McCall St. Brewer
Well-Known Member
I'm now halfway through my second manhattan this evening and it's amazing how much clearer I seem to be thinking... so, anyways, I was at a local liquor store this afternoon, and while I was there I was very impressed by their very nice selection of beers. They had a whole bunch of belgians, the usual Wisconsin micro-brew suspects, other notable U.S. brews, like Dogfish Head, Rogue, Anchor, Sierra Nevada, just to name a few, German stuff, anyway, you get the picture.
Later, though, I got to wondering. This is not the only store in my town that has lots of different beers like that. In fact, there are several places that I know of, just within a few miles from my house that have that. Now, when you read the label on, say, a Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA (not to pick on them in particular-- I happen to like their beer) they say that they are a really small brewer from Delaware. That got me to thinking-- if they're so small, how can they have their beer all over the place? I mean, the U.S. of A. is a big place. Big doesn't even begin to describe it. If they put their stuff in stores everywhere, wouldn't they have to make an awful lot of beer?
There's only one explanation for this: BMC. We all know that the huge international brewers want nothing less than world dominance. They want everyone to drink BMC. Everyone. Even your dog. So, what I'm thinkin' is this: Dogfish Head is BMC. So is Smuttynose, Anchor, New Glarus... etc. They are all BMC.
Now, I know what you're thinkin'-- those beers certainly taste nothing like BMC. They've got it all figured out, though. They know that if it said Miller or Bud, or Coors on the bottle You Wouldn't Drink It. They also (now this is where they're really clever) now know that if it tasted like BMC You Wouldn't Drink It.
So, what they do it they hire consultants (who are paid hundreds of thousands a year) to figure out how to make BMC taste like good beer. Then they hire other consultants to make up brand names and labels that sound like nice, local, folksy brands from nice, craft-made micro-breweries. Then, they make so much of it that it's everywhere. So, just as they want us to, every time we go to the store and buy a micro-brew, we're actually drinking BMC.
Sound depressing? It should be. It guess worse. Because I know what you're thinking now: I make homebrew. I don't drink BMC. Well, that may be true for now (maybe). But with BMC, sooner or later you will realize that you can't run and you can't hide. They have been working on the technology for awhile now, and for all we know they may already have it in place, to deal with homebrewers. If it has not already happened (and we won't even know it when it does) we will eventually all be homebrewing zombies. Homebrewing WHAT, you say? Zombies who brew for BMC. Oh, we will continue to think we are brewing awesome homebrew. And it will (at least for now) continue to taste like homebrew. But, in reality we will simply be brewing BMC at home.
Once this happens, everyone in the world will drink BMC.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... WTF!! Was I dreaming!? Jeez, what a nightmare....
Later, though, I got to wondering. This is not the only store in my town that has lots of different beers like that. In fact, there are several places that I know of, just within a few miles from my house that have that. Now, when you read the label on, say, a Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA (not to pick on them in particular-- I happen to like their beer) they say that they are a really small brewer from Delaware. That got me to thinking-- if they're so small, how can they have their beer all over the place? I mean, the U.S. of A. is a big place. Big doesn't even begin to describe it. If they put their stuff in stores everywhere, wouldn't they have to make an awful lot of beer?
There's only one explanation for this: BMC. We all know that the huge international brewers want nothing less than world dominance. They want everyone to drink BMC. Everyone. Even your dog. So, what I'm thinkin' is this: Dogfish Head is BMC. So is Smuttynose, Anchor, New Glarus... etc. They are all BMC.
Now, I know what you're thinkin'-- those beers certainly taste nothing like BMC. They've got it all figured out, though. They know that if it said Miller or Bud, or Coors on the bottle You Wouldn't Drink It. They also (now this is where they're really clever) now know that if it tasted like BMC You Wouldn't Drink It.
So, what they do it they hire consultants (who are paid hundreds of thousands a year) to figure out how to make BMC taste like good beer. Then they hire other consultants to make up brand names and labels that sound like nice, local, folksy brands from nice, craft-made micro-breweries. Then, they make so much of it that it's everywhere. So, just as they want us to, every time we go to the store and buy a micro-brew, we're actually drinking BMC.
Sound depressing? It should be. It guess worse. Because I know what you're thinking now: I make homebrew. I don't drink BMC. Well, that may be true for now (maybe). But with BMC, sooner or later you will realize that you can't run and you can't hide. They have been working on the technology for awhile now, and for all we know they may already have it in place, to deal with homebrewers. If it has not already happened (and we won't even know it when it does) we will eventually all be homebrewing zombies. Homebrewing WHAT, you say? Zombies who brew for BMC. Oh, we will continue to think we are brewing awesome homebrew. And it will (at least for now) continue to taste like homebrew. But, in reality we will simply be brewing BMC at home.
Once this happens, everyone in the world will drink BMC.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... WTF!! Was I dreaming!? Jeez, what a nightmare....