The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

So...this week isn't the week to stop by and try your brews?

Everything else is pouring beautifully. We just don't have any IPA. Should have more ready to pour by next Weds

 

[paulthenurse]

Ok. I conceded the race. Congratulations to Mr Flatulent Fowl for unseating me from my position as Resident Drunkard. (Pause for applause...) For years I've done my best to represent the people, (applause...) coming home, downing a few adult beverages (applause...) and proceeding to share my psychosis with all of you. (Long pause for applause...). And while I've done my best...(applause...) the people have spoken and decided that its time for a change. So please join me... (Applause...) Join me in wishing the Flatulent Fowl continues success in the position of Resident Drunkard. From the early work he has shown, I'm sure he'll be at it for a long time. (Applause...). I'll still be around...(Long pause for applause...). I'll still be around here, watching over all of you and contributing as I can (applause...) but I'll also be able to spend more time with Mrs TheNurse (Long pause for applause...) and drinking in the private sector.

(Band starts playing Auld Lang Syne..)

Goodnight and I hope to run into each and every one of you , except Rookie, in a local bar where you can buy me a drink. (Applause...)

 

[Melana]

Paul you have once again raised the bar... had to to fit under it!

Seen any pickled toes lately?

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Goodnight and I hope to run into each and every one of you , except Rookie, in a local bar where you can buy me a drink. (Applause...)

your right, i would never buy you a beer

 

[paulthenurse]

In here, the DPMHBS thread, is an appropriate place to discuss the collecting of toes from dead hookers stored under my shed.

In a public post that my mother might read isn't.

That said, I just get a huge kick out if that idea.

For those of you wondering WTF we're talking about, I heard on the radio yesterday about a bar in Alaska that serves a drink with a toe in the glass. And despite promising to not do so, the occasional toe goes down the occasional drunken throat, leaving the bar toe-less. So yesterday on FB, I posted my desire that upon my demise my toes get lopped off and sent to that bar. Seemed appropriate somehow...

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Ok. I conceded the race. Congratulations to Mr Flatulent Fowl for unseating me from my position as Resident Drunkard. (Pause for applause...) For years I've done my best to represent the people, (applause...) coming home, downing a few adult beverages (applause...) and proceeding to share my psychosis with all of you. (Long pause for applause...). And while I've done my best...(applause...) the people have spoken and decided that its time for a change. So please join me... (Applause...) Join me in wishing the Flatulent Fowl continues success in the position of Resident Drunkard. From the early work he has shown, I'm sure he'll be at it for a long time. (Applause...). I'll still be around...(Long pause for applause...). I'll still be around here, watching over all of you and contributing as I can (applause...) but I'll also be able to spend more time with Mrs TheNurse (Long pause for applause...) and drinking in the private sector.

(Band starts playing Auld Lang Syne..)

Goodnight and I hope to run into each and every one of you , except Rookie, in a local bar where you can buy me a drink. (Applause...)

We should all applause to drown out the noise of this so called speech.

 

[Melana]

In here, the DPMHBS thread, is an appropriate place to discuss the collecting of toes from dead hookers stored under my shed.

In a public post that my mother might read isn't.

That said, I just get a huge kick out if that idea.

For those of you wondering WTF we're talking about, I heard on the radio yesterday about a bar in Alaska that serves a drink with a toe in the glass. And despite promising to not do so, the occasional toe goes down the occasional drunken throat, leaving the bar toe-less. So yesterday on FB, I posted my desire that upon my demise my toes get lopped off and sent to that bar. Seemed appropriate somehow...

No one mentioned hookers... your mind must be stuck in the gutter.

 

[paulthenurse]

That shouldn't come as a shock to you, but I'd swear Jay did.

 

[the_bird]

Let's just say that I finally understand how Paulie can afford to keep his boat fueled up.

 

[Melana]

Let's just say that I finally understand how Paulie can afford to keep his boat fueled up.

selling fermented toes?

 

[the_bird]

Rendering the fat out of his dead hookers for use as diesel fuel.

With benefit of a day's retrospection, yeah... that was a little over-the-top.

 

[Melana]

Rendering the fat out of his dead hookers for use as diesel fuel.

With benefit of a day's retrospection, yeah... that was a little over-the-top.

Perhaps over-the-top... and funny.

 

[HawksBrewer]

We should all applause to drown out the noise of this so called speech.

*applaud

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm a big fan of the whole 'over the top' thang. But my dear sainted mother would fall over dead if she were to read a discussion between me and my friends about accessing the toes stored under my shed, dead hooper or otherwise.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

That bag of wind was a cover up and cry for help. I'm interpreting that speech as a signal of another failed attempt at U18.

 

[Cape Brewing]

... U18... "I'm tellin' ya... double the hops, again, and mashing in the trunk of a '78 Pontiac... it's GOTTA work!!!"

 

[bob1852]

'78 pontiac would make a nice pig fryer.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Don't forget to drill holes in the bottom of it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I hope you both die

 

[paulthenurse]

I hope you both die

Nice.

 

[Melana]

I hope you both die

If they do make sure they send their toes for fermentation.

 

[paulthenurse]

Its getting pretty crowded under the shed. While twenty less toes won't make a ton of difference, every little bit helps.

Hey, details for Masstoberfest 2013 in my sig.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

High five AZ!

 

[paulthenurse]

Met Cape for lunch the other day. Choked down a couple pints of the Bog Water and listened to him whine about how "We don't even have enough time/capacity to brew an extra couple of kegs for us to bring home for ourselves."

"Is that your way of saying that you're not going to pony up a keg for Masstoberfest?"

"Pretty much. Ya."

What a D-Bag.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

I hope you both die

I would totally expect something to come out of the mouths of PTN even the flatulent fowl, but not you...

 

[Melana]

Met Cape for lunch the other day. Choked down a couple pints of the Bog Water and listened to him whine about how "We don't even have enough time/capacity to brew an extra couple of kegs for us to bring home for ourselves."

"Is that your way of saying that you're not going to pony up a keg for Masstoberfest?"

"Pretty much. Ya."

What a D-Bag.

He took time out of His schedule to spend time with you and you treat Him this way? Isn't seeing Cape akin to getting in to see the Pope?

 

[Melana]

I would totally expect something to come out of the mouths of PTN even the flatulent fowl, but not you...

No one told me the fowl was foul.

 

[bob1852]

Isn't seeing Cape akin to getting in to see the Pope?

Well, they're both old, short, and balding.

 

[paulthenurse]

You forgot the bad breath.

 

[Cape Brewing]

He took time out of His schedule to spend time with you and you treat Him this way? Isn't seeing Cape akin to getting in to see the Pope?

Exactly.... I mean... I AM a professional brewer now. You would think Paul would have a little more appreciation.