Funny things you've overheard about beer

[biochemedic]

Found in the menu of a local taproom with nearly 50 beers on tap, and many more in bottles (so they presumably know beer...):

So can someone tell me how a pound and a half of hops per barrel leads to a "smooth malty flavor?!"

View attachment 1508691252416.jpg

 

[day_trippr]

Off hand, as I do some recipes that use almost a pound for 5 gallons, that beer sounds majorly under-hopped.
Which leaves "malty", I guess...

Cheers!

 

[brewbama]

That only some folks brew 'True Beer (TM)'

 

[Jwin]

That only some folks brew 'True Beer (TM)'

That some Brewers still use hops.

 

[bleme]

So I split a bomber of Alpine Duet IPA with my mom and poured my wife an Anchor Lager. My wife tastes hers first and “Mmmmmm”.

Then the takes a sip of mine and “Ugh! That is awful! How can you drink that crap?!!?” So I think it must be a pretty good IPA.

I sit down with my glass and I’m enjoying it while my wife is reheating leftovers when I hear “Ugh! I got your mom’s glass instead of mine! I’ll never get that out of my mouth now!”

 

[divrack]

I was in a bar and overheard these peasant idiots talking about dry hopping giving the beer it's smooth hoppy character, and in total rage at their ignorance, I shouted at them that they clearly knew nothing about biotransformative yeast/hop interaction, and still less about the extent of humulone expression of oxidised beta access manifesting as perceived bitterness without the presence of isomerized alpha acids. I mean ffs the ignorance of some people is disgusting.
I threw their drinks on the floor and wanted my limbs about in an aggressive manner until they left, I presume, to think about the fools they had made of themselves.

Oh sweet Jesus there's someone over there that is in imminent danger of confusing stout with Porter. Hand me the stick Mabel!

 

[Conehead]

" I hate American beer because all it is watered down piss ". Being a Canadian, I have been hearing this for years and just heard it again last week!! I say nothing, but really just want to ***** slap them...

 

[biochemedic]

I was in a bar and overheard these peasant idiots talking about dry hopping giving the beer it's smooth hoppy character, and in total rage at their ignorance, I shouted at them that they clearly knew nothing about biotransformative yeast/hop interaction, and still less about the extent of humulone expression of oxidised beta access manifesting as perceived bitterness without the presence of isomerized alpha acids. I mean ffs the ignorance of some people is disgusting.
I threw their drinks on the floor and wanted my limbs about in an aggressive manner until they left, I presume, to think about the fools they had made of themselves.

Oh sweet Jesus there's someone over there that is in imminent danger of confusing stout with Porter. Hand me the stick Mabel!

[In loud, heroic sounding, talk over voice...] SUUU-PPPER BEER GEEK, TO THE RES-CUE!!!

 

[Jayjay1976]

"I don't like dark beer"
"I don't like strong flavored beer"
"What's wrong with bud lite? Why fix what ain't broke?"
"Schlitz is craft beer!"

My conclusion is that consuming B-M-C macro swill causes brain damage. Drinking craft beer may be an effective treatment, but homebrewing is the only known cure.

 

[GPP33]

My conclusion is that consuming B-M-C macro swill causes brain damage. Drinking craft beer may be an effective treatment, but homebrewing is the only known cure.

I'm pretty sure that to anyone looking in from the outside at us spending our life savings all of our free time and obsessing over every detail just to make a drink we can buy at a store on just about every street corner we're the ones with brain damage.

 

[mongoose33]

I'm pretty sure that to anyone looking in from the outside at us spending our life savings all of our free time and obsessing over every detail just to make a drink we can buy at a store on just about every street corner we're the ones with brain damage.

You wouldn't say that if you had a pint of my beer......

 

[divrack]

You wouldn't say that if you had a pint of my beer......

I live in rural Scotland and if any of my beers are not better than anything I can buy locally I consider it a faliure.

 

[lootcorp]

Years ago I attended my wife's grandfather's funeral outside of Pittsburgh. After the service family and friends headed to a bar/restaurant for lunch and my wife, her dad, and I beat everyone else there so we grabbed a beer at the bar while we waited. This was before you could readily find craft beer on tap and the draft list was pretty standard BMC -- except, we were in Pennsylvania! Yuengling country!

My father-in-law, who likes good beer but isn't really knowledgeable about brands and stuff, notices all of the Yuengling signs and loudly proclaims (in front of the very blue collar day-drinking bar crowd), "Huh, wouldn't expect a Chinese beer like this YongLing in a place like this!"

LOL -- we got quite a few stares as I hustled him out of the bar!!

 

[Genghis]

Honestly, I'd seen the name printer a couple of times and thought it was a Chinese beer myself... until I saw the label.

 

[enkamania]

I was at GABF and the person from Bells was answering this guys questions about Two Hearted.

Guy: "So this is a session beer"
Bells: "Dude, it's 7% alcohol"

 

[GPP33]

I was at GABF and the person from Bells was answering this guys questions about Two Hearted.

Guy: "So this is a session beer"
Bells: "Dude, it's 7% alcohol"

That’s a yes right?

 

[GrogNerd]

That’s a yes right?

7% is session in my house

our brew club meets at the Mellow Mushroom up the street here, and they have a rule about not serving anything over a certain ABV in a pint glass. we convinced them Two Hearted was an exception.

 

[biochemedic]

7% is session in my house

our brew club meets at the Mellow Mushroom up the street here, and they have a rule about not serving anything over a certain ABV in a pint glass. we convinced them Two Hearted was an exception.

7% wouldn't be served in a pint normally? That seems like an excessively low limit. Most places I've been that have a rule like that, the limit is at least 8%....and occasionally, you'll find that place that serves DFH 90 Min (9%) in a pint!

 

[GrogNerd]

7% wouldn't be served in a pint normally? That seems like an excessively low limit. Most places I've been that have a rule like that, the limit is at least 8%....and occasionally, you'll find that place that serves DFH 90 Min (9%) in a pint!

Ridiculously low, yes. I forget the exact cutoff, but we did get them to make that exception for our group

 

[BoBoBenton]

Ok, so I was at a Brewdog bar in the uk doing the advanced beer tasting course. Where should I begin...
These are things I learnt...

Honey is unfermentable
Fruit in unfermentable
Yeast, if it gets too hot or too cold it gives off esters and “phenesters”
You have to boil your mash
English hops are all boring and lacking flavour (opinion presented as fact)
Punk ipa is the only ipa made with Nelson Sauvin in the uk

Oh I could go on. It was an hour of misinformation and disappointment.
Just so much crap spewed by a cicerone certified instructor.

 

[bleme]

Ok, so I was at a Brewdog bar in the uk doing the advanced beer tasting course. Where should I begin...
These are things I learnt...

Honey is unfermentable
Fruit in unfermentable
Yeast, if it gets too hot or too cold it gives off esters and “phenesters”
You have to boil your mash
English hops are all boring and lacking flavour (opinion presented as fact)
Punk ipa is the only ipa made with Nelson Sauvin in the uk

Oh I could go on. It was an hour of misinformation and disappointment.
Just so much crap spewed by a cicerone certified instructor.

I'm a pretty reserved and quiet person but I don't think I could have just sat there and let that stuff slide.

 

[Genghis]

Honey is unfermentable
Fruit is unfermentable

Mead, cider, and wine are all just different styles of beer, apparently.

 

[BoBoBenton]

I'm a pretty reserved and quiet person but I don't think I could have just sat there and let that stuff slide.

Normally I wouldn’t have but I went with friends who on the way to the bar gave me a set of rules that if I followed they would buy me beer and listen to me rant after.

Number 1 on that list was do not correct/challenge any of **** they spew

I still didn’t feel satisfied post rant. I won’t be making that deal again.

 

[BoBoBenton]

Ok, so I was at a Brewdog bar in the uk doing the advanced beer tasting course. Where should I begin...
These are things I learnt...

Honey is unfermentable
Fruit in unfermentable
Yeast, if it gets too hot or too cold it gives off esters and “phenesters”
You have to boil your mash
English hops are all boring and lacking flavour (opinion presented as fact)
Punk ipa is the only ipa made with Nelson Sauvin in the uk

Oh I could go on. It was an hour of misinformation and disappointment.
Just so much crap spewed by a cicerone certified instructor.

Oh damn. I just remembered another, maybe on reflection this is my favourite...

Punk IPA (flagship APA) and Hazy Jane (NEIPA) were the same beer but the NEIPA was just unfiltered.
The haze and soft mouth feel was just an artic at of the yeast on your pallet.
They have different abv/ibu different taste, aroma and colour and are just completely different beers with very few similarities.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

From now on every sub par beer I make will be blamed on phenesters.

 

[Lefou]

I live in rural Scotland and if any of my beers are not better than anything I can buy locally I consider it a faliure.

Making a beer that's comparable to or better than the commercials is satisfying. Some people don't appreciate the work and creative effort behind making good homebrew when it's easier to grab something off a shelf.
I try to make foreign beer styles I CAN'T find for sale on a regular basis.

 

[burtom]

At a beer festivle in Rochester MN. "This beer smells like armpits and sweatsocks!". I laughed, unfortunately they were right and it tasted just like it smelled. I tried it hoping there would be a magically good underlying flavor. My bad!

 

[ParabolicDestination]

Bud Light Platinum. It's like 6% or something. People who like to get trashed think it's liquid gold.

I just found this thread and recently brewed my first Lager. A German Helles (slightly out of style @ around 6.2% because I forgot to account for BH efficiency).. But now have to let everyone know to go slowly as they're used to the BMC and can't handle anything that is over 4-5%. I haven't brewed any imperials because of this reason lol

 

[Hwk-I-St8]

At a beer festivle in Rochester MN. "This beer smells like armpits and sweatsocks!". I laughed, unfortunately they were right and it tasted just like it smelled. I tried it hoping there would be a magically good underlying flavor. My bad!

We were at the midwest belgian beer fest year before last and they had a sour that smelled like vomit. We had to really psyche ourselves up to taste it. One friend put it to his lips at least 20 times and backed off.

It tasted really good. Maybe it was fruited with Durian?

 

[divrack]

Oh damn. I just remembered another, maybe on reflection this is my favourite...

Punk IPA (flagship APA) and Hazy Jane (NEIPA) were the same beer but the NEIPA was just unfiltered.
The haze and soft mouth feel was just an artic at of the yeast on your pallet.
They have different abv/ibu different taste, aroma and colour and are just completely different beers with very few similarities.

he was probably referring to pheasants. they are a big problem in British brewhouses. or is that peasants?

a bar lady the other day was patiently explaining the difference to me between ale and lager, the former being anything that comes out of the taps with the big handles and the latter being anything that comes out of the taps with small handles. this was important as I wanted to taste an IPA (lager) from the small tap but they insisted that it was only normal to be allowed tastes of ales (big taps).

I looked deep into her eyes and realised that she was right and always would be.

 

[Horseflesh]

The other day, while in a winery, a staffer said that beer has much more alcohol than wine. :|

From now on every sub par beer I make will be blamed on phenesters.

That would be a grave error because phenesters are responsible for the distinctive flavor of True Beer.

 

[Hwk-I-St8]

he was probably referring to pheasants. they are a big problem in British brewhouses. or is that peasants?

a bar lady the other day was patiently explaining the difference to me between ale and lager, the former being anything that comes out of the taps with the big handles and the latter being anything that comes out of the taps with small handles. this was important as I wanted to taste an IPA (lager) from the small tap but they insisted that it was only normal to be allowed tastes of ales (big taps).

I looked deep into her eyes and realised that she was right and always would be.

I never knew the meaning of the various sized taps. This is great information!

 

[NGD]

he was probably referring to pheasants. they are a big problem in British brewhouses. or is that peasants?

Embarrassed to say, but thick enough to continue that this took me far to long to get.

 

[NGD]

Ok, so I was at a Brewdog bar in the uk doing the advanced beer tasting course. Where should I begin...
These are things I learnt...

Honey is unfermentable
Fruit in unfermentable
Yeast, if it gets too hot or too cold it gives off esters and “phenesters”
You have to boil your mash
English hops are all boring and lacking flavour (opinion presented as fact)
Punk ipa is the only ipa made with Nelson Sauvin in the uk

Oh I could go on. It was an hour of misinformation and disappointment.
Just so much crap spewed by a cicerone certified instructor.

This is brilliant! Feed false facts to any potential brewers in an effort to cut down on future competition due to them making unpalatable beer and giving up in frustration. Only investors will know the real secrets to brewing a good beer.

 

[Lefou]

I just found this thread and recently brewed my first Lager. A German Helles (slightly out of style @ around 6.2% because I forgot to account for BH efficiency).. But now have to let everyone know to go slowly as they're used to the BMC and can't handle anything that is over 4-5%. I haven't brewed any imperials because of this reason lol

The first time I had a Victory Brewing Belgian tripel after eating (9.5%) it put me to sleep.
It was about another year before I tackled the second bottle out of six. Glad I did because it allowed me to see how the beer changed and improved over time. It's something the BMC crowd won't get to see because low ABV canned beer with extract hops can totally ruin your impressions of what good beer is really like.

 

[Brewdoddy]

Love reading these posts and I have heard so many similar over the years! I have been home brewing since 1970 and working as a professional brewer since 1979.
In 1980 I was stopped in the street by an old High School acquaintance (no friend). "What are you doing now," he demanded. "I'm a brewer," I say. He says "What beer do you brew?" I tell him (brewery long since taken over and closed). "That's pish," he says. I ask him where he had a pint? "Never tasted it," says he - "but the TV advert is pish". I agreed with him that the TV advert was corny, to say the least, but maybe he should at least have a try of the beer before writing it off...

 

[Northern_Brewer]

We were at the midwest belgian beer fest year before last and they had a sour that smelled like vomit. We had to really psyche ourselves up to taste it. One friend put it to his lips at least 20 times and backed off.

It tasted really good. Maybe it was fruited with Durian?

The classic vomit flavour is caused by butyrate, which is usually produced by acid bacteria and so you tend to find it in sours that haven't quite worked. But it's a complex area - there's a similar flavour that my other half is very sensitive to and finds in all sorts of beers (or is it just from dirty lines?), but I don't get at all.

Mind you, the horse manure from Brett in red burgundy etc is highly prized....

 

[bleme]

"I once mixed a Woodchuck Pear Cider and a PBR and made a "Fruity Hipster". It was quite tasty until everyone else at my table tried it."

 

[biochemedic]

"...quite tasty until everyone else at my table tried it...."

Hilarious...quite the problem with hipsters indeed!

 

[bleme]

I was at a Pour-Your-Own bar a couple weeks ago and as I am browsing the taps, I notice one labeled "Strike Brewing - Say Haze Kid - English IPA". If it hadn't had 'haze' in the name, I might have believed them....