Zombie Plan

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After detaining and mounting an explosive vest on a Zombie, let him return to the Zombie Horde and then detonate the vest.

Zombies don't mind wearing clothes, and I don't recall ever seeing a naked Zombie, so a concealed explosive vest won't raise suspicion.
 
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^^^^^ is good training for the coming invasion. You can learn the different types of zombies and their strengths and weaknesses. I bet it will help ease the learning curve once it is for real.
 
All I know is that Henry's gonna need something bigger than the Walther...


or at least more accurate...



EDIT: Ah, changed to the .357 mag? Or is that bigger...can't tell. Either way that should work.
 
Microwave beam emitters places all around the compound. Tap into a a geothermal power supply.

The stench of cooked and melted zombie may overwhelm you though.

+1 on secured Island. You'll wanna make sure it's wel equipped and has garden space. Might want build a geothermal power plant on it as well.

Myself, I am installing a dead man switch. If I go then the whole world goes.
 
I think that even with beam emitters, you would have to worry about high traffic areas where several migh come in at once protecting each other like meat shields. For those, high traffic areas, I think I would have to use claymore mines to thin the herd a little. And beam emiters at head/ neck height to get walking zombies and also at about 6" off of the ground for those legless crawling zombies and to also get any furry forrest critters. Kind of a two-for.
 
I was going to ask if zombies could swim, I guess that confirms it.

Edit: This seems to be helpful http://www.zombiesecrets.com/

Can zombies swim?

That's another difficult question to answer because we really don't know what type of muscle functions they'll have. Swimming requires a complex coordination of movements of major muscle groups which the zombie may or may not be capable of. Most likely, they would avoid the water.

However, dead bodies in water do bloat and end up floating, sometimes for long distances. Also, dead corpses decay slower in water so the zombies would potentially have a time advantage in the water.

Your best bet if zombies do attack is not to isolate yourself on a boat where you could run out of supplies, be stranded, and eventually die anyway. You would be better off traveling to an island that has limited contact with any mainland continent. It's a safe bet that if zombies attacked North America or Europe, one-way plane tickets to Australia would be a hot commodity.
 
With the coming release of Zombieland I thought it might be about time to dredge this back up. I also have a new upgrade on a part of my personal zombie plan that I call her "Ma' Bell".

0441.JPG



Reach out, Reach Out and Touch someone........
 
My zombie plan pretty much involves me wearing chain mail because that way it will make it harder for a zombie to reach my flesh. I would probably arm myself with a samurai sword or any other really shard blade for melee.
 
I think Ma' Bell is less about zappin zombie meat puppets and more about protecting my family and resources from other survivors. As in "Those are my hops biotch!"
 
travestyofnature said:
With the coming release of Zombieland I thought it might be about time to dredge this back up. I also have a new upgrade on a part of my personal zombie plan that I call her "Ma' Bell".

0441.JPG



Reach out, Reach Out and Touch someone........
Click to expand...

bless it! I'm just going to destroy the earth (massive earth destroying explosion type cataclysm thing). Lets see them fvckers survive that!! BWAAHAHHAAAHHAHAHHAA

Earth_Exploding.jpg
 
As a minister I believe during the zombiepocalypse I'll be granted refuge by my paritioners. What's more important is my capacity to bless water which will then be used as a flesh & bone melting weapon of mass destruction against all of zombie kind. I'll be like johnnie apple-seed, only with a bible & bag of water balloons crisscrossing the nation returning these reanimated beast to their perminant resting place... HELL!!!!

Well there's that and plan B, stay in good enough shape to always outrun my congregants! :) Good thing they don't read HBT or they'd know my plan and expel me from church!

Schlante,
Phillip

Ps don't tell me this won't work... it's as plausable as anything else we've seen in movies.
 
1. Now THAT'S a congregation I could get used to.

2. I heard from the Civilian Brewing Program that Trappist Ale Repels Zombies. I immediately brewed up a batch and now must have it on hand at all times.

40486_1.jpg
 
Kass_Brauhaus said:
2. I heard from the Civilian Brewing Program that Trappist Ale Repels Zombies. I immediately brewed up a batch and now must have it on hand at all times.
Click to expand...

As for Trappist ale... Gotta drink more, it might increase my powers over the coming plague of zombified flesh. *note to self* Must brew Chimay Blue clone to have on had for repelling of zombie hoards!

Schlante,
Phillip
 
I think trappist ale only works as a repellant if it was brewed by monks. If you make a trappist style beer, and aren't a monk, i think it's only as good as any other beer for zombie blood virus immunization.
 
Can we all become ordained ministers for the First Church of the Ultimate Brewing Fanaticism? Then, with how much we brew, we could be considered monks. Maybe not Trappist monks, but monks nonetheless...
 
Henry Hill said:
After detaining and mounting an explosive vest on a Zombie, let him return to the Zombie Horde and then detonate the vest.

Zombies don't mind wearing clothes, and I don't recall ever seeing a naked Zombie, so a concealed explosive vest won't raise suspicion.
Click to expand...

if you don't recall ever seeng a naked zombie you should come over to my house and see some of my movies. grub girl, the porno directed by craven moorehead for starters, or zombie strippers, starring robert engleund and jenna jameson, and about any seduction cinema movie would do also.

as for my zombie plan, many years ago i bought the book "zombie survival guide" by max brooks. it goes, in great detail about how to identify zombies, the various stages of zombies, and how to survive the zombie apocolypse. it's a necessity in every mans home in my opinion.

oh, and for the record, if you have sex with a zombie, it does NOT make you a necrophiliac.

 
KingBrianI said:
I think trappist ale only works as a repellant if it was brewed by monks. If you make a trappist style beer, and aren't a monk, i think it's only as good as any other beer for zombie blood virus immunization.
Click to expand...
You're bringing into question a major part of my zombie plan. I'm a protestant minister, not Catholic. For the record we don't bless water, but when zombiepocalypse 2012 occurs I plan on blessing it by the truck loads. It's my firm belief that my blessing is as good as a Catholic priests' blessing of said water for use as a weapon against the evil reanimated! If this is true, then surely any bier brewed by me would possess the same powers as bier brewed by trappist monks... I mean come on I'm WAY more involved in my bier's creation than most of the monks! There, I'm a man of the cloth, my bier is as good at repelling zombies as is Trappist ale!

Kass_Brauhaus said:
Can we all become ordained ministers for the First Church of the Ultimate Brewing Fanaticism? Then, with how much we brew, we could be considered monks. Maybe not Trappist monks, but monks nonetheless...
Click to expand...
You could become an ordained minister for like $10 online... it may be the church of bob or some such... but you'll be ordained. I don't think it'd do you any good though. It's more of are you a 'holy man/woman' vs title or certificate... I could be wrong, we won't know until the zombie hoards approach. However I do see a solution. You'll need to send a sample of all bier brewed to me, or revvy for that matter. I can bless this portion of your brew and the whole batch will be like acid to the reanimated!!! Heck I bet it even taste better.
 
MVKTR2 said:
However I do see a solution. You'll need to send a sample of all bier brewed to me, or revvy for that matter. I can bless this portion of your brew and the whole batch will be like acid to the reanimated!!! Heck I bet it even taste better.
Click to expand...

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
 
Jesus Cheeto, who would have thought that Cracked would actually have a serious, well thought out and well written article? I guess now that the Onion is out spoofing the spoofers, the spoofers have to become the serious journalistic outlets? Look at TMZ, that's becomming as serious as the New York Times, these days.

Thanks I feel beter already!
 
My zombie plan will depend on quite a few things. Mostly, what I am dealing with??? Are we talking about the slow shuffling "BbbRrrAaaIiiNnnSssssss...." zombies here or the super fast ultra cannibal killing machines?

For the 1st: I would get a Hazmat suit and a baseball bat. Think Tee-ball on legs, for grown ups.

For the later, Move north with as many supplies as possible. It has occurred to me that zombies can probably cross water. I am willing to gamble that since they have nothing that generates heat they will freeze solid pretty quickly...Then it is pretty simple to behead them and toss them onto a pyre.
 
What you want for a zombie survival plan is to get out into the wilderness, make a structure of some sort in the trees, and only leave when you need supplies.

As for the prime way to kill a zombie, if you're going for a gun you should be using a .22 caliber rifle. The ammo is really cheap and abundant and it has enough power to get through the skull but not enough to make it out the other side. Because of this it'll bounce around inside the skull and destroy the brain like a charm. If you're going for close combat hand-to-hand I would go with a good strong machete. The problem that I see with things like sledge hammers, axes, and chainsaws is that they're unwieldy and easy to get off balance when using them.

Just my input on the topic. It's something that I've thought about (I have both a .22 and a machete).
 
overdrive said:
...if you're going for a gun you should be using a .22 caliber rifle.

Just my input on the topic. It's something that I've thought about (I have both a .22 and a machete).
Click to expand...

QFT

I just thought that since the survivalists firearm of choice was the .22 that I would have mine along as a given. .22 ammo is the best because of the power .vs size of cartridge. I can easily carry 5000 rounds of .22 ammo can you say the same for any other weapon other than air rifles?

And for those all to pesky close encounter zombies, that are the fast and deadly kind, I will take: http://airgunstyle.com/shinsung-car....html?osCsid=dcc140605d9209b81bb9771097e08506 over just about anything. Yes, that is a 50 cal air rifle.
 
I can't believe I'm so late to this thread... Zombies and Apocalypse are two of my favorite things!

I have an Eastman X-bow, 105 fps for when I don't want to draw attention with a firearm.
A .22 with lots of ammo for when noise is less of a concern.
2 Stanley FUBARS, 18" and 30".

Specific tactics will, as many posters before me have said, depend on the type of zombie involved.

I have a good supply of food though, as I have seen in the last few years potential for natural disaster preventing me from grocery shopping. I think I could hold out a month with the supplies that I have, and given that most of my neighbours aren't armed (I'm Canadian) their food will be available once they become zombies themselves.
 
I all. After spending the last year killing off the hybrids... I have given up and I am back.

The Zombie Cougar-Bear hybrids were a mistake. The first batch went ok, but they kept trying to jump onto brances and there wait woould lead to falling on to rocks below.

Then my assistant mistalenly thought Cougar was a aging horny female human and well, that combo resulted in horny zombie she bears mating with every dead animal in the forest. Have you ever tried to track horny she bears in an extremely large forest? Especially undead ones?

I am no longer working with zombies. They are an undead enitity that can bite you in the ass (amopng other parts).

I am now spending most of my energy building up my undead vampire/werewolves and experimenting on merging these with Sasquatch DNA. I am hoping to use such a crossbreed army to guard my headquarters while the zombie forest creature menace builds.

Sasquatch DNA is hard to pbtain and accoring to Natove lore has mythical properties which may in fact be anti-undead. If I can isolate and remove the anti-undead chromozones while keeping the rest I may have the key to the ultimate in undead crossbreeds!

Oh, and I carry two Taurus "The Judge" pistols loaded with .454 Casull rounds for personal zombie protection.
 

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