You know you're a home brewer when?

[Amadeo38]

...you measure your alcohol intake in Kegs Per Month rather than drinks per day.

 

[OpenSights]

When you volunteer for a beer fest, get picked to pour for a local distillery and come home with a case of empty fifth bottles hoping wine corks will fit so you can age certain beer.

Then you get in good with the sales guy and the head distiller and have a good chance of getting a good used 55 gallon oak bourbon barrel! Sours!

 

[pepindavid]

You know you're a home brewer when you sell most of your brewing stuff (GrainFather, kegs, CO2 bottles, Tilts, Beergun, mill, everything) because you fell like you're drinking too much, and that you don't like spending 5-6 hours on the brewing process during the weekend)... And then you find yourself brewing a 2-gallon batch (no-sparge BiAB on the stove top) not even a month after you sold everything...!

 

[Rwadams]

You know you’re a home brewer when finding a contraption for tracking pours remaining in your keg on the internet is a thousand times more exciting than any internet porn could be.

 

[OpenSights]

When you have to install a special bookshelf for books about brewing (and wine, mead, soda, distilling....)

 

[OnePlate]

When your bad dream last night consists of adding fruit to a beer and it getting an infection that requires dumping it.

 

[noiz2]

When you have to install a special bookshelf for books about brewing (and wine, mead, soda, distilling....)

View attachment 632165

Those are all of your brewing books? Kind of slacking off there ;~)

 

[OpenSights]

Those are all of your brewing books? Kind of slacking off there ;~)

My recipe book isn’t up there....

 

[Miller4]

They didn't save anything...they came home with less money than they left with.

The only way anyone "saves" money is if they find something they need that is cheaper than what they'd normally pay.

But....I think you have an opening here. Why not buy something like a huge brewing setup on sale, and then brag about how much money you saved!

One of my favorites is “I can’t afford NOT to buy it!”

 

[seatazzz]

When the vast majority of your Facebook posts have to do with brewing, and beer.

 

[ncbrewer]

When the vast majority of your Facebook posts have to do with brewing, and beer.

When ALL your Facebook posts have to do with brewing and beer. (I just use mine to keep up with the homebrew club activities.)

 

[OpenSights]

When ALL your Facebook posts have to do with brewing and beer. (I just use mine to keep up with the homebrew club activities.)

That’s pretty much the same with me... I think I have only 4 friends who don’t have anything to do with brewing....

 

[bracconiere]

the floor next to your kegerator has this on it, and you're worried your not going to figure out how to get the 5/16" tubing onto the 3/8" barb tee's to push your next drink!

 

[OpenSights]

When your LHBS closes and you make it to the last 4 days for the deals and buy $1-$5 bins with something in it worth the money but you have no clue what some of the other ingredients or thingies are.

And since I’ve been such a good customer and go to buy a quarter full 6 gallon bucket of flaked rye for $5 the manager, friend, VP of my club says “There’s and open full bag on that shelf, you might as well fill it up and call it $5.”

Seriously, half this stuff I have no clue what it is! Lots of wine stuff! Guess I’ll have to learn winemaking too....

 

[Northern_Brewer]

You know you're a British homebrewer when you partigyle coffee because your other half makes it so strong that even the second runnings have enough caffeine for normal people.

 

[Soulshine2]

My wife and daughter came home with several bags of shoes, bragging that they saved more than they spent, so if it works for them...

dont they always....tell you what they saved , never what they spent. lol. My ex used to do that all.the.time.
Luckily my wife enjoys my brewing. Heck, she orders most of my stuff for me. Most times I'll be doing some online shopping and put stuff in the basket to think on it awhile whether or not I want it now or save for later and she'll tell me , oh by the way I went and placed that brewing order for you...gotta love that.

 

[Soulshine2]

You know you're a British homebrewer when you partigyle coffee because your other half makes it so strong that even the second runnings have enough caffeine for normal people.

lol, sounds like our coffee. normal people call it espresso.

 

[Soulshine2]

That’s pretty much the same with me... I think I have only 4 friends who don’t have anything to do with brewing....

you dont really need those 4 do you???

 

[OpenSights]

When your LHBS closes and you run out of room in your addition shelf....

 

[bracconiere]

it's been ~3 weeks since you brewed last....and start a batch, realizing, it's been TOO long. Because you have to reference what the temp for a protein rest is....

 

[Northern_Brewer]

You see reports of temperatures in Europe hitting 45°C (113°F) and think "the whole of France is getting a ferulic rest"....

 

[Fransjoe]

When SWMBO, In-laws and Pastor sermon you on the dangers of your soul for making a hopped barley tea...(this is before pitching the yeast).

 

[Northern_Brewer]

When SWMBO, In-laws and Pastor sermon you on the dangers of your soul for making a hopped barley tea...(this is before pitching the yeast).

Recall that the Ben Franklin quote that is often misquoted, was originally referring to the Marriage at Cana and the process that leads to wine, if not the wine itself :

Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy!

 

[seatazzz]

If my uber-catholic grandmother was alive right now, I would have to endure a weekly sermon on the dangers of alcohol, brewing as a woman (not our place you know! Get back in the bedroom & the kitchen where you belong), and how I'm not as good as my perfect sister, who married an alcoholic with 5 DUI's at last count. God or whoever smite me now, but I was relieved when that banshee kicked the bucket back in '99, and so was my mother (her daughter).

 

[mongoose33]

You know you're a homebrewer when....

...your wife sends you a link to a book you might like, "Mastering Homebrew" by Mosher....

....and you've had it on your bookshelf for over 3 years.

[I appreciate my wife looking out for my hobby. BTW, I recommend the book.]

 

[rhys333]

...when you have WET socks.

 

[OpenSights]

...when you have WET socks.

Been there too many times! Usually just cleaning day...

 

[rhys333]

Been there too many times! Usually just cleaning day...

Same here. Kegging/cleaning day. It doesn't matter what I do, I always end up with water or sanitizer on the floor.

 

[pjhalifax]

Probably mentioned before, but I was just thinking this morning while I was looking under the sink for a trash bag: You know you're a homebrewer when you start visualizing fermentation buckets in every available nook and cranny of your home.

Hmmm...yep! I could fit one there, and there and there...

 

[kh54s10]

Probably mentioned before, but I was just thinking this morning while I was looking under the sink for a trash bag: You know you're a homebrewer when you start visualizing fermentation buckets in every available nook and cranny of your home.

Hmmm...yep! I could fit one there, and there and there...

I hope your fermentation buckets stuck in every nook and cranny are empty or your house is kept cold... Fermentation temperature control is one of the best ways to make your beer better. Lack of control and too high a fermentation temperature is one of the easiest ways to make a good beer mediocre or even bad.