Your Thoughts/Prayers/Voodoo Needed

[glenn514]

This time of Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas has quickly become a very bittersweet time for me. Thanksgiving was hard, but I did almost all the cooking, which kept me out of trouble. And the food was DELICIOUS! [Deep-fried 16 lb. turkey; REAL mashed potatoes; green bean casserole; Stove Top stuffing] One of my daughters and her husband came out to share it with me...and remind me to stay with our "traditions," like eating in the dining room, rather than at the kitchen table.

It's been a bit over a year since I suddenly became Marie's full-time care giver. My daughters and I were fully aware of the final outcome, which explains why I would come downstairs in the morning, fearing that the she had died overnight. She hung in there as long as the Lord let her, which was a blessing to me and the family.

Now, with each decoration for Advent and Christmas that I put out, I am reminded of her love for this season. My tears still flow...and always will...but I have not "lost" her. I KNOW where she is! And I'll be there one day, too. In the meantime, I, too, will celebrate Advent, Christmas and Epiphany just like the shepherds, angels and Wise Men of long ago celebrated.

In dulci jubilo...Christ was born for this!

glenn514

 

[Temptd2]

Glenn, you're very wise to hold onto the traditions you and Marie and your family have always loved! As hard as it is, I really do believe it's cathartic to do this.

I lost my Dad at age 91 on November 18th. I intend to carry on his Christmas tradition of prime rib and all the fixin's. It honors him to do so.

Many hugs for you as you navigate the holiday season.

 

[jcav]

Good to see you still keeping your family traditions going Glenn. I know the holidays are especially hard but you seem to be hanging in there pretty well considering all you have been through. Your faith is your rock Glenn and it's great to see!

John

 

[glenn514]

Today is the first anniversary of the death of my dear wife of 46 years, Marie. If I were to say I've shed no tears today, that would be a lie. But I had an "epiphany" a couple of weeks ago. I had found myself dwelling on the sadness and pain her death has brought to me. I realized that I was focused on the wrong things! I needed to refocus on the facts that all of Marie's pain was gone; all of her medical problems were over; she did not need me any longer to wipe her butt and change her diapers; she could run, dance, skip, hop, jump and sing "...with angels, archangels and the whole company of heaven." Her "passing" was a victory over sin and death, and she now rests forever in the arms of Jesus. And that, my friends is a victory to be celebrated! We'll do that here the next couple of days, with 3/4 of the Mahnke children home at Christmas...along with a couple of sons-in-law.

I know I've said it before, but a profound THANK YOU for all your words of encouragement, warmth and friendship over those 5 1/2 months.

glenn514

 

[Inkleg]

Thank you Glenn for being strong for Marie, your family and yourself.
Reading your post brought a few tears to my eyes as it speaks volumes to the changes we go through with the loss of a loved one. Having lost my first wife 15 years ago, I still get a little off center as August 4th comes around. My family knows and understands this and is there for me just as I am there for them. Just as it will be for you and your family.

A very Merry Christmas to you and your family.

 

[jcav]

Very tough day for you Glenn, but so good to hear that you can see what has transpired in a new light and can focus on the positive aspects of this journey your wife and you have been on. I'll say it again you are an amazing man! I pray you and your family get through this day and that you and them have a truly blessed Christmas!

Keep the faith brother,

John

 

[Temptd2]

Glenn, so glad of your epiphany, as I'm sure that is the way Marie would want you to think of her! Enjoy your family and your remembrances.

My sister is coming Christmas day and we will, indeed, have prime rib and the fixin's up at Dad's house. Don't know what the coming year will bring as far as that house goes - we may lease it out, we may sell it - but I know that THIS year, the tradition will live on in Dad's honor. And yes, I'm sure a few tears will be shed as well, along with laughter about the funny things Dad did and said, even up to a few days before he passed.

Seems impossible that it has been a year since Marie left this earthly plane but I bet she is kicking up her heels and enjoying her freedom from pain and the confines of her body, which was failing her here on Earth. You are wise to celebrate that!

 

[Yooper]

Today is the first anniversary of the death of my dear wife of 46 years, Marie. If I were to say I've shed no tears today, that would be a lie. But I had an "epiphany" a couple of weeks ago. I had found myself dwelling on the sadness and pain her death has brought to me. I realized that I was focused on the wrong things! I needed to refocus on the facts that all of Marie's pain was gone; all of her medical problems were over; she did not need me any longer to wipe her butt and change her diapers; she could run, dance, skip, hop, jump and sing "...with angels, archangels and the whole company of heaven." Her "passing" was a victory over sin and death, and she now rests forever in the arms of Jesus. And that, my friends is a victory to be celebrated! We'll do that here the next couple of days, with 3/4 of the Mahnke children home at Christmas...along with a couple of sons-in-law.

I know I've said it before, but a profound THANK YOU for all your words of encouragement, warmth and friendship over those 5 1/2 months.

glenn514

What a year for you and your family. You made it through the year of "firsts" and that's always so hard- the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first everything without her. I know you will always miss her but you can also rejoice at the 46 wonderful years you were married. You have your girls as proof of a wonderful life together.

I will keep thinking of you this weekend, and send you warm thoughts and prayers.

 

[harrke]

God Bless.

 

[glenn514]

Today is Marie's 72nd birthday, as well as my brother's 87th[!]. In the Mass, used by the Church for centuries, not only in Roman Catholic churches, but also in Lutheran churches, the priest/pastor speaks some sentences just before the assembly sings the "Sanctus" [Holy, holy, holy, Lord, God of pow'r and might]. The words just before the assembly sings are important: "with angels, archangels and the whole company of heaven..." I know that Marie is in that "whole company of heaven." And when I sub as organist for churches in the area, the hairs on my arms stand up when I accompany that, because I know she's in that holy bunch, singing her heart out!

I have shed a few tears today, and will probably shed a few more. But more often these days, they are NOT tears of sorrow, but of joy, tender love, and delight at remembering some little thing she said or did.

So, hoist a beer or two today and help celebrate Marie's heavenly birthday and my brother's 87th[!] birthday!

glenn514

 

[Temptd2]

You got it, Glenn! A homebrewed blonde ale shall be raised to the celebration of birthdays. I'm glad your memories are good ones - Marie would want it to be that way, for sure.

 

[Morrey]

Glenn I know you'll say you were lucky that Marie shared many years of marriage with you. But you know brother, I think Marie was darn lucky to have had your love and devotion for over 45 years. God's love is in your heart kind sir.

 

[Inkleg]

Glass raised and birthday celebration toast has been made.

 

[beernbourbon]

@glenn514 Just checking back in on ya....I've been off here for a bit, but wanted to see how you were doing

 

[glenn514]

Thank you, beernbourbon, for checking up on me! Over the past 2+years, I have learned many things. First, I have learned how easy it is to balance the checkbook if you have a computer connected to the bank! Balancing the checkbook was NOT a high priority on Marie's list, so it was kind of like a game of horseshoes...close counts! But I have also learned that the ache of loss never goes away. It's always there, but the passage of time gives you tools to deal with it. Tomorrow, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with my daughter and son-in-law and son-in-law's family in St. Charles, Illinois. I will be deep-frying TWO turkeys! They are ready to go, except for the marinade injections. I also made the stuffing to bake in the oven. I plan on giving thanks for many things, most definitely for a loving and faithful wife for over 46 years who is singing her thanks in the heavenly chorus.

 

[glenn514]

And here's something to give thanks for! The end of October, I sent a letter of appeal to the county Board of Review, stating that my property tax assessment was too high, and should be lowered. I compared my property to the property next door. I have a much smaller lot, a smaller house, a 1.5 car garage vs. a three-car garage, and the tax assessment on THAT property was lower than mine. Never having done something like this before, I had no idea what would happen. Today, I got my answer. First, I do NOT have to attend a hearing. The facts and figures I put in my letter were enough for the Board to look over. Second, my property tax assessment has been REDUCED BY $6,287.00! I had asked for at least a $4,116.00 reduction. Looks like they agreed with me...and then some! Using last year's tax rate and this year's new assessment, my property taxes could drop by over $700.00! I will most definitely give thanks tomorrow!

 

[beernbourbon]

Thank you, beernbourbon, for checking up on me! Over the past 2+years, I have learned many things. First, I have learned how easy it is to balance the checkbook if you have a computer connected to the bank! Balancing the checkbook was NOT a high priority on Marie's list, so it was kind of like a game of horseshoes...close counts! But I have also learned that the ache of loss never goes away. It's always there, but the passage of time gives you tools to deal with it. Tomorrow, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with my daughter and son-in-law and son-in-law's family in St. Charles, Illinois. I will be deep-frying TWO turkeys! They are ready to go, except for the marinade injections. I also made the stuffing to bake in the oven. I plan on giving thanks for many things, most definitely for a loving and faithful wife for over 46 years who is singing her thanks in the heavenly chorus.

Yes, I love being attached to my bank at all times. I keep a close eye on finances. The less ya got, the more ya gotta watch! lol
You are correct. The ache never goes, but you have more moments than not where you aren't consciously thinking about her, and that does make it easier.
Nice!! TWO? I haven't been willing to do one yet, I'm afraid I'll like it TOO much. Is bad enough that everyone loves my smoked turkey, I'd end up fatter with something that delicious being deep fried!

And here's something to give thanks for! The end of October, I sent a letter of appeal to the county Board of Review, stating that my property tax assessment was too high, and should be lowered. I compared my property to the property next door. I have a much smaller lot, a smaller house, a 1.5 car garage vs. a three-car garage, and the tax assessment on THAT property was lower than mine. Never having done something like this before, I had no idea what would happen. Today, I got my answer. First, I do NOT have to attend a hearing. The facts and figures I put in my letter were enough for the Board to look over. Second, my property tax assessment has been REDUCED BY $6,287.00! I had asked for at least a $4,116.00 reduction. Looks like they agreed with me...and then some! Using last year's tax rate and this year's new assessment, my property taxes could drop by over $700.00! I will most definitely give thanks tomorrow!

That is AWESOME!! Well done, sir!


Take care of yourself, Glenn, enjoy the holiday with the kids. I'm happy to hear you are doing well.

 

[jcav]

Glad to hear you are doing well and going to enjoy the holiday with your daughter and family! Best of luck on those turkeys! The tax adjustment is awesome! Happy Thanksgiving Glenn!

John

 

[glenn514]

beernbourbon...

Back in the day when the kids were young, and we lived in Wisconsin, I would roast the turkey in he Weber grill. That, however, was 25 years ago! I learned to deep-fry turkeys while we lived in Texas. When we moved back to northern Illinois, Marie quickly bought me a deep-fry kit for turkeys and other stuff. Considering that a 16 pound bird will absorb perhaps a cup of peanut oil, it is really a relatively healthy way of cooking a bird. BUT...I've said this on another thread...DO NOT BRINE A FROZEN TURKEY, unless it is with water and herbs ONLY. ALL commercially frozen birds are injected with saline solution so they can claim "self-basting." I brined a frozen turkey breast and deep-fried it...that was the first and last time! If you have a fresh bird, go ahead with the brine.

glenn514

 

[glenn514]

Good morning, brewers and brewerettes. I was doing alright today until a few minutes ago. I was hanging the Christmas stockings for the family and came across Marie's. Her stocking, my stocking, the stockings of the four daughters, and one son-in-law's stocking were all lovingly hand-knit with the owner's name across the top. Hers said "Mommy," and mine says "Daddy." That's when I lost it. Two years ago today, Jesus took hold of her hand and led her out of that painful 5 month journey following two massive strokes. As I have mentioned before, the grief and pain are still there, and always will be there. But the passage of time gives us tools to deal with and manage that grief and pain. So, I can still boldly proclaim A MERRY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL ON HBT!

glenn514

 

[rlmiller10]

Glenn,

Great to see one of your posts. Blessing to you and may this Christmas be a good one.

 

[JohnSand]

I am sorry for your loss. I wish you fond memories for Christmas.

 

[beernbourbon]

Good morning, brewers and brewerettes. I was doing alright today until a few minutes ago. I was hanging the Christmas stockings for the family and came across Marie's. Her stocking, my stocking, the stockings of the four daughters, and one son-in-law's stocking were all lovingly hand-knit with the owner's name across the top. Hers said "Mommy," and mine says "Daddy." That's when I lost it. Two years ago today, Jesus took hold of her hand and led her out of that painful 5 month journey following two massive strokes. As I have mentioned before, the grief and pain are still there, and always will be there. But the passage of time gives us tools to deal with and manage that grief and pain. So, I can still boldly proclaim A MERRY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL ON HBT!

glenn514

Yeah, I'm sure you will continue to have those moments. But even in your sadness and tears, what do you think of? The fact "Jesus took hold of her hand and led her out of that painful 5 month journey following two massive strokes"........ not 'woe is me', or any of that selfish stuff, but the grace she was shown. You sir, are one hell of a man. I hope if that time comes, I can be half as gracious as you. Merry Christmas and here's hoping for your continued healing in the New Year.

 

[glenn514]

Our celebration of the birth of our Newborn King was awesome! I had 3/4 of my daughters and 2 sons-in-laws here to help me celebrate. The day after Christmas, we all went to see "The Last Jedi." Here is a photo, taken following the movie, of three of my crazy daughters, each wearing something of Star Wars! The youngest, Amanda, is on the left of the photo; Gretchen in the middle is daughter #3, and my second-oldest, Liesl, is on the right, wearing her Ewok scarf!

glenn514

 

[JohnSand]

Thank you for sharing, that's a lovely image.

 

[beernbourbon]

Hey @glenn514, how are you doing these days? Just checkin on ya!

 

[glenn514]

Over the past few days, I have been having difficulty with HBT, but it is now fixed, so I can reply!!! I'm doing as good as I possibly can. I have learned that one never gets over the death of a dearly loved family member, but one eventually gets "through" that death. I have a long-time friend who lost her husband not too long before Marie died. She and I have talked extensively and we're on the same page. I am looking forward to spending Easter Sunday with my #2 daughter and son-in-law and his family. And I brewed a batch of beer this past week!

glenn514

 

[beernbourbon]

Like I’ve said before, be it the old normal or the new normal, we must always remember; normal is just a setting on the dryer. [emoji16]

 

[glenn514]

I found the following posted on Facebook by a friend. I think it sums up how I'm doing quite well.

"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not "get over" the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to."

The "new normal" is different from the "old normal." It isn't better or worse...just different. And sometimes it's awful damn hard to accept the difference.

glenn514

 

[glenn514]

Yesterday was Marie's 73rd birthday. To say that I miss her is an enormous understatement. I don't shed as many tears, and I'm 100% confident that she is singing in the angelic chorus, but that hole that her death left in me will never be filled. Happy Birthday, Momma.