You know what I hate?

[GroovePuppy]

see...now i'm jealous. i hate bob.

I hate Bob too. He dissed my man-****s!

 

[HBHoss]

did i SAY disease free!? don't put words in my mouth.

how about no incurable diseases...is that fair enough???

warm and breathing another bonus?

 

[DeathBrewer]

all i need is a pulse.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Um, if you blow her tires you're doing it wrong.
No wonder you can't get a girl.

no, i can't KEEP a girl

 

[HBHoss]

I hate Bob too. He dissed my man-****s!

Don't be diss'n the man-****s. Mine are the only ****s I can touch these days.

 

[shecky]

no, i can't KEEP a girl

Like that's a bad thing. Variety is the spice of life.
I have no spice in my life.

Actually, when my wife puts on those costumes .... I'll stop there.

 

[HBHoss]

no, i can't KEEP a girl

Try new shackles. Or get a deadbolt that needs a key on the inside as well as the outside.

 

[GroovePuppy]

no, i can't KEEP a girl

BTW, my 17 year old thought your "I like my women like my coffee" line was the funniest thing ever.

 

[DeathBrewer]

i tell you what i hate. i hate my relationships with women.

i have lots of troubles with women. i was raised in a household with four of them and LOTS of cousins, too...that's probably part of my problem.

i was raised to respect women, but i cannot STAND ditzes. the "stupid blonde" type is such a turn-off. i want an intelligent woman, but therein lies the problem. any intelligent woman that isn't bat **** crazy isn't going to stay with me...i'm a foul-mouthed sarcastic bastard with long hair.

maybe as things clean up as i get older, i'll be able to hold on to those women i respect and love so dear, instead of driving them off with my crass and cynical outlook.

or i could just put an ad on craigslist and find another crazy ho-bag.

 

[DeathBrewer]

BTW, my 17 year old thought your "I like my women like my coffee" line was the funniest thing ever.

it WAS the funniest thing ever. that's what reels them in

(not that i'm into 17 year olds )

 

[HBHoss]

BTW, my 17 year old thought your "I like my women like my coffee" line was the funniest thing ever.

That's a classic line in the movie "Airplane".

 

[DeathBrewer]

no, no, no. this one was new.

 

[Revvy]

Do you guys find it ironic that all day this thread has stayed on page 1 while the "things I love" thread has stayed on page 7 since this morning?

 

[flyangler18]

More work-inspired stuff....

I hate that every single email I get from my boss is marked urgent like it's the some earth-shattering revelation and I have to send a 'read receipt' through Outlook.

Bloody hell, are you that neurotic that you have to have incontrovertible evidence that people are reading your ill-wrought eye-sore emails??

 

[shecky]

Do you guys find it ironic that all day this thread has stayed on page 1 while the "things I love" thread has stayed on page 7 since this morning?

I fixed that, Revvy.

 

[ChshreCat]

That's a classic line in the movie "Airplane".

I like women how I like my coffee...


Ground up and thrown in my freezer.

 

[DeathBrewer]

hey! quit stealing my lines and screwing them up! you're overcomplicating it!

it's just "ground up and in the freezer", damnit!

 

[FireBrewer]

You know, I should point out that I don’t personally dislike anyone with whom I’ve been so civilly debating, and I’d certainly never think less of anyone, kids or no kids. I’d have a pint with any of you and we’d enjoy each other’s company immensely. We’re simply discussing personal boundaries, and that’s a good thing.

I'll drink to that.

Moobs bad!

And I hate Seinfeld too! Damn!

 

[shecky]

Now I know why DB can't keep a woman. They don't belong in the freezer, man. Makes them frigid.

 

[FireBrewer]

Now I know why DB can't keep a woman. They don't belong in the freezer, man. Makes them frigid.

Now THAT belongs in the Memorable Quotes thread.

 

[DeathBrewer]

lifeless in a vat of fermeldahyde? no, that would be stinky. hmm...

 

[shecky]

lifeless in a vat of fermeldahyde? no, that would be stinky. hmm...

Hey, if you could put up with the stink you'd never lose that woman. Talk about a nice preservative.

 

[DeathBrewer]

maybe i could stick anchovies in my nostrils. that should help.

edit: might tickle the 'stache, tho.

 

[shecky]

maybe i could stick anchovies in my nostrils. that should help.

edit: might tickle the 'stache, tho.

Yeah, but if you get hungry you don't have to go to the fridge.

 

[HBHoss]

lifeless in a vat of fermeldahyde? no, that would be stinky. hmm...

Necrophilia is never having to say you're sorry.

 

[shecky]

Necrophilia is never having to say you're sorry.

Or anything, for that matter.

 

[ChshreCat]

hey! quit stealing my lines and screwing them up! you're overcomplicating it!

it's just "ground up and in the freezer", damnit!

Then quit stealing your lines from t-shirt hell.

 

[DeathBrewer]

oh snap!

 

[shecky]

Then quit stealing your lines from t-shirt hell.

Busted like a porn star.:fro:

 

[GroovePuppy]

it WAS the funniest thing ever. that's what reels them in

(not that i'm into 17 year olds )

Er, He is though!

hey! quit stealing my lines and screwing them up! you're overcomplicating it!

it's just "ground up and in the freezer", damnit!

That was the one.