yummy... i read that, and still laughing. makes me think of eskimo beer. add 8 lbs sugar, 1 package of brewers yeast, and 5 gallons of water. ferment for 3 days in a bucket with the lid on loosely, and drink
The stupidest comment on your beer
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yummy... i read that, and still laughing. makes me think of eskimo beer. add 8 lbs sugar, 1 package of brewers yeast, and 5 gallons of water. ferment for 3 days in a bucket with the lid on loosely, and drink
And it is super expensive for barley (I am guessing it is not malted!), You can get a 25 kg sack from Brewers coop for around $70.
The recipe calls for 8 oz of malt extract, 2 teaspoons of sugar and 2 teaspoons of barley, no hops. Thats some watery beer - if you can call it that!
lextasy23
Well-Known Member
I was recently explaining the beer making process to a friend of a friend, at a party. I immediately got the impression this kid was a know-it-all type. I go through the whole process from start to finish... Ingredients, steeping, boil, extract vs. AG, primary, secondary, what dry hopping is, priming, bottling, aging... the works.
2 parts to the hilarity: Apparently he's like a friggen brewmaster now, and tells people basically exactly what I told him. Never made a batch in his life, but tells people he does at parties. I'm sure that's why he was full of questions. This was weeks later my buddy told me they were out and he was using "i make beer" to pickup chicks. Whatever... there was pu$sy on the line, so i guess I get it. But right after i explained the process, he proceeds to tell me all about "some beer he once heard of, but couldn't remember the name of" that used "wet-hopping". I had to Google it, because I had never heard of it. I'm the type to research something before I tell someone they're wrong. Apparently wet hopping involves taking dried hops, soaking it in water, then adding it to the beer. lulz.
2 parts to the hilarity: Apparently he's like a friggen brewmaster now, and tells people basically exactly what I told him. Never made a batch in his life, but tells people he does at parties. I'm sure that's why he was full of questions. This was weeks later my buddy told me they were out and he was using "i make beer" to pickup chicks. Whatever... there was pu$sy on the line, so i guess I get it. But right after i explained the process, he proceeds to tell me all about "some beer he once heard of, but couldn't remember the name of" that used "wet-hopping". I had to Google it, because I had never heard of it. I'm the type to research something before I tell someone they're wrong. Apparently wet hopping involves taking dried hops, soaking it in water, then adding it to the beer. lulz.
I'm pretty sure wet hopped beers refers to using hops that have never been dried. Right now you can preorder them from rebel Brewer since they apparently run out quickly and are only available at certain times during the year
lextasy23
Well-Known Member
Yes I know this (and only recently educated myself when he mentioned it). I had never heard of it, and he was just bullsh!tting. So I googled.
It is not, however, soaking dried hops in water, then adding it to a final product at bottling. Hence the hilarity when Mr. Knowitall explained this to me.
Oh I get it, he told you wet hopping was the same as dry hopping but you "wet" the hops first. Pretty funny.
I have also heard the process of using undried fresh hops as "using green hops".
edb23
Well-Known Member
i love the mr. knowitall types. one kid a while back had just gotten his bartender certificate, so this of course made him an expert in all things alcoholic. he insisted a lime was crucial for corona because it counteracted the germs that were in the urine that was used to ferment it
mc_eric
Well-Known Member
edb23
Well-Known Member
What an idiot!
Everyone knows urine is sterile
Hahahah at least he acknowledged that it's got that great south american piss flavor, unlike most of the college kids i know around here who insist it's the greatest beer they've ever had.
drummerguysteve
Well-Known Member
I had someone tell me that hated to chug corona because it was their "good/expensive" beer. Their plan was to chug "bad" beer, and then move to corona to "enjoy".
To give her credit, it was during the college years.
To give her credit, it was during the college years.
Mexico is in North America. But Corona does taste like piss.
I remember reading in a coffee table type beer book, about 15 yrs ago, a rather prophetic description of Corona. The author couldn't understand the Corona hype in the US. He said, Corona is what the Mexicans drank when they couldn't afford the better stuff. Then he called it "the PBR of Mexico".
They man was psychic!, but got it backwards. PBR is the Corona of the US. This was way before PBR was the choice of hipsters and was still considered just a cheap buzz. Now both Corona and PBR are so cool, because the marketers say so.
They man was psychic!, but got it backwards. PBR is the Corona of the US. This was way before PBR was the choice of hipsters and was still considered just a cheap buzz. Now both Corona and PBR are so cool, because the marketers say so.
FWIW PBR has no or very little marketing. That's why its the hipster go to.
thelema420
Member
me drinking a chocolate stout at a band practice
guitarist: you made that???
me: yea, you wanna try one?
guitarist (takes a sniff): wow, that's some stout ****!
me thinking: um, yea...i just told you it was a chocolate stout...
in his defense, he doesnt drink and he still really liked it
guitarist: you made that???
me: yea, you wanna try one?
guitarist (takes a sniff): wow, that's some stout ****!
me thinking: um, yea...i just told you it was a chocolate stout...
in his defense, he doesnt drink and he still really liked it
Nice! must be rough having Pliny availble.
Its the end of the afternoon here and i already sucked down a founders ipa,founders double trouble, and a founders red rye ale.. wtf?!!!
This was a home brew clone of Pliny.
Morebeer.com has the Pliny kit I used.
slowbie
Well-Known Member
Nice! must be rough having Pliny availble.
Its the end of the afternoon here and i already sucked down a founders ipa,founders double trouble, and a founders red rye ale.. wtf?!!!
This is floating around the web and came straight from Russian River: http://beerdujour.com/Recipes/1Pliny the Elder clone PDF.pdf
jgln
Well-Known Member
I remember back in my early 20's going to a bowling alley lounge for lunch once in a while. Hand carved hot roast beef sandwich, bowl of long hots and a PBR on tap....delicious. Place is gone now I think but that was one meal that I always crave for but can't seen to recreate just right or find anywhere else.
JetSmooth
Well-Known Member
Cheap beers have their place. Around here, it's Natty Boh. I bought a 12 pack of cans for six-dollars this past weekend so I could do a beer hot-tub for some brats on the grill. Only took three, so I've been drinking the rest. I mean, it's not terrific beer, but it's definitely crisp and quaffable. A good summer beer. And not bad for fiddy-cents a can.
Not exactly something stupid said about my beer... but something stupid said about beer, by the local homebrew supply employee...
I was in the shop for the first time, looking around trying to decide it it was something I wanted to get into. While I am looking at the beer kits the employee came up to me
Him: how's it going?
Me: not bad, I was kind of interested in getting into brewing.
Him: oh yeah, well this one is popular (I forgot what beer kit he pointed to)
Me: actually, I prefer a dark beer!
Him: oh, then you would like the IPA!
Me: ... *Look at him* ... *Look at the IPA* ... *Look at him* ... *Pick up the stout* ...
Mind you, this is also the guy who told me to use table sugar, not to get an airlock, and just place the lid on top of the bucket, and it will be done in two weeks...
Needless to say I wasn't sure if I should trust his word. After that I found this board, and no longer need to ask him anything ever again!
I was in the shop for the first time, looking around trying to decide it it was something I wanted to get into. While I am looking at the beer kits the employee came up to me
Him: how's it going?
Me: not bad, I was kind of interested in getting into brewing.
Him: oh yeah, well this one is popular (I forgot what beer kit he pointed to)
Me: actually, I prefer a dark beer!
Him: oh, then you would like the IPA!
Me: ... *Look at him* ... *Look at the IPA* ... *Look at him* ... *Pick up the stout* ...
Mind you, this is also the guy who told me to use table sugar, not to get an airlock, and just place the lid on top of the bucket, and it will be done in two weeks...
Needless to say I wasn't sure if I should trust his word. After that I found this board, and no longer need to ask him anything ever again!
djinn88
Well-Known Member
"Wow man this stuff tastes great!" Usually a good comment about my beer, BUT it was the only (partial) batch I've screwed up so far and was presented to him as such. It was BierMuncher's Centennial Blonde that I spiked a gallon of with about a quart of fresh strawberries. I don't know what was wrong with it, but it had a plastic-y taste. Anyway, I gave the rest of them to him (they were pretty terrible).
Jota21
Well-Known Member
Good first post!
Also, run away from that LHBS. Run very fast
Was this a manager of any sorts? Running away will only hurt one of the few surviving brick/mortar LHBS. You may be better off having a discussion with the manager/owner about the advise that is being given out in their shop.
I'm sure they'll thank you for it as long as you approach them politely and make it known that you're trying to help.
Hegh
Well-Known Member
I get that plastic-y taste in a lot of mine; it seems to be related to not doing a yeast starter and not aerating enough. I've also noticed that nobody else seems to be able to taste it, but I think some of my older stuff is near-undrinkable because of it.
onipar
Well-Known Member
Okay, so this isn't the stupidest comment on my beer, but expected.
My mother called me and asked if she could give a bottle of my beer to her boss. I guess she'd been telling him about my homebrew, and he likes to drink.
I found out later that his usual beers are Fosters and Heineken. I warned my mom that he probably wasn't going to like it very much. I chose to give him a mild ale.
His reaction? He said "It has an interesting flavor. I kept eating cheese and crackers so I could finish it."
Nice. Nothing like choking down a beer with the aid of cheese and crackers. :rockin:
My mother called me and asked if she could give a bottle of my beer to her boss. I guess she'd been telling him about my homebrew, and he likes to drink.
I found out later that his usual beers are Fosters and Heineken. I warned my mom that he probably wasn't going to like it very much. I chose to give him a mild ale.
His reaction? He said "It has an interesting flavor. I kept eating cheese and crackers so I could finish it."
Nice. Nothing like choking down a beer with the aid of cheese and crackers. :rockin:
Denny's Evil Concoctions said:
I did. Last Monday. A piss drunk neighbor knocked on my door. Was in the middle of adding DME to the pot so I yelled that I was busy. Knocks get louder and I told him to go f*** himself. About half hour later 8 cops show up at my door. Thank God one was a homebrewer. Was told they got a call about a meth lab and strong smell of marijuana. Told them I'm a homebrewer and the marijuana smell I could not explain, but "I bet it's the hops". It was about 10:30 at night and I invited them to come back when they got off (11:15). 6 of them took me up on it. I got that batch in the fermentor before they got back. I had some beer cheese soup I'd made, gave them each a bowl, along with tasting glasses of my nut brown, Irish red, and American cream. They hung out for about 2 hours. The homebrewer enjoyed the hell out of it, along with 3 of the others. The other 2 had fun but made comments like: "tastes like beer, but I prefer bud", "aww man I already feel gassy".
Ive since gotten an invite to brew with the cop. Going to his house this coming Saturday to do a Pliny the Elder.
I have read in a few places that beer (not wine) is actually better suited to be paired with cheese , you should ask him what cheese he was eating and try it
I just moved into the neighborhood. I had a conversation with the neighbor about beer and how I'll be planting hops in the spring.
"Well, as long as you keep them out of sight, I won't call the cops."
I just said, "thanks".
He came into the garage when I just happened to be unpacking the "brewing stuff" box. He left really quickly upon seeing the IC and Erlenmeyer flasks... Poor guy, he must be terribly conflicted at this point.
"Well, as long as you keep them out of sight, I won't call the cops."
I just said, "thanks".
He came into the garage when I just happened to be unpacking the "brewing stuff" box. He left really quickly upon seeing the IC and Erlenmeyer flasks... Poor guy, he must be terribly conflicted at this point.
onipar
Well-Known Member
Glad it got a laugh, Pappers.
motleybrews, that's really cool! Well, not the drunk neighbor, but the impromptu tasting with the police.
mattd2, oh yeah, I like to pair beer with different kinds of food too. But my impression was that the boss was using the cheese to mask the flavor of the beer because he didn't like it. I think I will ask what kind of cheese though and hope that it wasn't "whiz." :cross:
motleybrews, that's really cool! Well, not the drunk neighbor, but the impromptu tasting with the police.
mattd2, oh yeah, I like to pair beer with different kinds of food too. But my impression was that the boss was using the cheese to mask the flavor of the beer because he didn't like it. I think I will ask what kind of cheese though and hope that it wasn't "whiz." :cross:
For some reason that gave me a very very very bad mental image of you boss in his office with a bud and some cheese whiz :cross:
onipar
Well-Known Member
That reminds me of the one time that I drank a Chelada (Bud).
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