The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear boredom at work,

Why do I end up doing crazy things like connecting my 32" HDTV to my work computer that takes over 30 mins to boot in the morning?

Sincerely,
I need to get a better computer to use this screen!

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear Oregon ducks,
please politely decline any future invitations to the playoffs or NC game and let a better team take your spot. You won't be as embarrassed that way lol.

Sincerely,
my team plays better teams during the regular season to find out if they are good enough for post season play.

 

[Psylocide]

Dear People of the Internet,

This is a pallet:

I don't care how sophisticated you think yours is... it still cannot detect or identify 'off' flavors. Because it's a pallet.

Sincerely,

Me again

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear People of the Internet,

This is a pallet:

I don't care how sophisticated you think yours is... it still cannot detect off flavors. Because it's a pallet.

Sincerely,

Me again

Dear Psylocide,

Ah wub joo.

Sincerely,
Ur lil caddy-poo

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Psylocide,

Ah wub joo.

Sincerely,
Ur lil caddy-poo

Dear Guy,

Don't quote me before I'm done with my Ninja edits, lol.

Sincerely,

Rax on, Rax off.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Guy,

Don't quote me before I'm done with my Ninja edits, lol.

Sincerely,

Rax on, Rax off.

Dear Pal,

I'm not your guy, dude.

Sincerely,
Brosef

 

[KindofBlues71]

Dear Diarrhea During Work Conference Call,

Well played sir.

Sincerely,
Pants

 

[Newsman]

Dear other departments at work:
QUIT BEING SO DAMN PICKY AND JUST PASS MY JOB!

Sincerely,
Annoyed

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Me,

I know you're weirdly anal about some ****... but why this?





Seriously... why do they have to match? What does it even matter? Get a grip man... you can't keep just liking posts to make them match up, and restraining your likes until you get one on another post is kind of a ******** move.

Good God.

Sincerely,

Your's truly.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Me,

I know you're weirdly anal about some ****... but why this?


View attachment 248647


Seriously... why do they have to match? What does it even matter? Get a grip man... you can't keep just liking posts to make them match up, and restraining your likes until you get one on another post is kind of a ******** move.

Good God.

Sincerely,

Your's truly.

Dear your's truly,
It's not just you. When my subscribed threads count hit 666, I got nervous.
Sincerely,
Not even a believer, just get numbers stuck in my head.

 

[Scele]

Dear your's truly,
It's not just you. When my subscribed threads count hit 666, I got nervous.
Sincerely,
Not even a believer, just get numbers stuck in my head.

Thank you for that.
6 + 6 + 6 = 18
6 + (6+6) = 18
(6+6)+6 = 18 (cumulative law of addition)

6 x 6 x 6 = 216
(6x6)x6 = 216
6 x (6x6) = 216 (multiplicative law)

6 / 6 / 6 = 0,1666666666667
6 / (6/6) = 6
(6/6)/6 = 0.16666666666667

6 - 6 - 6 = - 6
6 - (6-6) = 6
(6-6)-6 = - 6

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear People of the Internet,

This is a pallet:

I don't care how sophisticated you think yours is... it still cannot detect or identify 'off' flavors. Because it's a pallet.

Sincerely,

Me again

Dear you again,

Some folks on here have such a bad palate that it might as well be a pallet.

Sincerely,
Truth bomb.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear idiot "driver" who yesterday morning decided to turn left without looking to the right before your turn:
Thanks for nearly hitting my truck, forcing me to lay on the horn, swerve into the other lane & swear a blue streak that would knock a sailor unconscious & is still fading from the air as I type. It's people like you who cause accidents & then say stupid things like "I didn't see you." That's because you didn't bother to look! It's also people like you who cause Montana to have the worst drivers in the USA.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/12/10/which-state-has-worst-drivers/20205339/
I'm trying to be positive & thankful that you DIDN'T actually hit me, but it's tough.
Sincerely, One heartbeat away from a coronary.

 

[Zepth]

Dear pallet haters,
Have you never heard of beer with a "pine" or "resin" taste to it?
Sincerely,
Sarcasm.

 

[biochemedic]

Dear pallet haters,
Have you never heard of beer with a "pine" or "resin" taste to it?
Sincerely,
Sarcasm.

Dear Sarcasm,

Why yes...yes I have. I've even tasted such beers and appreciated them with my palate.

Sincerely,
Literal

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear event,

I know your coordinator insisted that I be here to turn on the light switch and change a battery in a microphone. But in all honestly I wonder why you are unable to take care of this yourself after I've shown you plenty of times.

Sincerely,
Just cost the business 7 hours of overtime for your incompetence.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear event,

I know your coordinator insisted that I be here to turn on the light switch and change a battery in a microphone. But in all honestly I wonder why you are unable to take care of this yourself after I've shown you plenty of times.

Sincerely,
Just cost the business 7 hours of overtime for your incompetence.

Dear renegades,
Due to your recent misuse of overtime, we have now changed our policy and have determined you are in violation. A copy of this policy will be available late next year. Please bring yourself into immediate compliance.

Sincerely,
The company I work for

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear renegades,
Due to your recent misuse of overtime, we have now changed our policy and have determined you are in violation. A copy of this policy will be available late next year. Please bring yourself into immediate compliance.

Sincerely,
The company I work for

Dear Crash,

Sounds similar to what I went through last year. So I had to have weekly meetings with my boss to "justify" my overtime each week before taking it.

He understands that I am being requested for pointless reasons that people could handle on their own. But since I am being requested it is "justified".

Sincerely,
I hope these longer shifts don't get in the way of my freelance work.

 

[Melana]

Dear Karma,
I understood that my close call with frozen pipes was a warning shot for some misdeed that I had done. Heard that message loud and clear. Was it really necessary to fire another shot at me yesterday?
Sincerely,
Still shocked at the water bill (for the house I own but do not occupy) being 10X what the last one was.

Come on... a break is desperately needed here.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear lady who made my sandwich today,
Not that I am complaining, but you do realize the definition of a portion when it comes to putting lunch meat on a sandwich. I ordered a turkey club and got 1lb of turkey, 8 pieces of bacon and about 1/3 gallon each of mayo and mustard on it. I am looking at one of the 'slices of bacon and it is circular and about the thickness of my thumb. This is a work cafeteria, not a delicatessan, and when you cant get the paper to wrap all the way around the sandwich you obviously did something wrong.
Sincerely,
Fat and Full and there is still food left.

 

[Melana]

Dear Far and Full,
Perhaps she likes you
Sincerely,
Wishing I had a sandwich.

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Fat and Full,

I have had the kids working at Subway remake my sub just about every time I've been there (no longer).

"Easy mayo" does not mean to empty half the bottle on my sandwich instead of the whole bottle, which seems to be standard procedure over there.

Sincerely,

Get it together. Mayo should not be the star of your sandwich.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Far and Full,
Perhaps she likes you
Sincerely,
Wishing I had a sandwich.

Dear Melana,
She may, but really isnt my type. She is old enough to be my mothers older sister and does not seem to have been in america long enough to understand english. You can have the other half of mine if you want.

Dear Fat and Full,

I have had the kids working at Subway remake my sub just about every time I've been there (no longer).

"Easy mayo" does not mean to empty half the bottle on my sandwich instead of the whole bottle, which seems to be standard procedure over there.

Sincerely,

Get it together. Mayo should not be the star of your sandwich.

Dear Get it together,
You are right there. Condiments are not dupposed to be the headliners of the meal. Whether it be a sandwich, steak (A1 is blasphemy on a good steak), or anything else for that matter. This bacon strip that was sliced as thick as my thumb is pretty darn good though. I had to cut off the pinky sized section of fat though, gotta make some effort to be healthy after all.
Sincerely,
Ugh, I ate too much.

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Fat and Full -
Al that stuff was old and gross and we were going to toss it to the pigs at the end of the shift. The mayo and mustard covers up the mold and off odors. Glad you liked it.
Sincerely, your mother's older sister

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear Karma,
I understood that my close call with frozen pipes was a warning shot for some misdeed that I had done. Heard that message loud and clear. Was it really necessary to fire another shot at me yesterday?
Sincerely,
Still shocked at the water bill (for the house I own but do not occupy) being 10X what the last one was.

Come on... a break is desperately needed here.

Dear Melana:
Have you checked to see that a break isn't exactly what happened at the house with the high water bill? A broken pipe would be my 1st thought when encountering such a high water bill. Just a thought.
Sincerely, GF.

 

[Melana]

Dear Melana:
Have you checked to see that a break isn't exactly what happened at the house with the high water bill? A broken pipe would be my 1st thought when encountering such a high water bill. Just a thought.
Sincerely, GF.

Dear GF:
Yes, I made a trip there yesterday to check the system out and there is no break anywhere.
Sincerely,
Melana

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear GF:
Yes, I made a trip there yesterday to check the system out and there is no break anywhere.
Sincerely,
Melana

Dear Melana,
Toilet tanks are another place that will screw you on water consumption. If the house is vacant, you may as well just shut off the water to the house at the main valve where it comes into the house. Otherwise check all faucets for leaks, and shut off the valves at strategic places like the toilets. A leaky toilet seal can really increase water consumption.
Sincerely,
I have fixed way too many leaky terlits.

 

[Beernik]

Dear toilet leaks,

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Sincerely,
Bevis & Butthead

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear Monday/ coworkers,
%)-&@ you. That is all I'm better now.
Sincerely I don't have much more hair to lose and it's Monday.

 

[Zepth]

Dear thinning hair,
I recently had work induce high enough blood pressure to burst some in my eye. Work sucks the big one these days.
Sincerely,
Still has 2 foot long hair.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Still has 2 foot long hair,
Get a haircut you hippie!
Sincerely,
Hey kids, get off of my lawn!

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear neighbor

I understand that by some twisted agenda you feel the need to contact the newspaper and get a story published about how our association "isn't" doing its job correctly. However it is by your own laziness that you haven't done what it is you need to do to get the documents you want.

I understand that your shortsightedness only allows you to see your own issues that are all of a sudden "major problems". But for once can you actually look at what your actions are going to cause?

Sincerely,
I want to move and it will be hard enough to sell my place without you making it harder by getting newspapers to do stories with no merit on our subdivision.

 

[Komocabo]

Dear calls to India,

Listen, I get it that we are 13.5 hours apart, but we don't need meetings that start at 6:30am, then another that starts at 7:00pm. I do have a normal job to handle during the hours of 8am-6pm...

Sincerely,
Not paid enough to work from 6:30am to 8:30pm. That's called 2 jobs. Please review my compensation structure immediately.

 

[Fedora]

Dear As*** le Boss,

You really think I'm coming back after lunch, don't you? Better floccin learn not to take good employees for granted or they soon become not so good employees.

Sincerely, This

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Computer systems,
So far we have had 2 separate print servers crap the bed, as well as part of our mail server. Then after reporting these issues, to the server guys, they come back and insult us Helldeskers for bringing it to their attention. Can you all just be nice to us for once? I feel beaten down and need a beer.
Please,
Hell Desk guy

 

[Newsman]

Dear Hell Desk guy,
I feel your pain.
Sincerely former IT guy

 

[LAHammer]

Dear NFL,
Offsides - 5 yard penalty
Holding - 10 yard penalty
Deflated football - ??????
Sincerely,
Get over it already!!

"The probe, led by NFL Executive Vice President Jess Pash and prominent criminal defense lawyer Ted Wells, was launched soon after the game and has already compiled interviews with Patriots personnel, game officials and "third parties with relevant information and expertise," the league said. Renaissance Associates, a private investigation firm, is providing forensic expertise in the reviewing of videos and other electronic evidence."

Seriously????????????????
Deflated football forensics????????

 

[ubnserved]

Dear getting over,
That right we cheated now gimme my trophy!
Sincerely,
Hahahaha

(Sarcasm alert!)

Real simple to see if they cheated... pump the balls up to pressure if they hold pressure for a day someone cheated, if they don't then drop it. You cheat, you lose, go home!

 

[LAHammer]

Dear Ha,
I think the Colts deflated the balls thinking they were going to screw up Brady. Maybe 'forensics' will show hoof prints on the balls.
Sincerely,
Who's laffin' now

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear trash talking football guys,
Just a reminder that you have your own thread for all that tribalistic chest thumping. Take it there, please.
Signed,
You're entitled to trash talk... over on that thread