Funny things you've overheard about beer

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20yo nursing student works for me tonight says she doesn't like beer. It all tastes the same. Went into the usual there's a beer for everyone spill. She follows with "I like reds apple ale"
I gagged. I tried one once just out of curiosity. I dumped it.
She followed with the fact that she doesn't like angry orchard.
Me: you, wha, uhhh, la.... nevermind.
Her: I like fruity stuff
Me: I make an ipa that's tastes like tropical fruit.
Her: is that a beer
Me:yes. It's an ale. (I previously explained that she had probably only had bmc, which are all lagers and do taste the same) a combination of the Belgian yeast and certain hops makes it taste like pineapple, passionfruit and other tropical fruits.
Her: no you dont. Beer can't taste like that. Besides. I don't like ale either. I've had octoberfest and it's an ale. I didn't like that either. Ales are gross to.
I had (insert some smirnofish drink here) last night and I drank it with a crazy staw. It was good. Everything tastes better through a crazy straw.


Defeated, I walked away.
 
I think that's about all you could do at that point. Geez, some people are dense. I mean, it's different to be ignorant. but having it explained to you, & you still don't get it or refuse to believe it...that's stupid & you can't fix that. Stubborn is one thing, but geez louise...
 
Jwin said:
20yo nursing student works for me tonight says she doesn't like beer. It all tastes the same. Went into the usual there's a beer for everyone spill. She follows with "I like reds apple ale"
I gagged. I tried one once just out of curiosity. I dumped it.
She followed with the fact that she doesn't like angry orchard.
Me: you, wha, uhhh, la.... nevermind.
Her: I like fruity stuff
Me: I make an ipa that's tastes like tropical fruit.
Her: is that a beer
Me:yes. It's an ale. (I previously explained that she had probably only had bmc, which are all lagers and do taste the same) a combination of the Belgian yeast and certain hops makes it taste like pineapple, passionfruit and other tropical fruits.
Her: no you dont. Beer can't taste like that. Besides. I don't like ale either. I've had octoberfest and it's an ale. I didn't like that either. Ales are gross to.
I had (insert some smirnofish drink here) last night and I drank it with a crazy staw. It was good. Everything tastes better through a crazy straw.


Defeated, I walked away.
Click to expand...

Sounds pretty different from the 20-something nurses that I had in Nashville during my hospital stay. I was out of it for 3 or 4 days but one of my first memories when I woke up was this cute girl my age asking if I remembered her. I said no, and she told me everything that happened to me and that i'd talked a lot about beer while I was conscious and able to speak. By the time I woke up, everyone on the floor knew I brewed beer.

I ended up having my friends smuggle in a rolling suitcase full of beers when they came to visit. Kept them in my cabinet in my room, and gave them out to everyone
 
mongoose33 said:
Isn't 20 below the legal drinking age? How much can she know? :)

I was going to suggest having her try some craft brew and then it struck me: that would be supplying alcoholic beverages to a minor.
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some of us started a bit early and some (as I have learned) have vocal diarrhea. I had a roommate that had social dysentery. he'd try to school people on all sorts of crap he didn't know anything about. he tried to school me on beer & brewing, punk rock, metal, skinheads, and social behavior. I always had the luxury of shutting him down in front of an audience.:rockin:
 
Billy-Klubb said:
some of us started a bit early and some (as I have learned) have vocal diarrhea. I had a roommate that had social dysentery. he'd try to school people on all sorts of crap he didn't know anything about. he tried to school me on beer & brewing, punk rock, metal, skinheads, and social behavior. I always had the luxury of shutting him down in front of an audience.:rockin:
Click to expand...

Oh, believe me, I'm not judging. I drank my share of beer in college and probably two others' shares as well. But back then, the drinking age was 18.

I always thought it odd that we might ask someone at 18 to fight and die for their country, but drink an alcoholic beverage? Nope--too young.

Too young to drink but not too young to die. :(
 
mongoose33 said:
Oh, believe me, I'm not judging. I drank my share of beer in college and probably two others' shares as well. But back then, the drinking age was 18.

I always thought it odd that we might ask someone at 18 to fight and die for their country, but drink an alcoholic beverage? Nope--too young.

Too young to drink but not too young to die. :(
Click to expand...

I agree, but lets not get political. mods will close us down and give us e-spankings.
 
mongoose33 said:
Oh, believe me, I'm not judging. I drank my share of beer in college and probably two others' shares as well. But back then, the drinking age was 18.

I always thought it odd that we might ask someone at 18 to fight and die for their country, but drink an alcoholic beverage? Nope--too young.

Too young to drink but not too young to die. :(
Click to expand...

well, actually...

not sure if it is still the rule, but back when I was stationed in San Diego, late 80s, 18-year-olds could drink on base

to discourage young sailors from going to Tijuana to drink

it appears the Marine Corps still allows 18-year-old Marines to drink. but sailors are not able to anymore
 
You're old enough to kill, but not for votin'!
you say you don't believe in war,
but what's that gun yer totin'?
We told them back then if we're old enough to kill, we're old enough to vote & drink. Fare's fare! They only let us have that notorious 3.2% swill though. But at least it was beer. I missed the last draft by 3 digits. Walked home after school, high school auto tech, to have a beer or two before going the rest of the way home.
 
we were..." allowed" to pay the ultimate price for our country in 'nam, but we couldn't " pay" for a beer, much less vote. But that song still rings true today. The kids have to be 21 outside the suck to drink. The " eastern world" is now the " near east" & some of them have nukes. and they don't want folks to enjoy a drink & a joint, with all THAT going on?
If the button is pushed,
there'll be no runnin' away!
There'll be no one to save,
with the world in a grave!
If that doesn't scare ya, nothin' will!
AAAAnyway, we were checking out at Giant Eagle a lil bit ago, & the lady we know at the cash register mentioned about brewing beer cheaper. I guess she knew from my older son that works there whassup with me lately, seeing I hadn't bought any of the beer I was looking at. That creme brulee stout was calling me. I'm off the antibiotics, but still on the blood thinners. Not wanting to take chances by drinkin' HB's...
 
My mom had me fill up the garage fridge with a bunch of beer for my dad's birthday and we did pretty good getting a bunch of delicious craft selections into it. I did but a 6 pack of blue moon and a 12 of 805 for my soon to be brother in law and sister who list Stella, variations of bmc, and shock top as the different kinds of beer they like. I'm trying to broaden their horizons. Hence the 805 which I still recognize as delicious. I told him that I had some beers he would like and mentioned the two above. He then raised his eyebrows and said "805? Light and easy drinking?! That stuff is not easy drinking." It's going to be a long education...
 
joshesmusica said:
I was just messing with you with some friendly banter. Hope you know that.

Fare is a payment for transportation, or the person paying to be transported.

Fair is right or just.
Click to expand...

Oh. I started having flashbacks to youtube. I kept thinking " fair" was a small carnival atm. DOOOH! :smack:
 
brewshki said:
My mom had me fill up the garage fridge with a bunch of beer for my dad's birthday and we did pretty good getting a bunch of delicious craft selections into it. I did but a 6 pack of blue moon and a 12 of 805 for my soon to be brother in law and sister who list Stella, variations of bmc, and shock top as the different kinds of beer they like. I'm trying to broaden their horizons. Hence the 805 which I still recognize as delicious. I told him that I had some beers he would like and mentioned the two above. He then raised his eyebrows and said "805? Light and easy drinking?! That stuff is not easy drinking." It's going to be a long education...
Click to expand...

If someone thinks a blonde ale is too challenging, there may not be hope for them.
 
m00ps said:
Sounds pretty different from the 20-something nurses that I had in Nashville during my hospital stay. I was out of it for 3 or 4 days but one of my first memories when I woke up was this cute girl my age asking if I remembered her. I said no, and she told me everything that happened to me and that i'd talked a lot about beer while I was conscious and able to speak. By the time I woke up, everyone on the floor knew I brewed beer.

I ended up having my friends smuggle in a rolling suitcase full of beers when they came to visit. Kept them in my cabinet in my room, and gave them out to everyone
Click to expand...

We're in Nashville lol

I think the shocker for me was, doesn't like beer, doest like cider, but likes redds apple ale. ..?
 
Although I know what the writer was intending by this, it still made me laugh in the way it was worded:

'The only main difference many Brewers still agree on is the type of malt that should be used to brew each type of beer. Porters use malted barley, and stouts are primarily made from un malted roasted barley, this is where the coffee flavour most people associate with stout comes from'

1. Stout is made primarily with un malted barley? That's quite a feat.

2. Most people associate stout with coffee flavour? Sweet stout too? Oatmeal stout too?

Wellllll.....
 
Greg1Cruickshank said:
Although I know what the writer was intending by this, it still made me laugh in the way it was worded:

'The only main difference many Brewers still agree on is the type of malt that should be used to brew each type of beer. Porters use malted barley, and stouts are primarily made from un malted roasted barley, this is where the coffee flavour most people associate with stout comes from'

1. Stout is made primarily with un malted barley? That's quite a feat.

2. Most people associate stout with coffee flavour? Sweet stout too? Oatmeal stout too?

Wellllll.....
Click to expand...

1: I'm sure it should've read, "Primarily, stouts use unmalted roasted barley."

2: See here:

http://www.bjcp.org/docs/2015_Guidelines_Beer.pdf

15b
15c
16a
16b
16c
16d
20b
20c
 
joshesmusica said:
1: I'm sure it should've read, "Primarily, stouts use unmalted roasted barley."

2: See here:

http://www.bjcp.org/docs/2015_Guidelines_Beer.pdf

20c
Click to expand...

1. I'm sure it should have. That's what makes it a 'funny thing I've overheard' (or read).

2. I see what ya did there. I'd say touché, except that I've personally found these 'guidelines' to be very...laxadasical. In fact, and perhaps my perception of taste just sucks, I rarely pick up coffee notes in a stout. All except maybe a small sample of examples. Certainly not as inclusively as BJCP would suggest a stout 'can' taste like.
 
Greg1Cruickshank said:
1. I'm sure it should have. That's what makes it a 'funny thing I've overheard' (or read).

2. I see what ya did there. I'd say touché, except that I've personally found these 'guidelines' to be very...laxadasical. In fact, and perhaps my perception of taste just sucks, I rarely pick up coffee notes in a stout. All except maybe a small sample of examples. Certainly not as inclusively as BJCP would suggest a stout 'can' taste like.
Click to expand...

I would say it's not a very good idea to nitpick about someone's description of what typical according to style if you're not going to take into consideration THE style guidelines.
 
Did I inadvertently cause offence?
That last comment seemed a little more attacking and less 'funny things we've heard'...

But at the end of the day, you're probably right. For all I know you may be a BJCP judge. I'm just a guy who, like I said, probably has a sucky ability to pick up neuances like coffee in a lot of stouts.
 
My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

:)
 
slym2none said:
My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

:)
Click to expand...

well done

but still doesn't really answer the question of how much Scotch he needs ;)
 
Context!

:p

Besides, he has half a fifth of some 18-year old Chivas that was given to him. GIVEN to him. He has all he needs

;)
 
slym2none said:
My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

:)
Click to expand...

I would have responded that he needs just as much as it will take for the Hot Scotchies that he is going to drink while brewing.
 
joshesmusica said:
I would say it's not a very good idea to nitpick about someone's description of what typical according to style if you're not going to take into consideration THE style guidelines.
Click to expand...

Meh, IIRC roasted unmalted barley has only been commonly used in stouts for less than a century (I believe Guiness started using it in the 1930's) and the style has been around for LONG before that so I don't think it's anything essential to the style. Plenty of good stouts don't have any unmalted barley.
 
Bosh said:
Meh, IIRC roasted unmalted barley has only been commonly used in stouts for less than a century (I believe Guiness started using it in the 1930's) and the style has been around for LONG before that so I don't think it's anything essential to the style. Plenty of good stouts don't have any unmalted barley.
Click to expand...

The point about the guidelines was more about the notes of coffee, not the roasted unmalted barley. Which according to the BJCP 2015 style guidelines that I linked above, every single stout style mentioned coffee as one of the main descriptors in flavor.

If we really wanted to get historical, then, no of course they didn't have coffee flavors, as historical "stouts" didn't even have to be dark. They were stout because they were strong.

But nowadays it's a different story. If someone wants to differentiate between a stout and a porter, there's not really a need to go back and tell us what they used to be 100 years ago. Only what they are now.

I was just giving the guy a hard time for being fairly incorrect in his funny thing he overheard about beer. It happens often on this thread. It's just another way to keep it funny.
 
The BigHair takes me to Red Lobsterfest for VD dinner and the beer menu reads "ask about our local craft beer selection"

So I ask and the kid behind the bar says "Lagunitas?"

We're in Virginia.

All they really had was the 3 BMC lites, Yuengling, Shock Top, Boston Lager & SA Winter Lager

I had a coke
 
GrogNerd said:
The BigHair takes me to Red Lobsterfest for VD dinner and the beer menu reads "ask about our local craft beer selection"

So I ask and the kid behind the bar says "Lagunitas?"

We're in Virginia.

All they really had was the 3 BMC lites, Yuengling, Shock Top, Boston Lager & SA Winter Lager

I had a coke
Click to expand...

"Ask about our non-existent local craft beer selection!"
 

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