Funny things you've overheard about beer

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At an Irish Pub I go to.

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estricklin said:
At an Irish Pub I go to.
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They're using the terms in the traditional English way. In old-timey England, stouts were strong beers and ales were lighter beers. In some places, "beer" was beer brewed with hops, while "ale" was beer brewed without hops.

The history of the terms are complicated and somewhat confusing, but they're not strictly speaking totally out to lunch. They're invoking the historical nostalgia of an authentic olde English public house.
 
Hosted my grandparents for most of the weekend. Grandfather only drinks light lagers. Here's some highlights:

*On tasting "Not Your Father's Root Beer"*
This is delicious, I'll need to pick up some of this before we head home. But I WON'T buy it cold, since we have a long drive and our cooler is full. Don't want it to skunk.

*On observing the 5.9% ABV*
Grandfather: That's pretty high.
Grandmother: How much is in beer?
Grandfather: You'll be lucky to get 4%. Most domestics are around that area.
Me: Yeah 5.9% is pretty high for a soda like this. What do you mean by "Domestic?"
Grandfather: You know, like Budweiser and Millers and Natty Lite, those are all around 4%. Unless you get a lager like Yuengling, but even Yuengling isn't this high.
Me: ...Yeah I guess that's right.
Grandfather: Domestics can't be more than 7% either.
Me: (only being able to take so much). I don't know about that. I can get a barleywine made in the US that's north of 10%
Grandfather: That's a wine though.
Me: It's technically a beer.
Grandfather: It sounds like a malt liquor if it's that high.
Me: ...alright.
Grandfather: Unless the stuff you're talking about is Canadian like Labatt Blue and stuff like that.

I love and respect the hell out of the guy but that whole conversation was painful.
 
Cheesy_Goodness said:
Hosted my grandparents for most of the weekend. Grandfather only drinks light lagers. Here's some highlights:

*On tasting "Not Your Father's Root Beer"*
This is delicious, I'll need to pick up some of this before we head home. But I WON'T buy it cold, since we have a long drive and our cooler is full. Don't want it to skunk.

*On observing the 5.9% ABV*
Grandfather: That's pretty high.
Grandmother: How much is in beer?
Grandfather: You'll be lucky to get 4%. Most domestics are around that area.
Me: Yeah 5.9% is pretty high for a soda like this. What do you mean by "Domestic?"
Grandfather: You know, like Budweiser and Millers and Natty Lite, those are all around 4%. Unless you get a lager like Yuengling, but even Yuengling isn't this high.
Me: ...Yeah I guess that's right.
Grandfather: Domestics can't be more than 7% either.
Me: (only being able to take so much). I don't know about that. I can get a barleywine made in the US that's north of 10%
Grandfather: That's a wine though.
Me: It's technically a beer.
Grandfather: It sounds like a malt liquor if it's that high.
Me: ...alright.
Grandfather: Unless the stuff you're talking about is Canadian like Labatt Blue and stuff like that.

I love and respect the hell out of the guy but that whole conversation was painful.
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Ohhhhhh I'm sure he thinks you sound stupid talking about certain stuff, too.
 
Just had a local who's getting into homebrewing ask me to taste test his wort and give my advice. Now, I'm no expert, but I was willing to help him out.

I looked in his carboy and asked where his sediment was, and why is there no krausen? A taste test (4 days into "fermenting") came up REALLY sweet. I assumed he loaded up on sugar to increase alcohol.

His answer to my first question was "oh, my stuff never has sediment, i'm that good".

He didn't put yeast in. I think he thought he had to age it.

I gave him my last packet of yeast (I'm not brewing anything else until I return to Ottawa) and told him to invite me over next week to check on it.
 
Cheesy_Goodness said:
Hosted my grandparents for most of the weekend. Grandfather only drinks light lagers. Here's some highlights:

*On tasting "Not Your Father's Root Beer"*
This is delicious, I'll need to pick up some of this before we head home. But I WON'T buy it cold, since we have a long drive and our cooler is full. Don't want it to skunk.
Click to expand...

Well actually...

Can you skunk a hard root beer if it doesn't contain hops?

(Does NYF have hops? I don't actually know.)
 
drainbamage said:
Well actually...

Can you skunk a hard root beer if it doesn't contain hops?

(Does NYF have hops? I don't actually know.)
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That was the funny part ;)

I just did a minute or two of research and from what I can tell it's technically a gruit. If that's true, no hops involved.
As far as I can tell, skunking occurs when sunlight interacts with isomerised hops. There is an old myth that says once beer gets cold, it has to stay cold because if it comes to room temp again it'll be skunked, even absent sunlight.

In other words, the myth says you can buy room temperature beer, take it home, throw it in the fridge, and it'll be fine. But, if you buy cold beer and let it warm up to room temperature, then chill it down, it'll be skunked.

One of these days I'm going to be brave enough to point out that if you buy a lager at room temperature, it already has warmed up from lagering temps and should already be spoiled by that logic. Until that day comes, I'll just sit in the corner and sip my beer quietly :p
 
I'm pretty sure NYFRB is actually closer to Mike's Hard lemonade or Smirnoff Ice than gruit or any ale that we might normally drink. I think it's actually a fermented malt base to which flavoring is added.
 
It's definitely a league of its own and certainly doesn't drink like any other beer I've had. I'm not sure what category it technically fits into.
Awfully tasty all the same though.
 
Mission Brewery makes a hard root beer that I think has a better taste than NYFRB. I also like root beers with lots of vanilla and sarsaparilla (or what ever they use to mimic the real root).
 
Speaking of sarsaparilla, that with some light spices would make a nice holiday ale, with it's old-time flavor. I remember mom showing us how to make the tea out of the root shavings that used to be bought in a plastic bag.
 
I like Coney Island a little better than NYF (not quite as sweet), but yeah, I'd lump them in with Smirnoff and Mike's more so than actual beer.

(Fair warning: I've also tried another one named Spindoktor that's around 11% ABV. The first sip was alright, then it just started to taste like a Four Loko. Way too boozy.)
 
NYFRB and Coney Island are FMBs. (Flavored Malt Beverages) much like Mikes and Smirnoff.

I believe the TTB allowed the use of "Root Beer" because it is the accepted name of a flavor used in other beverages that are not "beer".
 
GuldTuborg said:
I recently heard skunking may have to do with the temperature beer is kept at. On a beer forum, no less. Hilarious.
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Depends on when the skunks were added in the brewing process. I like a good whirlpool skunk addition and a 5 day dry skunk. Once you cold crash, don't bring it back up to room temp, though.
 
WesleyS said:
I'll have to try that. The closest I've done is first wort skunking.
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Good technique, but the mash enzymes breaking down the skunk over the duration of the mash takes it to a whole new level. Try an overnight mash with a live skunk for the ultimate effect.
 
GuldTuborg said:
Try an overnight mash with a live skunk for the ultimate effect.
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You have to remember, this is an advanced technique, and will result in significant aeration and temperature loss of your mash. It's not a deal-breaker by any means, but you do have to adjust your mash-in temp and protocol to account for it.
 
Many Chinese beers print the Plato OG on the front of the label while hiding the ABV in the fine print on the back. 1.4 billion people (yes, including the children) think they're drinking 8-10% brew when it's really 2.5-3.5%. Makes for some interesting conversations when people try my 5-6% homebrews and try to educate me on how Tsingtao, Harbin, and Snow are making their beers almost twice as strong as mine. I've even met homebrewers here who make this mistake, though almost anyone with more than a couple brews under his belt has got that straightened out.
 
FatDragon said:
Many Chinese beers print the Plato OG on the front of the label while hiding the ABV in the fine print on the back. 1.4 billion people (yes, including the children) think they're drinking 8-10% brew when it's really 2.5-3.5%. Makes for some interesting conversations when people try my 5-6% homebrews and try to educate me on how Tsingtao, Harbin, and Snow are making their beers almost twice as strong as mine. I've even met homebrewers here who make this mistake, though almost anyone with more than a couple brews under his belt has got that straightened out.
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Even I can still make that mistake for a second or two on occasion. Even some German Breweries still feature plato prominently. Before I got into craft I actually spotted it easier since I though beer can´t have that much alcohol. Now I´ve had 21% beer that has not even been freeze distilled...

It goes so far that about a week ago Jamie Oliver´s Youtube channel dedicated to drinks, so not the most amateurish though mass oriented, did a video where the overlay said Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier, the Bamberg smoked beer, had 13.1%. Clearly the person who wrote that looked at the plato and did not blink.
 
Continued adventures with Home Brewing Without Failure, cutting edge homebrewing from 1965.

Now we hit the cider chapter, which starts up pretty well before sliding into WTFery.

It talks about how different apples make different kinds of cider and talks about how you can get your hands on them (grow them yourself, buy apples, get directly from farmers who might well press them for you, or get it in bulk from an apple pressing company. Strangely there's no mention of just going to the store and buying some apple juice.

He then talks about the old days in which laborers would get cider as part of their pay (which was within living memory when this book was written) but it wasn't as awesome as it sounds since the people employing the laborers were huge dicks.

Then we get to something interesting. He says that 20 million gallons of commercial cider are being producing annually and tries to play that up as a lot. But that seems horrifically low, not enough enough to give the whole adult population of the UK a good buzz if all drunk at once. Cider must've grown a lot in popularity over the last few decades, I wonder why?

Then he goes an a ramble about homebrewers worrying too much about making their stuff taste like the commercial version when it should just be it's own thing and the thing that cider should be is moderate in alcohol so that you can throw back a few pints so make sure that your cider doesn't have more than 9% alcohol.

Again, he tells us to be restrained with the ABV of cider so that it doesn't above 9% alcohol. Ye gods, how much sugar were these idiots putting in their cider back then?

Up next: we learn about the true horrors that cider can inflict upon the unwary.
 
More fun with cider...

He notes that you can make cider sweet by putting in so much sugar that the yeast conk out and can't eat it all. He says that requires hitting an ABV of 14%, he it seems he's using wine yeast for cider. Interesting.

To his credit he does say that using Campden tablets is a better idea than going nuts on the sugar.

Then he talks about priming and, as before, he seems claims that "drought" means completely uncarbonated.

He also recommends that you bottle cider with all of the bottles upside down, then when it's finished conditioning, hold each bottle over the sink (still upside down) and quick screw off and then screw on the cap again so that yeast sediment goes down the drain.

That sounds messy.

Up next: some more specific cider recipes.
 
In describing allagash curieux, a friends husband told me. "It's dark, not as dark as say a german pilsner, but darker than Newcastle brown."
 
I took a long hiatus from brewing due to kids and in the meantime commercial magkeolli (Korean lacto rice beer with a LOT of sediment at the bottom of each bottle) brewing really took off. Which is great for me when I serve homebrew everyone now understands about yeast sediment, even the most dedicated of piss pilsner drinkers.
 

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