkreuze]

When you get pulled over you just ease it over, turn off the car, put your hands on the wheel and wait. Fidgety people make police nervous, with good reason. I've been cut slack on multiple occasions. I imagine being a police officer is like working the phones--you deal with a lot of people all the time, and the cool, nice people get extra-special treatment, and the dickheads get the other end of the mash paddle.

I would relate one of my more humorous (in retrospect) encounters with Johnny Law from deep in my youth but I'd rather not have it recounted in hardcopy during my lifetime. You'll have to wait for the memoirs.

 

[ronaldo_fanbelt]

I have had good and bad experiences with the police. I have been stopped for speeding, racing, and illegal car modifications. I have dealt with a wide variety of police officers and some of them can be pretty cool about everything. Everytime I get a big fat ticket, I think about the times they reduced my ticket or let me go with a warning.

 

[JeepDiver]

Minor finder bender with young punk (stopped on a yellow and I bumped him from behind). There was only a minor dent in his bumper and no damage to the jeep. He was all no problem man so I go home and have a few Very stiff drinks to calm the nervers. 2 hours later knock at the door asking me to step outside (whiskey and coke in hand when I open the door). Cop says guy says I hit him and took off and he got my tag. He says he smells alcohol on my breath, and ask if I will do a field sobriety test. I say (stupidly) sure, but I won't pass, been drinking for two hours.

Cop handcuffs me and ask to see my jeep. Show it to him in the garage, and he sees dead bugs next to the bumber stop and says looks like Paint transfer. I beg him to take a picture.

Several thousand dollars and months later, plus suspended licence for refusal of breath test, Judge tells cop in court he is very lucky if I don't sue him for 4th admendment violations.

I will admit before that I drove after drinking way more times than I should, but still have a bad taste for cops with napolean complexes.

 

[izatt82]

While it was an inconvenience for you, it was 4am, only a small fraction of people who are out at this time are not committing a crime. ticket.

you are kidding right? I used to work nights and i got freaking pulled over all the time going home. After about 5 of those you start getting pissed off that they are wasting your time.

 

[izatt82]

Minor finder bender with young punk (stopped on a yellow and I bumped him from behind). There was only a minor dent in his bumper and no damage to the jeep. He was all no problem man so I go home and have a few Very stiff drinks to calm the nervers. 2 hours later knock at the door asking me to step outside (whiskey and coke in hand when I open the door). Cop says guy says I hit him and took off and he got my tag. He says he smells alcohol on my breath, and ask if I will do a field sobriety test. I say (stupidly) sure, but I won't pass, been drinking for two hours.

Cop handcuffs me and ask to see my jeep. Show it to him in the garage, and he sees dead bugs next to the bumber stop and says looks like Paint transfer. I beg him to take a picture.

Several thousand dollars and months later, plus suspended licence for refusal of breath test, Judge tells cop in court he is very lucky if I don't sue him for 4th admendment violations.

I will admit before that I drove after drinking way more times than I should, but still have a bad taste for cops with napolean complexes.

if they came to my house i would have told them to go pound sand and come back with a warrant for my arrest. pisses me off just thinking about it.

 

[Airborneguy]

I imagine being a police officer is like working the phones--you deal with a lot of people all the time, and the cool, nice people get extra-special treatment, and the dickheads get the other end of the mash paddle.

Why can't more people realize this?

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

I imagine being a police officer is like working the phones--you deal with a lot of people all the time, and the cool, nice people get extra-special treatment, and the dickheads get the other end of the mash paddle.

Why can't more people realize this?

It doesn't always work like that.
I do, however, have one of those stories, from the times when you could still find cool people in South Florida.

One day, after a couple of months unemployed (and getting to a point where money was getting way too tight), I got a job at a DirecTV contractor, as a technician. After they did all the paperwork, and made me watch the most boring 2 hours of video in my whole life, the boss comes up with the news that, to be hired, I needed to own a van, a 6ft ladder, and a 14ft ladder, both fiberglass. So I talked to my soon to be supervisor (by far, the coolest guy I have ever met since I got to the US), and explained that I only had a Mazda Protege, and a 6ft wooden ladder. After chatting for a few minutes, he agreed to let me work anyway, under the promise that I'd never reschedule a job because of the lack of a ladder.
A couple of days later, driving my car with only the driver's seat, and full to the brim of tools and materials (and with no insurance, and the tag expired), I got pulled over. When the cop asked me for my license, registration and insurance, I gave him the license, and told him the truth about the rest. He went to his car, checked my license, came back, looked into my car, and said "I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Make sure you solve this problem ASAP. Drive carefully." And he let me go.
About 2 weeks later, exactly 2 days before I got my first check, I got pulled over again, in the same corner. When the cop came up to me, and I started telling him my story, I realized it was the same cop! So I told him, and he remembered me. I told him I was waiting to get my first paycheck that Friday, and "that was the reason I had doctored my tag, to avoid getting pulled over until I could take care of it". Of course, when I saw his face, I realized that was probably the dumbest thing to say in a situation like that.
So he said: "you doctored your tag? Where?"
We went to the back of he car, and I showed him: "here, you see? I was born in March, so I changed the "3" into an "8" in the sticker".
So he went: "You did that? How?'
And I answered: "with a sharpie".
Then he gave me my license back, and said: "Good job! This is the last time I let you go. Please take care of that problem. Drive carefully". And he let me go again.
Without a doubt, the coolest cop ever.

 

[kjung]

I imagine being a police officer is like working the phones--you deal with a lot of people all the time, and the cool, nice people get extra-special treatment, and the dickheads get the other end of the mash paddle.

I learned that early on. When I was a teen, we used to hang out on the corner, drinking and getting high. When the cops would show up, most of my friends would start giving them lip, and I simply responded to every statement and question with a "Yes, sir" and "No, sir." (Catholic school in the 60's and early 70's DEFINITELY taught me to respect authority! Or at least, how to fake it.)
EVERY time, I was asked where I lived. I told them, and I was told to go home. The next time I saw them, my friends would all be giving me crap about "kissing the pigs ass." My simple response was, "Who got to walk home, and who had to call their parents to come pick them up?"
I taught my kids that, and the couple of times my son has been stopped, he also has been polite to the LEO, and has never had to have me go get him.

 

[BBKing]

I had a horrible experience with a county mounty almost 4 years ago. Been smoking weed (couple hitters) and had 3 beers in about 2-2.5 hours. So of course he arrests me blah blah blah blah and I do the breathalyzer at the station, it was .06-something. Under 7 I do know that. When I get to court with my lawyer sometime later, the paper he filled out says I was right at .081. Really? Really?

I'm still ****ed cause of that Cop. Almost 4 years later and I'm still battling the state for my license back. Granted, a better lawyer would have helped, but I wouldnt be in the position I'm in if that cop was halfway honest.

But there have been some cool cops that let me off on some stuff, I will say that.

 

[Vance71975]

Looking back on it, the third guy with us was apparently a big weed head back then and we didn't know it. Had they searched the car I think they would have found some grass and we'd be off to the Pen. that would have sucked.

Nah By Ohio Law you would have to have a TRUNK FULL of Bricks of weed to pull jail time, it is a fine, not even a felony, much like a traffic ticket. This is the words of a City Police officer, not mine, so I would hope he knows the laws lol.

 

[mountainbrewdude]

Ok, Ive read this entire B.S. thread, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Heres a few questions, dhead cop this crooked cop that, what about the crooked overpaid DOCTORS that give out pain pill prescriptions like candy so some p.o.s. can support a habit, or some 55 yr old father of two can RUIN his life financially, morally and have NOTHING, not even his family. How about these crooked bankers embezzling money or cheating taxes, or his accountant for setting this up for him. How about athletes shooting up with steroids???? How about "salesmen" taking your money?? Is this stereotyping???? ONE bad person can make ANY profession seem bad!!!
Heres something else, "why did you pull me over for a broken tail light, not have anything better to do?" Instead you brake for a redlight, soccer mom with 3 toddlers doesnt see you, CRASH, 2 DEAD CHILDREN. Now you say "Why didnt you pull me over officer?"
Next You come home, all your belongings are stolen, and house a wreck, WHO you calling? Oh wait is that your wife with a flat tire in traffic, who comes? Or how about your business gets broken into, NO WAIT I GOT IT............ YOUR 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER GETS RAPED!!! NOW who do you call, you guessed it, the SAME dickhead who is supposedly harrasing you for your broken tail light!!!
Everyone needs to have some respect and and quit trying to ridicule the same person who helps YOU in a time of need, has a family, kid, mortgage, career, and pants on one leg at a time!
Oh and sorry for the rant, tender subject with me.

 

[KayaBrew]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wow. Just wow. I think you need a beer or seven.

 

[scrambledegg81]

Kaya, I don't think beer is enough to calm that fire--a few fifths of Johnny Walker Blue, some Tijuana hooker named Señora Sparkle, and a '68 drop-top Chevelle SS might do the trick.

Might.

 

[SwampassJ]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wow. Just wow. I think you need a beer or seven.

I think he's already had seven.

 

[Scruffy1207]

Ok, Ive read this entire B.S. thread, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Heres a few questions, dhead cop this crooked cop that, what about the crooked overpaid DOCTORS that give out pain pill prescriptions like candy so some p.o.s. can support a habit, or some 55 yr old father of two can RUIN his life financially, morally and have NOTHING, not even his family. How about these crooked bankers embezzling money or cheating taxes, or his accountant for setting this up for him. How about athletes shooting up with steroids???? How about "salesmen" taking your money?? Is this stereotyping???? ONE bad person can make ANY profession seem bad!!!
Heres something else, "why did you pull me over for a broken tail light, not have anything better to do?" Instead you brake for a redlight, soccer mom with 3 toddlers doesnt see you, CRASH, 2 DEAD CHILDREN. Now you say "Why didnt you pull me over officer?"
Next You come home, all your belongings are stolen, and house a wreck, WHO you calling? Oh wait is that your wife with a flat tire in traffic, who comes? Or how about your business gets broken into, NO WAIT I GOT IT............ YOUR 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER GETS RAPED!!! NOW who do you call, you guessed it, the SAME dickhead who is supposedly harrasing you for your broken tail light!!!
Everyone needs to have some respect and and quit trying to ridicule the same person who helps YOU in a time of need, has a family, kid, mortgage, career, and pants on one leg at a time!
Oh and sorry for the rant, tender subject with me.

Actually if my wife gets "flat tire in traffic" I come. Just sayin'. Also, RDWHAHB

 

[Airborneguy]

Please, don't figure that poster to be a cop. Usually it's crazy family members who talk like that. If you are, thanks a lot buddy

 

[izatt82]

Ok, Ive read this entire B.S. thread, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Heres a few questions, dhead cop this crooked cop that, what about the crooked overpaid DOCTORS that give out pain pill prescriptions like candy so some p.o.s. can support a habit, or some 55 yr old father of two can RUIN his life financially, morally and have NOTHING, not even his family. How about these crooked bankers embezzling money or cheating taxes, or his accountant for setting this up for him. How about athletes shooting up with steroids???? How about "salesmen" taking your money?? Is this stereotyping???? ONE bad person can make ANY profession seem bad!!!
Heres something else, "why did you pull me over for a broken tail light, not have anything better to do?" Instead you brake for a redlight, soccer mom with 3 toddlers doesnt see you, CRASH, 2 DEAD CHILDREN. Now you say "Why didnt you pull me over officer?"
Next You come home, all your belongings are stolen, and house a wreck, WHO you calling? Oh wait is that your wife with a flat tire in traffic, who comes? Or how about your business gets broken into, NO WAIT I GOT IT............ YOUR 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER GETS RAPED!!! NOW who do you call, you guessed it, the SAME dickhead who is supposedly harrasing you for your broken tail light!!!
Everyone needs to have some respect and and quit trying to ridicule the same person who helps YOU in a time of need, has a family, kid, mortgage, career, and pants on one leg at a time!
Oh and sorry for the rant, tender subject with me.

Hahahahahaa somebody needs to switch to decafe and sugar free donuts. Good lord man don't take it personal nobody was bashing everybody is just venting because of frustration.

 

[izatt82]

Also if you want to start a thread named: stupid people who pay my salary and then complain about my job performance. Go ahead no ones stopping you. You say have some respect, well then make sure that respect is earned from the tax payers. By the way not bashing all the cops on here I have a buddy who is a cop and he is a stand up guy. The problem is just like in every job there are dicks and they mess it up for everybody.

 

[brettwasbtd]

Have only been pulled over twice! For the exact opposite reasons...

STORY 1
I was 16 years old. Me and a few friends were driving back home in separate cars on a Saturday night from a church sponsored dance. At this time I was a very good kid and didn't drink or anything, neither did my friends. Well we are on a double lane highway and me and my buddy decided to drive right next to each other at 25mph (in a 35mph) to annoy other kids coming back from the dance. So a third friend sees that we are being jerks and when a left turn lane opens up, he illegally flies by and passes us. As we are coming up to another light and left turn lane, the car behind me flashes their high beams and then shortly after turns on their red and blue lights and passes me! Anyways, we keep driving and see that my friend who passed me is pulled over and the cop is standing in the middle of the road and flags me down (lets my cohort in slow driving keep going). Anyways, the officer questions us and had suspected that we were drunk or having road rage, but quickly realized we were just being stupid kids and that we knew each other. He let me go with a warning for "Driving too slow"

STORY 2
Happened this past winter. I was driving the fiance's place in Delaware. If you are familiar with the 301 and route 50 split in Maryland heading east, I was staying on 301 North. Anyways, I am in the left lane there is a tractor trailer in the right lane that I am about to start passing. I see a car coming up pretty fast in my rear-view mirror and see them get over in the right line thinking the will be able to squeeze between me and the truck. Well this car's front bumper gets about even with my back bumper, brakes a bit and slides in RIGHT behind me. So I'm like, ok, this person is clearly in a hurry, so I speed up about 10-12 MPH more than I was going. The car behind me stays right on me. The second I have enough room to get to the right, in front of the tractor trailor, I do. The car behind me stays RIGHT ON me here too! I have a second to think WTF in my head, and then the lights come on! I was thinking to myself "really?"

So the cop pulls me over and says "You sped up there and then got over and slowed down, why?" So I explained "I saw a car behind me going fast, you, so I sped up to pass the truck and let you by" He said "ok." Took my license and registration, came back with a my $90 ticket. Said I was free to go.... I put my stuff back and waited for him to pull out before I decided to drive off. Well he pulled out and literally lit someone else up within 300 yards! I know that the State Police office is about 5 miles down the road and he was probably headed back in, but still. I wasn't pleased with him basically pushing me to go faster.


Unfortunately I didnt keep my warning for driving too slow... maybe I could have showed that to the second officer and say that I was just trying to find a happy medium? Anyways, I have always been taught to be very polite to Officers and my best friend is in the Academy right now. I feel like if you do so, you should have positive experiences. Also, it depends on the county you are in whether you are gonna get stopped for stupid stuff or not. My buddy's county is REAL busy so he says most officer's don't do minor traffic stops.

 

[jsweet]

Wow, so you were drinking at work, and then broke the law by drinking and driving. Gotta say I'm on the cops side on this and most other issues. If you're gonna take the chance to risk another persons life, no matter how good of a driver you are, you'd better just buck up if you happen to get pulled over and quit your whining. I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones. They're out there every day doing a job to make this country a better place to live. Anyone who has a problem with cops has a problem with America and yadda yadda blah blah blah explicative you know where I'm going with this.

Sorry to harp on something so old, but this has got to be the most retarded comment I've ever read. You think drinking with a BAC of 0.02 is breaking the law? And you have respect for crooked cops? WTF?!?!? Dude, whatever you are smoking, I hope you aren't driving when you are like that! What's next, are you going to say you have respect for all clergy, even the child-rapin' ones?

 

[Jud]

Just remember, you got ******** and shady people in every job. You just hope what goes around comes around, and it would be damn great if you were there to see it. Sometimes that speeding police car that isn't running the blue lights is going out of his zone to help a fellow officer, or handle a complaint, or has to go see his captain (which is never to see how your day is going). Or maybe he had to work over his twelve hour shift to cover shortages and just wants to get home to see his family for a few hours before he gets four hours of sleep and groundhog day starts again. Not making excuses and it isn't right, but it happens.

 

[malkore]

Driving after one beer is not breaking the law.

Actually it is, depending on your state's laws.

That's why there's DUI vs DWI...driving UNDER the influence, vs driving WHILE intoxicated.

You can get nailed with a DUI while being under the legal limit. You're still impaired under the legal limit. Its one of the reasons I don't ride my motorcycle even after 1 beer.

 

[Homercidal]

In Michigan you can be charged with Operating While Visibly Impaired, which does not require proof of Blood Alcohol content. It's a lesser charge, and is usually based on an officer witnessing erractic driving behaviour, or if they know you have been using drugs other than alcohol.

Operating While Intoxicated is the charge for driving with a blood alcohol content higher than .08%.

The OWVI charge is somewhat at the officer's discretion. So if they don't like the way you look, and they know you had a drink, they can pull you over and make life difficult if they want to.

 

[jsweet]

In NYS, the lesser charge (DWAI, Driving While Ability Impaired) still has.a specified BAC, .05. I am not sure if they can also make a judgment call if you blow less than that but are still obviously drunk (they have a DWAI-Drug which is purely a judgment call) but in practice they usually don't even charge people if they only blow a DWAI. It's a slap on the wrist and so usually not worth the trouble for the cops.

By the way, as to the OP, I'm sure somebody's said this already but: If you quite innocently had a beer with dinner (which is legal in most states and even if it's not is not going to typically be enforced in the others) and a cop asks you how much you've had to drink, the answer is "Nothing, officer." It's sad you have to lie, but to a cop, "I had one or two with dinner" is code for "I had a bunch..maybe too many.. but I THINK I could pass a sobriety test..." It's understandable they'd assume that -- that's what most people mean when they say "I only had one or two", heh. But what it means for those AREN'T driving over the limit, is that the answer to the question is always "Zero".