The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

Tow or drag bar attached to the couch. Quick release mechanism for the passenger when the Sh!t hits the fan.

Yeah... That's stupid.

 

[Melana]

Even though I've only water skied that one time I remember just how difficult it was to pull yourself out of the water. I think Cape is right about the couch needing to be more out than in. Flotation is probably the best way to do that. I've never done a full power take off, but it's a 225 HP engine so It does have plenty of speed. Initial torque I'm not so sure of. This might be my excuse to buy a 4 blade prop.

Oh one more thing. I'm not going to be the one on the couch, at least not on the inaugural runs. I'm the brains of the operation, I'll need to be safe and sound with one hand on the wheel and the other on the throttle. No fears, we'll get someone to be the couch rider. I'll auction that spot off to the highest bidder.

I vote Rookie. He seems to fit your rider criteria.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I vote Rookie. He seems to fit your rider criteria.

If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

We are worrying a lot about the couch. Dont forget the LSU. Shouldnt we install a self destruct button in case we need to jettison the couch?

 

[bluemoose]

Yeah... That's stupid.

You're stupid!

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.

ya sure, safety first. if I go down im gonna take one of you arseholes with me

 

[Cape Brewing]

We are worrying a lot about the couch. Dont forget the LSU. Shouldnt we install a self destruct button in case we need to jettison the couch?

LOL!!!

How awesome would that be?? Effin couch sinks like a stone and starts dragging the boat down with it.

There would be no video on the planet I would pay more money for.

 

[bluemoose]

LOL!!!

How awesome would that be?? Effin couch sinks like a stone and starts dragging the boat down with it.

There would be no video on the planet I would pay more money for.

This assumes LSU makes it out of the backyard.

 

[Melana]

If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.

I'll get the trash bags... oh wait... that was a different conversation. Right.
Carry on then. Don't mind me..

 

[Melana]

This assumes LSU makes it out of the backyard.

Get it right... that's backyahd.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Get it right... that's backyahd.

Te backyahd... That's where the sheep ah !!

Get it??? Sheep???

 

[Melana]

No, that's where the boat is pahked. No sheep neah PTN.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

LOL!!!

How awesome would that be?? Effin couch sinks like a stone and starts dragging the boat down with it.

There would be no video on the planet I would pay more money for.

Dollars for donuts the couch is probably worth more.

 

[the_bird]

Why are you ******** about going *water skiing* with the coach? If you don't happen to be sitting in an office with a window, it's ****ing snowing outside.



Need a bigger hill than those ******* have, though. Paulie, let's drag it up Greylock, I'll let you have the first run down the Thunderbolt.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

naw, this has to happen in the summer so PTN gets hurt and LSU sinks. maybe PTN should wear a speedo

 

[Melana]

maybe PTN should wear a speedo

WTF man... why the EFF did you have to go there? :smack:

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

no tailgating at the superbowl? why would anyone want to goto football without a tailgate, especially a winter game in NJ.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...2/10/super-bowl-xlviii-no-tailgating-allowed/

 

[Melana]

no tailgating at the superbowl? why would anyone want to goto football without a tailgate, especially a winter game in NJ.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...2/10/super-bowl-xlviii-no-tailgating-allowed/

Why would anyone want to go anyway?

 

[paulthenurse]

If it weren't for the fact that within ten seconds of meeting him Al would be irritated at me for inviting Rookie along, I would go with Cape's idea of chaining Rookie to the couch and weighing it down with lead. But then it would probably take her about as long as it has taken all of us to agree that actually carrying through with that idea is a service to humanity and so I'd need to spend another 15 minutes in his company. I know. I know. I'm sorry but she just wouldn't go along with drowning him without having experienced what an annoying douchenozzle he is. And I just don't want to have to spend the 15 minutes it would take to convince her.

So while it was a really good idea, we're going to have to shelve it.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

you forget, I have met al, 3 times, and by the 2nd time she was probably wanting to add me to the pile of dead hookers under the shed

 

[homebeerbrewer]

…

I'm the brains of the operation...

LOL, fail is written all over this project.

 

[paulthenurse]

you forget, I have met al, 3 times, and by the 2nd time she was probably wanting to add me to the pile of dead hookers under the shed

Nice try but you're still not coming out on the boat.

 

[paulthenurse]

LOL, fail is written all over this project.

You're probably right. But on the off chance we succeed we'll go straight to the Drunken Idiots Hall of Fame. No five year waiting period either. We'll be getting measured for our yellow jackets on the dock.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

that ok, i will just hold onto the anchor very tight, you said I cant come aboard, but nothing about me holdingonto something hanging from the front

 

[homebeerbrewer]

that ok, i will just hold onto the anchor very tight, you said I cant come aboard, but nothing about me holdingonto something hanging from the front

That's an excellent idea. PTN, chain him to the anchor.

 

[paulthenurse]

that ok, i will just hold onto the anchor very tight, you said I cant come aboard, but nothing about me holdingonto something hanging from the front

I think that's a MAHVAHLOUS idea. You hang onto the anchor till we get well offshore. Then I'll just reach my hand down and throw a little switch and problem solved.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

I think that's a MAHVAHLOUS idea. You hang onto the anchor till we get well offshore. Then I'll just reach my hand down and throw a little switch and problem solved.

maybe I should call the FBI and let them know there is a terrorist hiding in a boat called Lobster Saw Us, they will find the boat and as we saw earlier this year, they shoot first and then ask questions.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

why do I always regress back to that level of ultimate douchbagery from time to time, that really was uncalled for. Im sorry

 

[the_bird]

That's because you're the King of the *********s! Lord and Ruler Of Massengillia!



Don't even bother trying to change.

 

[paulthenurse]

That's because you're the King of the *********s! Lord and Ruler Of Massengillia!

Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N91XsdrBqUY

Don't even bother trying to change.

You are Stradivarius with YouTube