The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Yakima 728
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I don't know if this is funnier BEFORE Covid and everyone worked from home, or after.

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I've been calling/texting/smoke signaling old time Masstoberfest attendees. Damn I miss you guys and am truly pissed at the f'ing Wuhan Flu for f'ing up the world as it was.

Hope you can all come. I racked a perry, The Tallywacker, and my Porter Square porter into kegs yesterday. Did some sampling along the ways and I seem to still have my fastball.
Steve from the Witches Brew will bring a keg of Double D since I have sworn to never brew another batch of beer with more than four ounces of hops per five gallons. (Debate for another day, I just don't get spending $80 to brew five gallons of unbalanced undrinkable beer and then waking up with your mouths tasting like Chernobyl, I don't get it.)
 
paulthenurse said:
I've been calling/texting/smoke signaling old time Masstoberfest attendees. Damn I miss you guys and am truly pissed at the f'ing Wuhan Flu for f'ing up the world as it was.

Hope you can all come. I racked a perry, The Tallywacker, and my Porter Square porter into kegs yesterday. Did some sampling along the ways and I seem to still have my fastball.
Steve from the Witches Brew will bring a keg of Double D since I have sworn to never brew another batch of beer with more than four ounces of hops per five gallons. (Debate for another day, I just don't get spending $80 to brew five gallons of unbalanced undrinkable beer and then waking up with your mouths tasting like Chernobyl, I don't get it.)
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I am marking the calendar...no time to brew but I'll bring some stuff I've picked up in my travels. I just discovered a case of my leap year mead...going on 12 years old now I believe.
 
paulthenurse said:
Waddaya mean you can't come?
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Memorial service to attend in Greensboro for my only uncle.
Plus, and more importantly, there's the whole meeting a tight knit, highly accomplished timber framing intelligencia, cheese licking group that is not just a little daunting.
 
Hey, I just knocked off for the day and found an Amazon package of socks address to Paul Tallywacker. No idea who its from, no info.

Whomever you are, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. That actually got me a little chocked up. (had nothing at all to do with today being the first day back working on the barn and I'm suffering from heat stroke)

Ya know, I'm kind of proud to have you jamokes for friends.

(would whomever sent that PM me so I can thank you personally)
 
While I was buying a whole red snapper for seafood chowdah at the Spanish centric market, the woman in front of me had frozen cuy. I looked for it but I guess she got the last package or one needs to ask for it. I’ll check back and let you know. ;)
 
Hoppy2bmerry said:
While I was buying a whole red snapper for seafood chowdah at the Spanish centric market, the woman in front of me had frozen cuy. I looked for it but I guess she got the last package or one needs to ask for it. I’ll check back and let you know. ;)
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Had to Google that.
Ew.
 
paulthenurse said:
Except for the part about rabbit tasting good and coy tasting like the north end of a southbound mule.
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They say the head is the best part. Seriously, it’s the national dish enjoyed by millions, unless it is “aged” to half-rotten or hung over horse crap like a particular German cheese, how could it taste so terrible? The seasoning?
 
homebeerbrewer said:
If I remember correctly, Paul, you had something that tasted like that many years ago. I think we were at Brian's, and you had bought it in the Netherlands. Some kind of rotting fish maybe?
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Correctemundo, Sir Dogbreath. Except it was fermented rotten shark, not fish. And it was from Iceland, not Denmark. So really, you're not even close.... but in the spirit of Masstoberfest I'll give it to you.

It's called Hakarl and it smells and tastes just like that sounds. Catch a Greenland shark. Bury it for six months. Dig it up, cut it up, hang it up and leave it to ripen in the barn for another six months. Smells like the mens rooms at Schaefer Stadium, with the consistency of frozen Vaseline and tasting like..... Like..... Like...... I dunno, but it kind of grows on you. I won't say I look forward to my next opportunity to try some but the next time I'm back in Iceland I know just the bar to go get some more.
 
Nice try, and misquoting me. Hmm, are you accusing me of being naughty? I’m thinking cheek meat and maybe brains and eyeballs (ewe) 🤮
 
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For once I'm speechless. Only in Maine.


So my daughter and SIL had a birthday party for the one year old over the weekend. In addition to games for the kidz they had stuff to keep the big kids busy including the One Chip Challenge. I'd never heard of it before but since I like me some spicy stuff I said I'd play.
Four of us did it and all I can say is WTF! My tongue felt like I had just licked the surface of the sun. It started out slow but increased exponentially by the minute. At the fifteen minute mark I was shoving people of of my way to get to the chips and dips and spooning gobs of onion dip into my burned out mouth and gargling with it. I didn't puke (1 guy did) and I didn't cry (a second guy did) but I sure as hell wanted to. I was the first to bail and try to put out the fire. Sweet mother of god, that out to require a written release!

I think I'm gonna order a few off Amazon to have on hand for
Masstoberfest. Who wants to play?
 
InkBird 300

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