Wish Corruption thread

[ChshreCat]

I wish I had a dose of the clap and my brain was Jello

Granted! You're now qualified to be on Jersey Shore.

I wish I got more sleep last night.

 

[Walker]

I wish I got more sleep last night.

Granted. Your sleep time for the next two nights has been borrowed and applied to last night, giving you the equivalent of a little over 20 hours of sleep last night. You are incredibly well rested, which is good, because you won't get to sleep again until Friday night.

I wish I had read the terms of my "Tire and Wheel Protection Plan" a little closer before I bought my car back in 2007.

 

[Hang Glider]

Granted. you are now the "Revvy" of Tire and Wheel Protection Plans, and have been since 2006. Your post count on the Tire and Wheel Protection Plan Talk forum is approaching 2.5 million. Every dufus with a car has asked you if his Tire and Wheel Protection Plan will be ready in two weeks, and if the valve stem doesn't blow air, what is wrong with it?

I wish my workload included golf.

 

[Walker]

I wish my workload included golf.

Granted. You are now a caddy.

I wish I hadn't eaten that burrito for lunch.

 

[MBasile]

Granted. You are now a caddy.

I wish I hadn't eaten that burrito for lunch.

Wish granted, you had McDonald's for lunch.

I wish I didn't have class until 10:00 tonight

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Wish granted, you had McDonald's for lunch.

I wish I didn't have class until 10:00 tonight

Granted. You have class until 4 AM. And work at 5 am.

I wish I had put more hops in my last IPA.

 

[gestyr]

Granted. You have class until 4 AM. And work at 5 am.

I wish I had put more hops in my last IPA.

Granted. But that is all you added. No grain, no yeast.

I wish the world was happy.

 

[HoppyMaltPoet]

Granted. All human life on earth perishes leaving the world very happy.

I wish I was an immortal space traveler

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted. All human life on earth perishes leaving the world very happy.

I wish I was an immortal space traveler

Granted. Turns out there is no other life in space. You're alone. Forever.

I wish I had a perfectly cooked medium rare porterhouse steak with a loaded baked potato, garlic bread, and a liter of most delicious beer.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, It was served to you as your last meal before execution

I wish I could see through walls whenever I wanted to.

 

[ChshreCat]

I wish I could see through walls whenever I wanted to.

Granted. You are also now a 24/7 live in counselor at a facility for the morbidly obese.

I wish I were in bed asleep already.

 

[gestyr]

Granted. You are also now a 24/7 live in counselor at a facility for the morbidly obese.

I wish I were in bed asleep already.

Granted. You are asleep. You will wake up to a bleak, mundane life with no prospects.

I wish I had a cheezeburger

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. You are asleep. You will wake up to a bleak, mundane life with no prospects.

I wish I had a cheezeburger

Granted, you now have the 4 year old Mcdonalds cheeseburger. Enjoy




I wish my laptop had not crashed this week

 

[TMet]

Granted, your car did.

I wish I never had to mow my lawn.

 

[gestyr]

Granted, your car did.

I wish I never had to mow my lawn.

Granted. Your lawn has been paved.

I wish I didn't have trees in my yard.

 

[Jim Karr]

Granted. Your lawn is over 5 million square miles of sandy desert with no trees in sight.


I wish I could speak Spanish fluently.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. Your lawn is over 5 million square miles of sandy desert with no trees in sight.


I wish I could speak Spanish fluently.

Granted.... Too bad you can't understand a word of it.


I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner

 

[Jim Karr]

Granted. You're the only weiner in sight in a food riot in mid Africa.

I wish my kids got all A's.

 

[Andrea]

Wish granted> your kids got
A pregnancy test
A STD test
A probation order
A paternity test
A commitment to rehab

I wish I won the Lotto

 

[ChshreCat]

I wish I won the Lotto

Granted. Actually, you won The Lottery. So you've been chosen to be stoned to death.

I wish I had the power of the force.

 

[annasdadhockey]

Granted. Actually, you won The Lottery. So you've been chosen to be stoned to death.

Wow, great Shirley Jackson reference. That is all.

 

[mc_eric]

Granted. Actually, you won The Lottery. So you've been chosen to be stoned to death.

I wish I had the power of the force.

Granted. You are a Sith Lord, the love of your life dies during childbirth, and you fall into lava, disfiguring you forever and forcing you to live in a life support system for the rest of your life.

I wish I weren't such a nerd.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted. You are a Sith Lord, the love of your life dies during childbirth, and you fall into lava, disfiguring you forever and forcing you to live in a life support system for the rest of your life.

(brilliant response...nice work)

 

[Jim Karr]

Granted........you're so cool, that people shun you like the plague.


I wish cookies were healthy.:rockin:

 

[cd38]

Granted....but now milk is wiped off the planet.

I wish beer replaced Gatorade

 

[mc_eric]

Granted, your fantasy football team now consists of a bunch of drunk 'tards.

I wish pot was legal.

 

[Ceedubya]

granted, but you are now allergic.

I wish I wouldn't have watched Pizza Paradise on the travel channel, because now I wish I had a real New York style Pizza!

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish I wouldn't have watched Pizza Paradise on the travel channel, because now I wish I had a real New York style Pizza!

Granted. The owner of the eating establishment where you purchased said pizza is giving you crap for not being a Yankees fan, and has the every patron there on his side. They hock stats at you for the rest of the time you're there.



I wish SF Giant's jerseys weren't so damn expensive.

 

[Limited Visibility]

I wish SF Giant's jerseys weren't so damn expensive.

Granted... Big 5 ordered way too many jerseys and were selling at 70% off but once you pulled it out of the wash it was white with dark blue pinstripes.

I wish I had a car that worked!

 

[hereforbeer]

Granted... Big 5 ordered way too many jerseys and were selling at 70% off but once you pulled it out of the wash it was white with dark blue pinstripes.

I wish I had a car that worked!

Granted,you crashed into a school bus and tipped it over.

I wish I wasn't so damn hungry.

 

[TMet]

Granted. You had a big meal. You just found out about a world toilet paper shortage.

I wish I could drink at work.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Granted. You had a big meal. You just found out about a world toilet paper shortage.

I wish I could drink at work.

Granted, you now work at home, because you have become me!......But you now have my body and every time you masturbate you are doing it with MY dick.

I wish I could forget the image I just put in my head.

 

[hereforbeer]

Granted, you now work at home, because you have become me!......But you now have my body and every time you masturbate you are doing it with MY dick.

I wish I could forget the image I just put in my head.

Granted.It becomes a warm sensation.

I wish every video game was in english and available at affordable prices,

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted.It becomes a warm sensation.

I wish every video game was in english and available at affordable prices,

Granted, Every Game is now ET for the Atari

I wish I had a new phone.

 

[wildwest450]

Granted, Every Game is now ET for the Atari

I wish I had a new phone.

Granted, but it's at&t and 90% of your calls will be dropped.

I wish the direct tv installer was faster.

 

[TMet]

Granted. But now he rushes and does a crappy job, causes a short, sets your house on fire, and when you run out you stub your toe.

I wish I wasn't so bored

 

[cd38]

Granted but now your so busy with work that you can no longer brew beer.

I wish I didnt have to wear pants

 

[MSweat]

Granted, you now wear a kilt and while walking to work stepped over a vent in the street exposing yourself, was arrested for public exposure, thrown in jail with several hard up criminals who found the kilt offered easy access!

I wish I didn't have a headache.

 

[ChshreCat]

Granted *CHOP* no head... no headache.

I wish I had more pie.

 

[Zul'jin]

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Done. Most of it was removed with a bulldozer blade.

I wish I had different colors of hair on my feet.