The stupidest comment on your beer

Yakima 728
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bniesen said:
Corona with a lime however, just tastes like piss with lime in it to me.
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Fixed.

Had some friends over for a BBQ a few weeks back. Had a dark mild, Belgian single and strawberry Ginger kolsch. I give my friend a mild.

Me: Hey this is a dark mild. Dark and toasty but only 3.5% abv.

Him: Yeah it's okay. But it's kind of mild.
 
Reno_eNVy_446 said:
LULZ, wut??! :D

You don't even get close to 50% from a 60 minute boil... not even 120 minute boil.

Show that assclown this graph from BYO vol. 17 (you may have to explain how to read graphs to him. He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed.... or just a tool)

0709111424.jpg
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I think the point was probably that 15 - 20 mins of boiling hops gives you about half of the ULTIMATE utilization possible. That is to say, hop utilization is not a linear function of time. That chart clearly illustrates such a point.

But, no reason for the fellow who said it to be a smart-aleck or insulting about it, of course.
 
jaginger said:
I think the point was probably that 15 - 20 mins of boiling hops gives you about half of the ULTIMATE utilization possible. That is to say, hop utilization is not a linear function of time. That chart clearly illustrates such a point.

But, no reason for the fellow who said it to be a smart-aleck or insulting about it, of course.
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Yup, that's why I took an interest in the story :D
 
Matt Up North said:
You sir are my long lost twin. I HATE it when someone says, "Not Bad." Couldn't you say something more productive like, "This is good and I wasn't expecting to enjoy it." Or just tell me that it is nasty. I am not going to serve something that I think tastes like monkey butt. Now, if I have a lambic and you don't know it is going to be sour, then by god I will explain to you the characteristics, let you know that I am not going to give you a glass, but you can taste. If you like it, we will go from there.

I did that experiment with some Two Buck Chuck at a wine party. I put it into a $120 bottle of wine bottle and told everyone that it was a very expensive bottle, that I only wanted the people that really enjoy wine to try it and if you don't think you are snobby enough then don't drink it. Every one of the people were so freaking high up that they tasted things in it that I didn't even know existed. Here they were waxing poetic under the assumption that the wine was expensive and meanwhile I just sat back and let them have a good time. They even clapped me on the back and thanked me for bringing such a rare and spectacular treat.
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Haha! That is awesome. It makes me think again about what my perceptions are. Is there a way to get past this? I don't think I have very good perception of a lot of things and I want to learn how to actually taste beer, and not just make up a perception/judgement of it.
 
We had a pool party this weekend, and had a bunch of people asking to try my homebrew. I had more good feedback than not, but I gave my currently fav IPA to a guy who said he loved IPAs, and he was going nuts...every drink was an "oh man" "mmm" *smacks lips* :) but then he handed it to another guy who just came down saying "I heard you got some special brew down here". He hands it to the guy while saying "Man that is an awesome beer!!"...the other guy takes one drink and makes the bitter beer face: "WHAT?!? NO IT'S NOT!!!"....I just laughed. Another guy who tried the same beer said "wow that tastes like marijuana beer!!" Why yes...yes it does :D

Then there was a girl who was over that wanted to try my beer, and apparently had also been brewing over the last 3 months or so.

She tries the ESB, and says ooohh its BITTER(while it IS an ESB, this is probably the least bitter beer I have: I used minimal hops, a mix of mainly american malts(what I had on hand), and S-04 so it was just kind of a boring English knock-off IMHO). Yet, doesn't say anything about the IPA being bitter at all. So once I finally got to the bottom of what kind of beer the girl likes(since the only style she could give me was "micro-brews") I give her my "big-ass porter"....it was apparently love at first sip :) However a few of them agreed that they got an "olive" smell from it, but loved it!

So this girl also brought over a few of her own brews that she wanted us to try, and wanted us to fill out her tasting sheet. Apparently they were heavy sipping beer, so we waited until a little later, since it was easily 100 degrees out that day. So by this time, EVERYBODY was pretty saucy, and a handful of us are trying samples of the 2 beers she brought. The first one was almost like a dubbel, it had a nice carmelly taste, kind of light bodied and drinkable. The other was supposed to be "darker" and more chocolatey and roasty like my porter. Upon tasting it, it was like a spiced holiday beer. We all agreed it had an egg-nog smell(I couldn't take a taste until I figured out what the aroma was...it was quite pungent)....then someone sas "IT SMELLS LIKE ASS!"....well, can you guess what her tasting sheet said?!

Haha she was a good sport, and our criticism was mostly constructive but it was pretty entertaining. Good thing this thread is under drunken ramblings and mindless mumblings, because thats exactly what this post was :)
 
chapa said:
We had a pool party this weekend, and had a bunch of people asking to try my homebrew. I had more good feedback than not, but I gave my currently fav IPA to a guy who said he loved IPAs, and he was going nuts...every drink was an "oh man" "mmm" *smacks lips* :) but then he handed it to another guy who just came down saying "I heard you got some special brew down here". He hands it to the guy while saying "Man that is an awesome beer!!"...the other guy takes one drink and makes the bitter beer face: "WHAT?!? NO IT'S NOT!!!"....I just laughed. Another guy who tried the same beer said "wow that tastes like marijuana beer!!" Why yes...yes it does :D
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There's a local brewpub in Reno that has an IPA that smells exactly like sticky. Pretty sure it's Chinook with either Cascade or Centennial that gives that result. Is that what you used?
 
When talking to a coworker about my beer making he said that I should bring over some of my beers sometime. I told him yeah sure, but unless you like different kinds of beers you won't like them. He responded with "yeah I drink all different kinds of beers bud light, miller light, keystone, coors light, and even bud heavy sometimes."
 
I'm talking to some people about homebrewing in a park, and this guy who overhears the conversation says: "Have you been visited by the ATF yet?"
 
LVBen said:
I'm talking to some people about homebrewing in a park, and this guy who overhears the conversation says: "Have you been visited by the ATF yet?"
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I'm more worried about my craiglist Keggle than the ATF after hearing about the local AB distributer trying to arrest a homebrewer.
 
Reno_eNVy_446 said:
There's a local brewpub in Reno that has an IPA that smells exactly like sticky. Pretty sure it's Chinook with either Cascade or Centennial that gives that result. Is that what you used?
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Cascade and Amarillo and I usually use 1/2 ratio of Chinook, but I only had less than an oz left, so I subbed some Simcoe. It is a delicious combo!
 
Basic story is this - dude has article written about him in paper for his homebrewing prowess and it includes a picture of his AB keggle. AB distributor reads paper, gets pissed about people stealing kegs, and tries to have him arrested.
 
All apparently worked out well. The kegs were legally purchased and he had receipts from the scrap yard. Cops reportedly told the OP that the distributor's complaint was "ridiculous."
 
So the folks who ask experienced homebrewers to "make me something exactly like Budweiser," do they go to a fancy Italian restaurant and say "chef, I know you have a huge repertoire of recipes but I want you to make me something exactly like Chef Boyardee spaghetti-os" or, at a rib joint, do they tell the chef "forget your family recipe, I want you to make me some fried chicken exactly like KFC"?
 
brewthunda said:
I've carbed with CO2 from a seedy paintball supply shop and CO2 from a beer supply place. The paintball gas had a funny metallic/chemical smell to it - like if you huffed your half-empty glass, you'd get a nosefull and wonder what was up. It wasn't just green beer, either, the smell was really noticeable in soda water. So I think asking someone where they get their gas is a totally legit question.
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beninan said:
I wonder if maybe the CO2 that you are getting from the paintball shop isn't pure CO2, and maybe that's where the off flavors are comming from. I know when I went to get my tank, they asked me if it was for a beverage use, so maybe there's some purity differences in some filling stations.

EDIT: I didn't see Hegh's post directly above me
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I know this is pages and pages back, but having worked at a paintball field and playing for a lot of years (some professionaly) I can tell you that the CO2 most likely had a fair amount of oil in it. Like, watery, gold, lube-your-orings oil. It can pick up a very metallic smell and feel when it's stored in or used on metal surfaces :p
 
JonM said:
So the folks who ask experienced homebrewers to "make me something exactly like Budweiser," do they go to a fancy Italian restaurant and say "chef, I know you have a huge repertoire of recipes but I want you to make me something exactly like Chef Boyardee spaghetti-os" or, at a rib joint, do they tell the chef "forget your family recipe, I want you to make me some fried chicken exactly like KFC"?
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Well, sure, but there is some kind of recipe they're patterning it after - IE, the real deal. I guess I don't know enough about what Budwieser is. What is the real version of what they're trying to copy? Do they just do a poor job at imitating it?

Otherwise, maybe it's like certain processed foods that some people really like, that foodies really scorn but the taste just can't be gotten anywhere else. Something like, hm, twizzlers? Definitely NOT licorice, but some people love them and you couldn't make it.
 
BonnieJ said:
Well, sure, but there is some kind of recipe they're patterning it after - IE, the real deal. I guess I don't know enough about what Budwieser is. What is the real version of what they're trying to copy? Do they just do a poor job at imitating it?

Otherwise, maybe it's like certain processed foods that some people really like, that foodies really scorn but the taste just can't be gotten anywhere else. Something like, hm, twizzlers? Definitely NOT licorice, but some people love them and you couldn't make it.
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wwwwwWWWWHOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHhh...

That's the sound of the joke flying over your head at 500mph.
 
I typically brew IPAs, DIPAs, and Brown Ales. I posted a question on my facebook page on what to brew next.

A friend said "a good chocolate stout."

I replied "I'll do that one in the the fall/winter, stouts aren't good summer poolside ales."

Another friend said "All your beers are stout, why don't you do something lighter?"

And I am thinking you don't know what a stout is if Pliny and Samuel Smith Nut Brown clones registers the response "stout."
 
This is an old story that I forgot to post here when it happened but I still tell people about it all the time.

My MIL was visiting for the first time after SWMBO and I started brewing, and we told her she could try one at dinner and she said 'That would be great! I've never had brewed beer before! Well, unless you count microbrews...'

Still not sure what that was supposed to mean.
 
slowbie, I think that means she "gets it."

I'm going to assume that by "never had brewed beer before" means she assumes BMC is hobo piss, like a large majority of us do. :D :D
 
Yeah, she probably meant "craft brewed" as opposed to industrially produced. Still a funny story! "I've never had bread that was baked before, except from the local bakery. Mostly only supermarket bread!" heh...
 
BonnieJ said:
Ahh, what happens when you're semi-chronically sleep-deprived :p (new baby in the house.)
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HAHA! Yeah, that'll happen :D


So this isn't necessarily a stupid comment, but it's a silly action. SWMBO and I went to Great Basin Brewery, by far the best brewpub in Nevada. They have 5 flagship brews and usually 10 or so other taps for rotating styles. So SWMBO gets their trademark beer, Ichthyosaur IPA ("It's not Yucky, It's ICKY!") and I get a English Pale Ale. Our server doesn't bring out the beers, but instead it's a manager. He asks which one we each got and hands us which ones he thinks they are. Before tasting or even smelling the beers, we could tell from the color that they were swapped (seriously, only a difference of 1 or 2 SRM.) So we traded them and, sure enough, the one SWMBO gave me had English hops and the one I gave her was a fantastic hop-bomb of American hops.

Seriously, if you're a brewpub that takes serious pride in your best-selling Icky (to the point they're now bottling that brew) you'd think a manager would get it right. He probably figured we were a couple of stupid kids who don't know anything about beer (I'm 25, SWMBO 23)
 
I was at a cook out last night and someone pulled out a bottle of apple pie moonshine. I told the girl sitting next to me that i love homemade stuff. she says she brews beer. to make a long story shot, i'll just list a couple of the things that came out of her mouth.

-she uses wild yeast made from corn since its organic
-her stout has an abv of 80%
-its not really beer its more like "between beer and liquor" since the alchol was above that of coors light (what she was drinking)

I eventually just walked away mid sentence.
 
King MF Midas said:
I was at a cook out last night and someone pulled out a bottle of apple pie moonshine. I told the girl sitting next to me that i love homemade stuff. she says she brews beer. to make a long story shot, i'll just list a couple of the things that came out of her mouth.

-she uses wild yeast made from corn since its organic
-her stout has an abv of 80%
-its not really beer its more like "between beer and liquor" since the alchol was above that of coors light (what she was drinking)

I eventually just walked away mid sentence.
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Sippin on Apple Pie currently myself! We also have Peach Cobbler shine that is amazing... I need to come north a few hours to see how to make 80% beer without a big copper tube and kettle!
 
King MF Midas said:
I was at a cook out last night and someone pulled out a bottle of apple pie moonshine. I told the girl sitting next to me that i love homemade stuff. she says she brews beer. to make a long story shot, i'll just list a couple of the things that came out of her mouth.

-she uses wild yeast made from corn since its organic
-her stout has an abv of 80%
-its not really beer its more like "between beer and liquor" since the alchol was above that of coors light (what she was drinking)

I eventually just walked away mid sentence.
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Heh, well I give her props for the DIY-ness of it. Really the only comment there that has me totally facepalming is the 80% ABV thing.

It reminds me of another story... one I call "The Amazing Fifty Proof Man":

Maaaany years ago, I was in a bar with a coupe of female friends of mine. A guy comes over and starts hitting on one of them, which was alright with me, I wasn't dating either of them (they ended up going on like one date, which was apparently lousy, haha). I'm mostly talking to my other friend, not paying much attention, but he gets to this point where he starts talking about how he got caught drunk driving. He says that when they tested his BAC, it was 25%. I just HAD to chime in at that point:

"I think you mean POINT two-five percent."
"No man, it was 25%. I was really trashed."
"Um, okay, haha, I know, but you mean 0.25%. 25% would kill you."
"Not me and my friends, you don't know how much we used to drink!"
"Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure... but 25% would still kill you. It would kill anyone. ONE percent will kill you. Most people would be well-past dead at 0.50%, though some isolated cases have been reported of some hardcore alcoholics surviving a fair bit past that. It was 0.25%."
"You have no idea what you are talking about. I was so trashed I could barely stand up."
(One wonders what he was doing driving, of course)
"Yep, that sounds about right for 0.25%."
"I was there and you weren't!"

At that point, I just nodded and laughed and said, "Whatever, buddy," to which he responded with some comment about a "****-eating grin," and long story short we almost came to blows. :tank:
 
jsweet said:
"I think you mean POINT two-five percent."
"No man, it was 25%. I was really trashed."
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Sounds like the guy who called Verizon and asked them what his data plan charged him when he is in Canada. They quoted him "point zero zero two cents per kilobyte" ($.00002/kB). He said OK and used his data while on a trip to Canada. When he got the bill, he found out that he was charge .2 cents/kilobyte ($.002/kB). He called up Verizon and could not, for the life of him, convince the representatives that "point zero zero two cents" is drastically different from "point zero zero two dollars".

A snippet from the conversation:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Yep, very much like that. (BTW, for those who haven't heard it, that was a mercifully short snippet of the Verizon decimal point saga. I was literally shaking after about 10 minutes into the unedited thing...

People have trouble with orders of magnitude. Which is the reason people will get all up in arms if some federally-funded scientific study cost four million dollars, but won't bat an eyelash at a pair of wars that cost four trillion dollars. Fourillion here, fourillion there... about the same, right?

Oh wait, only off by a factor of a MILLION. But then again, the problem to begin with is nobody knows what a million is, so hey. Could be the same as a factor of ten for all I know, right?
 

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