The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

Yakima 728
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Dear MoreBeer,

I'm not going to bother with the angry call about you ignoring me taking the time to make a request about the shipping date. Your package arrived today. I bought an extra insulated ice pack because I thought you'd realize you should chill the dry yeast in there as well as the liquid yeast. I was disappointed to find the dry yeast floating loose in the box.

Sincerely,
A former MoreBeer customer
 
Dear "M"ajor home "B"rewing supplier;

Not having UPS as an shipping option will limit our future relationship. Living in FedEx hillbilly hell, waiting for them to decide if they want to deliver in the area today "or not" is not setting well. Knowing a package arrived at distribution center less than 80 mi. away (and at this point in time) over 36 hours ago on a trip that is already 400 miles longer than it should be is also a negative point. The words " No attempt made, delivery scheduled for next business day" are not words that I want to hear at this time.:mad:

Your truly,
Grumpy old man still waiting for a box.

P.S. Living 5 +/- miles from a facility that sends out 10 or so brown trucks daily would be such a better option for me if I could chose it.
 
Snuffy said:
Who says social distancing doesn't have physical consequences?:ghostly:

Seriously, tho... Voltaren Gel. It's a topical NSAID gel that you will have to get your doc to prescribe - which they will usually do with a call or an email via the portal. Apply morning and night til it stops - which will be 3 days. Otherwise, immobilize for a month and see if it helps.

I hate tendonitis.

Look up coupons for it on the web before you go pick it up.
Click to expand...
Horseflesh said:
I was curious, looked it up. The active ingredient is diclofenac, nice. And the gel is apparently OTC now too.
Click to expand...

Yep, OTC now. I tried ordering it from Amazon and they initially said "Prime" but then said "sometime in July", so I cancelled it. But now they sell it at Costco. So I got some yesterday and I'll give it a shot.
 
Dear 25+ years my junior "supervisor",

If you interrupt me when I'm speaking one more time I'm going to call you a very not-suitable-for-work epithet, in front of our manager. Don't care if I get fired. I HATE being interrupted. It's rude, it's disrespectful, and just plain wrong. And if you can also stop gushing to your co-worker about the fake eyelashes you're going to put on in the bathroom during a non-break period, that would help as well. Oh, and the 45-60 minute lunches when I can plainly see you clocking in and out for 30 minutes, when I'm salary and you are hourly, can stop any time now.

Sincerely, your "employee" who knows a zillion times more about my job than you do, wears no makeup, and is VERY tired of all the girl-gossip I have to listen to 8 hours a day. End of rant, time for lots of homebrew.
 
Dear A/C unit,

You did a good job over the summer last year, you performed about half the time we needed you and only half cooled the house. I know I said some strong NSFW words to you, and, well I'm not really regretting them. I do, however, not appreciate it that you gave up the magic smoke right when the temperatures are hitting the 90's. I hope you do not have a restful sleep on your way to the recycling plant as your replacement has cost me more than 10 grand. I know you will be disappointed that we will not be sweating to death but it's not your job to torment us anymore.

Sincerely, the Homeowner.
 
I could have written ^that^. Lost half the A/C in the house - west half is currently 88.7°F, east is hanging in there around 75-ish as it's not like there are partitions between. And it looks like another week of these high temps. Replacement unit coming Tuesday (fingers crossed).

Thought we'd get some escape taking the boat out. Fired it up ok, then noticed the helm steering was 100% non-functional, due to a seized cable. That won't show up until next Thursday (again, fingers crossed).

Fortunately, we have plenty of beer, and beer solves everything...

Cheers! ;)
 
Dear two empty kegs I left dirty for over a year,

Please let the oxyclean soak that's in you now do its job and get rid of the horrible ammonia-mixed-with-really bad beer-smell. I promise I will replace ALL of your o-rings tomorrow.

Sincerely, just found the o-ring kit I ordered earlier this year and finally getting around to doing some much-needed keg maintenance.
 
Speaking of Dear Sincerely...and hoping this doesn't offend, but if I was created in His image, then he's also moderately acrophobic, so what's with sending a hoard of long horn beetles to smack into me while I was 20' up on a ladder painting the gable peaks on my house FFS?

Cheers! ;)
 
day_trippr said:
Speaking of Dear Sincerely...and hoping this doesn't offend, but if I was created in His image, then he's also moderately acrophobic, so what's with sending a hoard of long horn beetles to smack into me while I was 20' up on a ladder painting the gable peaks on my house FFS?

Cheers! ;)
Click to expand...

He has a sense of humor. I realized that when my wife had female related surgery a year after I had a vasectomy. He has humor and laughs.
 
Dear Amazon,
If I had known that you were going to ship the rest of the parts I need for my plate chiller so soon, I would have tried to use it today.

Sincerely,
Dude chilling 3 gallons of wort in a kettle sitting in cold water in the sink
 
Dear Furniture Movers,

2020 has not been a good year (not Covid) for me. First the A/C crapped out, now the refrigerator has pooped the bed. I know it's hot out and you moved my new fridge into the house, but.... Having a dent in the side of the unit (good thing it's small and up against the wall) and a chunk taken out of the banister post is totally unacceptable. If you don't like moving furniture and appliances, don't take it out on them, what did they do to you? They just want to do what they were born to do, make ice and keep milk cold in my case.

I do have respect for movers, it's a hard job. Like when we had new couches delivered last year, one of the handlers picked up the whole 72 inch couch, heaved it up on his shoulder and carried it by himself (yup, I missed the photo op). So don't get me wrong!

Back to the fridge delivery people.. After banging into everything between my front door and kitchen you should not linger after I signed the form.

No Tip For You!

Sincerely,
The Home Owner who is sick of 2020 (oh and the Covid thing too)
 
Dear local gravel pit...how was I supposed to know you were going to be closed today for company picnic? (there goes my work plan for tomorrow.)

Besides, who has a company party on a Monday? Gonna be a long short week for some, I bet.
 
Dear Mother Nature
What contorted sense of twisted logic did you employ, when you utilized Isaias to destroy my hops and not my potato plants, and take down power for a couple hours but internet for 3+ days?
Sincerely
HBT-withdrawn
 
Dear Loki yeast on its third go-round,

You obviously did a fantastic job on my precious Mosaic Smash that's ready for dry hop, now please don't crap out like you did on my cider last month. I need you again for another go at my Sabrotooth IPA in a couple weeks (Citra/Sabro mix, it's delicious when done right).

And another;

Dear wonderful husband of 15 years today,

Please get home quick and take me to the as-yet unknown dinner-eating place you have chosen, because I am blatantly starving after a long day eating nothing in preparation for a steak-fest (I hope) tonight.

Sincerely, haven't done a SMASH in yonks and craving some Mosaic hop goodness, and REALLY hungry for some cooked cow and beer poured by somebody else.
 
Dear Lawncare customers,

Please don't call me on the weekend to complain that your yard has been brown for a 6 weeks acting like I haven't left you notices on your door weekly pointing out your need to water the lawn. We are almost 10F above average every day this season and 8" below average rain fall. Yes, I know your neighbors lawns are green. I fertilize and mow for them as well and we have scheduled my routes with their watering schedules.

Yours truly,
Disgruntled Lawncare provider


P.S. Wild violets, go f**k yourselves!
 
seatazzz said:
Dear Loki yeast on its third go-round,

You obviously did a fantastic job on my precious Mosaic Smash that's ready for dry hop, now please don't crap out like you did on my cider last month. I need you again for another go at my Sabrotooth IPA in a couple weeks (Citra/Sabro mix, it's delicious when done right).

And another;

Dear wonderful husband of 15 years today,

Please get home quick and take me to the as-yet unknown dinner-eating place you have chosen, because I am blatantly starving after a long day eating nothing in preparation for a steak-fest (I hope) tonight.

Sincerely, haven't done a SMASH in yonks and craving some Mosaic hop goodness, and REALLY hungry for some cooked cow and beer poured by somebody else.
Click to expand...
Happy Anniversary, may your dinner, beer and hubby be just the way you want them!
:bigmug:
 
dawn_kiebawls said:
Dear Lawncare customers,

Please don't call me on the weekend to complain that your yard has been brown for a 6 weeks acting like I haven't left you notices on your door weekly pointing out your need to water the lawn. We are almost 10F above average every day this season and 8" below average rain fall. Yes, I know your neighbors lawns are green. I fertilize and mow for them as well and we have scheduled my routes with their watering schedules.

Yours truly,
Disgruntled Lawncare provider


P.S. Wild violets, go f**k yourselves!
Click to expand...

Dear wild violets, keep coming.

Screw the lawn natzees, they watched too many scots and chemlawn commercials during sports games, while drinking nasty excuses for beer mostly. Poison your self and neighborhood w 24D, Trimec, etc,(if you have used it, and have a sense of smell, you know it is not good for you) so someone can have KB grass/fescue lawn w no blemishes?

Anyway, if your lawn care customers want green lawns, they got to buy an irrigation system or accept the facts of temperate perennial lawn grasses going into dormancy. Never does pay to trust most homeowners to keep up w their chores, if you give them a watering schedule, and they follow it about 1/4 of the time, they are likely to blame you for their failed lawn.

It is even more stressful to some lawn grasses to partially break drought dormancy with irregular irrigation than to leave dormant until drought breaks.

Before you put me in some catagory, I've run a landscape buiseness I started since 1986 and have done it all. Truck fleet all diesel, mostly military surplus, do all my own mechanics,,,but heading toward battery on smaller tools.
 
Dear HBT,

i was going to post this in "what are you listening to now?" but this thread came up first...

Sincerley,

youtube for reminding me of beetle juice and putting this in my que...

 
Dear whoever is responsible for the railroad crossing within earshot of my house lowering its arms, lighting up, and making the alert sound just as I'm finally ready to go to sleep, lasting for well over an hour, despite no freaking train,

You can go DIAF. You are the absolute freaking worst. I finally thought I was ready to go to sleep, but for some odd reason the noise is quieter in my living room than my bedroom, so when I went to bed I just laid there listening to your mistake, unfruitfully willing myself to go to sleep, until finally I abandoned my endeavor.

Know that my contempt for you will be taken to my grave and beyond, where it shall remain undiminished. What manner of just universe would deprive me of a restful nights sleep with a constant reminder of your incompetence, while allowing you the privilege of blissful unconsciousness?

Sincerely,
I was sleepy like 45 minutes ago. Tomorrow is going to absolutely suck.
 
Dear Kent 88,

Just got up at 2am because i went to bed at 8pm....but all i could think about your post




Sincerely,

sympathetic...
 
Dear monster who uses chocolate ice cream,

You're wrong.

When ice cream is involved, it should be vanilla. Possibly caramel. Or maybe mint.

Sincerely,
Center piece enthusiast
 
Dear mod...

Vanilla is what Oreo's are for, not brownies!

Sincerely,

someone that knows, there's no point in arguing, he's right and everyone else is wrong....studies have proven it.....
 
Dear bracc,

You're wrong.

You might be interested in this cover Willie Nelson sang, I think it's about you:


Sincerely,
Center piece enthusiast
 
Dear Yooper

i'm brewing a batch now that i boiled the mash to step it up to 162f.....if i don't get tannins from it, i got a 14 gallon pre-boil gravity of 1.043 at 130f, so like i'm expecting 98% effec....i'm going to start boiling my mash all the time!

Sincerely,

Kent88, i can be humble! (but i do get better looking in the mirror ;))
 

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Kent88 said:
Dear monster who uses chocolate ice cream,

You're wrong.

When ice cream is involved, it should be vanilla. Possibly caramel. Or maybe mint.

Sincerely,
Center piece enthusiast
Click to expand...
Dear center piece enthusiast,

You might be full of poopy about where the best part of the brownies are located, but you are correct that vanilla is best with brownies, no matter where the piece originated.

Sincerely,
Chewy edge piece lover
 

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