Studies have shown that women look for a LOT of different things in a man. Men mostly go for "is she hot?" For instance, women will rate a man's physical attractiveness very differently if they know his career, income level, etc. For guys, it generally doesn't matter much. Think about it: Women will tell you that men can be "hot" in 3-piece suits, carrharts, tee shirts, khakis, uniforms, etc. Women are hot in short skirts, bikinis, and less. See the difference there? One is about social status, value as a protector/provider/etc... and the other is about skin. That's just how it is.
That IS a fundamental difference between men and women.
IMHO, there's one reason to be faithful: kids. Otherwise, hey, maybe there's someone better. Maybe it'll take you 10 years to find her. Maybe the person you're with right now is a great person and will always be a great person. But if there's somebody better, there's nothing shameful about wanting to find that person. The notion that you will meet the one person who is right for you is just a crock. LOTS of people are REALLY cool. I mean, do people really think that if they hadn't met their current spouse that their life would have been completely empty and lonely? Bah! Of course not! You would have just found somebody else. There's thousands of people you'd probably be interested in, if the situation were right. So get the idea of someone being perfect for you completely out of your head.
The important thing is honesty and integrity and character. Be upfront about it and there isn't really much of a problem. Love is such bull****. We make people feel like they need to stay in relationships they don't want to be in, do more than they want to do, change who they are to appease another person. Then we wonder why half of marriages wind up in divorce. F that. Just be happy with yourself, treat your partners with respect, and stand up for yourself and others as human beings, whatever your or their interests or desires may be. A man, or a woman, is not something to be captured and tamed and tricked into a relationship.
In my life, I've dated about 10 girls who I knew I could be totally happy having a committed relationship with. They were all great girls. And I can count my bad relationships on one hand... I'm generally pretty good at pushing away the wrong ones for me. But ultimately, I'm better for having all the time in the world to find the people that mean the most to me. All the pressures of "settling down" or whatever is for chumps and people who want the suburban dream.
One of my current GF's has a kid. And that kid is awesome. We've talked about it. I've got no interest in playing baby's daddy. But I've got no issue whatsoever being a male role model and enjoying watching him grow up to be a man. This summer, I helped teach him to swim and, I just have to say, that was AWESOME! Other women I'm with just have to accept the fact that I think the kid is pretty cool and I enjoy seeing him grow up. If they can't handle that, then they just don't have any respect for being a decent human being. If their need to have me is greater than their appreciation for what it means to have relationships with people, then they just aren't right for me.
I grew up with lots of positive male role models. My dad is one of the best people on the planet, as far as I'm concerned (and is still married to my mother), but I remember lots of other grown up guys that were really cool and taught me a lot as well. You don't need to be called "Dad" to be a great guy and to have a huge positive impact on a child's life. And you don't need a woman to make your life complete.
As for freebies... they're all freebies to me. Just don't make stupid choices.
Just my two cents.