Why I hate SWMBO

[the_bird]

And Beerthoven made me want to go buy some candles.

For post 500, we hope...

 

[BrewWench]

But what I'm talking about is a general attitude that I find common among men with ANY hobby, which is that their women are into opposition to it to a point that seems unreasonable of anyone who should be understanding.

You need to find some less spineless friends.

Really, any guy who marries a chick like that, in my experience, is extremely superficial and views her appearance and upkeep as maximally important. Just don't marry someone for whom vanity is important! End of story.

It's not our fault that some men choose crappy wives.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

Sorry this is one other post I need to respond to directly.

I'm not sure what's more sexist - the fact that you are assuming that these men have married women who don't like beer

I'm talking about the ones that have, not assuming that it is always the case

that you are assuming that by far most of these brewers are, in fact, men,

I think it would be safe to say that almost every single brewer on this board who uses the term SWMBO is a man, except for BY FAR the minority lesbian brewer population.

OR that you are extending your knowledge of your friend's wife to all other women, thereby stereotyping all women as being shrewish, unsupportive harpies, like this "one girl you know".

Again, I'm talking about the ones who ARE, and expressing my disbelief that men would allow themselves to be subjected to disapproval by someone they love over something they are passionate.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

You need to find some less spineless friends.

Really, any guy who marries a chick like that, in my experience, is extremely superficial and views her appearance and upkeep as maximally important. Just don't marry someone for whom vanity is important! End of story.

It's not our fault that some men choose crappy wives.

I never said these were my friends, and I agree that a large part of the problem is vanity. And why are you taking my rant personally that you feel you need to personally defend yourself and claim it's not your fault?

 

[McKBrew]

When wives and girlfriends complain about their mans hobby, it usually means that the man pays too much attention to the hobby, only talks about the hobby, and is basically obsessed to the point where he doesn't take an interest in anything the woman has to say.

Sometimes I think I'm guilty of that. It's difficult for me not to spend much of my time thinking about beer. I usually get a some guff from my wife about brewing. Considering that she can't stand the smell of beer, grew up with an alcoholic mother, who neglected her to the point that some bad things happened and yet she still allows me to brew/drink beer says a lot for her character and I am willing to deal with the occasional argument and try to limit my discussions of beer in order to keep doing what I like and keep her happy.

 

[BrewWench]

I think too many people buy into this force-fed "men are from mars, women are from venus" bull**** and think guys should like steaks and sports and women should like shopping and vanity.

Ooops, this is what I meant to quote. Your friends are simply marrying women who are superficial and are not looking past stereotypes - I see it all the time, and I know what you mean, but no one is falling into this stereotype more than your buds who apparently thought it was OK to marry women who don't support their hobbies.

Alamo - you mean I get to brew beer AND wear pink boots!!! OMG this rocks.

 

[Moonshae]

My wife doesn't like the taste of beer, and she won't drink it. I don't really care; more for me. I brew my beer, and incur those expenses, which are generally less than buying the same amount of craft beer, and she can buy her $75 bottles of tequila, and neither of us complain about the other. I'll pour myself a beer then pour her a shot, and we drink together, each with something we like.

Just because she doesn't like it herself doesn't automatically mean she's unsupportive of me brewing and drinking my product.

 

[BrewWench]

And why are you taking my rant personally that you feel you need to personally defend yourself and claim it's not your fault?

Oh, I definitely take stereotypes against women personally.

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke. Even if MrFebtober and I didn't share the same hobbies, we still love hearing about the others' - there's very little "minding your own business" in a marriage.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

no one is falling into this stereotype more than your buds

I repeat, I'm not talking about my friends.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke.

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

 

[EdWort]

can't help you out bud, my wife starts bitching as soon as the keg runs dry.

+1 Yep. In my house it's "Is the Haus Ale ready yet?" or "The Apfelwein Keg needs changing again".

I am a lucky man! :cross:

 

[McKBrew]

Damn, some people are in the mood to argue today.

 

[eschatz]

This thread is borderline amusing.

this thread is hilarious. most brewers are men, in any sane persons assumption. and most spouses are going to respect the things that make their better half happy. exceptions to the rule are always lurking around corners but they cant be held as the model for all standards.

nothing cracks me up more than when we try to have a serious conversation about something other than beer

 

[blacklab]

Dude, you need to...

 

[adrock]

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke.

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

Wow, dude. I'll second that upon first reading of your OP, it didn't sound like you were using SWMBO in the same tongue-in-cheek fashion as the rest of this community typically does. So I read it again.........nope, still doesn't sound like a joke.

With that in mind, next time you disagree with someone else's synopsis of your poorly worded post, you should probably come up with a more understanding and respectful rebuttal than what you've written above.

And if you don't like Evan!'s "childish dismissal" of your post, maybe you shouldn't have written such an uninformed, infantile OP.

 

[jfrizzell]

I never said these were my friends...

Umm, yeah you did...

...I just spent a few hours drinking at a buddy's house, and his lady couldn't stop putting beer down...

At least where I'm from, buddies are friends...

I repeat, I'm not talking about my friends.

Umm, yeah you are...

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

We did, it seems you can't remember what you wrote, or haven't learned to read...

 

[EdWort]

Folks need to chill here. Thread lock in 7....6....5....4....

 

[the_bird]

Sounds like you were deliberately provoking your buddy's g/f, which is kinda immature on its own. It's his problem, anyway - not yours, and not the problem of anyone else here, really. I can recall very, very few people around here who have had truly UNsupporting significant others; they don't all like beer, but they let us do our thing, and most of them make some effort to be supportive. My wife drinks my beer, doesn't mind me talking about it SOMETIMES, lets me put on the Jamil Show on long drives, loves it when I bring beer to show off at parties, and likes going to new pubs with me (even if I can't get her to drink an IPA).

She's not going to start posting here anytime soon, but she doens't mind that I do.

I tend to think my experience is MUCH more common than that you describe.

 

[Jester369]

IB4TL?

I've never been a fan of the whole 'obeyed' thing in relationships, as it implies that one half of the couple makes the rules and the other follows them. That said, I have no problem with the use of SWMBO here - it is almost universally a tongue in cheek label, generally used in a caring way. I'm far too lazy to type it all out, so I just refer to my lady as Red Besides, if she ever thought I was 'obeying' her, she'd probably be annoyed with me.



(p.s. name calling sux)

 

[Dr Vorlauf]

My wife dosent drink. She supports my brewing and buys beer ingredients at the LBHS if she is in the area.

Also I got a kegging kit for fathers day and me and my son did an all grain last week....


My whole family is into it.. just not the drinking part.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I think in any real relationships there are things one gives and takes. If I was still single, I would eat ramen noodles for two weeks so I could save for some new stainless fittings. However, it is not fair of me to ask my wife to do the same. In that respect, when you become deeply involved with someone, you automatically have to consider their wishes before making any decisions. I think for most people, the "I need clearance from the SWMBO" thing is about money. If we were all billionaires I don't think it would be a big deal, but when we are talking about equipment upgrades or other large purchases, whether your significant other likes beer or not is irrelevant. It is tough to argue that you need a SS conical more than food or a nice date out alone.

 

[Tonedef131]

My wife rules and I look forward to her opinion of everything I brew. I think she has a more sensitive pallet than I do and I take what she says very seriously. She loves beer, not as broad of styles as I do, but considering she drank BMC when we started dating I am very happy. The whole "If she isn't happy, nobody is" mentality goes both ways. Whether it is the husband or wife, no household is peaceful if they are not trying to please each other. You gotta let those stereotypes go man, I know as many men who don't like beer as I do women.

That said SWMBO is extremely irritating. It was never that clever or funny to begin with and I wish it would go away.

 

[Alamo_Beer]

It is tough to argue that you need a SS conical more than a nice date out alone.

But honey the conical will last a LIFETIME! We're just talking about 1 night here.

 

[Jester369]

It is tough to argue that you need a SS conical more than food or a nice date out alone.

Heh heh heh... Red bought me mine

 

[EdWort]

My SWMBO MADE me build a brewhaus. Heh heh heh.

She can't wait till all my stuff is out of the garage, kitchen, living room, family room, laundry room, etc.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

I'm going to just leave this one to die because you guys are taking my responses to one post and applying them to another. I can't go through and respond to all of that.


You've all made your point, clearly you see things differently than I do.

 

[cheezydemon]

Well, the title alone was less than PC.

But it is simple, anyone who puts "love of beer" on their checklist of potential spouses has just cut some of the best potential mates out of the equation.

Besides, HE married her, you didn't, what's the problem?

 

[Alamo_Beer]

I wish there as an Anti-Prost button sometimes

 

[blacklab]

I'm going to just leave this one to die because you guys are taking my responses to one post and applying them to another. I can't go through and respond to all of that.

You can't stop multi quote, you can only try to contain it.

 

[Beerthoven]

I wish there as an Anti-Prost button sometimes

Go to the toolbar at the top of the thread and look for "Rate Thread". Give the thread one star, which means it's a terrible thread. I've done it before.

 

[Alamo_Beer]

Go to the toolbar at the top of the thread and look for "Rate Thread". Give the thread one star, which means it's a terrible thread. I've done it before.

Done

 

[Special Hops]

My wife does not drink beer. But she doesn't care if I brew it and drink it.

Fine by me. That leaves more beer for me.

 

[DubbelDach]

http://www.terifahrendorf.com/pink-boots-society.htm

Yay Whitney! (PA - Troeg's, but formerly of ABC)

 

[scox80]

In slims defense (which is going to be a slim one....haha) I can see where he is coming from......

First of all putting in perspective slims night....he was drinking and arguing with someone who was obviously purposely pushing his buttons...or she really is just a leather wearing, whip wielding....well Yooper's avatar. This person just happen to be his friends woman...or for the sake of making more accustomed to this forum... this person just happen to be his friends SWMBO.

He obviously came home with a buzz and attacked an innocent little acronym due to his experience with the literal meaning of it. Unfortunately the way he worded the OP, he seemed to be addressing all of us. And of course since we are all proud to have the women that we do... especially Jester ;-) ... we got offended. I see his point though. The fact is.. there are women that are like that and there are men who date and/or court them and put up with them. I can't count the times I have told a guy..."seriously it's easy you should start brewing too. It's a blast and VERY rewarding, cheap too...kinda!" Just to get a response like..."yeah I don't think I could get my wife to buy into it." I have a friend that is like that with his lady. I swear to god she carries his manhood in her Coach make up bag that he bought for her. But she's hot and thats all that matters to him. Guess what he's not on this forum toying with phrase SWMBO either. What I'm trying to say is, Slim I feel ya bro, it bugs me to see it too. But there is a reason why you don't hear about it a lot on this board. We all have the exact opposite of a SWMBO. And we all are very proud of that. Which is why we so freely use that term. Basically we are all making fun of the women who are like that.

And to everyone else who got irritated with his FAILED rant....do you remember that last time you were a little druck and someone argued with you about something you truly care about...ya kinda stay pissed off till the next morning when you wake up. He just addressed the wrong crowd with his rant. While he was probably addressing just the people who do have these type of relationships he just did it on the wrong forum.

 

[adrock]

I'm with you scox, if that's what was really going on. I failed to see the first time around that the thread was started @ 1 am Austin time. Heaven knows I've had some drunken rants in my day! And we are in the "Drunken Ramblings" forum, so it makes sense to me.

My apologies for the harshness of my criticism to the OP's harsh criticism.

 

[Buford]

My wife simply does not like the taste of beer (other than a Bavarian hefeweizen). She does not disapprove of me brewing, in fact, she encourages me to do it because she knows how much I enjoy it.

I think beer is mainly "a guy's thing" and, of course, there are many exceptions. There are quite a few female brewers here at HBT and they are just as knowledgeable as the male brewers. I'm just saying, in general terms, guys like beer more than girls like beer.

While a generalization, this may be partially due to social perception of it and that generally females are more likely to be "supertasters". It's a genetic thing. "Supertasters" perceive bitterness much more strongly and sharply and tend to find it completely unlikable. It isn't unknown in men, but it's more likely to express in women. A "supertaster" is unlikely to ever enjoy the taste of beer or things like black coffee or unsweetened tea.

 

[buckrogers71]

i didnt read this thread all the way through but on another board we call the wife, or SWMBO, the bridal unit... i do things to extent to appease the "bridal unit" but i wont let it stand in bewteen stuff i like to do, Ie: drink beer, play golf, etc (starting to brew this fall...I feel like a little giddy child)

i know for a fact if not for my "swmbo" i would prolly be face down in a gutter.

 

[Aleforge]

Ignorant or not, I still feel women love to argue.

 

[menschmaschine]

To the OP:

Based on your description of your experience at your buddy's house, I think there's a pretty good chance that this is the case: It's not so much that your buddy's "lady" doesn't like beer, it's that she doesn't like you. Being anti-beer (which she was probably somewhat ambivalent about before getting into a debate with you) was just a way for her to vent her negative emotions of having to be around you.

Now, I'm not saying anything bad about you (sometimes people just plain don't like each other)... I'm just saying I don't think your buddy's girl likes you and with that in the picture, your "friendship" with your buddy is on thin ice.

Just my $.02

 

[PeteOz77]

I prescribe

THIS

For SWFAM

Then we can move on....