Zombie Plan

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travestyofnature

travestyofnature

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So, with some of this free time I have here I'm trying to formulate my zombie plan. I know its probably a little late in the game. I'm almost 35 and have kids so I should have come up with a zombie plan a long long time ago. Anyway, I'm doing research and was wondering who else has a zombie plan, what it is, if you will share (I know some people get defensive about sharing their secret plans for when zombies take over the earth). And maybe if anyone has any input as to the best ways to kill zombies and/or defend your loved ones and brews from them.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
ty

:confused:
 
My secret plan for killing Zombies,

SHHHH


"The View" (yes the TV Show)

To kill a zombie, you must destroy its brain,
and what better way to do that than listening to Starr Jones and Meredith Viera?


huge flat screen TV's in the windows of my house !
-Jason
 
So is it destroy the brain or totally remove the head. I was always confused about that one. I have always been under the asumption that a bullet to the head, or ax or shovel would do.
 
That seems like a whole lot of extra effort wasting time and probably precious resources to remove a whole head when a simple killing blow into the brain with a pick-head axe would do just fine.

Why the whole head? I think you're overdoing it.
 
Well, technically, older zombie's brains will likely have shrunk considerably, with some, it might bounce around their skulls like a gumball in a growler... Maybe I'm over thinking this. I'll have to start work on my anti-zombie electromagnetic superconducting particle accelerating discombobulator. :drunk:

EDIT: In the meantime, you can practice with a different discombobulator: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/275479
 
Zombies can only be stopped by destruction of the cerebellum or the brain stem.
What better way to do that then to completely remove the head !
GW327H220


And the shear enjoyment of it !
 
Like most things, even the things of utmost importance, I put it off; until now.

Thanks for the Zombie Plan Advisory, I will be putting all my thoughts towards developing an Emergency Zombie Protocol, for when the need arises.

And F*** the neighbors ;when the time comes, it's me and mine, and I have no room for stragglers and leeches.
 
Yeah, so its obviously everyone for themselves, thats why I wasn't sure anyone would add info or just hoard their zombie plan ideas for themselves so their wouldn't be any competition. I'm still for an axe tho. Or a sledgehammer. Maybe its just me tho.
 
Zombies don't attack everyone at once, so sharing of tactics and weapons is still completely fair.

It's just that 'oh, they won't attack me' mindset that is most dangerous, and delusional.
 
Your safest option is distance. .50 cal BMG as long as you're trained and practiced with it will drop a zombie. Decapitation is the best method but often requires close combat. Risky behavior. Due to ammunition shortages, one shot-one kill is essential. Katanas or machetees work well. Plan your escape routes and get away from dense populations (number of people versus blond Hollywood types :D ).
 
So, chatting with the SWMBO in a sidebar about this too. She's led me into two ideas:

A: She says imobilization then extermination which got me thinkin about turning the entire yard around the house into a giant sticky trap. The dispose of at my leisure.

and

B: As a last resort, I'm going to use her as live bait to save the kids and I.




Side note. While the .50BMG is kewl as shi* especially on the Barret platform, I wouldn't really want to do that all day. Thats way too much. .223 reminton with lots of hollowpoint boattails would be the way to go.
 
Being skilled with the M2 .50cal BMG, I don't feel that it would do the job needed.

158_5857_img.jpg

Yes, if you want to slow the advance of a large group of them this it by far the method of choice, but not for individual kills !
 
travestyofnature said:
So, chatting with the SWMBO in a sidebar about this too. She's led me into two ideas:

A: She says imobilization then extermination which got me thinkin about turning the entire yard around the house into a giant sticky trap. The dispose of at my leisure.

and

B: As a last resort, I'm going to use her as live bait to save the kids and I.




Side note. While the .50BMG is kewl as shi* especially on the Barret platform, I wouldn't really want to do that all day. Thats way too much. .223 reminton with lots of hollowpoint boattails would be the way to go.
Click to expand...

It would have to be Barret. Without that howitzer muzzle break it would be major pain. .223 is easy to shoot but doesn't have that downrange destruction you need. Portability also leaves the .50 out but for home base it would be a major booty kicker.
Closer range would be a shotgun.
 
Cheeto said:
Being skilled with the M2 .50cal BMG, I don't feel that it would do the job needed.

158_5857_img.jpg

Yes, if you want to slow the advance of a large group of them this it by far the method of choice, but not for individual kills !
Click to expand...

Although I do believe Carlos Hathcock used one with a scope mounted on it. He did pretty well. ;)
 
I think you have to think longer term than than. Guns run out of ammo, chainsaws run out of fuel but a good sledhammer just keeps on kicken but+!!

The zombie swarm link was helpfull, great practice and a way to keep those skills sharpened for THE DAY!
 
Hey!!!! hold the phone PAL!!!!

We are all home brewers here !
I can make fuel for a chainsaw!
and if that fails the Hooch I made could be used on the Neighbors so I don't have to throw SWMBO at the zombies !
 
travestyofnature said:
I think you have to think longer term than than. Guns run out of ammo, chainsaws run out of fuel but a good sledhammer just keeps on kicken but+!!

The zombie swarm link was helpfull, great practice and a way to keep those skills sharpened for THE DAY!
Click to expand...

You would be correct.
Bottom line is weapons that don't require limited resources, a safe escape plan, rations that will last and are transportable. Everything must be easily transported.
Sever the brain stem from as far away as possible.
Stealth, so they don't detect you.
 
Ok, but are all Zombies created equal? Older zombies, fresher zombies? Is there officail zombie termanology that I'm missing here?
 
I can think of a few different classes of Zombie


Rage zombie they die in two months or sooner avoid at all cost they die similar to humans and they don't eat the living

Slave zombie part of the voodoo curse and are normally not undead but humans on drugs they can be killed like humans. Can also be detoxed back to human, but may be brain damaged (though no longer a zombie).

Demon zombies this are possessed corpse by ghost / demons it is possible that a spell or exorcism may be needed (evil dead 1, 2, 3)

Ghoul Zombie they kill and eat humans slow stupid mindless corpses (George Romero movies) a bullet to the head normally kills them or decapitation maybe afraid of fire, also easy to burn and possible kill with fire

Reanimated Corpse Zombie the body must be completely destroyed or the pieces will keep coming after you (return of the living dead 1, 2, 3 not 4 or 5) use fire, acid or a deep freezer. They can run and some remain human for a short time even if they are a zombie may not kill friends or family. They may also have memories of their former self and possible be able to talk

I could be missing a few but I think this covers most of them
 
Holy crap thats a lot of good info.

I also found this, looks like the freakin Haitians will be to blamed for the zombie spread -


Dr. Wade Davis has chronicled his studies of Haitian zombies
in "The Serpent and the Rainbow" and "The Passage of Darkness."
Narcisse was the impetus for the Zombie Project -- a study into the origins of zombies conducted in Haiti between 1982 and 1984. During that time, ethnobotanist and anthropologist Dr. Wade Davis traveled through Haiti in the hopes of discovering what causes Haitian zombies.

Next, we'll look at what Davis discovered.

Zombies and Haitian Law
A law that seems to condemn zombie creation went into effect in Haiti in 1835 [ref]. Article 246 of the Haitian Penal Code classifies the administration of a substance that creates a prolonged period of lethargy without causing death as attempted murder. If the substance causes the appearance of death and results in the burial of the victim, the act is classified as murder.
 
travestyofnature said:
So, with some of this free time I have here I'm trying to formulate my zombie plan. I know its probably a little late in the game. I'm almost 35 and have kids so I should have come up with a zombie plan a long long time ago. Anyway, I'm doing research and was wondering who else has a zombie plan, what it is, if you will share (I know some people get defensive about sharing their secret plans for when zombies take over the earth). And maybe if anyone has any input as to the best ways to kill zombies and/or defend your loved ones and brews from them.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
ty

:confused:
Click to expand...

My Zombie plan: Don't have kids. :p
 
Lets get back on topic here, we are trying to figure out the best ways to kill off the zobmies that are attacking you or your family.

Figuring out the types of Zombies in another discussion for later.

Right now lets get back to killing them off.

I still feel that it is imparative that you remove the head !
shooting it or bashing it in is not enough!
 
or for you non-killing what about the senerio at the end of " Shaun of the Dead"
where they are domesticated? is that an option?
 
Just thinkin here while in Iraq, what about the deliberate use of zombies by the military. Releasing zombies or bombing zombie making juice on target areas? What if thats how it starts? How would that affect your zombie plan?
 
Here are my zombie self defense guidlines formulated by years of bad tv if anyone wants to use them in their plan;

Don't panic.
Get away from the zombies. Most of the time, you can move faster than they can.
Gather food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons, and retreat to a secure location.
If possible, retreat to a shopping mall, general retail store or other location where you'll have easy access to food and supplies.
Stay away from densely populated areas, where the infestation is likely to be heaviest.
Barricade all entrances and stay put at all costs.
Don't get surrounded or backed into a corner or other enclosed space.
Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and your party.
Wait patiently for rescue and make long-term preparations for your survival.

An important rule of zombie survival: Don't get surrounded.

Also, avoid common mistakes like:

Sheltering in a vehicle to which you do not have the keys
Leaving blades, cudgels or other basic weapons out for zombies to find
Teaching zombies how to use firearms
Giving your only weapon to anyone who is hysterical
Retreating to a basement or cellar without taking supplies with you
Getting into an elevator in a building infested with zombies
Letting personal feelings and arguments get in the way of survival
 
Cheeto said:
or for you non-killing what about the senerio at the end of " Shaun of the Dead"
where they are domesticated? is that an option?
Click to expand...

You'd probly end up with some liberal nut-job pushing for the rights of zombies. You'd also have to define what kind of jobs zombies could and could not be used for. And really, how usefull could a zombie be?
 
travestyofnature said:
Just thinkin here while in Iraq, what about the deliberate use of zombies by the military. Releasing zombies or bombing zombie making juice on target areas? What if thats how it starts? How would that affect your zombie plan?
Click to expand...


what would you use to control them?

large shock collars ?
big-dog-shock-collar.jpg

cattle prods ?



stockprod.jpg
 
Zombie jobs ?
hmm
I have read something about that

Oh there is a Wiki about "Z-Day"

Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki - Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki

here are some of the uses listed (freaking weirdos)

1. Manual Labor: Like some of you may have noticed in Shaun of the Dead, it may be possible that zombies can be used for manual labor. Remember toward the end where they had the one collecting carts? The degree to which zombies can be trained would of course limit what they could do, but there are certainly an array of possibilities. Crude slave labor such as what the Egyptians used to build the pyramids. Assembly line workers that go 24 hours a day with no breaks. Really almost anything you would want a robot to do.
2. Sex Slave: This one may be a little awkward. No one admits it but many have thought it. If zombies remain...fresh?...they may still have some appeal. And depending on how much function they retain, they may prove more useful. All sorts of dark fantasies could be played out.Obviously this is a rather...unsavory example, but it may be a way to cut down on rape if the rapist can have their way with a zombie.
3. Stunt Doubles: Need to see a real body in the car when it goes off the cliff and explodes? Fake arms just won't do the trick for the next chainsaw horror flick? Want to see Mel Gibson really Crucify someone? Get a zombie to do it! Suffering no pain, mouthing no complaints, totally expendable, and you don't need to pay them! Set them on fire, cut them in half, have Chuck Norris break their limbs, whatever you need, get a zombie for your next action/horror film!

4. Entertainment: Need something bigger than a rat to run your maze? Nobody willing to fight the heavyweight champ? Want to see those WWE guys REALLY perform the moves?
How about reality TV or game shows? Target practice, we have all said this one! See who would really win a fight, the shark or the zombie. And there is no end to the gambling possibilities.
Why hire people when you could simply tie the balloon strings to zombies for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?
5. Military: From training troops to doing the unthinkable to your enemy by releasing a horde on their stronghold, it doesn't take a genius to find SOME military application for the undead.
6. Research: Probably how the whole mess will get started!
 
Cheeto, think you're right about electricity as the prime method to control them. They're not supposed to feel pain so you would need something to severely impact nervous funtion. I was thinking about something just a little more powerfull tho.

220px-Police_issue_X26_TASER.jpg
 
Cheeto said:
Sex Slave[/B]: This one may be a little awkward. No one admits it but many have thought it. If zombies remain...fresh?...they may still have some appeal. And depending on how much function they retain, they may prove more useful. All sorts of dark fantasies could be played out.Obviously this is a rather...unsavory example, but it may be a way to cut down on rape if the rapist can have their way with a zombie.[/size]
Click to expand...


oh look a Zombie
Sexy%20Zombie.jpg


yeah, I don't think so !

But, I think I may have found Deathbrewer's new assistant
 
Are you talking about killing Zombies or a plan for the coming Zombiepocalype. Because killing them is the easy part, hell any blow with the side of a shovel can do that, though it aint as sexy as a hot chick in a chainmail bikini wielding a mossberg or those full auto "alley sweeper" used in Soweto in the 70's.

You really need to focus on survival in the coming new world.

If you look at the better zombiepocalypse threads on here, like this one (https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/ho...en-our-currency-worthless-104035/#post1140011) you will see that when the crash happens many of us are going to declare ourselves "King of the Sacred Barley Water" and trade our beers for nubile slave girls....so that we can repopulate the planet.

I mean there is a great precident for this for brewers providing a much needed food and water replacement.....Partigyle brewing provided for small table beers for the kiddies to drink when the water was bad....

That's why we have started the GAP thread to explore non-traditional beer making with common grocery items. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/ga...r-experiment-69313/?highlight=Grocery+Produce

I even designed my label for the "snake oil".......er I mean beer...

Curative_tonic_copy.jpg


I figure I'll have my kingdom pretty well covered. :D
 
I bet a zombie could make a good living as a crash test dummy or on the set of "Mythbusters". In firefighting and law enforcement you could use them in live training I suppose.
 
How about one of the contraptions like the dude used in "No Country for Old Men."

I guess this would only work if you had a high pressure compressor to generate the CO2 and the power source* to run it. Of course, we all know of another benefit of a CO2 supply.

*I'm surprised these zombie apoc. survival discussions rarely mention off-the-grid energy capability.
.
 

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