The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Riot]

Dear concrete in the way of where I want to bury wire for a garage brewery.
Why won't you break already? We rented a small jackhammer and this is still a ton of work. Why you gotta be so difficult?
Sincerely
Tired and just want to hang out and drink beer on Friday night

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Just Want to Hang Out,

If at first you don't succeed, quit before you hurt yourself.

Sincerely,
Every bit of hard work ever.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear Just want to hang out:
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Sincerely, "The Instigator."

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear WX Gods:
Thank you for the rain & cooler temps, we really needed both. Several fires are now contained, the air is smoke free, plat life has had a nice, life-giving drink & we've all had a break from the hot & dry. I'm really looking forward to Autumn.
Sincerely, Western MT.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear last night me,
You're an *******. Drink less and go to bed earlier. It is not an absolute requirement to get drunk while brewing.

Oh, and start brewing earlier, dummy.

Sincerely,
Present hung over me.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear last night me,
You're an *******. Drink less and go to bed earlier. It is not an absolute requirement to get drunk while brewing.

Oh, and start brewing earlier, dummy.

Sincerely,
Present hung over me.

Dear hung over me,
HAHAHAHA SUCKER!!!
Sincerely,
Drunk TXCrash

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear Welder without a Clue,

Just because to lay down a pretty bead does not mean you have actually fused two pieces of metal together. I assume this is your profession since I bought the item from a "Proud Union only Business" but I have seen high school shop work of better quality.

Oh, and now your company has to send someone to my house to repair your piss poor work as its failure has rendered my NEW enclosed trailer not roadworthy. You should be proud.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Trailer Owner

 

[TXCrash]

Dear Welder without a Clue,

Just because to lay down a pretty bead does not mean you have actually fused two pieces of metal together. I assume this is your profession since I bought the item from a "Proud Union only Business" but I have seen high school shop work of better quality.

Oh, and now your company has to send someone to my house to repair your piss poor work as its failure has rendered my NEW enclosed trailer not roadworthy. You should be proud.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Trailer Owner

Dear Union only,
He was hung over, see above.
Sincerely,
Buy open shop

 

[Sunward33]

Dear Kraken Rum,
Why did I waste a perfectly good brew day making a very sessionable blonde ale for the party, if you're just going to crash it and upset the balance?
I don't think it would be a good idea to see each other again for a while. Too much was said that can't be taken back.
Sincerely,
Drown Sailor

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear SWMBO,

If I send you a link and ask your opinion. I expect that you read the whole ten pages worth of information that is provided before telling me your opinion. When you comment on the two points that are on the first page and a half and say that was all that was there it is quite obvious you didn't scroll at all and now I am wasting my time sending you screen shots of the entire thing to prove that there was more than just the page and a half you read and say was all that was there...

Sincerely,
Probably sleeping on the couch with the dogs tonight.

 

[Melana]

Dear Probably sleeping on the couch with the dogs,

Next time shorten the 10 pages down to a handy outline.

Sincerely,
Ten pages of information would make me sleepy.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear SWMBO,

If I send you a link and ask your opinion. I expect that you read the whole ten pages worth of information that is provided before telling me your opinion. When you comment on the two points that are on the first page and a half and say that was all that was there it is quite obvious you didn't scroll at all and now I am wasting my time sending you screen shots of the entire thing to prove that there was more than just the page and a half you read and say was all that was there...

Sincerely,
Probably sleeping on the couch with the dogs tonight.

Dear dogs,
My divorce decree is 35 pages.
Sincerely,
Is 10 pages enough?

 

[Melana]

Dear Karma,
Thank you for turning around and dismissing the small claims suit that was filed against me.
Sincerely,
Breathing easier

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear "Dear", "Sincerely" Thread,

I'm sorry I forgot about you.
I missed you.

Sincerely,
Sincere

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear Welder without a Clue,

Just because to lay down a pretty bead does not mean you have actually fused two pieces of metal together. I assume this is your profession since I bought the item from a "Proud Union only Business" but I have seen high school shop work of better quality.

Oh, and now your company has to send someone to my house to repair your piss poor work as its failure has rendered my NEW enclosed trailer not roadworthy. You should be proud.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Trailer Owner

i see the problem already but its so ill leave it alone for now.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear Entertained,

I rent a lot of cars. I'm renaming my phone 'Frodo lives' or 'Toy Story 2 was OK'

Sincerely,

I Like Your Style

dear car renters

how do you name your phone

a younger (lol yea right) simpler guy

 

[TooDogly]

Dear American Voter,

Donald Trump for president? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sincerely, Let's see how that works out for you

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear past self,
You sir are a knucklehead. Really you were at the hardware store buying new tubing. Why on earth did you decide not to grab the screw for the grain mill. I don't know. Maybe you like crushing 30 lbs of grain by hand. Masochist.
Sincerely hoping I remeber next time.

 

[Sunward33]

Dear SWMBO,
Please don't spend $300 on a new camera bag and then question my $15 propane refill. My hobby is much cheaper and far more consumable than yours.
Sincerely,
I'd prefer a beer over another photo of the cats any day.

 

[Inkleg]

Dear guy whose wife takes cat photos,

Sorry you have to go through that.

Sincerely,
Joint account to pay all living expenses. Each with separate account for playing with no guilt.
(Holy sh*t, my wifes hobby is photography too, I know where you're coming from)

 

[slym2none]

Dear I'd Prefer A Beer,

Good luck with that.

Sincerely, I Don't Know What The Hell I Am Doing Anymore

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear SWMBO,
Please don't spend $300 on a new camera bag and then question my $15 propane refill. My hobby is much cheaper and far more consumable than yours.
Sincerely,
I'd prefer a beer over another photo of the cats any day.

Dear Husband of the woman who likes to take pictures of her *****,
Quit yer complainin. Just get even by taking pictures of your sausage and leaving it out for her.
Sincerely,
Couldnt help myself

 

[Sunward33]

Dear,
Couldn't help myself.
If the photos were of her ***** she might actually make some money at it!
Sincerely,
If my wife ever reads this you'll find my dismembered corpse in my mash tun

 

[TXCrash]

Dear,
Couldn't help myself.
If the photos were of her ***** she might actually make some money at it!
Sincerely,
If my wife ever reads this you'll find my dismembered corpse in my mash tun

Dear dead in mash tun,
There is a subforum for that.

Sincerely,
Free lifetime

 

[TXCrash]

Dear German contractors?

Why you no bring German females?

Sincerely,
Workin at a sausage factory

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear Workin at a sausage factory,

Are you absolutely sure they didn't? Though they have their beauties, they also have their version of Romanian Power Lifters. Remember the East German female swimmers from the 1980's?

Sincerely,

Guy who has lived and worked there.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear Big Sky Brewing:
I tried your new seasonal brew "Big Sky Rye Pale Ale," and was soooo disappointed. You could've at least warned me by including a little description on the label: "Citrus notes" would've been enough to warn me off, but no, you had to let me hope it was a tasty brew. It was truly VILE! It had more grapefruit flavor than a grapefruit! Backed up with some piney-ness, I don't see how ANYBODY could taste the rye. You got my money & I got to pour your crap beer down the sink. Doesn't anybody appreciate the taste of MALT anymore? I really hate those nasty, grapefruit flavored hops; next time, please have the common courtesy to warn me so I won't buy your crap.
Sincerely, GF.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear GF,
Please don't beat around the bush. Tell us how you REALLY feel, directly. Your subtle hints are lost on the obtuse.
Sincerely,
BIB
P.S. Was also disappointed recently with an Amber that was a hop-bomb. I love hops, but c'mon, lighten up and let the malts shine through now and again.

 

[Beernik]

Dear HBT,

I will have to live vicariously through you because there will be no brewing until after the move which be between Halloween & Thanksgiving. Not sure how much equipment will be making the move either.

Sincerely,
I have to drink 8 gallons of beer in the next six weeks.

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Dear HBT,

I will have to live vicariously through you because there will be no brewing until after the move which be between Halloween & Thanksgiving. Not sure how much equipment will be making the move either.

Sincerely,
I have to drink 8 gallons of beer in the next six weeks.

Dear have to,

That's 1.5 pints a day, or 2 twelve ounce beers.

Sincerely,
Harden the Flocc Up

 

[Psylocide]

Dear GF,
Please don't beat around the bush. Tell us how you REALLY feel, directly. Your subtle hints are lost on the obtuse.
Sincerely,
BIB
P.S. Was also disappointed recently with an Amber that was a hop-bomb. I love hops, but c'mon, lighten up and let the malts shine through now and again.

Dear Notorious BIB,

I was recently disappointed in this year's batch of Nosferatu because it totally lost its strong hop finish.

Sincerely,

Moar hops

 

[ColoHox]

Dear Office Chair,

Thanks for absorbing a plethora of post-lunch flatulence.

Sincerely,
Me and my cube mates

 

[Sunward33]

Dear ColoHox's cube mates,
If you don't speak up he will continue to believe that the chair is filtering his nose melting farts.
Sincerely,
Thankful I don't have cube mates

 

[KayaBrew]

Dear Chemo,

I hope my last time seeing you yesterday does the job:rockin:.

 

[TooDogly]

Dear Kayabrew,

I wish you the best on your road to recovery, you have a bright future in front of you. RDWHAHB :rockin:

Sincerely, a fellow homebrewer.

Oh, and f*ck cancer.

 

[Beernik]

Dear licensing board,

Why don't you ask for a notarized signature in blood? It would be easier than your 7 page application and cheaper than the $200 I'll end up paying in fees.

Sincerely,
You would think an comity application based upon licensure in another State would be easy.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear licensing board,

Why don't you ask for a notarized signature in blood? It would be easier than your 7 page application and cheaper than the $200 I'll end up paying in fees.

Sincerely,
You would think an comity application based upon licensure in another State would be easy.

Dear 'You would think an comity application based upon licensure in another State would be easy',

Sincerely
Was that signature even english, or was it legalese?

 

[Beernik]

Dear Was That Legalese

It is legalese. Basically it's saying if you meet the requirements in one State and the requirements are identical in another State, you don't have to go through all the same licensing requirements again.

It should be as easy as saying "Here's a copy of my license in Utah, your requirements are identical, here's my $110 fee, give me a license for Washington."

Not in Washington. The only difference between getting a comity license and licensure for the first time is taking test.

I have to:
1. Fill out the application.
2. Pay the $110 fee
3. Get my test scores and a copy of my license in Utah sent to them, which is a $20 fee.
4. Send in a copy of my college transcripts "sealed in an envelope" which is another fee.
5. Document my entire professional working history from the time I graduated college.
6. Have a supervisor vouch for at least 4 years of professional experience. They have to put their license stamp on the envelope and sign across the seal on the envelope. I have to submit it unopened.

It might be easier to just retest in Washington.

Sincerely,
Day 2 of working on this damn application

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Day 2 of working on this damn application,

You should try getting a medical license! In one state (WV) I actually had to physically go and show them my diploma in person.

Sincerely,
It's all about control and money for the states...

 

[max384]

Dear withered and tired applicants

If you need a boost, rejoice that you don't have to fill out a 54 page application for commission as a medical officer/secret security clearance... I was ready to gouge my eyes out by the time I finished it, a week and many beers later. This was several years ago and I still have nightmares.

Damn. Big brother is probably reading this right now.

Sincerely,

Gotta love the gubmint