I for one think it is time for all of us to have a place to discuss how we as individuals feel about Budweiser's attack on craft beer drinkers. You know, let the poison out. I think the best way to do it for me was to write Big Bud a break up letter.
#BREAKUPWITHBUD
My letter:
Look, there is no easy way to do this, so I might as well just come out and say it. I think it's time for us to separate. You have to admit that there has been some lingering friction ever since the Big Game. You said some things, I said...well, it was mostly you telling me how hard you work and how good you are. And although you didn't say it directly, it was pretty clear from your tone that you were not happy with who I have become.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I have changed as I got older. But isn't that part of life? Isn't that what we should all strive for, to achieve self-improvement? Look, I'm not going to sit here and deny that we once had something special, that we didn't burn bright at one time. Like when we first met. I'll never forget that night we met at a friends house for that cook out. You were there all day, chillin, and I got there around 5 ready to have a good time. It seemed like I saw you everywhere I looked. And then someone pointed to you and said "go ahead, give it a shot." That gave me the confidence to walk over, hold you close, and get to know you better. We spent the rest of the night together hanging out with friends. It was a great time.
And then there was the time we went to that out of town wedding for my buddy from college. We spend 4 straight days together without a care In the world, partying all day and staying up all night, if you know what I mean. After that weekend I thought we were going to be together forever. But over the last few years I have grown, while you have always stayed the same, for better of worse. I have matured, while you have reveled in your adolescence.
Look, it's not you, it's me. I am looking for more in my life, and you have to admit that lately it's been nothing but disappointment and headaches for us. I mean, sure, I was really hurt when you hooked up with our buddy Goose from Chicago (who has never been the same since then). Now we don't hang out anymore. But I forgave you because we had a history. Now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I know that I want more. More spice, more excitement, more enjoyment. I don't blame you for that, but I owe it to myself to try to find that.
And I should just probably let you know, because I am sure you will find out anyway, I have started talking to someone new, a sweet peach from Georgia that I was introduced to at a pumpkin patch last October. I have been giving it a try and, I don't want to sound fussy, but I get all those things I think we are missing.
I hope the best for you. If I see you out at a bar or a friend's house, I promise to be an adult and not make it awkward for either of us. But please give me my space. By the way, I still have a big problem with your awful cousin Bud Light Platinum for stealing $10 from me. Please pass along the message to stay the hell away from me and my friends.
Be well.
Hope you got a chuckle from this.
#BREAKUPWITHBUD
My letter:
Look, there is no easy way to do this, so I might as well just come out and say it. I think it's time for us to separate. You have to admit that there has been some lingering friction ever since the Big Game. You said some things, I said...well, it was mostly you telling me how hard you work and how good you are. And although you didn't say it directly, it was pretty clear from your tone that you were not happy with who I have become.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I have changed as I got older. But isn't that part of life? Isn't that what we should all strive for, to achieve self-improvement? Look, I'm not going to sit here and deny that we once had something special, that we didn't burn bright at one time. Like when we first met. I'll never forget that night we met at a friends house for that cook out. You were there all day, chillin, and I got there around 5 ready to have a good time. It seemed like I saw you everywhere I looked. And then someone pointed to you and said "go ahead, give it a shot." That gave me the confidence to walk over, hold you close, and get to know you better. We spent the rest of the night together hanging out with friends. It was a great time.
And then there was the time we went to that out of town wedding for my buddy from college. We spend 4 straight days together without a care In the world, partying all day and staying up all night, if you know what I mean. After that weekend I thought we were going to be together forever. But over the last few years I have grown, while you have always stayed the same, for better of worse. I have matured, while you have reveled in your adolescence.
Look, it's not you, it's me. I am looking for more in my life, and you have to admit that lately it's been nothing but disappointment and headaches for us. I mean, sure, I was really hurt when you hooked up with our buddy Goose from Chicago (who has never been the same since then). Now we don't hang out anymore. But I forgave you because we had a history. Now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I know that I want more. More spice, more excitement, more enjoyment. I don't blame you for that, but I owe it to myself to try to find that.
And I should just probably let you know, because I am sure you will find out anyway, I have started talking to someone new, a sweet peach from Georgia that I was introduced to at a pumpkin patch last October. I have been giving it a try and, I don't want to sound fussy, but I get all those things I think we are missing.
I hope the best for you. If I see you out at a bar or a friend's house, I promise to be an adult and not make it awkward for either of us. But please give me my space. By the way, I still have a big problem with your awful cousin Bud Light Platinum for stealing $10 from me. Please pass along the message to stay the hell away from me and my friends.
Be well.
Hope you got a chuckle from this.
