Best News Headlines

[bleme]

There has got to be more important things if life to worry about than some dude eating a burrito on a train...

I figure the guy must have been REALLY hungry for some reason and the sight/smell pushed him over the edge. I've been hungry enough to claim 'temporary insanity' before...

 

[GrogNerd]

DC Metro is very strict about eating & drinking in the system, and it shows. cars and stations are very clean

while SF allows you to defecate in the streets, why would they care about what you do on mass transit?

 

[radwizard]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

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PORTLAND, OR | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Oregon strip club.

 

[Hopsimus]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

Wait. So, you aren't allowed to touch the strippers, but you can lick the pole?
That's just.... so wrong.

 

[radwizard]

Wait. So, you aren't allowed to touch the strippers, but you can lick the pole?
That's just.... so wrong.

I know, right! I wonder if he tried to cop a feel on a stripper and she offered him the pole instead.

On a side note: This is recent news in Portland OR. What happens at Homebrewcon does not always stay at Homebrewcon.....

 

[Murphys_Law]

I know, right! I wonder if he tried to cop a feel on a stripper and she offered him the pole instead.

On a side note: This is recent news in Portland OR. What happens at Homebrewcon does not always stay at Homebrewcon.....

Man, there are so many different ways to go with this!

 

[day_trippr]

 

[soccerdad]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

 

[Hopsimus]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

And on a related note: Uranus Smells Like Farts

 

[HoppyDaze]

Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve

 

[histo320]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

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PORTLAND, OR | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Oregon strip club.

If he Les liking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

 

[histo320]

If he enjoys liking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

 

[lschiavo]

I'm glad you edited. I totally didn't get it the first time

 

[nmfree]

It’s called vomit fraud.

 

[Pkrd]

It’s called vomit fraud.

You should take an Uber that provides video evidence that you didn’t barf.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy...aper-reveals-he-was-livestreaming-passengers/

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

Scientists have been simulating giant impacts into Uranus since the early 1990s

 

[sweetcell]

If he enjoys licking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

take 3...

 

[krenshaw]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

but can he prove that he didn't already have it?

 

[nmfree]

Police: Naked man arrested at Planet Fitness said he thought it was a "judgement free zone"

 

[Sailingeric]

Police: Naked man arrested at Planet Fitness said he thought it was a "judgement free zone"

Looks like Rafi from The League

 

[nmfree]

Looks like Rafi from The League View attachment 580698

I imagine this is how he walked in, too.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

here's one...

 

[homebrewer_99]

Fan injured after being struck by hot dog shot by Phillie Phanatic

#1 - even the mascots of Philly sports teams are evil

#2 - who the hell thought hot dog projectiles were a good idea?

Think of them as Nerf Meat...

 

[histo320]

ORGY Announces Two New Members

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/orgy-announces-two-new-members/

Must be one hell of an orgy to make news like this.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

The irony...

 

[nmfree]

The Booming Business of Luxury Chicken Diapers

 

[sweetcell]

Two elderly men escape nursing home to go to German metal festival

 

[Inkleg]

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/06/nashville-carjacking-foiled-by-manual-transmission.html

 

[Sailingeric]

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/06/nashville-carjacking-foiled-by-manual-transmission.html

Damn Millennials! Not like it is a real stick shift!

 

[GrogNerd]

Woman shoots masturbating bicyclist trying to break into her SE Houston home, police say

taking multi-tasking to a new level

I mean any two of the three simultaneously requires Cirque du Soleil skill

 

[Zuljin]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-😨/

 

[ancientmariner52]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-😨/

New Orleans. The San Francisco of the south. Nothing in either place can surprise me.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-/

Pfft! Big deal. the Mayo flavored ice cream is worth mention tho'.

 

[GrogNerd]

alternate headline: Kaepernick's way back into the league

 

[nmfree]

Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens

 

[kh54s10]

http://time.com/5372281/beer-mile-disqualified/

 

[catdaddy66]

http://amp.heraldonline.com/news/nation-world/national/article217264155.html

It seems that baby poop has an actual beneficial use.

 

[nmfree]

Florida Security Guard Fired After He Filmed Himself Farting for Six Months

 

[nmfree]

Ariana Grande is wrong about Crohn’s disease causing ‘butthole eyes’

 

[soccerdad]

Uh oh. Pecker leaks !