Wife sabotaged beers

[DrunkleJon]

Wait, maybe the flower petals looked like these:View attachment 199750

Or maybe the kind that can only be purchased semi legally in a few states of the union.

 

[dstranger99]

Well, at least she didn't drop her tampon in it........

 

[NickTheGreat]

Did you go pee in her makeup after this?

 

[rskelhorn]

Well, at least she didn't drop her tampon in it........

too far lol...

 

[kevron]

Well, at least she didn't drop her tampon in it........

 

[Dan]

Hell knows no fury like a woman's scorn. Not a crap load you can do to change that except never give her the fury in the first place. Depending on the woman? That will be probable or impossible!

 

[Schlenkerla]

Last night I was saying that we teach people how to treat us. Also that there are consequences for our actions.

 

[Schlenkerla]

This was in response to the wimping out suggestion and that control issues might be at play.

 

[browder]

The grass is gonna need mowing--run that mower across that bitches flower beds-problem solved---
Most you guys sound like you're watching to much Montel & Dr. Phil

 

[downtown3641]

The grass is gonna need mowing--run that mower across that bitches flower beds-problem solved---
Most you guys sound like you're watching to much Montel & Dr. Phil

You're kidding, right?

 

[fearwig]

The grass is gonna need mowing--run that mower across that bitches flower beds-problem solved---
Most you guys sound like you're watching to much Montel & Dr. Phil

Heeeeeee

yuk

Anybody got some advice who isn't three-times divorced and living out of his truck?

 

[The Moravian]

Man, do you have issues! LOL.

 

[The Moravian]

My wife doesn't like my brewing but would not sabatoge it. I brew on my own budget.

If she did, the house budget would be be buying me a stainless rig and it would be drop shipped to my new home.

In the mean... I mean, mean time. I'd be tempted to mess up her stuff.
1) Every piece of her clothing would have a hole or cigarette burn in it.
2) I'd grab every pair of high heel shoes she owns and saw 1/2" off the heel on just one shoe.
3) I'd bust at least one hook on each of her bras after i put odorless bengay on the left D cup.
4) I'd put nair in her shampoo
5) I'd dip all of of the light bulbs in garlic juice then screw them back into the sockets.
6) I stuff fresh shrimp inside the curtain rods in the living room.
7) I'd put her work email address on every porn website that I could find.
8) I'd make sure I have mobile remote control of her xfinity cable box with it set to record WWF wresting on PPV only during prime time.
9) I'd use facesniff to post MILF & Sugar Daddy's links on her Facebook Wall.
10) I'd brew beer on my new rig and think of some other crap to do to her.

Man, do you have issues!
Raw shrimp in the curtain rods?
I spit coffee all over my kindle. LOL

 

[browder]

You're kidding, right?

Hell no---

 

[drainbamage]

you're single , right?

ftfy

 

[downtown3641]

ftfy

His wife is likely stored deflated under his bed.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Man, do you have issues!
Raw shrimp in the curtain rods?
I spit coffee all over my kindle. LOL

The idea with the shrimp is when it rots it will smell like catfish chum.

Who would look for it inside the curtain rod?

 

[Schlenkerla]

I spent four years in the Marine Corps. That alone makes me twisted. Not to mention and I have had roommates where I have done crap like this too after they have tried to screw me somehow. That aside, I excel at getting even.

 

[icebob]

Women, they're all the same except your mother, but even then, ask your father

 

[Temptd2]

Women, they're all the same except your mother, but even then, ask your father

:es:

 

[Yooper]

Women, they're all the same except your mother, but even then, ask your father

Yep. They suck. They can't brew beer or anything.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Women, they're all the same except your mother, but even then, ask your father

Unless your wife or mother is a transsexual/transvestite. Go ahead ask your father.

 

[drainbamage]

Yep. They suck. They can't brew beer or anything.

Duh, cuz the cooties keep infecting the wort!

 

[sandyeggoxj]

Women, they're all the same except your mother, but even then, ask your father

This made me laugh out loud. I hate to bump this thread for so many reasons, but I had to quote this and respond! I have recently had conversations that revolved around this with my dad.

Cheers!

 

[BigJack]

After reading through the latter half of this thread, I have a renewed gratitude for the sane, loving, supportive marriage I have with my wife. It would seem that Jerry Springer - level relationship ass-hattery is more common than I suspected.

 

[JonM]

Somehow, my favorite Deep Thought with Jack Handey popped into my mind.

"When I think back about all the arguments Martha and I have had over the years, I realize how silly they were. Which makes me wonder why she would want to argue about such stupid things in the first place. I think I'll go ask her."

 

[CanadianBacon]

I have been watching this from the first 6 posts, Great reading material for work.

 

[icebob]

there is no such thing as canadian bacon, it's frikkin ham!!!!
P.S. I'm Canadian too!

 

[troy2000]

there is no such thing as canadian bacon, it's frikkin ham!!!!
P.S. I'm Canadian too!

It's a specific cut of cured and smoked pork (i.e., bacon), which in the US is called Canadian bacon - in spite of you, not because of you.

There's a historical basis for it:

Bacon made only from the loin is sold as "Canadian Bacon" or "Canadian-Style Bacon" in the United States. It does not include the belly at all, and is sold as lean medallions that are reminiscent of sliced ham. Canadian-style bacon is cut from the lean eye of the loin, which is taken from the middle of back. It is fully cooked and it is usually smoked. In the early 20th century the British began importing "side bacon" from Canada due to a pork shortage. This product, which was smoked, was referred to as "Wiltshire Sides". The ensuing popularity of this "Canadian" bacon style led to the introduction in the United States of the smoked preparation known as Canadian-style bacon today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_bacon

Stay tuned for a flood of posts about English muffins, French dressing, Chinese chop suey, German potato salad, Swedish meat balls, Mexican tres leches cake, Belgian waffles, and other supposed ethnic, cultural or national dishes we ignorant and insensitive Americans pass off as the real thing....

 

[soccerdad]

F*ckin' Swedes don't got no da*n meat balls !! Was the sabotaging wife a swede? Or a Fin? Or a 'wegian? Can't trust those northern Europeans !!

 

[GuldTuborg]

As a Dane, I only eat meatballs if made from 100% ground Swede. Anything else isn't worth my time.

 

[HumulusHead]

Is anybody else wondering if this guy is alive????


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[JonM]

What's this about Swedes and cooking?



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[soccerdad]

Is anybody else wondering if this guy is alive?

The OP?? No way! He's dead. Castration gone bad ... he bled out.

 

[troy2000]

As a Dane, I only eat meatballs if made from 100% ground Swede. Anything else isn't worth my time.

What? No Finn soup?

 

[chocotaco]

What's this about Swedes and cooking?
View attachment 200281


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Swedish Chef's homebrew recipe for his blue-ribbon IPA:

Bork:
67% Bork
20% Derk
10% Borka derk
3% Derka

Derk:
60m 10 IBU Borkoo
30m 20 IBU Borker burr
10m 10 IBU Derka borka
10m 10 IBU Bork borka
5m 10 IBU Borka borkerr durr
Bork:
1 oz Borka bork borker durrka 20m
1 oz Borkaaaa bork bork? 20m

Derr bork:
1 oz Borkaaaa
2 oz Bork borka bork
3 oz Gobbla Gobbla humungoo!

Bork:
64F borka berg 2 borkilly derk

Derka bork:
Borka derk derrtiboor borkity kerr ka boritkul borrt.

Note: In order to import this recipe into BeerSmith, you must download the Swedish Muppet Language Pack.

 

[HumulusHead]

The OP?? No way! He's dead. Castration gone bad ... he bled out.

Castration gone bad?!?!

Versus one going well???? Ha


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[sputnam]

Is anybody else wondering if this guy is alive????


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death didn't cross my mind but I was wondering what has happened to him...he has really missed out on some good advice - NOT.

it appears that he has a very sporadic posting habit. A post here then wait a couple months then another wait a few weeks. He's liable to pop up and tell us how good his dandelion beer is

 

[Schlenkerla]

Yeah. Maybe triple hopped IPA with poison sumac, poison oak, and dry hopped with some poison ivy.

Best IPA Eva.... all swollen up and splotchy faced, and itching like a mofo.

 

[HumulusHead]

Itchy livers are the worst!


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