The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

(nodding in agreement with JLem)

Thats just effin weird.

 

[DakotaRules]

I would say more of a way to kill off time. You know PTN has a lot of it...Its been named Mega Tun because of its direct resemblance to PTN and there round shape. If he does try to rename it were all just gonna call it whatever we want, like POS.

 

[paulthenurse]

I would say more of a way to kill off time. You know PTN has a lot of it...Its been named Mega Tun because of its direct resemblance to PTN and there round shape. If he does try to rename it were all just gonna call it whatever we want, like POS.

You sure talk a lot for a guy who has yet to bring a Homebrew out in public,. Just sayin'.

 

[DakotaRules]

You sure talk a lot for a guy who has yet to bring a Homebrew out in public,. Just sayin'.

I hope your kidding because every time Ive met you Ive brought some homebrew and in fact a U3 you drank some. Just sayin.....

 

[the_bird]

Maybe your beer is just kind of.... forgettable...

 

[Cape Brewing]

.. probably too much Crystal 60 in it.

 

[paulthenurse]

Gave me diabetes

 

[DakotaRules]

PTN you had diabetes well before my beer.

 

[paulthenurse]

Pap'a Spring ERA is north of 12. Oddly enough, so is his salary this year.

WTF?

 

[paulthenurse]

You mean you're not all excited about the Dice-K, Wake 5th starter platoon?

Don't worry about Becket, it's an odd number year.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

So if we could go back to "The Great Masshole Triple Throwdown" for a moment...
Is this a closed competition or shall we throw it open to the unwashed masses that are our friends. (Speaking figuratively since we all know that you don't really have any friends. Except for me. And Yeagers dog. You two seemed to really be hitting it off at the U3 day.)

I'm fine with either way; you vs. me ( Mano y Mano) or open it up to any other Masshole who thinks they can brew a decent triple. (And is willing to submit to the same public humiliation as you when I kick everyones azz!)

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

SCrew that... mano TO mano... unlike you're "mano y mano" since "y" in Spanish means "and". So, instead of saying "man to man", you're saying "man and man"... and I don't want to be pronounced that in any way shape or form.

So... nah, screw everyone else.

Plus I don't need to invite MORE people to the freakin' NIHFC. We're pushing capacity as it is.

 

[paulthenurse]

Yo no hablo Espanol.

So if my 7th grade Spanish wasnt up to the task I'm OK with that. An ass kicking is an ass kicking no matter the language.



I know what you're thinking. "What recipe is he gonna use?"

Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as you are in a throwdown with me, and you have said that I brewed the two best homebrewed beers you've ever had, and my triple can blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?

Well, do ya, punk?

PTN

 

[the_bird]

SCrew that... mano TO mano... unlike you're "mano y mano" since "y" in Spanish means "and". So, instead of saying "man to man", you're saying "man and man"... and I don't want to be pronounced that in any way shape or form.

So... nah, screw everyone else.

Plus I don't need to invite MORE people to the freakin' NIHFC. We're pushing capacity as it is.

That's fine. I was toying around with making one for ****sngiggles, but I don't have the right base malt, I don't have the right specialty malts, I don't have the right hops, I don't have the right yeast.... basically, I have nothing. I brewed yesterday and I'm brewing next weekend, but with all of the house projects on backlog I'll be surprised if I get another batch in before the summer, anyway.

Speaking of next weekend, anyone else headed up to Kai's on Sunday? He extended the invite out to you ******** for some dumb reason.

 

[paulthenurse]

I really wanted to go, Kai has come to masstobfest a couple times and is as nice a guy as you can meet, and a damn fine brewer to boot. But the lovely Alice has charms that Kai can never match and in the interest of keeping her happy I'm doing what she wants this weekend. Oddly enough, what she wants doesn't include me drinking beer and smoking cigars at Kaisers. Go figure.
Please give him my regrets ands have one for me.

PTN

 

[DakotaRules]

That's fine. I was toying around with making one for ****sngiggles, but I don't have the right base malt, I don't have the right specialty malts, I don't have the right hops, I don't have the right yeast.... basically, I have nothing. I brewed yesterday and I'm brewing next weekend, but with all of the house projects on backlog I'll be surprised if I get another batch in before the summer, anyway.

Speaking of next weekend, anyone else headed up to Kai's on Sunday? He extended the invite out to you ******** for some dumb reason.

Thats cool is there some festival he's putting on?

 

[the_bird]

He's just having his Marzenbrau. Basically hosts a brew session every year this time when he brews a Marzen and smokes some meat. It's usually lower-key than any of the get-togethers these clowns host, but it's fun and I always learn SOMETHING hanging around with Kai (mostly by osmosis). It's Sunday, 9:00 AM is the start time, I believe. Oh, and he's up in Pepperell, I don't know how far that is from Melrose.

 

[DakotaRules]

Its about an hour. Is he going to do a decoction mash? Ive seen his vids and that would be pretty cool.

 

[paulthenurse]

There are two schools of brewing. There is the drunken Irishman "Ya, that looks about right" school that I espouse and there is the Teutonic "No, we need to raise the temperature 0.095* Celsius for another three and a half minutes" that Kai teaches at. They both work and can produce great beer but you can bet your ass that there is only one of us who can reproduce every single delicious batch, every single time, exactly as it was done originally.


Maybe I'll teach Kai how to do that someday.

PTN

 

[the_bird]

Get him drunk, and he's a silly ****, though.

 

[DakotaRules]

For some reason I think just sticking your finger in something and then tasting it doesn't work for me. I like repeatable recipes and not changing them every brew session on a whim. Just my preference, but whatever works for you. To each there own.

 

[the_bird]

For some reason I think just sticking your finger in something and then tasting it doesn't work for me. I like repeatable recipes and not changing them every brew session on a whim. Just my preference, but whatever works for you. To each there own.

Well, for starters if you're going to just stick your finger in something and taste it, ask them to take a shower first.

 

[paulthenurse]

I bet Tom doesn't ask Gis to shower first, even if they've been out dancing. Just sayin'!

PTN

 

[the_bird]

Yeah, but her ass smells like rose petals and lavender, even if she doesn't wipe very well.

 

[paulthenurse]

Mmmmmm... Lavender!

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

This is why I never will be and why you're no longer a mod.


PTN

 

[the_bird]

.... this is why Kai doesn't hang out on HBT much anymore...

 

[Cape Brewing]

He's too good for us now... Mr. Ooooo-I'm-a-big-shot-NHC-presenter-now. I say we deport his a$$ back to France.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Can you email your votes in? Cape you're halfway there. All I need is five dollars sent in the mail and the promise that you won't send me a drunken email to pick up someone in Oaks Bluff for the event like PTN did.

 

[paulthenurse]

I have no f'ing clue what that post means? Anyone else? I'm hoping you're saying that for 5 bucks we can ship Cape off to Oak Bluffs. (Best part of that is that it's a dry town, he'll be DT'ing the time the ferry makes it back to Woods Hole.)

PTN