The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[kirbcheck]

Dear That is all,

Your user name is soccerdad. SOCCERdad. I'd rather sit through an hour monologue of a man reading random pages from the phonebook than watch a soccer game.

Just saying.

Sincerely,


Not a soccer dad.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear sinuses,
Stop. It's not marathon time.

Sincerely,
Mold. I grow mold up in dis office.

 

[Pappers_]

Dear Not a Soccer Dad:

I'm sorry your life experiences have been so impoverished.

Signed,

Soccer Convert at the Age of 35

 

[SanduskyRiver]

Dear designer of basketball scoreboards,

I'm sure a lot of thought went into your choice of materials but what made you think the 200 decibal klaxon buzzer was the desired sound for substitutions and the end of periods? I don't get it, brutal as boxing is all it takes it a delicate ring of a bell to stop the whole works. What we get instead is a deafening blast that should be limited to diving submarines and impending air strikes. You could have picked anything - wind chimes, door bells, a gong for that matter, but nooooo we had to go with a defcon 5 buzzer.

 

[Temptd2]

Dear designer of basketball scoreboards,

I'm sure a lot of thought went into your choice of materials but what made you think the 200 decibal klaxon buzzer was the desired sound for substitutions and the end of periods? I don't get it, brutal as boxing is all it takes it a delicate ring of a bell to stop the whole works. What we get instead is a deafening blast that should be limited to diving submarines and impending air strikes. You could have picked anything - wind chimes, door bells, a gong for that matter, but nooooo we had to go with a defcon 5 buzzer.

Sincerely,
Broken Eardrums and Frazzled Nerves

There, FTFY.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Dear family,
Grumbling and being condescending because a family member is going to be homeless if you don't help because their back was pretty much broken, and then making them pay your rent while you constantly talk down to them. And then reminding your family members about how supportive you are while at the same time talking **** behind their back to their ex fiance... Sorry to tell you but that's not really being supportive. That's just boosting your own ego at the expense of another.
Sincerely
Overly stressed, and slightly annoyed brother.

P.S. I don't stalk your social media accounts to find something to complain/gossip about. Afford me the same courtesy.

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

Dear Guy Who Gives Unwanted Advice at Sports I'm Learning,

I didn't join solo sports to get away from people like you that are actually affected by my poor sporting performance. I know you are really really really good at golf, clay shooting, rock climbing or poker. I know that my game will improve by leaps and bounds if I could just listen to your sage advice with humility and grace. Your 200 dollars shoes scream, "I am a master at this sport". I want to help you move to the next level of advising were as a pro you will not offer advice unless you are asked/paid. Please bellow your advice loudly, such that I might hear it above my ipod earbuds and if I don't reply, take solace in that you have helped another poor wayward soul.

Sincerely,

Just Shut The Heck Up or Eff Off

 

[Quadrupled]

Dear Not a soccer dad & Soccer Convert at the Age of 35,



Sincerely,

A Simpsons Nerd

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Simpsons Nerd,

Well played sir. Well played.

Sincerely,


Still would rather watch American Football

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear Simpsons nerd,

I tried to find a Simpsons quote that said something along the lines of "Thank you for being you," but only came up with hallmark images that would sound super creepy coming from a stranger. So here's this instead.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q27YiPRiewg[/ame]

Sincerely,
Casual Simpsons Fan

 

[Kent88]

Dear Sister's Dog,
Why did you have to bark when I was sneaking in your yard at night to leave a christmas present?
Sincerely,
A sneaky elf

Dear Brother-in-law,
Why did you have to release the hound when you unknowingly had visitors in your yard in the middle of the night?

Sincerely,
The dark figure in your yard

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Dear Cold Virus,
Stahp... Just stahp it!

Sincerely,
Ain't nobody got time for dis

 

[m00ps]

Dear family,
Grumbling and being condescending because a family member is going to be homeless if you don't help because their back was pretty much broken, and then making them pay your rent while you constantly talk down to them. And then reminding your family members about how supportive you are while at the same time talking **** behind their back to their ex fiance... Sorry to tell you but that's not really being supportive. That's just boosting your own ego at the expense of another.
Sincerely
Overly stressed, and slightly annoyed brother.

P.S. I don't stalk your social media accounts to find something to complain/gossip about. Afford me the same courtesy.

Come stay at my place. Theres unlimited free beer (well enough to literally kill two dozen people or so) and a spare bed. You will have to watch me play video games for an hour or two after work every day though

I dont have any social media accounts to stalk people with. People still have to explain things to me like hashtags exist on more than just twitter

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Come stay at my place. Theres unlimited free beer (well enough to literally kill two dozen people or so) and a spare bed. You will have to watch me play video games for an hour or two after work every day though

I dont have any social media accounts to stalk people with. People still have to explain things to me like hashtags exist on more than just twitter

Sounds pretty much like paradise right now xP especially if I can join in on the games. Sadly at the moment I can't leave GA, or the insurance company can make my life a living hell.

 

[Beernik]

Dear Child of Mine,

I knew this day would come. The day you and your best friend discovered you could text each other nonstop. Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't occur before your 10th birthday.

Sincerely,

Dad

 

[Elkobrewer]

Dear Snow and cold please go around us the next 2 days I'm sick of shoveling

 

[cyanmonkey]

Dear Dog My Wife is Fostering,

Please stop farting and clearing every room you walk into. I know we're taking care of you until you die of old age, but please try to be respectful.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear Dog My Wife is Fostering,

Please stop farting and clearing every room you walk into. I know we're taking care of you until you die of old age, but please try to be respectful.

Dear no name,

Change the food or embrace the stink. Get ready to go through a lot of foods before it gets to tolerable.

Sincerely,

Last stop for senor giant breed dogs

 

[cyanmonkey]

Dear no name,



Change the food or embrace the stink. Get ready to go through a lot of foods before it gets to tolerable.



Sincerely,



Last stop for senor giant breed dogs

Food is donated and I don't think I can afford to feed 3 kids, 2 adults, 2 cats and 3 dogs, lol. I don't think she's got much time left. 10 years on a Rotty means a lot.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Food is donated and I don't think I can afford to feed 3 kids, 2 adults, 2 cats and 3 dogs, lol. I don't think she's got much time left. 10 years on a Rotty means a lot.

Rotty's have terrible gas lol I've never met one that couldn't clear a room, especially in old age. 10 years is definitely getting up there. I had a rotty mix that lived to be 13 and that was considered very old.

 

[cyanmonkey]

Rotty's have terrible gas lol I've never met one that couldn't clear a room, especially in old age. 10 years is definitely getting up there. I had a rotty mix that lived to be 13 and that was considered very old.

Yeah, she's got some issues with it, too. Rotting teeth, hip dysplasia (sp?). She spent her entire life used for breeding in a shelter. She doesn't know how to be a dog in a home, but we're just trying to make it nice for her before she goes on.

But dear lord, the smell.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Yeah, she's got some issues with it, too. Rotting teeth, hip dysplasia (sp?). She spent her entire life used for breeding in a shelter. She doesn't know how to be a dog in a home, but we're just trying to make it nice for her before she goes on.

But dear lord, the smell.

I can still remember the smell my rotty made xD I gag thinking about it. And hip dysplasia (I think that's right) is extremely common. That's sad that she's been used like that, I used to run a rescue and it's depressing how often you see stuff like that.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Yeah, she's got some issues with it, too. Rotting teeth, hip dysplasia (sp?). She spent her entire life used for breeding in a shelter. She doesn't know how to be a dog in a home, but we're just trying to make it nice for her before she goes on.

But dear lord, the smell.

Yes to all the health issues on my 16 year old Bernese...we adopted him at 11 to give him one good last year. Old dude just keeps going downhill then bouncing back. He is old enough to have walking farts.

The description of her past is my Saint Bernard's past. Breeder for 7 years at a puppy mill in spite of bad coloring because she has good eye lids and no hip issues. She is actually now pretty good as a dog (took a few weeks) but has issues with being overly protective of me and the renter if we have other people in the house. She can clear a room.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Yes to all the health issues on my 16 year old Bernese...we adopted him at 11 to give him one good last year. Old dude just keeps going downhill then bouncing back. He is old enough to have walking farts.

The description of her past is my Saint Bernard's past. Breeder for 7 years at a puppy mill in spite of bad coloring because she has good eye lids and no hip issues. She is actually now pretty good as a dog (took a few weeks) but has issues with being overly protective of me and the renter if we have other people in the house. She can clear a room.

I rescued a few pit bulls that were being used for breeding. The conditions they were in were terrible. Really sweet dogs though. Sweetest dog I ever had though was a pit that I rescued from a dog fighter. She had 1 good year left in her, and she was always so happy whenever she saw me. Just had to keep her from other dogs, she would get scared and act like a wild animal backed into a corner.

I also had a saint Bernard when I was a kid lol you'd come home to that massive dog sleeping on the dining room table.

 

[ifnotuthenwho]

Dear dog fart smellers,

Please follow the format or start a new thread.

Sincerely,
Annoyed by thread hijacking.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Dear dog fart smellers,

Please follow the format or start a new thread.

Sincerely,
Annoyed by thread hijacking.

Dear annoyed,

A few non-format replies won't break the internet.

Sincerely,
Internet rebel

 

[Beernik]

Food is donated and I don't think I can afford to feed 3 kids, 2 adults, 2 cats and 3 dogs, lol. I don't think she's got much time left. 10 years on a Rotty means a lot.

Dear Foster,

Make sure he isn't getting in the cat food. If my ridgeback (possibly Rotty mix) starts burning my nose hairs, it's because he's sneaking cat food or raiding their litter box for kitty roca.

Sincerely,

Also rescued a shelter dog.

 

[BrewingTravisty]

Dear Foster,

Make sure he isn't getting in the cat food. If my ridgeback (possibly Rotty mix) starts burning my nose hairs, it's because he's sneaking cat food or raiding their litter box for kitty roca.

Sincerely,

Also rescued a shelter dog.

Dear fellow rescuer,

I didn't even think about that xD that's pretty much a recipe for chemical weapons right there

Sincerely,
Hope you have a gasmask

 

[Beernik]

Dear Friday Harbor Bar #2,

Air Supply?

Sincerely,

Still searching for a dive bar

 

[max384]

Dear brain

Start working faster, and quit getting distracted so easily. I don't want to stay up all night working on this presentation because you can't stop checking facebook, reading HBT, and staring at the wall. I swear you must have ADHD.

Sincerely

Ooh, look, a squirrel

 

[rlmiller10]

Dear brain

Start working faster, and quit getting distracted so easily. I don't want to stay up all night working on this presentation because you can't stop checking facebook, reading HBT, and staring at the wall. I swear you must have ADHD.

Sincerely

Ooh, look, a squirrel

Dear Squirrel,

I thought it was only I how had a deliverable to do tonight but was in HBT instead.

Sincerely,

Wish I could just go drink

 

[slym2none]

Dear Squirrel,

I thought it was only I how had a deliverable to do tonight but was in HBT instead.

Sincerely,

Wish I could just go drink

Dear Wish,

You wrote that, and aren't drunk?

Sincerely,

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear Squirrel,

Same here...I ended putting a post it note over the clock on my laptop so I couldn't easily check the time every 8 seconds.

Sincerely,
Kill me

 

[TXCrash]

Dear deliverables,

Do your work more efficiently at work, and you.....


Sorry, saw a squirrel.

Sincerely,

 

[GilSwillBasementBrews]

Sincerely,

Dear ". ",
Great now I'll never know how it ends,

Sincerely,
perplexed

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Friday Harbor Bar #2,

Air Supply?

Sincerely,

Still searching for a dive bar

Dear Beernik,
Is Island Hoppin' Brewing still using a giant insulated plastic box for a mash tun?
Sincerely,
Homebrewers turned pro brewers crack me up

 

[TXCrash]

Dear ". ",
Great now I'll never know how it ends,

Sincerely,
perplexed

Dear perplexed,

The joke, you missed it.

Sincerely,

Squirrel! Caused the writer to wander off.

 

[GilSwillBasementBrews]

Dear Squirrel,
The joke, I did get. Was just joking with your joke
sincerely,
Not as funny once explained

 

[rlmiller10]

Dear Wish,

You wrote that, and aren't drunk?

Sincerely,

Dear typing instructor,

Got a C the first time and have not improved

Sincerely,

Love me some spell check...most of the time.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear Squirrel,
The joke, I did get. Was just joking with your joke
sincerely,
Not as funny once explained

Dear not funny,
I have to explain a lot of jokes.

Sincerely,

That guy