Wish Corruption thread

[Walker]

granted. the coffe at work is now excellent. you now are employed at a coffee shop

i wish my knee didnt hurt.

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Granted, your knee doesn't hurt, because you have no legs.

I wish it was time to go home.

 

[TXCrash]

Granted, your knee doesn't hurt, because you have no legs.

I wish it was time to go home.

Your fired. Go home.

I wish I had a kegorator here. Loaded with my beer that I brought with me from oregon. That tastes good and hasn't gone bad. The taps work and I have glasses.

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Granted, you have beer, kegorator, etc, but you have no mouth.

I wish I was brewing instead of working.

 

[jacob1484]

I wish I was brewing instead of working.

Granted. You're at home brewing. You will be struck by lightning in 3..2..1..

I wish all of my bills would pay themselves.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. You're at home brewing. You will be struck by lightning in 3..2..1..

I wish all of my bills would pay themselves.

Granted, the bills pay themselves with your money. so it all kind of works out the same in the end.

I wish hunting season was longer

 

[munklunk]

Granted. Hunting season never ends, but they've allowed the legal hunting of humans along with their animal friends. You better start running...

I wish Stewart Scott would stop creeping me out with that wandering eye.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted. Hunting season never ends, but they've allowed the legal hunting of humans along with their animal friends. You better start running...

I wish Stewart Scott would stop creeping me out with that wandering eye.

Granted. Instead he creeps you out by standing outside your bedroom windows in a speedo waving a 2 foot dildo in the air.

I wish the toilet paper at work was a little softer.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. Instead he creeps you out by standing outside your bedroom windows in a speedo waving a 2 foot dildo in the air.

I wish the toilet paper at work was a little softer.

Granted, now its so soft evrytime you wipe your ass your fingers slip right through it.... oh and they soap dispenser is empty.

I wish the women in my life were as loyal and loving as the dogs!

 

[TXCrash]

Granted, now its so soft evrytime you wipe your ass your fingers slip right through it.... oh and they soap dispenser is empty.

I wish the women in my life were as loyal and loving as the dogs!

Granted. Make sure to stock up on peanutbutter.

I wish my room mate didn't stink.

 

[CoalCracker]

Granted. Your roomate no longer stinks. Instead dowses himself with stetson multiple times a day.

I wish I wasn't so bored.

 

[Walker]

granted. the police have just shown up to place you under arrest for murder. How exciting!

I wish I had a half pound of cara-pils in the freezer.

 

[jacob1484]

granted. the police have just shown up to place you under arrest for murder. How exciting!

I wish I had a half pound of cara-pils in the freezer.

Granted. You have a half pound of cara-pils in a bag in the freezer. Also in the bag are 17 mangled fingers, 3 eyes and a tongue.

(i think i've been watching too many horror flicks in the run up to halloween)

I wish I had a super hot lunch date.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted. You have a half pound of cara-pils in a bag in the freezer. Also in the bag are 17 mangled fingers, 3 eyes and a tongue.

(i think i've been watching too many horror flicks in the run up to halloween)

I wish I had a super hot lunch date.

Granted. He has a 10 inch member and wont take "No" for an answer.

I wish my house smelled of Cascade hops 24/7.

 

[Walker]

Granted. He has a 10 inch member and wont take "No" for an answer.

I wish my house smelled of Cascade hops 24/7.

granted. The aroma of cascades from the harvest 5 years ago fills your house with a scent a lot like sour cheese.... 24/7.

I wish I had bought that AOL stock back in 1990.

 

[IrregularPulse]

granted. The aroma of cascades from the harvest 5 years ago fills your house with a scent a lot like sour cheese.... 24/7.

I wish I had bought that AOL stock back in 1990.

Congrats you bought AOL stock back 1990, but didn't read the fine print demanding you actually use AOL for internet exclusively for the rest of your life.

I wish I had another one of these giant pixie sticks.

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Congrats you bought AOL stock back 1990, but didn't read the fine print demanding you actually use AOL for internet exclusively for the rest of your life.

I wish I had another one of these giant pixie sticks.

Granted, you now have a giant pixie stick stuck in your ass.

I wish I was taking a nap.

 

[munklunk]

Granted, you now have a giant pixie stick stuck in your ass.

I wish I was taking a nap.

Granted, but the only dream you can have involves a boiler room, some burned dude in a flannel shirt and knife glove, and kids singing some creepy lullaby. Sweet dreams!

I wish I could stop time.

 

[northernlad]

Granted, but the only dream you can have involves a boiler room, some burned dude in a flannel shirt and knife glove, and kids singing some creepy lullaby. Sweet dreams!

I wish I could stop time.

Granted, but your beer will never finish.

I wish I had a magic femtentation chamber that new the exact temperature my beer needed to be at any given time.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Granted, but your beer will never finish.

I wish I had a magic femtentation chamber that new the exact temperature my beer needed to be at any given time.

Granted you now have a fermentation chamber that knows the temps you need, then it increases those temps by 20° because it hates you.
I wish I could go through life and always feel great mentally and physically.

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish I could go through life and always feel great mentally and physically.

Granted. A motivational speaker is now living in your basement, but he has a habit of eating the last Pop Tart and singing in his native Hungarian. Loudly.



I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

 

[MSweat]

Granted, the fish you didn't kill was a piranha, and while swimming across the river, he called all his buddies over for dinner. You were the main course, they ate really slow!

I wish I were independently wealthy.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted, the fish you didn't kill was a piranha, and while swimming across the river, he called all his buddies over for dinner. You were the main course, they ate really slow!

I wish I were independently wealthy.

granted, you are independently wealthy in the poorest country in the world, zimbabwe which is kind of like being the skinniest kid at fat camp.

I wish I would not have eaten that for dinner

 

[tallybrewer]

Granted. You ate this for dinner.

I wish I didn't have to mow the lawn this weekend.

 

[munklunk]

Granted! You lawnmower has become self-aware, mowed the lawn by choice and proceeded to run away with your wife.

I wish I had my own free supply of MO and 2 Row.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted! You lawnmower has become self-aware, mowed the lawn by choice and proceeded to run away with your wife.

I wish I had my own free supply of MO and 2 Row.

Granted. You have all the grains you could ever want. The weevils and worms in them were free too.

I wish I could get a free lunch today.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, you get Ceedubya's leftovers

I wish I had a better memory.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Granted, you get Ceedubya's leftovers

I wish I had a better memory.

Granted. You now remember that time you got in bed with your mother. You had been trying to suppress that memory!

I wish that I were an octopus

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish that I were an octopus

Granted. Here's a moment from your past life:




I wish financial aid workers weren't such blowhards.

 

[CoalCracker]

Granted. Financial Aid workers are very giving and fund your whole college career...you devote this career to becoming a clown and wearing a big red nose forever.

I wish this spreadsheet would finish itself.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. Financial Aid workers are very giving and fund your whole college career...you devote this career to becoming a clown and wearing a big red nose forever.

I wish this spreadsheet would finish itself.

Granted, you are now obsolete and as a result... fired.


I wish it was the weekend.

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted it is the weekend and your job has just changed its hours and requires you to work double shifts on Saturday and Sunday.

I wish my wife would start cheating on me....so that I had more time to brew of course.

 

[Hang Glider]

Granted. here's a pic of your wife wearing the tee shirt I gave her.


I wish I were drinking.

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted. here's a pic of your wife wearing the tee shirt I gave her.

If My wife looked like that I wouldn't mind who hit that...as long as I got it occasionally. That was not a wish...although I wouldn't mind her looking like that

I wish I were drinking.

Granted, you're drinking piss

I wish I was drunk

 

[JorgeIsKing]

If My wife looked like that I wouldn't mind who hit that...as long as I got it occasionally. That was not a wish...although I wouldn't mind her looking like that


Granted, you're drinking piss

I wish I was drunk

Granted, you are blended up and "drunk" by a bunch of cannibals as nice HoppyMaltPoet Smoothy


I wish I had an unlimited supply of Arrogant Bastard.

 

[david_42]

Granted, but since it is unlimited, there isn't any air to breath.

I wish I had a wormhole from here to Milwaukie.

 

[Hang Glider]

Granted. You are now a worm. The trip will take you 12 years.

I wish it was Friday!

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted, It's Friday, October 13, 1307, you are a Knight Templar in France. King Philip sends his love in the form of your arrest and execution.

I wish I was married to Kat Von D

 

[munklunk]

Granted! You are now married to that hot tatted woman, along with her Hep C.

I wish my beer went from grain to glass in 2 days.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Granted! You are now married to that hot tatted woman, along with her Hep C.

I wish my beer went from grain to glass in 2 days.

Granted, your grain has now turned into glass. Good luck drinking glass!

I wish I had a dose of the clap and my brain was Jello