The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[seatazzz]

Dear Future Me,

Yes, there is a big competition coming up. Yes, you have three beers entered, one meh, one okay, and one just about the best NEIPA I've ever brewed in my humble non-BJCP trained opinion. You will not, I repeat NOT, get all butthurt when said NEIPA does not win a medal because everyone and their brother enters that class. Just read the scoresheet, learn from it, and move on.

Sincerely, I rarely listen to my own advice.

 

[balrog]

Dear "I rarely listen to my own advice."
I swear that sounds like English but I have no idea what those words mean.
Sincerely
My inner voice gave up years ago

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear 5lb maul,
It has been a long time since we have spent time together. The hour we spent splitting up some of the pile of maple to fire wood was fun this afternoon.
It was also nice that you brought a couple of other friends I have been missing for a while: Advil and 'Going to bed early'.
Sincerely,
Gonna feel this tomorrow.

 

[Kent88]

Dear past me that agreed to be stranded on the ice for eight hours a day for two days as a vacation,

Well you really did it this time. I guess I packed all my long underwear and it's not like I've never spent hours ice fishing, but something about going out like this isn't sitting well with me.

We have a shack with a heater, it's going to be ok. I hope. Hopefully the ice is still comfortably thick, the fishing will be entertaining enough to distract me from how long I'm going to be out there, and the kids don't drive me crazy.

Sincerely,
Too tired to write a coherent message

 

[balrog]

Dear 5lb maul,
It has been a long time since we have spent time together. The hour we spent splitting up some of the pile of maple to fire wood was fun this afternoon.
It was also nice that you brought a couple of other friends I have been missing for a while: Advil and 'Going to bed early'.
Sincerely,
Gonna feel this tomorrow.

Dear Toes and Shin,
Yes, splitting wood is fun.
No, dropping iron splitting wedges on you was not fun.
Sincerely,
Where are my Elf BandAids?

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Too Tired,

I don't live in an area where ice fishing is a thing, but the only justifiable reason I can find for ice fishing is that the fish are already frozen before you take them home.

Sincerely, that's the beer talking

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Peppermint Candy That I just Made,

Thank you for not turning into a crystallized hunk of hard-to-clean-up-mess because I finally figured out what the issue is.

Sincerely, I have too many damned hobbies

 

[Kent88]

Dear Too Tired,

I don't live in an area where ice fishing is a thing, but the only justifiable reason I can find for ice fishing is that the fish are already frozen before you take them home.

Sincerely, that's the beer talking

If you want to give it a try and are willing to travel, contact me next December. The trip itself probably wouldn't happen until February because [redacted], but December would be a good time to start planning it.

Sincerely,

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Redacted,

If the Midwest USA is anywhere near where a branch of the company I work for (that rhymes with Zider) (and has to do with trucking) (so I can make them pay for it) I might just hit you up.

Sincerely, I need a vacation

 

[seatazzz]

(yes I know I post way too much in this thread but it's fun)

Dear Beloved Cats,

Use your new automated catbox more so Mamma can show her coworkers when you pee and poop via the app for said new catbox.

Sincerely, I am way too easily entertained

 

[Kent88]

Dear @seatazzz

How are you?

Sincerely,

 

[seatazzz]

Dear @Kent88 ,

Despite depressing posts, quite well! Just having a day of remembering those who have left us too soon. Also I need a haircut.

Sincerely,

I can only be serious for a little bit, then the shenanigans come out. I'm fine, I promise. Thank you for reaching out, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear person,
"Too hoppy and bitter" is not constructive criticism when talking about a double IPA.

Sincerely
The brewer.

To bring this WAY back to the start...

Dear wife who prefers pilsners and blonde ales,

When we get through a 3 hour line at Russian River Windsor for the Pliny the Younger release, the one thing you should probably not say to me once you've jumped WAY past all the other things on their tap list to immediately taste Younger, is "You didn't tell me this would be SO aggressive!"

Sincerely,
What did you think a bunch of beer geeks were standing line for?

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Three Entries in Way under-entered Competition due this Friday,

Do your mamma proud.

Sincerely,

Nobody tastes like mold and I finally did a dark beer RIGHT.

And...

Dear Persons who Identify As Female That Also Brew Beer in the PNW,

GET GOING AND GET YOUR ENTRIES IN TOOTSWEET.

Sincerely,

I want some competition

 

[balrog]

Dear @seatazzz ,
Both "shenanigans" and "toot-sweet" in one day?!
Sincerely,
Gonna Have To Up My Diarhetic Verbosityness Game

 

[bruce_the_loon]

Dear Gonna Have To Up My Diarhetic Verbosityness Game

Please take note, the Verbosity Expectation Level has now been raised from Prime Minister Jim Hacker to Sir Humphrey Appleby.

Sincerely,
The Oxford English Dictionary Page 2331

 

[Kent88]

Dear big name barbershop/salon chain,

What the severe heck? I show up at 1pm on a Wednesday, see one person in line, and am told there's an hour wait.

What is this guy asking you to do?

Sincerely,
A shaggy guy nostalgic for a time when I could walk into a place without an appointment, guesstimate about a 10min wait per person in line, and get a simple haircut.

 

[balrog]

Dear big name barbershop/salon chain,

What the severe heck? I show up at 1pm on a Wednesday, see one person in line, and am told there's an hour wait.

What is this guy asking you to do?

Sincerely,
A shaggy guy nostalgic for a time when I could walk into a place without an appointment, guesstimate about a 10min wait per person in line, and get a simple haircut.

Dear Former Barbershop Barber,
Haircut.
Polite conversation, perhaps.
And remember that Miss Manners articulates that one should never discuss sex, religion, or politics in polite company.

Especially politics.

Sincerely,
Never Try To Teach A Pig To Sing; You Waste Your Time And You Annoy The Pig, Who Could Be Holding Sharp Objects Near Your Noggin

 

[Kent88]

Wait, are you the former barbershop barber? I'm definitely not.,

I always let the barber dictate the conversation. I'm usually pretty comfortable with silence, and I don't need anything fancy so my haircuts don't take long anyway, so I'm good just to sit there and be bored. Is it impolite to not try making conversation with the barber?

Sincerely,
Shaggy and apparently not up on barbershop/salon procedures or etiquette.

 

[Kent88]

Me 5 minutes ago,

Balrogs comment likely had nothing to do with you other than you reminded him his barber talks to much.

Work on your parsing.

Sincerely,

 

[balrog]

Me 5 minutes ago,

Balrogs comment likely had nothing to do with you other than you reminded him his barber talks to much.

Work on your parsing.

Sincerely,

It started innocently enough. The first time I visited was two days following the Nov 2024 election. She was euphoric. I gave her noncommittal responses and repeatedly steered conversation to the weather. The second time, she was less euphoric but seemed determined to get my approval at every "not his fault" conversation. I again steered conversation to weather, and when that was no longer effective, turned toward a "what about the billionaires?" bent, which seemed to work. The last time I just couldn't manage any strength at decent conviviality and went with "better we just don't talk politics". And I'm not going back. Neither of us will ever convert the other and I don't need that kind of hassle.

 

[balrog]

Almost forgot the thread.

Sincerely,
Just cut my hair, thank you.

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Neil Young,

Thank you for having just ONE song of yours that I can stand, and actually like.

Sincerely,

Harvest Moon just came on Pandora and I absolutely adore it. Hate everything else he did solo though.

 

[seatazzz]

OMG Pandora loves me tonight.

Dear Sam & Dave,

Thank you for Soul Man, but I can't help remembering Belushi and Aykroyd performing it on SNL so many many many years ago.

Sincerely,

PLAY IT STEVE!!!!

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Shaggy Guy (aka @Kent88 )

Have you SEEN what the younguns are doing with their hair these days????

Sincerely,

Get Offa My Lawn

 

[Kent88]

Dear Get Offa My Lawn,

The pastor at my home church is slightly younger than me now and has crazy hair. It keeps my parents from getting all ornery with me, which I appreciate.

But my hair right now is so dang long it's constantly in my eyes and it's driving me crazy. It hasn't been this long since before I bought a special guard for my clippers during Covid. I'm so annoyed by it I'm about to start stealing my spouse's hair ties (or whatever they're called) when it's just my daughter and I alone at the house during the day.

The younguns are doing weird things. I'm not that worried about looking weird (if I don't have it tied up, anyway), I'm just trying to keep it out of my eyes and ears.

Sincerely,
A Shaggy Guy

 

[balrog]

Dear Shaggy Guy,
There's always..

Sincerely,
Derriere du Intelligencia

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Shaggy Guy,

The one male person in our office full of estrogen has beautiful long dark brown curly hair, that he will occasionally put up in a manbun. I'm considered the 'mom' of the room (due to my advanced age) and I always flip him crap about it.

Sincerely,

When did "manbun" become part of our vocabulary????? I'm old.

 

[Kent88]

Dear manbun loving work mom,

I don't get the appeal of the manbun, either. Definitely not something I would do. But whatever makes one feel pretty, I guess. One of my older kid's first teachers was a dude with a manbun. He seemed like a good guy and a good teacher.

Knowing you as little as I do, you seem like the kind of person that might give a guy grief over hair like that, but it's probably all in good fun.

Sincerely,
Still too shaggy