What not to say on a first date!

[jmulligan]

How small is that elf cotume


Ohh someone said that to you,,,,,,,,,,,,nevermind

ROTFLMAO! Yeah, it's a hell of a lot less sexy when it's a dude saying it. I wouldn't mind seeing tarted up chicks in elf-gear, but this guy... not so much. He even posed with a bow and arrow and perched on a rock for his self-portraits!

Save the crazy for at least the third date!

 

[shecky]

"i like my women like i like my coffee..."



"...ground up and in the freezer."

Somewhere in the Bay Area, an APB has just been issued.

 

[shecky]

I wouldn't mind seeing tarted up chicks in elf-gear


Save the crazy for at least the third date!

Um, I'll leave that first part alone. Too many mental images.

Second part brings to mind Jack Nicholson: "Sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here."

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Nice tits.

 

[shecky]

Nice tits, but mine are better. Wanna see?

 

[jmulligan]

"Sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here."

That's my favorite line out of that movie!

And here we all go, to soothe away the memories of the wreckage that was my lovelife... She's elvish or wood nymphish or something, right?

 

[shecky]

That's my favorite line out of that movie!

And here we all go, to soothe away the memories of the wreckage that was my lovelife... She's elvish or wood nymphish or something, right?

That's it. Jmull wins.

What were we talking about?

 

[kevinrmclean]

Wanna play "just the tip?"

It's not premarital sex if we don't have any intentions of getting married.

Can we do it? YES WE CAN......Obama said so!!

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Drill, baby, drill!

 

[Unkle Danky]

"If I had a dime for every time I exposed myself to elderly women in public I would probably be paying for this dinner."

 

[Unkle Danky]

"If you play your cards right you might get to meet the Ether Bunny"

 

[HBHoss]

My friends say you're a carpenters dream, do you like working with wood?

 

[DeathBrewer]

want some more?

so...who wants to play the "man" tonight?

heh...you wouldn't believe where this little guy was last night!

...and then i found out the bitch was pregnant...

can you get dinner tonight? i must have left my wallet at the strip club again...all i have are these wet singles.

 

[Robcore]

A friend of mine invited someone round before, and we were there too. We were drinking etc and everyone stopping over there, and later on when I was relaxing upstairs, he started talking to me and said "I think i've fallen deeply in love with her. I've had my eye on her for months seriously, it's only today I decided to talk to her."

This earned him the nickname "Stalker Steve"

 

[Yooper]

This one is from my husband. I was complaining about having trouble finding pants that fit, because I have a small butt. So, while I was trying to find a pair of jeans that didn't sag in the rear, my helpful husband said,

"Your ass is bigger than you think."

 

[Brewin_Bob]

I almost spit out french toast and syrup with that one Yoop!!

I like to walk up on my wife in the middle of Target or somewhere and do my best Ladies Man impersonation!

And, per the OT, don't use any of Leon Phelp's quotes/pickup lines.

What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

This one is from my husband. I was complaining about having trouble finding pants that fit, because I have a small butt. So, while I was trying to find a pair of jeans that didn't sag in the rear, my helpful husband said,

"Your ass is bigger than you think."

So then you get to use this the next time he's feeling amorous'

"You think I'm gonna fire up this big assed grill for one small weenie" not mine but, maybe appropriate.

 

[shecky]

"You think I'm gonna fire up this big assed grill for one small weenie" not mine but, maybe appropriate.

When you say that it sure sounds like, "Well, I have this friend ..."

 

[bashe]

"Want to see my swastika tattoo?"
"I just got Kenny G's new cd."
"Let me tell you about amway."
"I think I can fit this whole pork chop in my mouth...Watch"
"So a lawyer, a Jew and an Irishman walk into a bar..."
"Wow you have your own car!"

 

[6fiddyv]

So, do you spit or swallow?

 

[GregR]

d*nm it! I have a rash. . .

so I saw this show in T.J. over the weekend. . .

nice shoes, wanna ****?

[Ralph Wiggum]The doctor said my nose would stop bleeding if I could just keep my finger out of it[/ralph]

. . .and that was the second time I got crabs.

 

[BrianTheBrewer]

Wanna see how big it is.........???

 

[Bedlam]

Oh, how cute! It looks just like a penis, only smaller...

(Make sure to say while giggling.)

 

[EvilTOJ]

"Good lord you have a huge poosy. Good lord you have a huge poosy"

"You didn't have to say it twice"

"I didn't."

 

[schneemann]

I would do things to you that are illegal in most states




















































LIKE CUT YOU INTO PIECES AND WEAR YOUR FLESH LIKE IT WAS A SPORT COAT!

 

[Snakebone]

"Do farts have lumps?"

 

[eddie]

"You kiss like my sister!"

 

[BooneDocks]

Hi, my name is Daryl. This is my brother Daryl. And this is my other brother Daryl.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

I was naughty, I deserve a spankin'!!

Come on, Ya gotta gimme one, I was naughty, I DESERVE it!!!

 

[eddie]

"Since you look like such a whore, do you mind if we just skip dinner?"

"Wow! Your Dad's got a really nice ass!"