Stupid Joke Thread!

[agentbud]

I'm not saying I'm old... but when I was in school, we made ashtrays for our parents in art class.

 

[jcav]

And key holders and napkin holders in shop class!

John

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot.

But I'm not a fan.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

The only thing flat earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

 

[day_trippr]

National "Pretend to be a Time Traveller Day" was tomorrow.

 

[balrog]

The first Rule of Condescension Club
is kinda long and complex
and I don't think you'd understand
even if I explained it to you.

 

[Broken Crow]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

New York is the opposite of Minnesota because New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where the Minneapolis.

 

[balrog]

I crossed a four leaf clover with poison ivy.

I had a rash of good luck.




I tried to keep it to myself but I was just itching to tell someone.

 

[day_trippr]

 

[day_trippr]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

One hydrogen atom says to another, “Oh no, I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

It replied, “Yes, I’m positive.”

 

[DaveDiamond]

One hydrogen atom says to another, “Oh no, I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

It replied, “Yes, I’m positive.”

Never believe an Atom.
They make everything up.

 

[DaveDiamond]

Ah, it's all coming back to me now!
Said the man p..ing in the fan.

 

[DaveDiamond]

That remains to be seen!
Said the Elephant ....... on the footpath!

 

[BongoYodeler]

We were very poor when I was growing up. I had a Mr Potato famine head.

 

[balrog]

 

[balrog]

 

[balrog]

I love cooking with bourbon.

Sometimes I even put it in the food.

 

[doug293cz]

View attachment 884890

Would have been better if they had typed "II" instead of "eleven."

Brew on

 

[balrog]

Would have been better if they had typed "II" instead of "eleven."

Brew on

I suppose. Because then, you could make it about the [Base(n) + 1] types of people.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I was struggling to fix the fence when a bird came over and offered me some help. I asked the bird how he can help without any hands.
He replied “I’m just going to wing it.”

 

[ncbrewer]

Would have been better if they had typed "II" instead of "eleven."

Brew on

I was trying to figure out how XI would fit in.

 

[BongoYodeler]

A guy wakes up in the hospital with the strangest feeling that both of his legs are gone. Sitting beside his bed is a doctor who says:
"Ah, good, you're awake. "
The guy says: "Where are my legs, what happened to me? I don't remember anything!" The doctor says: " Well I have some good news and some bad news."
The guy says:
"Give me the bad news first, please."
"Well," the doctor says, " You were in a horrible car crash and your left leg was beyond saving. We had to amputate it but the emergency room was so crazy that night that somehow your right leg was amputated by mistake. So, both of your legs are gone."
"Oh my God!" yelled the guy. "So, what's the good news?"
"Ah" says the doctor, " The guy in the bed next to you wants to buy your shoes."

 

[day_trippr]

dark

 

[homebeerbrewer]

What do you call a guy who lost his right hand?
Lefty.

Where do you buy Lefty a birthday present?
At a second hand store.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

The inventor of the guillotine was struggling financially before his invention finally allowed him to get a head.