Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Hmmmm, looks like I was wrong. The 8 hour mash time isn't a typo in Home Brewing Without Failures by H. E. Bravery. It's the standard advice in all of the grain recipes.

Let's flip through and try to find some more groaners...

He's saying that the water that's used for mashing is called "brewery liquor" even though it's just water and is quite insistent about that. I've never heard of that term.

He says that you have to boil the wort after mashing (which takes 6-8 hours) to break down the enzymes or the enzymes would break down ALL of the sugars in the malt so that you'd have to malt flavor left, just hops, alcohol and water.

"The amount of sugar given in the recipes make for good strong beers, that is, beers with a comfortable percentage of alcohol. You can make them weaker or stronger as you wish by altering the amount of sugar accordingly."

By sugar he means white table sugar, a lot of his recipes include pounds and pound of it.

He's saying that using your own malt and hops is more expensive than buying extract which seems strange but maybe things were different in 1965.

Hmmm, now recommendations of using a fish tank immersion heater to keep the wort at the right temperature for all eight hours of the mashing.
 
He's saying that the water that's used for mashing is called "brewery liquor" even though it's just water and is quite insistent about that. I've never heard of that term.


And yet the majority of the all grain Brewers here have a HLT (Hot Liquor Tank) as part of their setup. No idea why it's called liquor, but it's pretty widespread
 
Calling brewing water liquor id's actually pretty much standard. It's the water you intend to use in the beer instead of the washing water.
 
I've mashed overnight... probably 8 hrs. Beer was great.

The rest of the recipe is a different story.
 
friend: "So, I hear you started brewing your own beer?"
me: "Yeah, been reading up on it for a long time and started really getting into it now that I have some equipment. I've done 2 batches so far."
friend: "Cool. So...what kinda beers did you put into your beers?"
me: "uhhhh...I made a pale ale and a hefeweizen, that's a wheat beer."
friend: "yeah, yeah, but I mean what kinds did you put into them?"
me: "uhhhh...the hops I used were centennial and cascade for the....wait....what?"
friend: "Yeah I now this guy that makes his own beer too, he usually mixes Bud and Molson Ex so it has more taste. So what kinds did you put in it?''
me: ''Uhhhhhh.......uhhhhhhhh......made them straight from grain, with hops and yeast and stuff.''
friend: '' Hahahah...look at this guy, straight from the grain...lol. look at this Bud I'm holding, you see any grain in there? ...straight from the grain...dude you are too funny''
 
friend: "So, I hear you started brewing your own beer?"
me: "Yeah, been reading up on it for a long time and started really getting into it now that I have some equipment. I've done 2 batches so far."
friend: "Cool. So...what kinda beers did you put into your beers?"
me: "uhhhh...I made a pale ale and a hefeweizen, that's a wheat beer."
friend: "yeah, yeah, but I mean what kinds did you put into them?"
me: "uhhhh...the hops I used were centennial and cascade for the....wait....what?"
friend: "Yeah I now this guy that makes his own beer too, he usually mixes Bud and Molson Ex so it has more taste. So what kinds did you put in it?''
me: ''Uhhhhhh.......uhhhhhhhh......made them straight from grain, with hops and yeast and stuff.''
friend: '' Hahahah...look at this guy, straight from the grain...lol. look at this Bud I'm holding, you see any grain in there? ...straight from the grain...dude you are too funny''


Sounds like those guys that "make moonshine" by adding flavorings to everclear they bought from the liquor store.
 
friend: "So, I hear you started brewing your own beer?"
me: "Yeah, been reading up on it for a long time and started really getting into it now that I have some equipment. I've done 2 batches so far."
friend: "Cool. So...what kinda beers did you put into your beers?"
me: "uhhhh...I made a pale ale and a hefeweizen, that's a wheat beer."
friend: "yeah, yeah, but I mean what kinds did you put into them?"
me: "uhhhh...the hops I used were centennial and cascade for the....wait....what?"
friend: "Yeah I now this guy that makes his own beer too, he usually mixes Bud and Molson Ex so it has more taste. So what kinds did you put in it?''
me: ''Uhhhhhh.......uhhhhhhhh......made them straight from grain, with hops and yeast and stuff.''
friend: '' Hahahah...look at this guy, straight from the grain...lol. look at this Bud I'm holding, you see any grain in there? ...straight from the grain...dude you are too funny''

My head just assploded.
 
A stewardess on a recent flight I was on was pouring a red from a north west brewery and the glass ended up being half foam. She looked confused and said "all that foam is because the beer has so many hops in it". Hmmm, I think it's cause you poured it into the glass too quickly after shaking the bottle around while trying to open it...
 
One of the coworkers I work closely with regularly, whose roommate has a better brewing system than I, said the other day, "We brewed a light lager over the weekend." Trying to figure out what it was, I threw out Pilsner, Helles, possibly even Kolsch as options. He had to text his buddy to ask. The answer came back: "Saison". I don't know who was less informed...
 
friend: "So, I hear you started brewing your own beer?"
me: "Yeah, been reading up on it for a long time and started really getting into it now that I have some equipment. I've done 2 batches so far."
friend: "Cool. So...what kinda beers did you put into your beers?"
me: "uhhhh...I made a pale ale and a hefeweizen, that's a wheat beer."
friend: "yeah, yeah, but I mean what kinds did you put into them?"
me: "uhhhh...the hops I used were centennial and cascade for the....wait....what?"
friend: "Yeah I now this guy that makes his own beer too, he usually mixes Bud and Molson Ex so it has more taste. So what kinds did you put in it?''
me: ''Uhhhhhh.......uhhhhhhhh......made them straight from grain, with hops and yeast and stuff.''
friend: '' Hahahah...look at this guy, straight from the grain...lol. look at this Bud I'm holding, you see any grain in there? ...straight from the grain...dude you are too funny''

My wife's great uncle is known for making awesome BBQ sauce. He gave my FIL the recipe a year or two ago.

You start with Kraft BBQ Sauce, and add

Wait . . . your BBQ sauce recipe uses BBQ sauce as an ingredient? :confused:

Yes. So you add the chipotle and

:drunk:
 
Mom's chicken enchiladas was chicken tortilla and cream of the chicken or cream of mushroom soup can spread over. I never could eat it but every one in my family thought it was great. On a more related topics my coworkers heard that my latest beer is ready. Next thing I hear is I will bring your bottle tomorrow. Because they know if they want to try it they have to have returned the previous bottle or they won't get another. With the exception of my boss, he gave me a raise for no other reason than my family's hard times.
 
The girl who was training me for my new position was saying she liked coors because she is from Colorado. I commented that figured she would be a craft drinker being from Colorado and she didn't even know what that was
 
My wife's great uncle is known for making awesome BBQ sauce. He gave my FIL the recipe a year or two ago.

You start with Kraft BBQ Sauce, and add

Wait . . . your BBQ sauce recipe uses BBQ sauce as an ingredient? :confused:

Yes. So you add the chipotle and

:drunk:

One of my brothers had a father-in-law who was justly renowned for his marinade/BBQ sauce. He used to send his sister in the Midwest a gallon of it every year, but he never gave her the recipe.

I was having coffee with him one morning as he went thru his mail, and he passed me a letter from the sister. She was pretty blunt: he was old and sick and wasn't going to live much longer, and she wanted that recipe before he died. He laughed and said, "if I give her the recipe, I'll die a lot sooner. Because she's a hardcore religious teetotaller, and my marinade is beer-based."

Add: I see nothing wrong with using a commercial sauce as the base for one's own version. If the makers have combined and cooked a good set of base ingredients, why reinvent the wheel? Let them do the grunt work, then add the tweaks that make the recipe yours.
 
I guess even most of my favorite homemade BBQ sauce recipes include things like ketchup, yellow mustard, soy sauce, worcestershire, etc. All of those are essentially pre-made base ingredients, although it feels more original than starting with another straight up BBQ sauce.

Lol. I had a bunch of family over a couple years ago, and had some partial bottles of Stubbs, sweet baby rays, and bulls eye. Just mixed them all together. Everyone loved it on a bunch of grilled chicken, but couldn't figure out what it was.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
LlNickTheGreat;6822479]My wife's great uncle is known for making awesome BBQ sauce. He gave my FIL the recipe a year or two ago.

You start with Kraft BBQ Sauce, and add

Wait . . . your BBQ sauce recipe uses BBQ sauce as an ingredient? :confused:

Yes. So you add the chipotle and

:drunk:

One of my brothers had a father-in-law who was justly renowned for his marinade/BBQ sauce. He used to send his sister in the Midwest a gallon of it every year, but he never gave her the recipe.

I was having coffee with him one morning as he went thru his mail, and he passed me a letter from the sister. She was pretty blunt: he was old and sick and wasn't going to live much longer, and she wanted that recipe before he died. He laughed and said, "if I give her the recipe, I'll die a lot sooner. Because she's a hardcore religious teetotaller, and my marinade is beer-based."

Add: I see nothing wrong with using a commercial sauce as the base for one's own version. If the makers have combined and cooked a good set of base ingredients, why reinvent the wheel? Let them do the grunt work, then add the tweaks that make the recipe yours.[/QUOTE]


Some people even object to ketchup as a base, but why add that to the process?

It's like with extract vs all grain beer.
 
One of my brothers had a father-in-law who was justly renowned for his marinade/BBQ sauce. He used to send his sister in the Midwest a gallon of it every year, but he never gave her the recipe.

I was having coffee with him one morning as he went thru his mail, and he passed me a letter from the sister. She was pretty blunt: he was old and sick and wasn't going to live much longer, and she wanted that recipe before he died. He laughed and said, "if I give her the recipe, I'll die a lot sooner. Because she's a hardcore religious teetotaller, and my marinade is beer-based."

Add: I see nothing wrong with using a commercial sauce as the base for one's own version. If the makers have combined and cooked a good set of base ingredients, why reinvent the wheel? Let them do the grunt work, then add the tweaks that make the recipe yours.


Some people even object to ketchup as a base, but why add that to the process?

It's like with extract vs all grain beer.[/QUOTE]

Maybe, but then you're tweaking and not creating :D
Ketchup as an ingredient that becomes bbq sauce is different than bbq sauce which becomes bbq sauce.
If you pour a BMC and add hops did you brew a beer? Just sayin'...

And a funny thing about beer - I know a guy who actually adds Frank's Wing Sauce to his BMCand thinks he created a beer. :mug:
 
Uh...correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what we're already doing? :D I can see where non-brewers might like that one. But then, they could just by a craft beer with those flavors already in it. And I almost always use 'chup as a base for bbq sauces. Except for my Italian-style one.
 
I've a brother that "doesn't like ales", but frequently drinks stouts, porters, Belgian beers, hefes... I think he just doesn't like APAs and IPAs, but doesn't fully understand what "ale" means.
 
I've a brother that "doesn't like ales", but frequently drinks stouts, porters, Belgian beers, hefes... I think he just doesn't like APAs and IPAs, but doesn't fully understand what "ale" means.


My dad is the same way without the "anything that isn't made by Coors or Miller". The man drinks Keystone. I love him, but he drinks Keystone.
 
I don't think keystone comes in bottles

lg-coors-Key-Lt-Bottle-2.png


That happened with a friend of mine too. He drank Miller Lite exclusively for years. A bunch of us were over at his house, and he had an 12-pack of Beast Light in bottles that his cousin had brought over. I didn't even realize they wasted glass on those kind of beers.
 
I've a brother that "doesn't like ales", but frequently drinks stouts, porters, Belgian beers, hefes... I think he just doesn't like APAs and IPAs, but doesn't fully understand what "ale" means.

I have a family member who declared he did not like "ale" only lagers as he was sipping on a Brown's Cream Ale I had given him!
 
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