he ever gets outside we have coyotes around here and the poor defenseless things can't even climb trees.
Dear band-aid needed,
Those coyotes can hold their own.
Sincerely,
Barn cat liker
he ever gets outside we have coyotes around here and the poor defenseless things can't even climb trees.
Dear TexansObviously, you are inept and have no clue how to do your job, please transfer back to Texas where it is acceptable to just shut everything down over a little snow and ice
Sincerely,
It is called salt and a plow blade...
barn cats are always 15 pound killing machines in my mind. I know that's not true but there it is.barn cats
barn cats are always 15 pound killing machines in my mind. I know that's not true but there it is.
Dear College friend I've lost touch with who just announced will be moving to a remote Alaskan community for a new teaching job,
I really hope you know what you're doing.
Sincerely,
Concerned for your sanity, as there isn't much to do in a town that size and it gets down below 3.5 hours of daylight in late December.
Male or female? Single? I recall something I saw a few years ago about the ratio up there... Lots more men than women... Oh course, they're Alaskan men... For women, "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" lol...
Dear @seatazzz,Dear Brain and Nicotine receptors all over my body,
Yes we have finally made the decision to quit this stupid habit. Ninkasi please grant me the strength of will I will need over the next week to silence the voices in my head telling me just one more bag of tobacco to finish the tubes I have will be a smart thing to do; a quick splash of water will make them unusable. I've got a nice vape to satisfy the mouth fixation, and hopefully enough fortitude to get through at least one week of it before you all finally die and let me get back to breathing. And a basic understanding of the psychology of addiction to help shut them up as well.
Sincerely,
35+ year smoker who would like to have her lungs back
Dear @3 Dawg Night,Dear @seatazzz,
I'll make you a deal. If you get on here in 30 days and tell me that you haven't had a cigarette (or cigar, or pipe, or whatever your preferred smoke ingestion method), I will mail you a six pack of local (to me) beers. I'll take you at your word, and this is an incentive, not a dare/bet.
Sincerely,
Someone who wants to keep good brewers vertical and brewing as long as possible
Dear everyone else,Dear @3 Dawg Night,
I will take you up on that bet. Having an incentive always helps! 4/20 it is!!!
Sincerely,
a very grateful Seatazzz
I'd join in but shipping from Germany is way too expensive, maybe even impossible. Great idea though!Dear everyone else,
Care to join me and up the ante?
Sincerely,
Someone who thinks that the best time to quit smoking was 35 years ago, but the next best time is today
I think it’s more accurate to say he’s supporting her own decision to stop. Good for you for not experimenting with or using tobacco.Dear 3 Dawg Night,
I know I'm not involved in your incentive to get seatazz to quit smoking, but I still appreciate it. That's a cool thing to do.
Sincerely,
Someone who has never handled individual cigarettes, cigars, or anything in that family.
fwiw, I "tried to quit" a few times over the five decades I smoked, but each of those attempts was self-sabotaged from the jump as I didn't really want to stop.
When I finally stopped smoking it was because I finally, actually, decided to stop smoking. The rest was cake.
Cold turkey was a non-event...
Cheers!
I see, we are haunted by the same ghost in different forms.Dear late bottle of hard lemonade,
I'm sorry that I was so impatient for you to cool down that I placed you in the freezer and then forgot about you for a day. Your milk box casket will serve you well in the afterlife.
Sincerely,
Someone now setting the kitchen timer to 45 minutes
Corollary to @D.B.Moody
Dear IRS,
Thank you for saying you never received tax return last year.
Thank you for saying the account is credited by $X
Did it not occur to you that $X is what was owed, and on the check which you cashed to credit the account, said check that ***WAS INCLUDED INSIDE THE SAME DAMNED ENVELOPE THAT CONTAINED THE TAX RETURN****!!!!!
Sincerely,
Mr. Cleaning Up Mess From Head Exploding
Maybe don't take it so personally?
Dear Newsman,Dear New Employer:
Can you please finish my "background check" and give me your start date?
Sincerely,
Unemployed guy impatiently waiting to start my new job!
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