Soulive
Well-Known Member
What a comforting feeling to know that there are crazy, car-driving 7-yr-olds an hour north of me![]()
I think you should be more concerned about all those senior citizens down there...
What a comforting feeling to know that there are crazy, car-driving 7-yr-olds an hour north of me![]()
I think you should be more concerned about all those senior citizens down there...![]()
I'm sorry but the day my son slaps my wife in the face and tells her what's what his life will change drastically.
First, wouldn't hit him, hitting him I think would only teach him to hit when he's angry, so I'd punish his fat a$$ with good old fashion slave labor.
I grew up on a farm, my dad gave me my share of beatings, but none were more memorable than the hours of hard labor I did out in the fields to prove I was sorry.
Beat them a little when they are young and you may only have to do it a couple times in their life. They figure out that if they are out of line, they'll get spanked, and they start thinking twice about their actions.
I think this works very well. The littlest kids don't really understand other forms of punishment - even animals like dolphins, lots of birds, and several primates use corporal punishment on their offspring. I wouldn't condone slapping a teenager in the face, but hopefully it wouldn't get to that point.
I'm not 100% sure that there's a point where a kid needs to be hit but I haven't gotten to a point where I've exhausted other forms of negative reinforcement with my daughter (she's 3.5). The most dangerous result of going the route of yelling and hitting is teaching them that it's a reasonable way to deal with things (anger, frustration, disappointment). If you don't believe that, just ask yourself how they learn ANYTHING? They watch how you do it. The adage "do what I say, not what I do" is complete BS... it's a cute idea, but not in practice.
I'm not going to sit on a high horse and say that a basic time-out always works. It does 80% of the time but sometimes the kid escalates the situation and requires you to step up your game. The next step is taking away the most important thing, and so on and so on so that they realize that the tunnel just gets darker and darker. Obviously this is hard work and I don't believe every parent has the fortitude to do it... like that *********'s mom.
Spanking IS another tool in the arsenal. Throwing it out just because your mom/dad was a ****** and used it improperly is as silly as being a ****** and using it improperly.
+1 - physical punishment within reason and bounds is an effective tool when necessary. Especially when they are too young for reason and need an immediate and understandable reaction for their action. One good swat to get their attention and a firm "no" will most often be enough.
That doesn't mean getting druck and wildly swinging at your kids back with an extension cord - there is a firm line between abuse and discipline.
I'm not a parent so I can't really way in with an opinion. What I do know is that my parents generation got beaten as children and they were one of the best generations ever in my opinion. My generation has been taught that feelings are very important and that hitting is wrong, and we should respect one another and love everyone for who they are. What did I witness in my high-school years.... out of control drug issues with kids, rapes, sex before high-school, dumb ass kids, hitting your parents, sueing your parents, Columbine, etc., etc. etc. My generation makes me sick to my stomach.
One of my brothers has kids that he doesn't beat and can't say no to... they run his house. Another of my brothers has kids that he doesn't beat but disciplines well in other ways, his kids are well mannered and fun to be with. When I was a kid how many times do you think I disrespected my mom..... hmmmm I talked back to my mom last time, and then..... oh yeah, I cried for like 4 hours alone in my room after a wicked spanking. It only takes once with really little kids and it only takes a couple paddle wacks that really aren't even that hard. It is just so terrifying as a small child that you learn right quick.
Ed, my mom was a fan of the German spoon as well![]()
we (two brothers and i) got smacked around when we were growing up, and continued to be imbeciles. corporal punishment just made us tolerate pain. damned the consequences, we had a blast, and were right hellions!
Slightly OT, but anyone that doesn't have kids yet and thinks they have a solid plan... be prepared to abandon that plan and question everything the moment you do have kids. It's like the twighlight zone.
I am 24 and disappointed with a lot of people our age. The problem is a lack of respect at its core. If you didn't respect your parents as a little kid, then how are you going to truly respect anything later in life..
I am 24 and disappointed with a lot of people our age. The problem is a lack of respect at its core. If you didn't respect your parents as a little kid, then how are you going to truly respect anything later in life.
Bobby, you are absolutely right from my observations. It is not the beatings, it is the consistency and the unified front of the parents that commands the respect of the kids.
BTW, when I do have kids, it looks like I have found a pretty good resource of regular people who know their ass from their elbow when it comes to kids. The "let them run around like crazy while we put off our responsibility as parents" is rather popular in the area where I live and I was starting to doubt there would be anyone to talk to about stuff like this.
Watch how animals discipline their offspring (besides the occasional father eating them). They do the timeout by ignoring them but if the vermon continues they get a quick paw; flipped on their back & their throat in mom's mouth. Do they ever actually hurt em? Nope. Merely their pride. Silly humans know better though...