Why do all SWMBOs hate brewing and what to do about it?

[Miraculix]

Let's discuss one of the universe's big mysteries.

"Brewing AGAIN?"

"Don't you have enough beer already?"

"Who is going to drink all this?"

"What's in this parcel that just got delivered?"

"Why is there a wooden barrel standing in the bedroom?"

Those who don't know these sentences from their own significant other can call themself lucky and should get in front of the altar as quickly as possible to secure this big catch.

For all others, let's discuss. Why do our beloved ones do not like brewing and what to do about it?

I heard about brewing a corn only beer to confuse the ladies with the smell of corn muffins instead of wort.

Great one, I see potential. What else do we got?

 

[Aleforge]

The only issue my wife had was when I used the stove when starting out. She still brings that up anytime I brew, as in "you better not make a mess with the stove". Ignoring that fact that I haven't used it in 15 years.

 

[McMullan]

Those who don't know these sentences from their own significant other can call themself lucky and should get in front of the altar as quickly as possible to secure this big catch.

I had to read that bit again, because first time I thought it read to secure this big batch, which seemed to make a lot of sense. I'm lucky really. My wife's only issue with my brewing was that I occupied the kitchen all day. Now I've got a dedicated brew room in the basement she keeps telling me to go brew in it

 

[Miraculix]

The only issue my wife had was when I used the stove when starting out. She still brings that up anytime I brew, as in "you better not make a mess with the stove". Ignoring that fact that I haven't used it in 15 years.

Typical swmbo talk! You could build yourself a brewing shed on Mars and brew only there and she would still bring that one with the kitchen up every time .

 

[Miraculix]

I had to read that bit again, because first time I thought it read to secure this big batch, which seemed to make a lot of sense. I'm lucky really. My wife's only issue with my brewing was that I occupied the kitchen all day. Now I've got a dedicated brew room in the basement she keeps telling me to go brew in it

Is there maybe a slight undertone that you're not recognizing when she says "go and brew in your brew room!"?

I sense danger....

 

[matt_m]

Mine is glad I have a hobby I enjoy. She was the one who encouraged me to give brewing a shot. She supported a basement remodel to create a nice place to do it and all my buying and selling to try different gear. She even reminded me just yesterday I need to do an inventory since we’ll be by my no-so-local home brew shop in a couple weeks. Sunday mornings I like to get up early and brew, she likes to sleep in so it works out well for us.

 

[RevA]

It gives mine time to paint or make soap, also I think the fact that it gets me out of her hair might be part of the reason she supports my brewing.

 

[Miraculix]

It gives mine time to paint or make soap, also I think the fact that it gets me out of her hair might be part of the reason she supports my brewing.

I See, you're at that stage of the relationship.... My problem is... I make the soap as well .

 

[bailey mountain brewer]

I'm one of the lucky ones, my wife enjoys brewing and also enjoys the beer we make, one of the reasons I married her haha. She actually gets upset if she can't help on a brewday. I've actually been giving her more responsibility in the brewery because she wants to learn more, though I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to certain batches. Next month she is brewing a batch on her own at our annual homebrew club brewday. I'll be supervising other novice members and her but she has designed the recipe and everything.

 

[Craiginthecorn]

Mine wasn't too happy decades ago when I was brewing on our kitchen stove and the pot which was too wide caused scorching of our Formica countertop. Eventually, she got a solid surface replacement a couple decades later, but she still let me continue to brew. We have a silent agreement about packages. I don't ask about her seemingly endless stream of packages from various clothing and shoe outlets and she doesn't ask about my frequent deliveries from brewing and camera stores. (I get the better end of that deal...I think.)

 

[mashpaddled]

I would never refer to my wife like that and never understood why that was a thing here. Makes it sound like a miserable relationship.

My wife doesn't have interest in brewing but has no problem with it. She likes drinking my beer and tolerates the mess I sometimes make. I can only think of one friend who has a spouse that complains when he mentions starting winemaking again, but their relationship is not great for other reasons. All of my other friends who brew have supportive spouses.

 

[FloppyKnockers]

Just wow. Even after making a mess of the stove (years back) several times, she didn't care too much. I cleaned the best I could then she cleaned better.

She doesn't like brewing, doesn't care to learn, but she will definitely add thoughts and feedback on brews - what she likes, what she doesn't like, etc.

 

[grampamark]

My wife doesn’t complain. She, and our daughter, got me into brewing 11 years ago by buying me a NB starter kit for Xmas. She retired from teaching the following spring and decided to take up quilting as a retirement hobby.

Fast forward 11 years and her quilting addiction hobby has cost approx. 5X what my homebrewing has cost. I don’t complain, either. After 51 years, and surviving cancer, she’s more than worth it.

 

[Kent88]

All I do is try to keep out of my kitchen during meal prep time, try to clean up as I go, clean up when I finish, and brew a reasonable amount. That mostly keeps me out of trouble.

That and never refer to my spouse as swmbo.

 

[govner1]

Let's discuss one of the universe's big mysteries.

"Brewing AGAIN?"

"Don't you have enough beer already?"

"Who is going to drink all this?"

"What's in this parcel that just got delivered?"

"Why is there a wooden barrel standing in the bedroom?"

Those who don't know these sentences from their own significant other can call themself lucky and should get in front of the altar as quickly as possible to secure this big catch.

For all others, let's discuss. Why do our beloved ones do not like brewing and what to do about it?

I heard about brewing a corn only beer to confuse the ladies with the smell of corn muffins instead of wort.

Great one, I see potential. What else do we got?

Absolutely no problems with my wife here. In fact, she’s the one that got me started brewing!
Now my daughter brews with me most days and is even a BJCP judge!
So life is good!

 

[jcav]

My wife likes the beers I make and I got her into making soap and cider and she supports me in my brewing. Many years ago when I first started brewing I brewed extract beers and boiled the wort on the stove. After a few sticky boil overs I got banned from the kitchen and she banished me to the back lanai.

Because I got thrown out of the kitchen, I credit her with making me jump into all grain brewing faster than I would have at the time. But then I fell down the rabbit hole and the money I have spent over the years between my electric rig, conical fermenters, freezers, glycol chiller, 10 kegs, C02 tanks, an oxygen tank, yeast starter equipment, keg cleaning system, kegerators, fancy bar etc., and all the extra gear, and gadgets, and not to mention all the upgrades as I am never totally done adding to my system, I think she may rather have dealt with a boil over here and there!

John

 

[DonT]

The only time she complains is when I make a mess.

Like this past weekend.
I brewed a wee heavy and pulled a gallon off to boil down on the stove. Well, of course I walked away! I've got another boil going on! You guessed it...mess. Lots of swearing after that (mine not hers...lol)
I had to endure her comments for the rest of the day... but she likes my wee heavy.

 

[FromZwolle]

take her to the store and buy 5 gallons of craft beer.

 

[Franktalk]

My wife bought me my first homebrewing kit 28 years ago. She has always loved that it makes me so happy. She also has hobbies, so we coordinate one of the weekend days where I can brew, and she can ply her hobby(s). I work in my basement brewery listening to oldies and she works upstairs on whatever she is doing, usually learning languages. Every now and then she comes down and does a silly dance to my oldies.

For the first 15 years or so that I brewed, she didn't drink. That was okay to me because it was just something I seemed to be compelled to do. Can't really explain why I get such a kick out of brewing beer. I've always liked craft beer, at least since there has been such a thing. But I like brewing even more than I like beer. Ever since we took a trip to Belgium a dozen or so years ago, she has loved my beer and other craft beer as well. It seems that I have helped her expand her horizons.

I agree with those who have previously objected to the acronym "SWMBO." It has never been that way with us. We are a team: sometimes my wisdom prevails and SMOM and other times her intuition and intelligence prevail, and in those cases I agree to obey her.

I would have to say that brewing and beer has made us a better and certainly a happier unit.

 

[bailey mountain brewer]

These threads are fun for me, I enjoy ppls sense of humor and then there are some that take it to serious. For decades ppl joke about the old ball and chain, now replaced by swmbo or hwmbo. I feel like these and some rant threads are just that, and they are meant to stay that way. I think I'll brew an all corn beer and make cornbread at the same time, then I'll make a pumpkin beer and bake some pumpkin pies that day, no one will know, but what when I make a dank IPA? Bake some ... uhhh, brownies?

 

[passedpawn]

I do none of it in the kitchen and she's OK with it. I also get up crazy early and do it before she awakes, so there's that. You guys don't know me, but I have a LOT of other hobbies/interests that are similarly messy, so brewing is just a small part of the big messy picture haha.

I will say this: I get her $$ jewelry on holidays/birthdays. I don't know exactly how her brain works, but for some reason that keeps everything OK.

 

[jrgtr42]

|Mine only complains that i vanish to the basement for several hours at a time, during the limited time that I have on weekends and such to do other (in her mind) more important tasks like cleaning, or when the kiddo gets too rambunctious, or won't listen to other requests as well.
|But she likes that I have the hobby, and that the batches cost less than a similar amount of commercial beer. even when the equipment costs are amortized in.

 

[renstyle]

Glad for folks that had a SO that was cool with you brewing. I however became single 2 years before starting this hobby up, so I don't have many of the issues that others have mentioned.

My kids tho, don't care for a lager mash day "it smells weird dad!" they say. Other brews less so, but the mash/boil is their less favored timeframe. Past that day, it changes tho....

Ironically (or not) my boys (13 and 15) enjoy tasting the results of a brew day. I have a collection of "flight" glasses that hold 2-3 oz, perfect for tasters. They have each chosen their own glasses.

No, before you ask, I don't care that my minor boys try MY BEER in MY PRESENCE. If anything they will learn that there are MANY beer styles out there and Busch Latte is not high on the list...

 

[RCope]

I, too have had, and still have, a lot of hobbies/interests in my life. With brewing I'm at home, I can still take care of the dogs (kids are *mostly* out of the house), and I can let my wife sleep in on a Sunday morning (aka brew day). So I get no grief from her about that. Plus, my wife has an excellent palate and has given me good feedback over the years. She will drink a beer once a week or less, and only when she joins me for my weekly beer run/walk with the crew. Other interests have been more contentious in the past. So no complaints here, sorry!

 

[PberBob]

My kids tho, don't care for a lager mash day "it smells weird dad!" they say. Other brews less so, but the mash/boil is their less favored timeframe. Past that day, it changes tho....

My wife and kids grouse about the smell sometimes, but they’re still willing to help mashing in, carrying the fermenter back and forth, and filling bottles.

My wife appreciates the fact that the kitchen floor gets mopped after the brew day.

 

[Miraculix]

I'm actually pretty much surprised (almost shocked, almost...) that people take this post seriously

To all the good people having the wife tolerating the wooden barrel in the bedroom, I salute you! Next corn muffin is on me!

Cheers!

 

[Pkrd]

When I was brewing in the kitchen I always left it much cleaner than I found it.

 

[wstumper]

My wife doesn't like beer. Never picked up the habit. But, she never complains. In fact, she encourages me to brew! The only time she helps is if I bottle.
To make it even more interesting, she's beginning to pick-up the beer lingo and sounds like a brewer!

 

[estricklin]

My wife doesn't give a flying whack at a rolling doughnut about the brewing, or how much money I spend on it, as long as it's not in the kitchen. She also doesn't have any problems helping to drink the homebrews.

 

[AlexKay]

I know this is just joking, and I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, but ... let's try to lay off the stereotypes, as we try to make this forum a comfortable place for women who brew.

 

[matt_m]

I know this is just joking, and I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, but ... let's try to lay off the stereotypes, as we try to make this forum a comfortable place for women who brew.

Have you seen the way they talk about us at the vintage market?

And by the way I’m dead serious.

 

[FromZwolle]

I do none of it in the kitchen and she's OK with it. I also get up crazy early and do it before she awakes, so there's that. You guys don't know me, but I have a LOT of other hobbies/interests that are similarly messy, so brewing is just a small part of the big messy picture haha.

I will say this: I get her $$ jewelry on holidays/birthdays. I don't know exactly how her brain works, but for some reason that keeps everything OK.

my wife only complains when i make a washed rind or blue ripened cheese. that's a smell only the cheese fiend can appreciate.

aside from that, no one likes someone else's mess. if i clean up my mess, no one seems to mind a few hours of cluttered 'maker-space' on a saturday.

 

[Dland]

Never did have my gal complain 'cause I was brewing, ..so I guess I should be appreciative there.

Brewing outside helps, I think.

 

[aceluby]

Our kitchen has never been cleaner since I started brewing. I also teach my wife about all the things I learn and she at least seems genuinely interested in what I pick up. She also loves IPAs, so as long as I keep some on tap she’s tolerant of my brewing adventures

 

[K_tile]

No complaints here. Just kegged 40 gallons (Marzen, Munich Dunkel, Schwarzbier and a Dortmunder) for our Octoberfest party. Wife is the one pushing me to open a brewery.

 

[Beekeeper]

Only problem in this house is that it is difficult for wife to make it up/down the basement stairs to the keezer, so I often hear "my growler's empty," so I may make an extra trip to fill it with a style she might enjoy.

 

[easttex]

The only problem my wife has with me brewing is that it forces her to watch the kid. She brews too so she understands the "why" and doesn't question that. She does wonder why I brew all grain when her extract kits are just as tasty.

 

[pvtpublic]

Concerning the SWMBO debate, my wife would get a kick out of that title! She would probably call me HWMO, he-who-must-obey. But, I have that kind of relationship with my wife where we can make those jokes and laugh together.

I do none of it in the kitchen and she's OK with it. I also get up crazy early and do it before she awakes, so there's that. You guys don't know me, but I have a LOT of other hobbies/interests that are similarly messy, so brewing is just a small part of the big messy picture haha.

I will say this: I get her $$ jewelry on holidays/birthdays. I don't know exactly how her brain works, but for some reason that keeps everything OK.

This sounds eerily familiar....did I somehow post this under your name?

 

[seatazzz]

Oh I just raced through all of the above posts so I could get to the bottom, as I guess I am 'technically' the SWMBO. But I am also the brewer in the family; husband has NO problem with my brewing whatsoever. Typically every Friday he asks if I'm brewing that weekend, and I haven't heard the dreaded "again????" in a few years. The medals and ribbons on my wall attest to that. Also the fact that I don't buy commercial beer, unless it's something new we might want to try brewing at some point. He has his own hobbies, mainly bowling and golf; his project this weekend is turning part of our office into a storage space/showcase for his bowling balls via some cheap cubbies from IKEA. And he will brag to anyone who will listen about his wife who makes some damned good beer (mostly). He's also pushed me into buying new equipment, when it's needed; he's pushing me now to get a glycol chiller, but I'm waiting to find the best deal. We have our issues, as a lot of married couples do; but when it comes to brewing, he is my enabler, first tester, and best drinking buddy.

 

[balrog]

My significant other wanted me to get a hobby.
She rues the day.
She does not like beer or the aromas associated with it's creation (dunno how anyone cannot like the aroma of the mash, but there you are).
I brew in the garage and use the kitchen very little, mostly when she's out for the rare times I bottle, or the short periods I'm cleaning.