The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Stop it. I'm blushing.

 

[DakotaRules]

That's your blood pressure going sky high.

 

[dnthmn2004]

Home grown Masshole and proud of it. :rockin:

 

[paulthenurse]

Now Paul... the pig challenge has been put out there also. You're not THAT insane that you're actually going to accept that challenge are you?? NOT on the NIHFC day??? Jesus... that's like asking a right-handed 8 year old to pitch in the World Series... lefty.

Cape, Cape, Cape...

(sigh)


I will be the first to admit that your recently completed pigcowturduckenguica was a huge success, it came out better than you could have hoped. My hat is off to you. It was very, very good.

And now you are going to try to do it again, only this time on a much larger scale. I find that admirable. Hell, if there is anyone on this board who is a bigger proponent than I am of the idea of "That which is worth doing is worth overdoing", then I want to shake that man's hand. And now you want to up the ante by making it a throwdown? And talking smack in the bargain?

Look, your stuffed pig was good. It was really good. Sort of in the same way that an aging actress can put on a nice dress, a squadron of makeup artists can paint her up, and with stratgically placed camera angles the director can make her look good enough that you sort of forget that she's practically eligible for Social Security. Because lets face it, that's what you are doing. You're putting listick on a pig.

I, on the other hand, deliver the goods. Fresh, young, naked to the world. No bells. No whistles. No parlor tricks. No "Wardrobe Malfunctions." Not stuffed with a bunch of extra crap designed to make you forget that you are eating BBQ.

Straight up, slow smoked BBQ, like God himself intended. Barbeque, not bull****!

Game on, ******!

 

[jeffmeh]

I believe Julio's in Westborough sometimes has the Riessdorf, which would qualify. Ballast Point makes one, and I guess Harpoon Summer is some representation.

I have made EdWort's recipe a few times, and it is great.

I stand corrected. I used a different recipe, though I am sure Ed's is quite good. Not that it is relevant since you are going for a Trippel, but one would hate to misinform.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Straight up, slow smoked BBQ, like God himself intended. Barbeque, not bull****!

Game on, ******!

Pfft... you're funny. You amuse me... like a clown.

 

[motobrewer]

Cape, Cape, Cape...

(sigh)


I will be the first to admit that your recently completed pigcowturduckenguica was a huge success, it came out better than you could have hoped. My hat is off to you. It was very, very good.

And now you are going to try to do it again, only this time on a much larger scale. I find that admirable. Hell, if there is anyone on this board who is a bigger proponent than I am of the idea of "That which is worth doing is worth overdoing", then I want to shake that man's hand. And now you want to up the ante by making it a throwdown? And talking smack in the bargain?

Look, your stuffed pig was good. It was really good. Sort of in the same way that an aging actress can put on a nice dress, a squadron of makeup artists can paint her up, and with stratgically placed camera angles the director can make her look good enough that you sort of forget that she's practically eligible for Social Security. Because lets face it, that's what you are doing. You're putting listick on a pig.

I, on the other hand, deliver the goods. Fresh, young, naked to the world. No bells. No whistles. No parlor tricks. No "Wardrobe Malfunctions." Not stuffed with a bunch of extra crap designed to make you forget that you are eating BBQ.

Straight up, slow smoked BBQ, like God himself intended. Barbeque, not bull****!

Game on, ******!

damn. cape just got served.

the best part was his pathetic comeback. "you're funny"!

 

[Cape Brewing]

And if you had a remote clue of what you were talking about you might have a point.

My response was perfectly appropriate given how ridiculous Paul's post was.

It is like you talking a ton of crap to Vinnie at Russing River on the proper way to make a sour. It's ridiculous.

 

[Cape Brewing]

And Paul... Who said I had to rely on the "scaled up" stuffed pig? Any one of the hogs I pull outta the groun would absolutely crush the effin shoe leather jerky you pull out of your rusted out oil tank.

You wanna talk smack about getting the megatun to work, ok, fine, I gotta sit back and take it but you're off the effin map now son. You goin down this path on the hogs is just plain insanity. Your hubris is finally causing outright stupidity.

 

[the_bird]

Anyone wanna help a brother learn how to weld? I've got a big-ass oil tank coming out of my basement in the next month or so, seems a ******* shame to throw it away!

 

[paulthenurse]

I know you can't see me but I have my 'SCARED' face on right now.

Ohhhhh, I'm so afraid. Smurf, hold me.

 

[paulthenurse]

Anyone wanna help a brother learn how to weld? I've got a big-ass oil tank coming out of my basement in the next month or so, seems a ******* shame to throw it away!

You've met my buddy Drunken a couple of times. He lives in Worcester and has a wet dream of a metal shop in his garage. Big assed welder, tube bender that can twist a length of 2 inch steel tubing like a piece of spaghetti, and best of all, a plasma cutter. PM me.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh... That's "scared"?? I can't tell how it is different from "*******".

 

[the_bird]

You've met my buddy Drunken a couple of times. He lives in Worcester and has a wet dream of a metal shop in his garage. Big assed welder, tube bender that can twist a length of 2 inch steel tubing like a piece of spaghetti, and best of all, a plasma cutter. PM me.

PTN

It may come down to whether we can get it out of the basement without having to draw and quarter it. The guy who's doing the work, though, is BFFs with one of my buddies here at work, so I can probably get him to hook me up in the future, too. I just hate scraping the damn thing, 'cause.... (I'll whisper so Cape doesn't hear me).... Bertha is pretty ****ing awesome.

 

[Cape Brewing]

It is awesome... If you don't have a better way do it.

... It just so happens that I do though.

 

[the_bird]

I don't have enough backyard to build a pit (not and still leave some room for the kids to play), AND we're planning on moving at some point in the next 3-4 years, so it's got to have at least SOME degree of portability.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh... Absolutely. Bertha's a nice way to go. I wouldnt mind something like that more for just smoking stuff... But... Paulie's off the deep end talkin' a whole lotta smack in this area.

 

[paulthenurse]

The difference between 'scared' and '*******' is easy. Look at your avatar. That's 'not scared.' Now look in the mirror. That's '*******'.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I know you are but what am I!? (sticking my tongue out)

 

[jeffmeh]

Perhaps you ladies should create "The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious PTN and Cape Petty Flagellation Thread." Carry on.

 

[paulthenurse]

Jay,
Go to anyone who delivers home heating oil, I bet you a six pack they have a couple of old tanks out back that they will give you, just to get rid of them.

Then you hook up with Drunken and for little bit of cash for the materials, a couple of six packs of beer and a little bit of sweat, you've got yourself a portable smoker that can readily smoke anything from a couple racks of baby back ribs up to a hog of about 175 pounds trimmed weight.

Don't listen to Cape. He's overcompensating after getting schooled on the Mega Tun. Well, that and he's also got a really small penis.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

And furthermore, he's from Rhode Island. He's not even a real Masshole, he just lives here now.

PTN

 

[the_bird]

Oh, I know. I just, you know, ALREADY HAVE ONE that's coming out because I'm putting in a natty gas burner in the next week or two. I *think* my old man may have an old trailer I could commandeer, too. If the one in the basement can't come up more-or-less intact, I'm sure Kyle (the owner/installer of the gas company) can hook me up, as you might imagine there are a TON of oil-to-gas conversions happening around here.

 

[the_bird]

I should say, too, that I wanna learn to weld myself, dammit!

 

[paulthenurse]

Sawmill. Cut that bad Larry right in half. We can weld it back together. In fact, having it open like that makes putting in the water tray a boatload easier. Console yourself with that thought as you cut that ****** in half. Then get it outside and have a bonfire in each half to burn out the residual oil and you will be good to go

 

[paulthenurse]

Drunky can teach you, unless you are a retard like I am. You HAVE to he better at it than I was. Eventually he just ripped the thing out of my hands and had me fetch him cold beers I am much better at that then I was at welding. I already had the drinking part down pat

 

[cuinrearview]

No longer do I claim this guy.



Let the meaningless defense of this begin. There is nothing you can say. Oh, you'll try, all of you out there will. The guy started a socal tool, we hardened him up, and then he went out east and you ruined him. The spidey suit, the kangol at the U brewday, the ****, the dog cross-dresser, and this guy should think about starting your own weird country of your own. Cali has nothing on you freaks.

 

[cuinrearview]

I should say, too, that I wanna learn to weld myself, dammit!

CL "lincoln buzzbox". They sell for like $75 used around here and everyone has one to sell from an estate and what not. Cheap, easy to use, and great to learn on.

Edit: Just looked out there to post a link and there's not ONE on the "Bahstan" CL. Jesus, do people do ANYTHING for themselves out there that requires moving more than 45 feet from some kind of chair or out from under a roof?

 

[the_bird]

CL "lincoln buzzbox". They sell for like $75 used around here and everyone has one to sell from an estate and what not. Cheap, easy to use, and great to learn on.

Edit: Just looked out there to post a link and there's not ONE on the "Bahstan" CL. Jesus, do people do ANYTHING for themselves out there that requires moving more than 45 feet from some kind of chair or under a roof?

I ain't driving to Boston to buy a ****ing used welder. I bet my old man could hook me up, anyway. I'm not sure if he's got a welder himself, but he's one of those old Vermonters who knows 90% of the people in the state, so I'm sure he could hook me up.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Let the meaningless defense of this begin. .

I think my exact words on the football trash talk thread were something to the effect of, "he can wear a pink frilly dress, prance around and call himself Lucy for all I care as long as he keeps putting up the stats he does"

I don't need to hang out with the guy... I just want him to throw TDs.