How about you define 'properly'? In your setup, for your process, ultra-fine milling works. FOR YOU and YOUR SETUP. BIAB, right?
However, the same grind in a conventional mash/lauter tun at comventional mash thicknesses would result in a horribly stuck mash with the consistency of porridge. A crush with the consistency of grits, however, works in both setups. You just can't mash for 3.8 minutes and call it a day.
I work part-time in a LHBS. It gets busy. You know what we can't do? Adjust the mill for every different customer. It takes too long and causes more wear and tear on the mill. Also, if you leave the gap too small and start milling, you just ruined somebody's grain bill and the shop eats the cost of the grains and/or maybe loses a customer because we screwed their bre day up with a stuck mash. The mill gets set for a middle-of-the-road setting, that works decently across the board for all our customers.
That's reality.
There's another reason to mash longer, and that's flavor extraction from the specialty grains. Too short of a time results in lesser extraction and flavor from specialty grains. This is something we've directly experimented with and experienced at the shop.
Maybe it's not your place to tell *anyone* how they should mash? I'm not a big one for 'dogma' and advocating things just because 'that's the way we've always done it' but there are good reasons for some brewing practices, and what makes you happy with your beer may not work for everyone else.
You did notice that we're posting in the BIAB section, not in the conventional mash tun section? I rarely post in the section that is dedicated to the conventional mash tun people and I don't tell them that they must mash for only 30 minutes. I may suggest that they try it and I might tell them that they need to use an iodine test with some of the grist to determine if they have full conversion.
If your milling ends up with a grist like grits the conversion is likely to be done in less than 30 minutes and so will flavor extraction. Not every LHBS does so well with their milling. Some have their mills set so wide that the people using their grains only get 50 to 60% efficiency. Customers shouldn't have to put up with that.
I'll often advocate that people get their own mills so they can set it to best work with their system. If they are BIAB, I suggest that they set it as fine as they can get the grain to go through as that will get them the best efficiency and conversion will be done very quickly.
I have experimented with much shorter mash periods and found what you said, that the specialty grains take longer to give up their flavors. With my finely milled grains that flavor extraction takes less than 20 minutes but more than 10. I don't like cut that too fine so I tell people to mash for 30 minutes even though the flavor in my mash is extracted in less than 20 minutes.
Your LHBS may be too busy to change the setting on the mill between customers but not every one is like that. Some have plenty of time but refuse to change even if their milling is substandard. Some are willing to accommodate differences in peoples wants. Those are the LHBS's that people should frequent and should shun ones that do a poor job and refuse to change. Many inexperienced brewers don't know that they are getting a poor job and need to be guided. I try to guide people in the BIAB forum to make changes to improve their system. If that requires them to get their own mill I do push them toward that.
You are right in that my method will not work for everyone....but it can and if nobody mentions it or pushes people to try they won't even suspect that it is possible. I started with a 60 minute mash just like most people do but I was willing to make some changes and try some different things to see how they worked out. I try hard to document what works and what doesn't so other people don't have to travel the same path.