In real life, right about now is when I would cut the loudest fart I would muster... y'know, to break the tension.
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.
YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!