What not to say on a first date!

[Fingers]

"Do you put out on the first date? It would be good to know before I spend all this money...."

 

[Yooper]

True one that happened on a first (and only) date:

"Are you going to finish that? I'll eat it if you don't want the rest of it".

Um, no. Go right ahead. Here, have my wine, too.

 

[Fingers]

"Well, you're no YooperBrew, but come on, let's go."

 

[Yooper]

Thanks Fingers!


More true ones-

"I forgot to mention that I'm a Jehovah's Witness. Can we talk about the hereafter? Do you know the only true way to paradise on earth?"

"You're hot. Do you do threesomes?"

(Those were NOT from the same guy, of course!)

"Pull my finger!"

 

[eddie]

"I normally try to date women that I find physically attractive but I figured I'd try something different with you."

 

[Bernie Brewer]

"Good lord you have a huge poosy. Good lord you have a huge poosy"

"You didn't have to say it twice"

"I didn't."

ROFLAMO!!!!!!

 

[Bernie Brewer]

A boy's best friend IS his mother..............

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Why don't we get drunk and screw???

 

[shecky]

"I forgot to mention that I'm a Jehovah's Witness. Can we talk about the hereafter? Do you know the only true way to paradise on earth?"

If you believe in the hereafter, then you know what I'm here after.

 

[schneemann]

If you believe in the hereafter, then you know what I'm here after.

Black Flag fan, eh?

 

[shecky]

Black Flag fan, eh?

Little bit, but not a lot.

 

[HBHoss]

no.. really, it was an island in the south pacific and they taught me the true delicacies of cannabalism.

 

[Bedlam]

True one that happened on a first (and only) date:

"Are you going to finish that? I'll eat it if you don't want the rest of it".

Um, no. Go right ahead. Here, have my wine, too.

Well, Yoop, if he couldn't take your "manly" table manners, then no way he'd have lasted much longer than the third date anyway. I call that an efficient weeding-out system.

 

[stevea1210]

So what time is recess?

My parole officer said I shouldn't be around women for awhile.

With an adams apple like that, are you SURE you aren't a man?

Are you familiar with the term Cleavland steamer?

 

[BlindLemonLars]

"For a fat girl, you don't sweat very much."

 

[ThebrewdawG]

What ever you do, never ever ever ever call her "Homegirl" ! I made this mistake and will never ever ever and I mean never ever ever and never again put my self in that place again!!!! Very bad memorys from 20 + years back .:fro:

 

[milracing]

Smell my beard.

 

[quickerNu]

My d*ck itches.

 

[Arneba28]

"You want to come in? Just be quiet, my mom's asleep."

I had one close to this, except she said it to me. "you want to come in? Just be quite my grandma is upstairs and my kids are in the other room"

No lie, while I was walking through her basement to her room I tripped and broke a case of mason jars lol.

 

[Arneba28]

I had a friend that while on a first date with a guy she met at a bar the night before

he says "are you a tranny, im really into that"

She is not a tranny but just has very manly facial features.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Your nose is pretty big, you must pick it a lot. You know that's really a bad habit.

Damn you are fat!!! I bet when you haul ass you gotta make two trips.

Oh yah, insult me all you want, I been told worse by better looking women.

 

[DrDuckbutter]

Have you gained weight??

 

[schneemann]

My sister has bigger tits.

 

[TXCrash]

My job sucks... will you?

 

[bashe]

"You're little sister is kinda hot."

 

[TXCrash]

I hope you're as good as your mom...

 

[shecky]

"I hope you're as good as my mom .."

 

[TXCrash]

Can my mom join?

Can your mom join?

 

[eddie]

can your dad join?

 

[eddie]

I brought my little brother along, as well. We bet twenty that you'll put out and he's here to keep score.