Stupid Joke Thread!

[Schlenkerla]

How do you say brassiere or bra in German?

Stoppen-frum-floppen!


[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hETBpWRy3rc[/ame]

 

[Schlenkerla]

 

[JonM]

A snake walks into a bar.

Bartender says "How did you do that?!"

 

[GrogNerd]

http://increasinglyuncommoncommonsense.blogspot.com/2013/07/feghoot-of-day.html

 

[arturo7]

Your face

 

[mikeasu]

So a skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop...


Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

 

[JonM]

An Irishman, a Mexican, two priests and a Rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

 

[JonM]

www.conjunctivitis.com - now there's a site for sore eyes.

 

[Steveruch]

http://increasinglyuncommoncommonsense.blogspot.com/2013/07/feghoot-of-day.html

A guy I worked with quite a few years ago used to regularly say, "Why is common sense so uncommon?"
He only said that when he was drunk.

 

[jstringer1983]

A Man and woman lay in bed together. Man: "do you smoke after sex?"
Woman: i dont really know, ive never looked..."

 

[bruce_the_loon]

For sale, dead budgie, not going cheep.

 

[Schlenkerla]

21 Stupid Jokes

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

 

[JonM]

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. That constant beeping was making me dizzy.

 

[Schlenkerla]

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his a$$....

 

[Schlenkerla]

What is Forrest Gump's gmail password?

1Forre$t1

 

[Zuljin]

Your face

Your face sucks! And you can't even report me, because it does.

 

[Fedora]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?











































The "P" is silent.

Courtesy, hat Jr.

 

[smurfjuice]

Nyuk, nyuk. ...

 

[JonM]

Before you go into the bathroom, you're American. When you come out of the bathroom, you're American. What are you when you're IN the bathroom?

You're-a-peein'!

 

[Zuljin]

Hey! European on mah boot!

 

[arturo7]

There is a brothel in the mountains.

The guy going in?

He's Russian

The guy leaving?

He's Finnish

The guy inside?

Himalayan

 

[Schlenkerla]

Hopefully ethnic jokes are ok. My family is Polish, so I'm ok with it...

Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?

A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".

 

[arturo7]

Polish jokes seemed to come to an abrupt end when they became the first country to tell the Soviet Union to **** off.

 

[JonM]

Milwaukee just hosted its huge annual Polish Fest last weekend. There was a Sunday Mass, bands, lots of traditional food, dance and art, that submarine with the screen door ...

 

[JonM]

Still waiting for an opportunity to use the old Groucho line

*speaks into microphone*

"Can you hear me?"
"No"
"Well you're not missing anything."

 

[MHBT]

What do you call a werewolf that is sleeping?

an unaware wolf he ha he ha he ha he ha

im made another funny

 

[soccerdad]

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?

A: Arrrrrrrrrrr



... no sorry, that would be The C

 

[Schlenkerla]

Milwaukee just hosted its huge annual Polish Fest last weekend. There was a Sunday Mass, bands, lots of traditional food, dance and art, that submarine with the screen door ...

What did you get to eat? I'd have gotten a Polish Sausage covered with kraut and later some prune or potato pierogies.

For you Non-Polskies - Pierogies are the Mexican version of empanadas or small version of the Italian calzones.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Q) What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?

A) A small medium at large.

 

[Schlenkerla]

I went to the bank the other day and asked the teller to check my balance.

The teller pushed me, but I couldnt really blame her. LOL