Those people over at Woot are certainly a bunch of wise-acres.
Product description for a printer:
Rachel flung the cellphone across her bedroom. She was inconsolable. The thunderstorm outside seemed to spring from deep inside her. 20 minutes on the phone, with her dropping hints all over the place, and Jerry never once mentioned the occasion. How could he forget that it had been a year today since theyd first kissed? Shed never forget anything about that enchanted moment in the office copy room, the fateful kiss that turned them from co-workers into lovers. So how could he forget it all?
Through her sobs and the pounding of the rain, she thought she heard a faint whirring, or buzzing, or clicking sound. Now she was sure. And then she heard her name: Rachel! Raaa-chel! She stopped crying and threw open the window. There was Jerry, down in the yard below her window, holding aloft the HP Officejet Pro L7680 Color All-in-One Printer, Fax, Scanner, & Copier, totally oblivious to the rain pelting him and running off of the HP Officejet Pro L7680 in great rivulets.
Rachel! I didnt forget! I brought you this HP Officejet Pro L7680 Color All-in-One Printer, Fax, Scanner, & Copier, just like the one we kissed over!
Oh, Jerry! Her heart leapt. And not just because the HP Officejet Pro L7680 offers high-grade color and b&w printing, hi-res scanning, up to 125 stored faxes, and full copying features including reduction and enlargement, all in one compact unit.
Right now Im scanning the first love letter you ever sent to me, so I can - A bright blue spark and a loud BZZZZT cut him off. Jerry wavered and fell, the HP Officejet Pro L7680 tumbling from his grasp, falling to the mud, and breaking into pieces with an ugly crunch. The rain had electrocuted him. Hed ignored every warning, every bit of common sense, to deliver this message of love and convenience. As Rachel dashed downstairs to help him, her terror was tinged with a bittersweet joy: if anything serious had happened to Jerry, at least shed know he hadnt forgotten.