Could You Live Across The Street From Your Mother?

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mkyl428

mkyl428

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Okay my mom owns the house across the street from her and wants me to move into it. Without going into too much detail I'm 28, single & own my own home already, the house she wants me to take, is slightly bigger than my current house, has an above ground pool, a pool table, a privacy fence and a nicer yard. It also has a slab foundation whereas my house has a crawl space below it gets cold & I have had to fix mold issues in the past.

It is a definite upgrade to my current house, and I could move in & live there free till I sell my house at which point she would sign the new house over to me & I would start paying a mortgage payment to my mother, the house is already paid off to the bank right now....


The only thing I don't like about this idea is it's across the street from my mom, I mean I love my mom & all, but I don't know that I want to live across the street from her. It seems it would be stupid of me not to do it if that is the only reason I can think of, since this is a much nicer house & an opportunity to sell my house & move without having to pay 2 mortgages....

I just don't know what I should do... I guess I don't have to live there forever either... I just don't want the whole Everybody Loves Raymond thing going on you know what I mean?


So anyway what do you guys think? What should I do?
 
Sounds like an upgrade to me. Personally, I would do it. I'm married and have kids, though. My Mom helps out with the kids. It'd be great if I could just send them across the street, lol!!!
 
I could do it and I would love it..... I would have to keep the wife medicated though!!!!!!!!!
 
DromJohn said:
I turned down job interviews that were in the same state (Texas) as my mother (RIP).
Click to expand...

Hahaha it's not that bad, I live 10min away now & she never bothers me, I just don't know if that would be the case if were across the street though
 
When searching for a job early in my career, I took a map of the eastern US, and drew a rough circle representing a days drive from my mother's place. I told my wife that I would not consider living any closer than that. I would end up being a full time gardener, plumber, electrician, painter, and chauffeur.
Consequently, I am still married after 44 years. I love my mother, but I value my marriage and my sanity.
Bob
 
Can you imagine having a "nice young lady over'
and having your Mom look out the window some Saturday or Sunday morning
to watch that nice young lady walking to a cab , carrying her shoes
Still in that short black dress from the night before....???

think of the Shame man !
THINK of the Shame !


:rockin:
 
steveoatley said:
Can you imagine having a "nice young lady over'
and having your Mom look out the window some Saturday or Sunday morning
to watch that nice young lady walking to a cab , carrying her shoes
Still in that short black dress from the night before....???

think of the Shame man !
THINK of the Shame !


:rockin:
Click to expand...

Exactly!
 
You're a grown Man now, aren't ya'?
That means you can tell your Mom how you want to live, and how you do things.
I had a great relationship with my Mom, ( RIP), and so did my Wife.
My Mom was the type person that would tell it like it was, very upfront, and raised me to be the same.
If you couldn't do the same, and tell your Mom not to meddle in your business, then it sounds like you ain't got the stones to handle living across from her.
Future Wife?
Tell her like it is too, and if she can't handle it, send her ass packin'.
Scared your Mom might see some tramp coming out of the house the next morning?
Tough s%^t.......See above.
Sounds like a sweet deal, upgrade wise, and I would do it in a heartbeat.

You asked, and ya' asked a bunch of homebrewers as well.

If yer' scared, go ahead and say it..............:mug:

Edit: Don't forget, you're all growed up and haired over now.........
 
steveoatley said:
Can you imagine having a "nice young lady over'
and having your Mom look out the window some Saturday or Sunday morning
to watch that nice young lady walking to a cab , carrying her shoes
Still in that short black dress from the night before....???

think of the Shame man !
THINK of the Shame !


:rockin:
Click to expand...

I got that beat! We lived on the corner of an old alley in Elyria that was one street over from the one her parents lived on. Seems like they'd always come over about the time we're playing war (when I lay down & she blows the hell out of me!), or when she's getting' it but good,...& here they are at the door. And of course it's usually so quiet you could hear a pin crash at 100 feet. I'll leave the obvious up to your sick imaginations! But in answer to your question, Yes, I wish my mom & dad were still alive so I could live across the street. We loved to have a good time together, even right before or after dinner. We got along well enough to where it could've been a lot of fun...:drunk:
 
When my dad died I bought my parents house, added a ground floor bedroom so my mom wouldn't have to deal with steps and thought everything would continue to be rosey....fast forward 5 years later. They don't build a fermenter big enough for me to get enough self medication and I often wish I was with my dad! Don't do it. I'll also add that as a kid my neighbors were my grandparents and I know my mother hated it (my dad's parents). Don't do it.
 
I'm a single guy who still gets invited over for dinner several nights a week with the folks and I'd only vote for it as a temporary solution.
It's similar to the fact that I thought about buying the house across the street to have as a rental. Easy to do maintenance, don't have to hire a lawn service, etc. But... you have to put up with knowing all the stupid things they do EVERYDAY.
Granted, if you live a super boring life and wouldn't mind your mother knowing about everything you do then go for it. Like they say about Facebook "don't post anything you wouldn't want your mother to read", well, if you move in across the street from her it becomes "don't DO anything you wouldn't want your mother to know about."
 
If you can set firm guidelines, like always calling before coming over, then maybe. If you can maintain a good relationship and your independence while being financially obligated to her (harder than you might think), then maybe. If you can count on her to not interfere with your personal (dating & other) life, then maybe. If you feel comfortable telling all of your future dates that you live in a house your mother owns, right across the street from her, then maybe.

For me... No.
 
Yeah I think it mainly depends on your mom and your relationship with her. With my parents, it wouldn't be a problem...ever since I was in college, they were very respectful of me and my space, never really felt the need to check up on me or get in my business. Some of my friends' parents, if they had been within walking distance, their parents would never leave. As it is now, I'm only about 45 min away and they only stop by every few weeks or so, its more often me going over there to visit.

If I knew that if I lived that close that my mom would be finding reasons to pop in every other day....forget it.
 
cernst151 said:
If you can set firm guidelines, like always calling before coming over, then maybe. If you can maintain a good relationship and your independence while being financially obligated to her (harder than you might think), then maybe. If you can count on her to not interfere with your personal (dating & other) life, then maybe. If you feel comfortable telling all of your future dates that you live in a house your mother owns, right across the street from her, then maybe.

For me... No.
Click to expand...
The house will be in my name, she will sign it over so I will own it I already asked about that, but I definitely see where you are going with setting boundaries, and also with the possible financial complications that could arise.. And I definitely see the problem with having to explain to dates that my mom lives across the street
 
Its only a house. If it becomes a problem just move. Easy. To me it sounds like a good deal if its a better house.
I live in a different country to my parents and its hard because I have Children to visit them and them to visit me is a rare thing. Im very grateful for every time I get to see them.


Drink more coffee and do stupid things faster
 
not just "no" but, "Hells martha floccin' no!" I won't even live in the same town or city as most of my blood. but if you get along with your mom, then go for it!
 
Hmmm I'm going to have to give this some more thought...
We get along fine & I'm leaning toward taking the house, it is a pretty big upgrade & I can always sell it after a while I guess.

She says she would leave me alone & not constantly be over there, I live 10 min away now & she never comes to my house so maybe she's right, I just don't want to take the house & then majorly regret it...

I don't know just seems like it would be weird.....

I appreciate all your responses even if I still don't know what to do:confused:

Sometimes it helps to see what other people think about a situation
 
I just turned 55; my dad is 84 and my mom is in her late 70's but I'm not sure exactly how old. I live 1300 miles away and only get to see them about once a year. I would *love* to live close to them. Maybe not right across the street, but then again why not.
 
My mom's long dead. She lived in mexico most of my adult life, so I didn't get to see her much until I tossed her ashes in the Sea of Cortez. Sorry to be a downer, but man if I could have spent more time near her that would have been great. I say yes, of course. The housing deal is icing on the cake.
 
I would do it. I'd never have to go grocery shopping, just walk across the street and eat. Get sick, walk across the street. Her computer messes up and instead of taking 30 minutes to explain the steps to fix it over the phone, walk across the street and back home in 2 minutes. Forgot to order that pumpkin spice? Probably in the cabinet across the street. I could come up with a hundred more reasons and not include the good points that you already stated.
 
My step mom in heart beat! My mom Uhhhhh maybe (it would have to be a great upgrade) My Mother in law ohhhhhh HELLS NO NEVER!!!

Cheers
Jay
 
I'll try to provide some actual insight from real experience and being in a similar age bracket...

Well I actually did what you're considering, but only for a year. When I was 24/25 I rented a townhome with my girlfriend that shared a rear garage entry alley directly behind my parents house. In other words, I could back my car up out of the driveway and hit their trash cans, and vice versa. Since the guy who owned the townhome was my parents neighbor and was giving us a great deal, we couldn't pass the opportunity up. Fast forward a few years and that girlfriend is now my wife, and I consider her a saint for ever agreeing to live within shouting distance of my mom for any period of time. Long story short it all worked out in the end, and it was convenient and fun on occasion while we were there, but I guess I always knew there was an expiration date to my "bonding" time, so any of the problems and/or uncomfortable situations that arose along the way didn't bother me for too long. That being said, now that we're married, and buying our own home, I wouldn't go back and do it again. But if I were single like you (and I'm 27 now), and had that opportunity...I still wouldn't do it. I've come to the conclusion, while the experience was OK and all, I couldn't do it for more than a year. My mom, probably like your mom, isn't bat**** crazy or anything, but honestly we just all need our space.

But hey everyone is different, and I wasn't homebrewing back then so serenity/sanity in tough times was further out of reach...

Either way, best of luck!
-Dan
 
A friend of mine lives across the street from his in-laws, and several other in-law family live on the same street. His parents live across the canal and back a ways. There was a little smothering at first. Some arguments were had. Now, it's just so nice to send the kids across the street and know there's kin folk up and down with an eye out.

This is a ymmv situation.
 

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